Yesterday/I'm only 44!

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal's entry is toward anyone in specific, I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess, and in hopes it might help someone else as I do.I do not pretend nor imatate to be someone I'm not. And if you might take an entry wrong and feel that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life. And if there is something in what I write that "offends" you, options; don't read, or realize that this IS real life, and learn more about it! I also know that what I write in MY journal, that NOT everyone will agree with me and I don't expect them to! God bless you!......

 

Good morning! Praying that all of you are doing and feeling fine today!

Yesterday....I had an appointment to see my nurse practitioner (sort of like my gp). I wrote things down so I could remember what I wanted to ask her and also to let her know what has been going on with me. Yesterday was one of those days where I really had to struggle to even speak! I just couldn't think or remember almost everything! I even think that it was my worse day like that!
Now this morning I'm a bit better because I can remember more and my visit with the practitioner. It was very scary to be like that! I felt as though I knew nothing about me! If that makes any sense?
The visit went great, despite my own fall back. I just love this doctor. She's very understanding and spends a lot of time with you. That I like. :o) I told her about all of the swelling that I've been having. She pulled up my pants leg and pulled down my socks and said, "I can't believe how swollen you are! Well...I wasn't as swollen at all, well to me that is. She told me to wear those TED's socks and to stay in bed as much as I can. But get up and walk periodically. And, she also ordered me a portable oxygen thingy! :o( She wants me on oxygen all the time now.

Believe me, all kinds of things were just racing through my mind when she told me that. All of my labs came back great. My liver, kidneys, and my sugar was fine and in the proper range. That was great to hear! :o) Because usually my sugar is high, my liver is a bit high and my cholesterol is usually very high! Not this time. :o) So, those are some good things about my body. :o) I've gained 3 more pounds as well. I did let her know that this has been the way the water retention has been. She told me that it will do this until we can get it under controll with the proper doesage with my Lasix. Then the water won't be so raticle on me. Which makes since to me. I remember when I was taking care of my grandparents, this is what my grandmother went through as well. So I do understand her.

She also wrote me a script for more Darvocet. I have 2 refills on it and to take it 4-6 hours as need. I really thanked her for that! The Darvocet takes the edge off a bit. And believe me, taking the edge off is wonderful! She also wrote me two more scripts; one for a hot tub and the other for a lift chair! I told her that I have ten thousand dollers to spend each year to help me live my life with the proper needs. I took the book of my program with me so she could read this for herself. She hasn't heard of it and said how wonderful the program is. :o) Of course I agreed. The last script was to fax over to Legacy for the portable oxygen thingy. She wants more labs done, so I'm just going to ask my nurse when she comes today if she could do it. My physical therapist and my aide also come today. Whew! :o) And they all should be coming around the same time! LOL I'm going to feel pulled in all kinds of directions! lol

I've been having some problems with someone that continues to harrass me. I've known this person for many years now. And I've also never seen this side of them as well. I get pretty upset and I start to sweat, shake and my chest starts to hurt. I will not allow this person to be the one to take me away from my family!!! Yes, I have done everything to block them. I've even apoligized so many times that it feels like I need to start doing it in different languages! Because I did say some mean things as well. But all of this started months ago! As if I need this? I have removed this person out of my life! And you know what....I feel like I've taken the 30 years off of my shoulders! I just will not allow anyone to treat me in such a way. I've felt bullied and used. I was also told to not air their dirty laundry. I'm sorry but, I'm not. All I'm doing is writing about my life and what I go through, in my opinions.

My daughter and her husband got the house!!! YAY! :o) I am just so proud of them! Her husband has worked his but off and saved so they could buy instead of renting! :o) Thats why they moved in here for a couple of months. :o) The house is perfect for them! Her husband is really doing a great job of taking care of my daughter and grandbabies! :o) When I ask my daughter, I'll post some pictures! :o) And they're both 22! Wow! I'm ooozzzing happiness for them! :o)
Well, I need to go for now. This is the first time I've been on the computer since yesterday morning. And that was for about 1/2 hour. God bless all of you!

Do not be so slothful as to ask God to solve your difficulties, but never hesitate to ask him for wisdom and spiritual strength to guide and sustain you while you yourself resolutely and courageously attack the problems at hand.

 

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