Need to let off some steam.

I've been up all night now! Didn't get tired! I've been in pretty bad pain all day, and my massase therapist never came! Whats up with that?! This probably sounds like a joke but I had an appointment with my sleep specialist today! HA! He was going to give me somthing to help me, but then he decided not to because of a certain medication I'm on! Geesh! So....I have to wait 3 months! I was on the computer all morning still trying to find places to get a motorized wheel chair. I called 3 more places. And so far, thats all there is! When each one found out the kind of insurance I have, they said they would have someone else call me back! hhhmmm....so far, my phone hasn't been ringing off the hook! I called to see how this place in Troy was coming along with my statice on something else, and they told me that they don't have 2 papers that they need from my doctor! OMG! Don't you think that they could have called him?! Then they actually asked me if I would like for them to get ahold of him?!!! UH Yea!!! OMG! People!!! This whole ordeal has made me so stressed out! It would really make me feel a lot better if I had people show me some support over this matter!!!! I've been to other web sites, and have seen over 20 different comments for someone that had a bad day!!! Now thats support!!! What am I doing wrong? Please tell me! No, I'm not feeling uplifting right now! So please don't say that it's that! I've heard that enough! And no, I'm not trying to get something for nothing, and Yes, I do know that God helps those that help themselves!!! I've heard that one too!!!! No shit! What have I been doing since August?! I even had a hot tub donation jar! That didn't work! And you know the ones that told me this are the ones that were going to doante a hot tub, but then changed their minds! Saying that I wasn't trying to help myself! Yea right! This whole matter has been way too stressful for me to handle! When you tell me something and then don't do it, to me that like telling me a lie! And thats one thing that I can not stand, is a lier! The only thing thats keeping me going is my faith! If I didn't have that, I would be in a rubber room right now! It seems that I have help and friends when I'm the one helping, but where is everyone when I need help?! And no, I'm not ungrateful! Everyone that knows me knows that I'm thankfull for everything that I have! And no, I'm not hiding behind my fibro either!I'm writing all of this so I don't hear it in a comment! Like I said...I've heard them all! I don't get support...I get dogged on every word that I write! This may be a harsh entry, but everyone feels frustrated every now and then! I do have my mom my daughter, and my son and husbands support. It just would be nice to hear that I have it from more then them. This may be the last time I write in this journal for awhile. It doesn't seem to help me and I haven't gotten anymore emails from anyone that it's helped either. So whats the point?! I had bought a friend over the summer something that I really wanted, and I went ahead and gave it to her! Stupid mistake! I happened to be walking up to my house, and seen it outside holding something up!!! Boy, that was appreciated!!! What a bitch! I just walked in the house and thought that this is it, I'm never going to be nice and buy anything nice for someone ever again! I'm so tired of being the dirt under someones shoes! I grew up that way, and my life still hasn't changed! Even though I have! If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have no luck at all!

I'm not sorry for this entry, but I have no intentions of offending anyone as well. I feel better letting of some steam. God bless you all. And don't worry about any comments or if you happen to know anyone or any place that could donate, because I don't care anymore. Have a good day!