Pictures of my new sink/and just other stuff

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal's entry is toward anyone in specific, I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess, and in hopes it might help someone else as I do.I do not pretend nor imatate to be someone I'm not.I have to be careful, apparently someone are way too obsessed with 'my' life. And if you might take an entry wrong and feel that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life. And if there is something in what I write that "offends" you, options; don't read, or realize that this IS real life, and get out of your plastic bubble and learn more about it! God bless you!......

Good morning everyone! Hoping that all of you are doing and feeling great today!

I finally took some pictures of my new canes and my new sink! :o) Dh worked on it all day yesterday! The only thing thats not done is putting the mirror/medicine cabinate up and the doors on the bottom! YAY! I just love it! I am so grateful for what he did and he told me that he wanted to make sure it was in working order for me for today! God bless him! It's just the right size for me because I'm short! lol And I just took a picture of where my toilet is in my bedroom as well. It's straight across from the sink, and I have a curtain divider that seperates my room and my little bathroom! :o) I just love it!

Also...excuse my bed...it's a mess. I had just gotten up and my physical therapist had come. She gives me my deep tissue massage on my bed. Yes....the massage really hurt me. My left shoulder and hip are still very tender and sore!
I told her that I was at the er on Friday and I didn't know if I was suppose to call the agancy or my case manager or not. She told me that I'm suppose to call one of them to let them know and they will come out and make sure I'll be ok if I'm not admitted to the hospital. Soooo, now I know! :o) This is just all new to me and she said she understands because the first time, everyone doesn't really know what to do at first...Whew...I'm glad I'm not the only one! lol I did keep the papers from the er and she read them and took notes. After the massage, I was getting out of my bed and she had to help me because I'm still so dizzy! Geesh! She told me that she was very glad to see that I have those new canes to use, because she said that they do keep and give you are more balanced way to walk. I was glad to hear that! She helped me walk to the kitchen so I could turn on my coffee and back to my room. She said she's worried about me being this dizzy.....so am I! And the side effects from the Vicodine is dizziness! LOL Too funny! :o) Oh well!
So, I need to call my case manager and let her know. I needed to call her anyways today because I have a few questions to ask her. I really like her, she has such a great sense of humor! :o)

My home health aide will be coming today at 1:30. So far, I like her. She actually works! :o)
I don't have anything planned today. Just the same old rest still! Bummer! It will get better. Theres a book I keep wanting to get started on, but everytime I try, I just can't do it, because I'm too dizzy and it makes my stomach upset!

About yesterdays entry, believe it or not, I just touched on a few things in my life growing up. I was 12 years old when I acceped Jesus into my heart as my savior! I remember that day so well!
And yes, I went through a lot of couseling because of my life when I was growing up. We even had family counseling just with my mom, my stepdad and me. He blamed everything on me. I was in and out of the hospital for ulcers! That started when I was 14. And for two years, I had missed so much school because of being in the hospital. My doctor told me that I was too young to have problems with ulcers! I didn't know because I didn't know what they were or what caused them. I would be in for weeks at a time!
I think my doctor knew what was going on in my house to me. But nothing was ever said about it. I don't know why. I was basically raised as the 'fifth wheel' and was told so! How I didn't belong like my sisters did. I was someone else child. He actually told me one day at the dinner table how much he hated me and that he never did and never will love me! And I was 15 and getting ready to go to work! I was made to work. I of course just started to cry because I knew in my heart how much I tried. This will probably sound pretty stupid of me but, when I watched t.v. and watched something like The Waltons, Little House on The Prarrie, or just anything that had a family setting....I just thought that it was all made up! I never knew anything else that was outside of my own home. I thought that was how everyone's home life was. I didn't know the difference. I was never allowed to spend the night with anyone or have anyone spend the night with me. Now I know why. I went to church camps and was only allowed to associate with kids from my church. His rules.
When I did talk to him and forgave him for all that he had done to me, I knew that it was nothing I did wrong. He was/is a very sick man! And my mom...yes, she did know. No, she didn't do anything about it. I don't understand why, but I have talked with her as well and forgave her. Her and I have a very good relationship now. :o) I don't blame them for really anything because ....They know not what they've done! I'm fine now and I consider myself a surviver. :o)

This is why my family is so important to me! :o) There were two ways I could have gone when I had my children. Either do the same to them as how I was raised, or do the opposite! I chose the opposite! :o) We never spanked them or go too far with giving them too much material things. We just spoiled them with love! And I'm very proud of the way they have grown up! :o)  When you 'hit' your child, all you're doing is teaching them to hit! And what does that accomplish? Nothing. We talked to ours and let them know why they got in trouble and then something was taken away from them...like their radio, and they had to earn it back! No reason to hit your kids. (my opinion) It's all about love and mututral respect and unconditional love!
I have a sister...the first born for my stepfather...that would rather see me dead! And thats exactly what she told me! She thought that I was prentending that I had Fibromyalgia! Oh yea...sure I was! She said not to talk to her kids about it because "I" didn't have it! This sister acts a lot like her father and my stepfather! She was always asking us to help her, like staying with us for awhile and things like that. We never turned her down because she really needed our help. About a year and a half ago, once again I got a call from her asking if she could stay here until she could get back on her feet and she would also be closer to her children....the father has them and they are divorced. She had an ultearer motive! She caused so much havic and pain to my family and my best friend! She did actually tell me that the only reason that she wanted to stay here was to break up my friendship with my best friend and to basically break up our strong family unit! She tried and almost did it! But our family's love and support for each other was so much more stronger than her bad ways and lies! I kicked her out and she told me that she would rather see me dead! So...she called me about a month ago telling me that she's "changed" and she did a lot of soul searching! I'm sorry...I just don't believe her. I'm not at all trying to be mean but, this is what she says everytime she starts trouble and lies! Like the boy who called wolf! She's made it to where no one in the family trusts her or believe her, and she's done that to herself! So, we don't have a close sister relationship because of this. Sad. We used to have so much fun together! I do miss that. My dh even said that it would have been nice if she could have been here at my daughter's wedding. Yes, it would have. But we both know that we have to keep our distance, because of the trust issues with her. I do love her because she is my sister, but I don't have to like the things that she does and says.
Well....I should end this chapter! :o) By the way, does anyone know how to have your journal copy righted? I'd like to write a book and also use this journal as well. And, does anyone know how to start a book? I'm very serious! Thank you! :o)
I also want to thank all of you for your comments! :o) Thank you! They really do help me to get through my days! No kidding! :o) Oh...I also would like to say SMILE ! :o) Find something that makes you laugh! And make sure you give many hugs! Be sure to tell everyone you love, that you love them! :o) I truly love my family! God bless all of you! :o)

Have the best day that you can!

 

 

Tags: Family, Love, Fibromyalgia, MS, Pains, Support, My life! :o)