I don't know how this entry will turn out

I had a doctors appointment yesterday morning to see my family doctor and a follow up on my blood work. I also had a few questions for him as well. My blood work all came back great! Thats the good news. :o) Very glad to hear that!

I wanted to ask him about the osteoporisis. And if there was anything for it. Well, yes there is, in fact, alot of things...but, they all will damage my esophagus! So, to me, there is nothing. Thats ok. I also wanted to ask him about Thrush again. My mouth is burning once again! :o( ggrrr! I just don't get it!

Plus, I can only open my mouth so far on my right side and it's not very far at all. I have to squeeze a sandwich together as much as I can just to fit it in my mouth! He looked in my mouth. No, I do not have thrush again! Whew! Well, I thought that was such good news! I wish I would have had it! What I do have is something that has to do with the mucus in my mouth!

Why? Because of my dentures that do not fit! Plus, the TMJ that I already know I had...is deforming my FACE!!!! :o( The joint of my jaw on my right side is already damaged! :o( My mandilla is already damaged! :o( And my left jaw is on it's way to being just like my right one! :o( Then I won't be able to open my mouth at all! :o(

Oh yes....everytime I've seen my dentist, I've told him how my dentures do NOT fit me right, and I told him that when I got them! But....He agrues with me! Doesn't he think that I should know? I've had them for 3 years now and thats why my face is so bad! :o( I had a feeling something was going wrong, because of my breathing and a few other things that were different! :o( Thankfully my doctor got right on his cell phone yesterday, and called a friend of his that is a ortho and will take my insurance! I don't know how many times I thanked him for doing that for me! Because if I were to try and call, no one would take me in as fast! My doctor said it's that bad, and it needs to be taken care of asap! :o(

So....I found out so much yesterday. The only good news that I had was my blood work was great! And thats it! I also have to start using my electric wheel chair now. :o( My lower back, hips and legs are and have gotten much worse. :o( So, I will do my best to clean up toys around here so I'll be able to use it. They just need to be put in their place, where they belong.
I told my mom yesterday that this is it! My doctor also told me that there are no more medicines for me to help with my pains or really anything else, because I've either been on them or tried them all. But, I'm not going to go through anymore of this! No more tests, no more anything! All I get done doing is cry and pray for strength! I'm just so very tired.
And the extreme home make over....yes, it would be such a blessing if it could truly happen....but to get my husband on the camcorder...yea right! I can't do it! So, there goes that down the drain! And yes, this house does need to be made over so I can live better in it with my wheel chair! :o( Life would be so much easier if others would/could help, but if they won't, what can I do about it? Thats what I want for Christmas....my medical needs met! I know, thats a laugh! :o(
And my daughter....I don't know what's going on there with her and her boy friend. It seems that she doesn't talk to me much anymore about really anything! :o( And that hurts! :o( I don't know whats going on. Why I'm hurting so badly? Because I feel that when you go and help and help and help and it takes from you....and then it's all turned around to where what ever happens or is said...it suddenly is YOUR FAULT??? HOW AND WHY???? I just don't get it? Yes...my heart is hurting pretty bad right now! :o( Over everything that I've talked about in this entry! It's all about, "WHY?" And to that, I say, "I'm done with it all!"
God bless all of you!

Tags: Why, tests, daughters, help, love, disability