SSDD

Well....I trulely want to thank all of you that made such good comments and good advise. :o) I agree! Because my day to day like, might show someone else out there who might come across this journal and relate to me. :o) I write in this journal to try to help others. And in that one entry, no, I never envy anyone for what they might have, and I do so very much appreciate what we do have, and thank God that we do have it. :o) I also agree with Miss O by not having to move my own mountain. It does seem that way. My husband and I have always helped others. We've never asked for anything in return, it just is such a great feeling to be able to help and give. :o) But this time, the shoe is on the other foot. We are the ones in need of help. My husband spent the day yesterday trying to make the back porch/deck safer for everyone. What he is doing, is using the old wood and turning them over and drilling new screws in it. The wood is warped and the screws were the wrong ones to begin with, so he's doing his best with what we have to make it safe. :o) He works 12 hour days, stands all day, he takes 15 minutes for lunch so he can sit down, then when he comes home, he starts working here. Plus, he has to do things for me as well. :o( His health isn't in good shape, and it hurts me to see him go day in and day out like this. Like I said before, we had no idea how much work this house needed before we moved in. I'm grateful that we do have this house. But, it's been nothing but a money pit for us. Our neighbors even see how much he works even after he gets off of work. They don't know how he does it. My neighbor came over the other night and was talking to me. She told me that her and her husband would like to help out as much as they can. Wow! I started to cry. She said that they want to try and get us a new deck that would be built right and safe, and a safe porch light, and a few other things. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She feels that the reason that we have met is because God felt we needed them to be here to help us through our hard times. :o) I feel as well, that people come across others paths for a reason as well. :o) She seen that I was crying the other day, and came over to tell me that she made an appointment for me, my daughter, and herself to get manicures and pedicures. I've never had one before. :o) She said it would be a girls day! :o) I like to have such positive people around me. :o) I was able to get a small blow up pool yesterday and a raft. :o) It was right in my budget. The pool was only $24.99! Yay! So now I can stay cool while I'm out side, since I can't get in and out of my tub. Plus, it will also benifit more then just me. :o) I couldn't sleep again last night. My legs were cramping up and twitching really bad all night. And my left eye was hurting, and I was trying to find the cramp so I could rub it out. When I got up and went to wash my face off, my left eye was swollen almost completely shut! I had no idea! I don't know why it's like this. It seems to going down some. Boy, my shoulders, upper arms, hands, elbows, lower back, hips, face, and thighs and my feet are all killing me and all are doing their little cramping job on me. Yikes! My energy level is still bad. My neighbor even said that she will come over to help me with this room. :o) YESSS! It's so full, I have a hard time getting through. Plus this morning I've been tripping a lot as well. I used to do that a few years back. I don't need to fall. Geesh! My husband just got up at 7:30, and he's already working! He really needs to just take a day off. So, this stress of him does make my body ache. Only because I worry about him. Plus, all of the every day stuff that just happens to go on.I'm thinking about taking out a loan to try and help. My two weeks worth of my new medicine wasn't just $95.00 like I origanlly thought. It was $134.38! I'll get the two weeks worth, and my husband said that he'll do his best to get the other two weeks worth for me. And my daughter is going through a very hard issue. I'm doing my best to help her through it. She doesn't need to have this happen to her, she is such a sweet person.  Oh.....my grandson just turned two months, and he had a doctors appointment, and he's teething already! He's getting the two bottom teeth in! I'm amazed! He's doing so good with it. :o) He's my little prince! :o) I should end this. Have a great day everyone, and God bless you all, and thank you again for all of your great comments and advise, it does help me to keep going. :o)

Another day.

Ok....I thought that this was a journal that you can write your feelings in or just about anything else. Well...I guess not. I will stick to talking about my fibromyalgia. I'll do my best to keep my everyday life out of it. From the emails I've received, people would rather hear about the fibromyalgia. So, if I happen to talk about my day to day life, I'll "candy caot" it. I just thought that it would help others to understand why I feel the way I do, and what does flare my body up, thats all. I've read other fibro people's journals about their day to day life, and I wonder if they got the same responces. With that said;

I had 4 hours of sleep last night. Better then last night. :o) I've been taking my night time pills at different times to see if that would help my sleep. Not woking. :o) Oh well. :o) My physical therapist only could come once this week because she has been sick. So, I've been flying solo with my body. lol :o) Yes, it is getting a bit better. I'm a hard 8 now. Yay! :o) I still have to take baby steps when I walk. My lower back, hips and legs aren't doing too good. Oh well. :o) I can still get around. :o) Thats about all that is going on. :o) Hope everyone stays pain free today as much as you can. :o)

....................................When you have a personal mountain to move, and you need help because of your weakness, just keep going, don't ask for help, you can move it on your own.

                                                    ...........................................me

.........................Those who are slowest in making promises are often the most faithful in keeping them.

 

                                                              ................John Jennings

What a week.

I didn't get much sleep tonight. I only had 3 hours, I've been up since 2:00 am. Not a good thing. I still have so many things on my mind. I know everyone is tired of hearing that, but, this is apart of my life, and it also really effects my fibromaylgia big time. My right arm is what woke me up, the pain was in my elbow and my shoulder. Plus, too much on my mind was racing around in my head. My husband and I were talking last night. It was so nice to be able to talk to him. This house that we live in now, he and I don not have any privacy at all, or any place to go to just be alone, or just talk. He said last night how much he misses our old house because of the room we had there. I was sitting on the front porch smoking and he came out as well. That was our time. I loved it. He asked how I was doing, and I was telling him about all of my muscle cramps and where they are, and he said that he wishes he could do something to help me. That made me feel so good inside. :o) He's a special man. :o) The thing is, we were talking about our money situation, and mine as well. I get an S.S.I. check monthly, which isn't much and barely gets me through the month. He works 12 hour days, and we live week by week on his check, plus what I give him from my check to help him. With all of the people that live here, our bills have doubled and some trippled. The bills do get payed, but leaves us with out money to get other things that we need. I can't afford to put gas in my car this month, so I asked him if he could do that for me, and he said yes. :o) When we were talking, he says when will we be able to get our break in life? I would like to know the same. He helps everyone with anything they need, he works his butt off even when it's hot or if he's sick. Most of the things that I went through in the garage that wasn't unpacked yet he took to a place in town to donate them. He's been having headaches lately. Which is unusual for him. He doesn't get them. Which I've never met anyone that doesn't get them. I think it's the same stuff thats on my mind as well. Things that we need, and can't afford. I feel so bad for him. Last week he had to fix the side walk, took money we didn't have, but now no one will trip and fall and it was all broken up so it had to be fixed. There are so many other things that need to be done to the house. He said if he knew it was this bad, we wouldn't have moved here. I talked to him about my money situation for this month, and because of the new medicine that costs $190.00, I'm really going to be struggling. Before this new medicine, I was going to surprise him this month with a new deck kit, because the deck we have is getting bad and weak, and an out door furniture set that I seen at Sears. :o) Then I would be able to sit with him out back. :o) He would have loved that. :o) Like he said, when is it time for our break? The stress in the house is over, but the money situation is still there. I love him to death. I don't like seeing him as stressed out as this, and it in return, stresses me out. Geesh! Sorry for ramling on, but this too is apart of some of my problems with the pain I am having. It's just a day in my life.

A bit better.

Ok....I am feeling a bit better. At least it doesn't feel like my shoulders are up to my ears anymore. I finally talked to the people I needed to talk to. I couldn't hold it in any longer, for my health reasons. I went great! :o) So much better then I expected. It felt like I had 50 pounds of weight lifted off of each shoulder! :o) I am still in a full body exacerbation, but, I do feel so much better. :o) With this weather change, that has help a bit as well. I'm getting there, slowly but surly! :o) It's just so hard when you don't have anyone to talk to about certain things. Except for the one friend I did have that I really could let it all out, and she listened and helped me out as well. :o) I haven't been out of the house since my last doctors appointment, and I'm starting to get cabin fever. My room is still a mess with all of the things that I had unpacked a few weeks ago. :o( It would be nice if I had help. I'll do my best to do it myself today, and take as many breaks if I need to. Oh well...I look good on the out side! If anyone only really knew! Thats ok though, I'm so used to it. This morning my grandson has a doctors appointment. He will be getting his first shots, and my daughter has already been crying. :o) Bless her heart! :o) I cried with both of mine when they got their shots as well. :o) I suppose thats all for right now. Thank you everyone for all of your helpful and nice comments! :o) They help me get through this. :o) Bless all of you! Gentle hugs! :o)

Just hanging in there. :o)

Well...yesterday was one of my worse days in a long time. It was 100 degrees out, but still so thankful for the central air. I had a hard time even to just walk. And thats using my walker as well. My pain level was deffintly a very hard 9. I showed my daughter the large muscle cramps in my left leg, and it was pretty gross to her. Yes, it is, but if only others could honestly know what just that part feels like. Now my whole face is cramping up. Thats such a weird feeling as well. It hurts. This morning I don't have a place on my body that doesn't have a cramp. I have them in my sides, hands, feet, everywhere. I'm in a lot of pain right now. At least I did get 9 and 1/2 hours of sleep last night! Yay! I don't remember when the last time I got that much sleep. It's finally raining here. It has dropped the temperature to 66 degrees. :O) Yay! Feels great! :o) I am still dealing with the same stress that I have been. I'll figure out a way to help it somehow. I was checking my money situation and I won't be able to get that pool I wanted to get, like a friend said would be a good idea, and so did my physical therapist as well. Because since I can't get in and out of my tub, it would have helped. I'll wait until next month. I also am not able to get the body wrap for my skin elasticity. I've lost so much weight, I have skin just hanging. Yikes! Again, next month. See, one of the medicines the doctor put me on isn't covered by my insurance, so I have to pay for it, and it's $190.00! So, that really puts a cramp in my money situation now. But it's worth it. I am hoping that today holds a better day for me...including the stress. The heat and the stress is a bad mix right now, and making me hurt. I'll get over this wave too. :o) Blessings to you all. :o) ..............There may be more to learn from climbing the same mountain a hundred times than by climbing a hundred different mountains.

-Richard Nelson

No comment.

Yesterday when my physical therapist came, Oh wow! I had muscle cramps in places I didn't even know about! When certain areas hurt worse then others, I really have a hard time feeling all of the other cramps. I had 5 on the bottom of my right foot, 8 in my right calve, 3 on my left ankle, 6 in my left calve, and 2 on the bottom of my left hand, and in my left side of my face! I knew about the rest that I had. My upper shoulder and arms area, lower back, both hips and thighs. When she got to rub out my left hip and thigh, I cried. It hurt so bad. I have a very large muscle cramp on that thigh that goes all the way around, and up to the bone that I sit on! OUCHIE! It's so large, it sticks out, and you can really see it. Good Grief! After she had left, it took a while, but I did feel just a bit better. I had a hard time sitting and walking the rest of the day. I should have taken a pain pill to ease the pain up. My left hip and thigh is hurting pretty bad this morning as well. I was able to get 7 hours of sleep last night, so I'm hoping that will help. But, I still have so much on my mind. I was able to talk to a friend of mine last night, and that really helped out so much. :o) But, I still have a lot on my mind. The situation is still going on. And nothing I can do about it. I do want to thank my friend for helping me talk to her last night, because it did really take a lot off of my chest. :o) I know why I'm in so much pain. The heat, and my stress that I'm dealing with. The heat will soon go away, and I'm hoping the stress will at least get better. "It won't last forever!" "This too, shall soon pass!" If I don't tell myself that, I won't make it through my days. I keep praying. Which helps me as well. It got up to 102 degrees here yesterday, and I have a feeling it will be another day like that today. Yikes! I'm hanging in there! :o)

A little better.

I don't know when this heat wave is suppose to end, but all I need is just one cool day to rejuvinate my body. I was able to get a 2 hour nap in yesterday...yay! :o) That helped a bit. :o) Then I got 7 hours of sleep last night! :o) I would still wake up, but at least it was more then 3! yay! :o) So today I'm really hoping that my boday will feel just a bit better then it has been. :o) My physical therapist will be here soon, so that will help my muscles. It hurts like heck, but it also makes the muscles feel better after a while. It's the deep tissue massage that really hurts. But still helps. :o) Yes...still everything is still hurting, twitching, and cramping! I still think it has to be this heat. If I could get in my tub, I would be laying in it most of the day! LOL :o) We even have central air, and to me, it still feels hot. Which I think it's because of the humidity. But, I'm not complaining, at least it's cooler in here then out. :o) Well...I'll see how today goes. :o) Stay cool everyone! :o)

Just about my life.

Well, yesterday was just horrible. I was zapped the whold day. I was very weak. I even tried taking a nap, and I couldn't! Geesh! I only got 3 hours of sleep last night. So, I expect that this day will more then likely be another day like yesterdays. Oh boy! :o) There's another heat advisery out again for today as well. My whole body has been having muscle spasms. And the right side of my face too. That always feels so weird when that happens. Everything that I mentioned before is still really hurting. My left hip and thigh is really the killer. Then my right calve started in on me as well.....might as well join in on all the activities! :o) I am still having some stress. I still don't know what to do about the situation. It's weighing pretty heavy on my mind. I guess the right time will come  when I'll be able to talk about it. Just have to wait it out as well. My fingers are crossed that today will be a better day for me. Even though I haven't gotten much sleep, and the stress. Those are my two main factors that flare me up. Again, I tell myself that this will pass, and it won't last forever. That seems to help a bit. :o) Gentle hugs to you all. :o)

uuuuggghhhh!

What a day this is. My energy level is nil. I think it's this heat wave we've been having, and the humidity. I really feel zapped! It's also messing with my shoulders and my hips and legs pretty bad too. I still need to get this room done, but I just don't have the energy, even though we have central air. I'm just feeling blah! And in pain. Yesterday was an ok day. The heat was bad as well. I stay inside, but I smoke, so I have to go out side because of the baby. :o) I guess I'll end this...lol...it's taking alot of energy just to type. :o) Bless all of you! :o) Remember...it will pass, and it won't last forever! :o)

Just to talk. :o)

First and foremost, I'd like to thank everyone for all the comments. :o) I write in this journal about what I go through in my everyday life, and I don't "candy coat" anything. I feel that it might help someone out there like me, or just having this horrid disease. I would also like for everyone to know that if you would like to, you can email me, and put in the subject line, "your journal." Then I'll know it isn't spam. :o) The photos I have up are of my new hair cut. Someone asked to see it, so here it is! :o) I absolutly love it! I am able to actually do my hair with out my arms and shoulders getting stiff and hurting me. :o) Yay! :o) I had a good day yesterday. Except for the heat and humidity. I stayed in the house as much as possible. I smoke, and we go outside to smoke, and each time I did, my whole body would start cramping up on me. It was in the 90's and very humid. Yuck! Right now, my lower back, hips, and my thighs are still giving me problems. OUCHIE! And of course, my upper arms and shoulders, and shoulder blades are also in on the action as well of hurting me. Thats to be expected. :o) When I wake up, I never know what is going to be ok, or the same. It's suppose to be hot again today, so I don't really know what to expect. Who knows! :o) Oh well....I'll just go with the flow. :o) Need to go now....blessings to you all, and in hopes that you all try to stay pain free. :o)

Relieved. :o)

I finally got the nerve up to talk. :o) A friend of mine helped me in deciding to talk. Thank you. :o) I felt such a relief. So much lifted off of me. :o)

Even though I did have the talk....I still have my pain. But, I expected it. I'm really having problams with my left hip, thigh and knee. I've been using my walker more so I can get around, even in the house. I really don't like to have to depend on it. But, thats just the way it is. :o) I'm just thankful that I do have it to use. :o) It sort of feels like my whole body has gone into exacerbation once again. But, the not talking thing didn't help. My fault. Nevertheless, this is what this horrid disease is all about anyway. I'm just riding the waves of it, and taking it one hour at a time right now. :o) Thats all I can do. :o) I tell myself, this too shall pass. :o) And it will. :o) I got my hair cut last night! Thats a big step for me...lol! :o) I have a hard time trusting others with my hair. I have a neighbor that does cut hair and I showed her a picture of what I wanted, and it looks exactly like it! Whew! lol :o) I love it! It's going to make it easier for me to do as well. I still have my length, I can't stand short hair, (harder for me to get my arms up to do it) and it's still long so I can put it up in this heat. :o) Yay! My daughter had hers cut too. She looks so cute! :o) My neighbor did them both for free! I really appreciated it, because I've been wanting my hair cut, but didn't have the money to have it done. Well...enough rambling...lol. Everyone have a cool day today and blessings to you all! :o)

Another entry.

I have something on my mind that I just can't off my chest. It's really bothering me. I don't have anyone to talk to about this situation. I wish I could talk about it to the person, but it will fall on deaf ears. I already know this. :o( I love this person unconditionally, and am very concerned. I have a feeling that the way my body is acting up is one of the reasons. Not being able to release this. I just had to at least type this much, it seems to have helped me a bit. :o) Gentle hugs to you all. :o)

:o)

I am very sore this morning. Yesterday even after my physical therapist had been here, I was very stiff and had a hard time walking still. I went to the doctors for a follow up. He wrote a script for a 3 wheel scooter. He feels that the way my lower back, hips and thighs have been doing, I need one. Because when they are acting up, like they have been, I rely on my walker so I don't fall. Then, that puts more on my upper body. So, I guess it's a lose, lose situation on my body. Thats what this disease is all about though. I've just accepted it. :o) I'm just going to relax as much as possible today. It should help something thats killing me right now in my body. :o) If not...oh well! :o) I'll wake up tomorrow and begin a new day! :o)

SSDD

Yesterday I just rested. I had too. I was so worn out and no energy at all. I took a nap in hopes to rejuvinate myself....didn't work. But this morning I am feeling a bit better. :o) I do have my doctors appointment today, which I feel good about that. :o) My physical therapist couldn't come yesterday morning, so she will be coming this morning...I can't wait! :o) I know it's going to hurt pretty bad, but I really need it. :o) She does the deep tissue message on me. And all of my body hurts right now, so I know it will feel so much better when she gets done. :o) Well...it does hurt while she's doing it, but I know afterwards I will soon feel better. :o) yay! :o) SSDD means, "Same stuff, different day." by the way. :o) Well...thats all for now. Gentle hugs to you all. :o)

Exhausted.

Over the weekend my husband and I finally went through all of the boxes that we haven't been through or unpacked since we moved in. They were stored in our garage. From Friday evening until yesterday afternoon, he would get the boxes and I would go through them. I couldn't believe how much we hadn't unpacked! I threw so much away, and am donating the rest. I only kept what I really wanted or needed. Which wasn't much. I am so exhausted and in so much pain right now. My back and everything thing else on my body is killing me. But at least it's finally done. :o) I knew I'd be paying for this. And I am. I honestly can't even begin to describe the pain. And where I hurt. It's just pretty bad, and everywhere on my body. I do have a doctors appointment tomorrow, so that will help me. When he sees me this way, he will help in some way. :o) Thankfully. :o)

:o)

Wednesday I seen my liver specialist. The numbers of my triglyserides and my cholesterol over the phone by the nurse weren't as high as I originally thought. Whew! :o) The doctor showed me my test results, and said that he expected the numbers to be the way they all were. Because he had me take the blood test one week after he put me on this diet. So, he said that it was better then expected. :o) He put me on Lipitor. Then I see him again the end of August. I have to take another series of blood tests again, which I don't mind. He said that he expects them to be in a normal range. yay! :o) Me too! :o)

The fibro stuff has been really giving me a hard time once again. Again all of my upper arms and chest are swollen and in muscle knots, and my hips and thighs are in more pain. I'm having a hard time sitting and walking. I have very large muscle knots in my thighs and all around both hips as well. I haven't done anything to set it off....just part of having this disease. :o) I'm just waiting it out, because thats all I can do. :o) It will go away. :o) My pain level is an 8 right now. I've excepted it, and now I'm moving on so I can concentrate on other things in my life as well. :o) It will pass. :o)

*******************************************

I finally got my bedroom done. :o) The only thing I have left to do is to put my clothes in the armoir. I love it! :o) Next it this room. It needs to be cleared out, and organized. Which I have planned to do in the next few days. It will finally feel so nice and comfortable in here as well, like my bedroom is now. :o) I'm still not all the way unpacked from moving here! Yikes! Yesterday my physical therapist came, and geee....my upper chest and arms are swollen pretty bad again. And my right leg and hip isn't doing to well. Oh well...just part of this disease. I need to go back in for chest x-rays, so maybe something will show up for my doctor to see. ::::crossing fingers:::: I also have to go back to see the liver specialist tomorrow. Bummer. But, I feel good about it....it's just the long drive to go see him thats gets to me. :o) Other then all of that, things are going great! :o) I got a red oak tree, and my husband planted it in the front yard. He named it, "Quite Kayden!" Aaaawwww! :o) I'm going to put on the stones around it the date it was planted, and the type of tree, and what grandpa named it! :o) Now my grandson has two things named for him. :o) I named a star for him before he was born, and now a tree! :o) He is so special to us all here. :o) He even helps me with my pain.....just by watching him smile and do his little things, it really helps me to forget my own worries! :o) He's one very special little boy to me! :o) I've also been getting a lot of sleep and enough rest during the day, which is helping as well. yay! :o) So, to sum things up....even though I am in a lot of pain, I'm doing great! :o) My son went to Ft. Meyers Florida on Saturday. He calls me everyday. :o) I miss him already. :o) He said that the hurricane missed that part, and has only rain a bit. Whew! I was worried until I heard from him. He went to the Everglades yesterday and rode on a big fan boat, and today he is going to go deep sea fishing. :o) I'm so glad for him. :o) He went with his girlfriend and her family. So, I'm very excited for him. :o) I'm glad that he gets to experiance all of this. :o) Well....thats about all that has been going on with me. :o) Try to stay cool, and pain free! :o)

:o)

Yesterday went great! :o) The baby was excelent. :o) My legs were fine. The only thing that was bothering me were my upper arms and my upper chest area. :o) So, just because I have fibromyalgia, doesn't mean that I can not do something like that. :o) My best friend was here to help as well. She really helped when I did need to take a nap to rest up for the rest of the day. I really had a great day yesterday. :o) Today I'm the same as yesterday. My legs are fine still. At first yesterday morning I got a little upset and my feelings were hurt, and I was kind of worried that my body would react in a bad way. Thankfully, it didn't! yay! :o) Deep breathing really helps me relax. :o) I just hope that all of the fibromyalgia people that do read this don't have to go through some of the hurtful words from others that just don't understand what we do have, and how we can still do certain things. Gentle hugs to all....and many blessings to you! :o)

A new day

I'm feeling better today. :o) My legs seem to be alright. My upper arms and chest are still the same. Nothing out of the ordinary though. :o) Today I am baby sitting my grandson for the first time! :o) I just got done feeding him for the first time as well. :o) He is so adorable. :o) My husband is here and my girlfrind is coming over to help, if I need it. :o) So far....no problems! :o) Gentle hugs to all. :o)

*************************

Yesterday, I was having a hard time with walking and keeping my balance. It seemed that my ankels were weak as well. I kept tripping, and it felt as if my hips and legs couldn't hold up the rest of my body. Thankfully, I didn't twist my ankles. Whew! :o) I didn't get much sleep last night as well. My legs were really bothering me, and waking me up, so I would try shaking them to ease the pain a bit. Woked for awhile. When my physical therapist came this morning, she said that the reason I was like this is because now I have hundreds of muscles cramps from my waist down. Yikes! That really hurt for her to rub. My upper arms are getting back some of the muscle cramps again in the same places. Both upper front chest areas as well. She told me not to do anything today but rest as much as I can. Well, I have to because I can't do anything. lol :o) Thats about all for now. I hope that best for you all. :o)

Been off for awhile.

Last week, our cable provider decided to turn my cable off of my computer! They told us the reason was starting July 17, they will be changing all cable users to road runner. Well, the thing they didn't do was to at least notify us about this! I finally got back up and running yesterday. :o) Yay! :o) Things have been about the same. I'm sleeping more hours a night, which is good, and is suppose to help me. I have been woken up with my knee caps killing me, and being out of place, then I have to go through the pain to put them back in place. But, I've had this problem for as long as I can remember I noticed something wrong with me. And of course my right arm going numb on me. Nothing new again. Other then that, I've been ok, just the usual fibro stuff. I was told yesterday by my liver doctor that my blood tests came back worse then the first ones did! :o( My cholesterol and trigycerides aren't very good. The nurse told me that the doctor will discuss the rest of the results with me at my appoinment. So, there muct be more, because the nurse told me the "good" news. Again, this too shall pass. :o) I'm still on my diet, so I know that I'm doing the right things. :o) I suppose thats about all thats going on with me. :o) I'm hanging in there, and taking one day at a time, and thats all I can do. :o)