......?........

Well this morning so far, my legs are still feeling as if I have rusty metal inside, instead of bones. My left leg is really "dragging" behind me. I don't understand this. Everything I've read about fibromyalgia, it doesn't say anything about this. Plus, I do not have arthritis. Thankful that I have my walker to help me walk. My back is hurting as well this morning. I'm also thankful that our city didn't get the bad weather that most other cities got over the past few days. Whew! They don't have power. The city that my mom lives in, had an ice storm, and she doesn't have power. I called her last night, after I found out, to see if she was alright. I asked if she would like to come here, but she has gas heat, so she's ok. :o) That was really good to hear. :o) Today, my daughter is 5 months pregnant! YAY! I took the photo above this week. :o) I also want to thank all the positive feed back that I've received from my last two entries. :o) Gentle hugs to you all. :o)

Nothing different.

Yesterday, my hips and legs felt a bit better. I was able to walk with my walker. By saying I "felt better," doesn't mean that I'm cured! Ok? It means just that...a bit better. With all of this rain we've been getting, seems to be making me hurt a little worse. Something like when it gets too cold. I don't have arthritis, so I have no idea as to why this happens. I'm still learning. I'd like to thank all of the people that gave me positive feedback from my last entry. I feel so bad that they have been going through the same thing as I am. I know how it feels. It's like when you're going to get married and you're told that you'll lose most of your friends.....you end up with a disease that isn't curable...and you lose the rest of them! Why? Like I've said, I haven't changed. I'm just a person that looks "ok" on the out side, and is in pain on the in side....thats all. I'm a person thats on a mission to find all the information that I can about fibromyalgia. Anything wrong with that? You'd think that the people in your life would want to do the same. But...in the same breath, you dare say anything about you, or about how you are feeling...they're down your throat with...."I know how you feel!" Ya' think?! Give me a break! Or, you're whinning! But...talk about where you've went, what you've baught, or what you've gotten...then it's a great conversation for them! It sucks! How about....doing what you've said you would do to help us out, or, ask if there is anything you can do to help us?! Hmmm. I've asked that question...."Is there anything that I can do to help you?" And then DO IT! I've always thought that you were always suppose to treat others the same way that YOU would like to be treated. I guess some people don't see it that way. But...I'm not changing that thought...I'm still going to treat others the way I would like to be treated....then maybe it might give them something to think about. Or not!

An awakening!

Yesterday was the worst with my hips and legs by far! It honestly felt as if my hips and legs were made of nothing but rusted metal. I could hardly walk, or do certain things. Thankfully, my daughter is here with me during the day. We have to help each other. She isn't suppose to do certain things, and I can't do certain things. I took a nap yesterday, and when I woke up, I had so much on my mind that I must have had a dream about, or was on my mind. Who knows. I'm the type of person who helps people, and I do it because I want to, not to get anything out of it but the feeling of helping others that need it. :o) I donate to charities before I'll throw anything away. This is just who I am. I taught my children to do the same. Now...I've had others tell me that they would help me do things, and not. Counting on this, I had no back up. I took their word. Or...they would come over, but sit and just talk. I appreciate the company...but when I'm told something, thats what I think will happen. I think that others feel I am able to do more than I really can. But...I do what I can, when I can. I can't base my life on others expectations. But, I can expect others to do what they say they will. Someone told me that they would call me back....that was last Wednesday! Yea...I'm still here, but so what! Just because I have what I have, doesn't mean that I still don't have feelings. I'm not using fibromyalgia as a "crutch" as some might think. But, I have helped others out when they've needed it....and I only thought that it would be the same for me...when I needed it...like now, because I do have fibromyalgia. I can't do certain things anymore. I'm so tired of others still thinking that I'm "fine!" My every passing days are gone forever! I like to make sure that they are one that I've done something for others, especially those who can't! I guess I expect way too much from others! I even try my best to help others about fibromyalgia....through this journal. We moved in this house on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I still have this room and my bedroom to get done, and boxes to unpack. Everyday, I do as much as I can. Even if it's one or two things, at least I'm getting it done. I was told that I would have help doing this.....nope! But thats fine with me. I've come to realize not to take someones word on anything anymore! I'm just so tired of others "taking" from me, and not replacing it. I would have never in my wildest dreams thought that the ones that are like this towards me...would be this way. It hurts. I'm sure that others that have fibromyalgia and are reading this can relate. Either people change...or, go on with their lives, expecting you to sit by the phone, or sit and listen to everything they've done or went...without you! When it used to be the things that you've done together! I had a prescription that needed to be picked up yesterday. I couldn't do it. I could barely walk! My daughter went to pick it up for me. :o) I suppose this entry is just me venting! I just realized yesterday that I have no one that has my back anymore.....but me. The funny thing is....I haven't changed! I now have fibromyalgia now! Thats it!

pain. :o(

It feels like I'm doing nothing but repeating myself. All day yesterday, my left hip was in a lot of pain! I could hardly walk. If I could use crutches, I would have! But....then again, I should have been in my wheel chair. :o( When the pain is so bad like it gets at times....it seems almost impossible to think straight. I did, however, lay in bed most of the day. :o( At least my shoulder and my neck are feeling much better. Thats something good. I do feel that something is very different going on with my body. I don't know how to explain it. But...I feel that, you yourself, can only really know how your body feels.

Ditto.

I still have the bump...and the pain that is going with it. I dropped something last night while we were watching a movie, and I screamed! I wasn't thinking, and bent over to pick it up. My husband asked me if there was anything that he could do to help. I have no idea if there is. Nothing I seem to do helps. Too little is known about fibromyalgia. Someone needs to get on the ball and figure it all out! I'm tired of trying to do it all on my own! I don't want to be scared for no reason.

I found another "bump."

A couple of days ago, I was having some pain when I bent over to reach for something in a seated position. I've had this pain for a long time. I just thought it was an ulcer. How am I suppose to know what is, and isn't the fibromyalgia? Last night was the worst of the pain. It's located right below my right breast, and just above a rib. I can now feel it with my hand. Not just from the inside anymore. I couldn't eat again yesterday because of it. It makes me feel nauseated. I really hate this disease! You can not tell what is the fibromyalgia, or something else.  

Happy New Year!

Well....it's finally over! The holidays are now behind me. I can start to relax now. I didn't stay up till midnight last night. I was in too much pain to do so. When I got up, I seen the party favors still on the table....so I guess no one else did also. I don't have much to say....I'm just so tired of writing repeats in this journal. Yes...I'm in pain. Thats it!