Transforming

I put in the subject, transforming because thats what a butterfly represents. Thats what I'm going through right now with coping with my pains and new illnesses. I'm almost out of my cocoon! :o) (done mourning my losses)

Alot of people don't understand this feeling/prossess of life. Why? Because some don't have to. Or, choose not to, then down the road in years, they will impload/expload. I don't want that. I'll deal with it, and move on. Thats a choice I am able to make on my own. I would never say to anyone else that I think they should do what I do, or believe how I believe, because I can just sit back and say I was right. And what makes the way they believe right? I can't do that. And I won't! Thats not in my job description! I'm sick of seeing/reading how others think "they" are the ones that are "right"! What I believe is what I believe because I live in America, and I have the freedom to choose what I want to believe in! It's my right! And who says that "you" are right? I'm not going to, it's not up to me! I live in America, not in a fantisy world!

Moving on.......
Today is already in the 40's! Yessss! I really want to take my grandson out to play in the snow! Last night, I did something that I'm paying for now. My daughter was listening to some 80's music on tv, and of course they just had to play the good songs that makes it hard for me to sit still! :o) I just had to get up! My grandson was in the living room already dancing! Yep, he loves to dance! Yay! :o) Just like grandma! lol I went in there with my cane, and here he came running up to me and wanting me to dance with him! :o) How can you say no to a baby! :o) Well...you just can't! lol So, I danced! lol Not like I used to, but I moved around a bit, and he loved it! So, we were having a little dance party! lol :o) We both were having so much fun! My son came in and was dancing and so did my husband too! So we all were dancing in the living room! What a wonderful time that was! :o) He would come and grab my hand and dance with me like that, and I truled him around, and he loved that! :o)

This morning I got upat 1:30. and my daughter was still up. I went upstairs to the bathroom. I couldn't get back down! I yelled for her. She had to help me down and back to being seated! I'm paying for the dancing I did. But, I'm in pain 24/7 now, and if I'm going to be in this much pain, then I'm going to get up and do things! Like today! :o) He'll love playing in the snow. :o) I know I do! lol :o)

Yesterday when my home health aid was here, she told me that there was a stomach flu going around, and that her mom was in the hospital because of it and she just got over it on Sunday, and most of her family had it as well. I told her how my stomach's been feeling. If I do eat, I can eat only mild stuff like cereal, toast andthings like that. I hope we don't get it...thats the last thing we need around here.

I stayed in my computer chair most of the day yesterday until my daughter got home. Because I was alone, and I didn't want to fall and not be able to get help. I really have that fear still. When she got home, then I layed down and took a nap. That kind of helped my stomach a bit.
I kind of dread tomorrow in a way, my physical therapist will be coming again and I know that it's really going to hurt pretty bad on my legs! :o( My thighs are the part that hurt the most!

I know I need to get a nap before I go out to play! :o) I'm really weak right now. Just to push down on these keys are zapping energy from me. I know that probable doesn't make much sense, but it does to me. :o)
All of the pain medication I have left are the Dorvicets. They don't do anything. If I take 3 they might. I normally take two, so one more isn't going to hurt. I'll make sure I have something in my stomach so they won't make me sick.
I'm going to go now. Thank you all for your comments and emails! :o) Gods blessings to all of you! :o)