I got out of the house...YAY!

Yesterday....I was able to get out for awhile! Since it was like a Friday...I went to the store, instead of my husband. It was later in the evening, but, I did it! YES! It felt so good to get out and see the town, and how the snow is. It was in the 40's all day yesterday, and melted a little of it. There are still places that you can't see, because of the corners are so high with snow! I grabbed my daughter, and asked her if she would go with me. :o) We had a lot of fun, just her and I. :o)

My neck and shoulder is really hurting now. It was before I went to the store. It woke me up again this morning. I got up at 3:25. :o( This is really getting old. Again....this is what's it's like!

Just another day with fibromyalgia.

Yesterday seemed to go on for ever. I've been stuck in this house for so long. It kind of makes you feel like you are going stir crazy! My son dug my car out for me, and parked it on the street, instead of the driveway. There was still at least 2 feet of drifted snow behind my car that had me stuck there! I'm glad someone thought of me, and got my car out. :o) All I did yesterday was sleep. I was feeling very dizzy, and just not very well at all. Of course, the usual pains that I have everyday with this horrid disease. I was out in the kitchen getting ready to make supper. I almost passed out. I got so dizzy, I just hung onto my walker, and hoped for the best. I did almost fall. Oh well. My daughter came out to see if I needed any help. I'm glad she did, because I really needed some help at that time. I went and sat down. No one knows about what happened. It doesn't matter if I told anyone or not. What could they do? Not one thing. Again...I woke up with pain. Gee...what a surprise! This time, it's my right shoulder and neck. Probably because of trying to hold my head up all day. Laugh it you want...but I had to. I have days to were I struggle to do that much! I went to bed at 10:00 last night, and my husband waited up for me, so he could rub my back to help relax me. :o) Little did he know how much pain I was in, and how dizzy I was. I really needed that. :o) I'm very thankful for having such a caring man. I thank God for what I do have. :o)

Nothing out of the ordinary.

Well, I got up at 3:30 this morning. Pain woke me up. It's something that I'm used to. My mom came over yesterday. It was so nice to be able to visit with her. :o) "Mom...stop letting other's walk all over you, even if they are your friends." I seen that it's really wearing you down. I just love you, and care about you, thats all. :o) There's others that work there besides you, and they can make sacrafices like you. Ok? Take care of yourself, not everyone else. :o) Isn't that what you're telling me?

I'm going to call my doctor today to ask if I can have a script for my physical therapist back. My pain is getting to the point to were I can't hardly even "live" my daily life again. I'm going into too many exacerbations. It's too the point to were I can't sleep, walk, move my arms, and be my "normal" self. With my physical therapist, I was able to do those things a little better then now, and wasn't going into as many exacerbations. No...I'm not whinning! I'm just looking out for myself. I'm the only one that knows my body, and thats just how it is.

Another good night!

I'm so glad that I was able to get 6 hours of sleep last night! :o)

Yesterday, my legs were really hurting pretty bad. I had a cramp so large on my right thigh, you could see it through my pajama pants. Then of course, my left leg is still doing it's own thing. Weird. My upper arms, and my shoulders were killing me as well. My right arm is still partially numb. I still don't understand that one either. I guess my left hand id numb as well. Last night, I got a ring on my finger cought on a cupboard door knob, and my kids yelled out to see if I was alright! I guess it looked as if my finger broke, because of the way it bent....but I didn't feel a thing. Thats scary. What if I did break it, and didn't know it? I didn't...but, thats what happened last year with my right ankle. I suppose if it's going to happen, then it will. Obviously, theres nothing that I can do about it. My mom is going to come for a visit today. :o) I'm glad. I haven't seen her in a while. I hope she can make it here ok...we still have about 19 inches out there!

Finally able to sleep!

Last night, I was finally able to get more then 2-4 hours of sleep! I had 8 hours! YAY! That should help my pain level today. Should. Again....I wasn't feeling very well yesterday. The pain kind of makes you feel kind of "not well" after awhile, and thats how I felt yesterday. Everything was hurting, and it drained me of all my strength. I still feel alone. I try to have converstions with others, and all I can say is, "Yes...I used to do that!" Used to. Not, "Yes, I do that." No...I don't know what anyone is talking about anymore. But I have good memories of how I "used" to do the things they talk about. Years ago. The closes that I think that everyone that lives in this house, that got a taste of what it's like to be me, was when everyone was snowed in on Thursday! It was just a normal day for me. Everyones days were all mixed up, and they said how much they hated having to stay home all day! Gee...I know that feeling! I even said, "Now you know how I feel." That was like I had just opened up a can of worms! My bad! No..it was different! Was it? Nope! Then I heard, "I'm not complaining, but I really hate being stuck in this house for so long!" Really? That changed the meaning by saying, "I'm not complaining?" Nope! I don't to them. In fact...they don't even know what I write in this journal. This journal is my outlet. When I write in it, I don't feel so all alone.

.....and once again!

This has to get through to someone.....To all of the "normals" again. I've experianced this, and I know others with fibromyalgia has as well. To all "normals".....Please remember that your loved ones, mothers, sisters, brothers fathers, and relatives that have this dilbiltating disease.....are in pain either most or all of the time. At times, when talking or observing them, they may have a look about their face of grimace, or a "pissed" look.....they're not! Just in pain. Nothing more....just in pain. It does not mean they are mad at you, just in a silent pain of their own. The feeling of being alone is bad enough, and when you ask the dreaded question, "What, are you mad?"....it will only make them worse.....more tense and stressed....which adds more pain. See...a domino effect. Is this making any sence at all? I can be sitting, and may "look" like I'm fully relaxed, and someone starting a conversation with me....I may look at them, and automatically, they think I'm mad! Why? Not for what I've said....because the look on my face. It's just that I'm in so much pain, and no one to relate this to...and again...more stress put on me. Why? I only wish I knew why my friends and relatives can remember that I do have this Demon inside of me....and be a little more sensative to my expressions. I've had this for a long time now.....and still...I'm alone! Because no one can remember that I'm in pain 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I walk with a walker, and sleep in a hospital bed....and no one can remember? Why? I've heard of others with this same problem....their spouces not understanding them with this horrid Demon disease! Why? You'd think that the ones that do live with you would realize! The "normals" need to be educated more on fibromyalgia. If you "normals" out there really love and care for your friends and relatives with this disease, you honestly need to learn more about it! If your loved one or friend has a grimace look on their face....start out by asking them if they are feeling alright....but never assume that they are mad, or in a bad mood! It's not fare to them....it's something that we can not help. Make any sence? The two main things that we are supposed to make better in our lives are; stay away from stress, and get as much sleep as possible. When you are accused of being in a mood that you are not in, only because of your pain....added stress, which also could make you not sleep....is that what you want for your loved one or friend? Educate yourselves! Please.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to everyone! I hope all with fibromyalgia, and other diseases with pain, have a pain free day, and a wonderful holiday! :o)