What did I do so wrong?

Thank you Dana for the Christmas card! I also recieved the Traveling Necklace as well yesterday! It's beautiful!
My physical therapist just left. I know why I've been crying all week now. My legs are all in a mess! My upper arms and back are all twisted up and my upper chest, lower back and hips are all "balled" up with so many cramps! She found so many new cramping spots that I've never had in the 4 years that I've had her! Not good! She wanted to know what had happened to get me in this kind of a mess! I told her! As always I was told to do my best to not be stressed and upset! I wish it was that easy! Of course she understands, she's not a doctor that can just bark orders at me and expect me to get it done that instant! She's more of a human! She understood why I have been crying all week! She said she would have been also! The only thing that I can do for this mess of a body, is what I have been doing...so I've been doing the right things. Which is good to hear for once! It's so nice to hear something good about you every once in awhile! See, I am a good person after all! I want one person to walk in my shoes for one week, and then let me know if I'm creepy or not!

My husband and I talked last night. He told me that he gets his bonus check today. But, he gave me the list of people to buy for and then told me that I have $450.00 to spend. I am grateful for that much. So I really have to try as hard as I can to make that stretch! He works his butt off, we live week by week. And I live month by month from my check. I'd have to say that this year has been the worst ever. I have a friend that has it a lot worse then I do as well, her husband just got laid off. :o( Why is it that the people that work their butts off, are the ones that get kicked while they're down? Why? And the ones that can just go out and buy what ever they want and when ever they want and have money handed to them, without working their butts off, have it made? How is that? And boast about it! The only difference that I see is that I don't go to church. Thats it!
Moving on.................

Sorry....but just really need to talk things out this morning! And I'm tired of holding back,and keeping things bottled up inside me! It's not good or healthy for me to do that!
I'm tired of people justifying what they do on either because "if you went to church," "If you weren't a mean spirit," " If you weren't a lier," if believed in the way we do," "if you didn't love money so much!" Thats the kicker! And I'm pretty sure God wouldn't say that! In the end, you'll have to meet your maker too!

I've already taken out a loan this year, and I'm paying on that. Which is where most of my check is going to right now. I'll talke to my husband and see if I can take another one out again. I don't know what else to do. I keep my faith and keep praying! Nothing will stop that! God does bless us all everyday in some way!