Yesterday's the past-tomorrow's the future-but today is a gift; that's why it's called the present!
The graphic reads: "This is over my head but under my feet cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this beat and everything will be back to the way it was. I wish it was that easy." I chose this graphic for a reason. I liked what it said and it fits my mood right now. :o) Just in a melancholy mood. I watched a great movie last night. Lake House! Loved it! 2 thumbs up! My husband actually watched it with me! Wow! :o) I'm not able to sit in our living room anymore, or basically anywhere else in the house for that matter, except for this chair or my bed, and I have my own t.v. and dvd in here. He sat in here with me and watched it with me. :o) That meant so much to me. :o)
This whole week has been nothing but up and down. Physically and emotionally. I know I'm not ever alone, I have my family and God in my heart....but...when you have honestly basically nothing that you can really do anymore...kind of makes it a bit hard to "grasp." I've done a lot of grieving this week as well. I've had a lot of losses to deal with. Some very unexpected! But, that just comes with life, and I have to go with the flow of it, then move on. I know that this too shall pass. And it will. :o) God will heal me! :o) In His time!
I did sleep last night! YAY! :o) I did try to watch another movie called The Hills Have Eyes! LOL Ummm No! Couldn't get into it! LOL I laughed and then took it out! Couldn't take it anymore! :o) My son also rented me the original...so I'll watch it today...maybe it will be better...in my opinion, the originals usually are. LOL :o)
I was reading my Bible as well last night in the book of Deuteronomy. I will not put any quotes in my journal anymore because I don't and can not take anymore "hate" emails! But....I did read something that made me cry like a baby! Beautiful! :o) Sometimes...like last night, I will take my Bible, and just open it and point on a page, then read from there, and it is "always" something I NEED! :o) Always!
I realize that I may be jumping all around in writing nut thats just how I feel right now. Bare with me. :o) I'm the first to admit that I'm not all there! LOL :o)
Back to the graphic....it would be nice if that was the way things worked. Life isn't that way...life can be very cruel. I'd love to be able to hug without it hurting me. I want to be able to pick up my grandson without the pain. I'd like to be able to sit in any chair I choose to. I want to walk without a cane, walker, or any walking aid. I want to stand straight again. I pray to God for these things. I also thank God for life! Which is the most preciouse gift of all! So...am I asking for too much? I'm not sure. There are times I think I am because I feel selfish. I don't ever want to be that way. I'd never want to take away from someone else more in need from me. Then I think maybe by asking God for these things, He will provide me with them in His time. Not always. I know that God can give and can taketh away! So, I am very thankful for what I do have! Life! :o) I can see my grandson and hear him! That is so much better then not being able to! :o) As you can tell....I've been doing way too much thinking this week! :o) Well...what would you do? After getting a different diagnosis, after so many years of thinking you have something else. What a way to screw with a persons mind! Geesh! Too much to comprehend all at once! Overwhelming and over loading!
Moving on.......
Don't get me wrong....I'm still in good spirits. I have to have that! :o)
I'm done now confusing all of you! LOL Thank all of you for your emails and comments! God bless you all!
16 comments:
I love the graphic!
And no, you are not at ALL selfish for hoping that God can somehow heal you. If anyone in this world deserves it, it's you.
Hope you're having a great weekend!
Morgan
xxxxx
http://journals.aol.com/Sneezy7125/RandomThoughts
i am so happy that you slept lastnight! yay!! thanks fortelling about the lake house i was wondering if anyone would give a review on it, i really want to see it. i cant belive people are so ignorant that they send you nasty emails over a bible quote! people need to grow up.
take care
noelle
h
Lisa,
I will have to get that movie and check it out we usually like the same things, however I enjoyed the hills have eyes, it was very slow moving at first but once it got going it wasnt to bad. Hope you get to feeling better.
love ya,
Rhonda
You can put anything into your journal. Like I said, block this person from emailing you and toss them for harassment. Hugs, Dana
Lisa,
Do NOT allow hate-mailers to stop you from putting in your journal what you want. They will have won, and that's the last thing you want. As one commentator said, block their screenie.
Be well
just block the mean people and go ahead and put what you want in your journal:) have a good week
Deb
I'm sorry you're still in so much pain. If you want to put something from the bible in your journal then you should, block the hate mail, report them to AOL. It's your journal! Jeannette xx
Lisa, I love that graphic!
This has been a very hard week I know for you, and it has been difficult for me as well, for reasons I wrote you about privately. I find great perspective by reading what you write. It makes me realize how lucky I am. I consider myself blessed, and one of those blessings is having a friend like you. Lisa, you're always in my thoughts and prayers.
Merry
Lisa, Hi I saw the Hills Have Eyes and it is a horrible movie, I am glad you did'nt see it, you would have been terrified , Love You Lisa
h
Lisa, really you should be able to quote the Bible in your journal without backlash. Our journals are our own places to put what we want. I pray that one day the pain subsides to the point you can hug and move around. I can't even imagine what your days must be like. I continue to pray for you. HUGS Chris
I loved the tag Lisa.I dont think your selfish asking god to help.i just hope he hears you and makes you life easier. You have an amazing family, something to be thankful for, you live life the best way you can and im sure your family are very proud of you, i know you will get down hearted with life sometimes, and its ok to feel that way.You have a strong will and that together with god and your family will see you though the difficult times.
gentle hugs and love
katie
You're such a sweet lady and you don't deserve all that pain. I'll say a prayer for you too. I love the graphic. : ) Big hugs and GBU, Shelly
Don't ever think of yourself as a selfish person, that maybe you are asking for too much. You are one of the least selfish people I have met on here. When someone is in as much pain as you are I would think that you weren't normal if you weren't wishing for it to end, or wishing for something never have happened to you so wouldn't have to feel the pain you are feeling. The good thing is that you have a very strong faith in God that seems to really help you, and you have a very positive attitude in general. Just continue to stay true to yourself.
xoxo, Heather
h
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