Just a Wednesday.

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal is toward anyone in specific.....I've had this journal since aol came out with them, and I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess,and in hopes it might help someone else as I do. And if you might take an entry that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life......

I rested a lot yesterday. I was in bed most of the day sleeping. My chest really hurts, and is now starting to hurt in my back as well. It does feel like I have water balloons in my chest that are heavy. The doctor said it would take up to 3 weeks for this to get better. I'm patiently waiting. :o) It has to get worse before it'll get better. :o) My daughter and grandson were here yesterday. :o) Boy is he really growing and acts so much like his mommy! LOL Too cute! :o) she just called me to see if I could watch him so she could do a few things. Of course I said yes! :o) she is so appreciative! :o) Both of my kids are and that makes me feel good inside! :o)

I have two other sisiters that I grew up with. They are stepsisters, but we were raised as full blooded sisters. All of my one sisters life...and I don't know why...she has done nothing but be mean to me and went out of her way to do bad things to me and my other sister. We both don't know why. It has hurt us both. I know one thing that she really doesn't like to hear...is the truth. She has lied to me and used me and has stabbed me in the back so many times...but since she is my sister, I've always turned the other cheeck and if she needed me, I was and have been there for her. She has told me so many times how badly she hates me, and was jealous of me while we were growing up. I don't know why. The last time I helped her, was just a few months back. Whew! I found out the only reason why she wanted to stay here was she decided that she would try to break ne and my best friend up! Good Greif! Why? She didn't like her...so she felt that she would try and start trouble. That hurt me pretty badly when I found out the truth. She was going behind my back and telling anyone who would listen all kinds of lies and bad things about me. She even tried this on my daughter! My daughter knows how I truly am and didn't believe her at all. She tried hard to get to her as well. Sad.

Last week, I got a phone call from her. Really surprised me! She was apoligizing for something that she had said to me. I accepted. But after that, she was still talking about others to me and I could here it in her voice how she was trying to do it all over again! I thought about it for a few days, and I wrote her a letter. I let her know that I wasn't going to fall for it again. Which I won't. I have too many things going on in my life for petty little games. I got a letter from her yesterday letting me know that all of my illnesses that I have, I deserved them all, and they were "my life coming back to me!" Ok...she can think that. But...what she wrote after that really did hurt me pretty bad. She said that she wasn't going to say bad things about me this time, but "eef that" and "eef me and our mother and our sister!" And if I ever needed water or anything to live, she would walk away from me and never give it to me. That hurt.

In my opinion....again, she didn't like it that I caught her before she did something bad to me again. I wasn't going to fall for her lies a gain. So, in her eyes, she sees that the letter she wrote to me was justified! Calling me bad names and "eeffing" this and that doesn't make things better. I had told her on the phone that I would pray for her and the kids, and I do. She just said, well, ok I guess! I honestly don't know what I or my other sister had ever did to her for her to treat us in this manner. She even treats our mom the same! :o( Not nice at all. :o( I know that one of these days she will finally see the truth. God will show her. :o) I will still pray for her and the kids. That will never change. :o) I still love her as my sister. That will never change. :o)

I guess I've rambled on way too much. I guess I just needed to get this off my chest. Yes....words DO still hurt! And others need to realize that. Because the words stay in your mind...they aren't like if someone hit you and the bruise goes away...words stay longer and hurt longer. I'm a truthful and honest person and thats all I ask to be treated back. Thats all. And the people that do know me, knows that. :o)
God bless all of you and have a wonderful day! :o)