Please...can you all bare with me? I'm sorry for all of this mess.

Good morning! I was able to get through my email alot quicker this morning. :o)

I'm so sorry about my entries lately. I'm sure no one wants to hear all of this, but writing about it has really been helping me out alot, and trying my best to be able to sort things out as well. <sigh>
Just bare with me.
Well...I was pretty dizzy all day yesterday, but not as I was in the morning. But again, this morning when I woke up, I was having room spins. ggrrr! I just layed there. I prayed. I thanked the Lord for another day. :o) Then I was able to sit up holding on to my bed rail. My night wasn't very good at all. I urinated myself twice. Geesh! I had a very hard time cleaning myself up in the middle of the night, and some time in the morning! :o( I was dizzy...so that made it so hard to do. I'm the only one down stairs. But I managed. When I was able to stand all the way up, I grabbed my walker and went to the kicthen to make my coffee and to also look for "puppy messes."

I let him out side so he could do his thing. So far, I didn't find anything! Yes! He was a good puppy! I praised him for being a good boy! :o) I've got to get some phot's of him, he is really a cutie! :o)

Last night, I could believe that I was able to talk to my husband again! There's been days when all we've said to each other is hi, and bye! He came in my room and aske me if I wanted to talk about anything! Wow! Of course I took advantage of that! :o) Heck yeah I wanted to talk! My son was making dinner and my daughter's boy friend and my husband both were watching my grandson until my daughter got home from collage. So, everyone was busy. Except for me, I was sitting in my bed with the heating blanket on trying to make my hips and legs feel better and watching 42nd Street! :o) Me and my old movies! :o) Gotta love'em! :o)
My daughter came home. My husband came back in here and said that he had a few things he had to do and would be back in. I just sat there in my mouth had to have been on the floor....but, not only in disbelief, I felt like he wanted to hear me out, and he wanted to talk to "me!" And not just the chitchat stuff either!
I waited.
He did come back. He asked me how it was coming along with finding a place for assisted living. I told him that I was looking them up on the computer first, then I would make the phones calls to set up appointments. He had an odd look on his face. He asked me if I knew what assisted living places really are. I told him that you're not alone, and if you need help, someone will be there 24/7, and you have a little appartment with a stove fridge. and all the things you need. A least thats what I read on their web sites I found. He told me that for my age, they are nursing homes, but not as strick as the ones with the elderly. And he doesn't want me in something like that. I said then something HAS to be DONE in this house for ME! I do for others...no, not a pity party, and not tooting my own horn here, it's just that I've always put my needs and myself on the back burner, and I can't do that anymore and I need to stand up for myself and thats whats blowing his mind a bit! He told me how much he loved me. I said if he loved me then why am I PUT in this room? And it isn't safe for me at all. And why not help me with the video for the extreme home make over, and stop with these stupid excusess! He said that there isn't any room to build on to this house...I said then they'll have to build up then! I'm on a mission, and I told him that he isn't going to stop me with trying to help myself! I told him that all they can say is no. It's not like I haven't heard that before. And it's not like I've never gotten any help from others as well!
He told me that he sees me slowly dying. And it hurts him to see this. Well, I'm doing the best that I can to prolong it...because I know I am too, but I want to live long then what the doctors say! I walk around in my house to try and keep my muslce mass from going. I do the best that I can to help me!
There was more, but my hands are cramping up. :o) So I really want to thank you for your supportive emails and commnents.....God bless all of you! Please...Always say a prayer! God hears you! :o)

Tags: love, ineed of love, assisted living, fibromyalgia