Still....what do I do?

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal's entry is toward anyone in specific, I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess,and in hopes it might help someone else as I do. And if you might take an entry wrong and feel that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life. God bless you!......

 

 

 

Good morning....and I do hope that everyone is out of and/or not in pain.

Yesterday morning.....my physical therapist came. She didn't give me my deep tissue massage. Whew! There would be NO way I could handle it. Still in massive pain, and since she is a nurse as well...I told here what was going on with the neuro'e office and no call backs as yet!
Since he is in Middletown...and thats far for me to drive...she said that if I could find a way to go down there, it might help to just show up.
My son worked all day, the person staying here has no car, my mom worked all day...so, I didn't make it.
I called again when the office opened. Yes...a real person this time! I told her what has been happening to me, and these relapes that I've been going through. She got the nurse and put her on the phone and I talked to her. She told me that this was NOT good! Of course I agreed! No it isn't! She said that she was going to tell the Dr. right away and get me into the ms specialist...and then call me right back!
I'm STILL waiting!!!

My husband and I have been talking. Last night he told me how he's very upset over all of this! How he is watching me day by day...crying in so much pain and not being able to help me. And the Dr. isn't acting fast enough. How he's watching me lose different abilities quicker then we both thought would ever happen. He's even noticed how hard it is on me to even think...yes...something simple!!! He askes me simple questions...and it is taking me so much longer now to answer him back! :o( I feel so stupid at times.
We were both just sitting and talking last night about my future and how fast things are going for me. Well.. so do I. He feels so helpless. We both just sit and cry. We have no idea as to what to do.
Just still waiting! And the waiting is making me worse....and thats what I've told the nurseyesterday. Like I told DH last night...they don't have to feel this...what I'm feeling so they're not "right on" it! He said that he can see it in my eyes everynight when he comes home. I told him...if I knew what to do, I would let him know too. This sucks! It's inhumane! I'm losing more of my eyesight...and it's now to where I can't write with my hands! This stuff really is fast! What going to happen to me because I'm not on any ms meds?
Just keep me in your prayers.
Gods blessings to you all!

 

Tags: MS, My life!