Trying another entry.

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal's entry is toward anyone in specific, I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess,and in hopes it might help someone else as I do. And if you might take an entry wrong and feel that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life. May God bless you!......

 

Good afternoon to everyone! I hope you are all doing and feeling well today! :o)

Yesterday, my son and his girlfriend and my daughter pitched in to get me a Mother's Day gift! All of these years...I've never had brand new set of pots and pans. They've all been hand-me-downs from my grandma. :o) What a surprise! :o) Now, when I'm able to cook anything, I won't know how to do it in new pans! LOL :o) How sweet of them! :o)

Tonight...I'm going to finally get to see my son play in his band! They are having this big concert with alot of other bands out at the Elks Farm! :o) I'm so excited! The whole family is going! :o) I even bought my grandson a pair of head phones that cut out alot of the noise! I put them on and I couldn't hear a thing! I blasted the TV music and still could only feel the beat on the floor! So, they will work! YAY! :o) Of course...I'll take pictures! :o)

Tomorrow, my daughter and her boyfriend are taking me to the Olive Garden for dinner! I've never been there! :o) I've heard alot about how great it is! :o) I can't wait! :o)

My girl friend and her husband were here earlier! :o) We had a great talk! :o) We actually had time to talk this time too! lol ;o) It was nice.

She brought up the fact that when she walked in the house, how she would have never ever in her wildest dreams would have thought she'd ever see my house the way it is to this day!!! :o( I agreed. :o( I'm ashamed. She also noticed as she came in the back...that my ramp is blocked off still! She asked me why? "I don't know." I'm not the one that did it...it, to me, would make more sense to block off the steps, not my ramp! I now have been using the steps and it bothers my hips and legs so much more then when I use my ramp. I'd much rather talk to this wall next to me then to go into it with the person who has done it. My house stinks, it needs cleaned so badly! I'm not kidding when I say it's been months! I'm embarressed by it! My physical therapist has said things to me about it, and am surprised that the person thats suppose to be taking care of it hasn't been turned in by her. :o( I don't qualify for any home cleaning servises. My kids do what they can do. I do what I can do. And so does the person that is taking care of me. But an alcoholic will say anything to make you believe them! :o( Sad. It's embarrsing to admit. I don't write for anyone's pity. I write for me. It feels better to get it off my chest and out of my mind. I would love to have my life back. No..not the life without having my illnesses...the one with the love and help that I once had. It's found in your heart, not in a bottle! It's very clear here when anyone comes over anymore. Me...living in my 'cubical' is what I call my bedroom, and then the rest of the house....you won't find me. Because it's hard for me to get around in! A pig sty! If I EVER even thought about (which I wouldn't have) left the house in this manner, I wouldn't have heard the end of it!!! I do see now...the woman must be the back bone of the family...and once she's "DISABLED" so is everything else! Once again...I was soooo wrong in listening, and believing in someone! It'll never happen again! never! my trust is so low.

 

 

Tags: Blogplugs, Caregiving?, Trust, Love.