Sunday, December 24, 2006
Where ever this may leed
Good Morning! :o) I hope that all is well today. :o) I want to thank Barbara and Michelle for the Christmas cards! :o)
I also want to explain a few things. In the last entry that I wrote, I said that I give up. I give up on anymore tests, and anymore medicines. My reasons; Like my doctor told me, there isn't anymore medications out there for me to help with my pains, and everytime that I've been put on something new, I end up with a new problem, as in a new illness...etc. I don't want to live this way for the rest of my life. I'm not able to take anything for the osteoporosis, or the osteoarthritis, because he said it damages my esophigus. So, thats out of the question. There is nothing that can be done for my spine, I have to live with it the way it is. Thats, that. With God's support, I will. :o)
Plus, the tests that I have left that are for me to go through, are for my throat. I've decided not to go through them. Because I now know why my throat is closing. Because of my dentures not fitting me the right way. In which, I have also found out that I have even more damage that has been done to my face and jaw and mandilla, all because of the dentures. So, it would be a waste of my time, when I already know the "why." So, instead of going to all of this long and unnecessary testing that is hard on me and makes me hurt worse, I'd much rather stay home and rest.
I'm still a fighter! :o) And with all of the medications, I'm going to go back and take my herbs and vitamins! Thats what I used to do, and I was so much better off then, and thats what I would like to be now. :o) No more useless medications that are causing me more grief then I need. Of course, it's not like I'm going to go cold turkey or anything like that. I know how to do the medicines and slowly go off of them. I'm only on 1 that my body is addicted to, and will take about 2-3 weeks to fully get out of my system. Plus, I can work with my doctor as well. :o) With what he said to me this week, I'm sure he will help me do this. :o) So, I'm not giving up on life, or anything like that! No way! I don't have that in me! :o) My instinct in me is to fight something, more then to just lay down and take it! I remember when I was very young, like around 2, I had a doctor that nicked named me "Tiger!" LOL Because I would always fight him off! :o) And I haven't changed! LOL Now the word tiger has changed to the word b**h...lol, and oddly enough, I'm glad, because the doctors see that I'm not a quiter, I'm a fighter! lol :o)
I want to be an inspiration! :o) I want to help those out there that read this jouranl. :o) And, remember, What you do read...is me! :o) I don't "candy coat" anything! :o) I think the reason is, because I don't like to have things candy coated to/for me! :o) I want to know the truth about everything that is told to me. And thats just black and white! :o) I do my very best to do the same in this journal, and I do hope that I am doing it for you! :o)
Welll, need to go. ;o) Thank you all for your supportive emails and comments! :o) God bless all of you! :o)
Saturday, December 23, 2006
The second real meaning of Christmas ( a joke )
The second real meaning of Christmas
Twas the Day After Christmas
Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurting-- even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.
Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, while
Upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
Went into the kitchen and started to clean.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said "U.S. POSTMAN."
With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:
"Now Dillard's, now Broadway's, now Penny's and Sears
Here's Levitz's and Target's and Mervyn's -- all here!!
To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall,
Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!"
He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.
Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
"ENJOY WHAT YOU GOT ... YOU'LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!
Twas the Day After Christmas
Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurting-- even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.
Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, while
Upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
Went into the kitchen and started to clean.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said "U.S. POSTMAN."
With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:
"Now Dillard's, now Broadway's, now Penny's and Sears
Here's Levitz's and Target's and Mervyn's -- all here!!
To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall,
Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!"
He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.
Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
"ENJOY WHAT YOU GOT ... YOU'LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!
I've been tagged....Again! LOL
I was tagged by Guido
"The Rules:
The player of this game starts with "3 things he/ she would love to get for Christmas" and also has to list "3 things he/ she definitely does not want to get for Christmas".
Then he/she tags 5 friends and list their names.
The ones who get tagged need to write on their blogs about their Christmas wishes, as well as state this rule clearly, then tag 5 more victims.
And the one who tags needs to leave a comment that says "you've been Christmas tagged!" in their comments and tell them to read your blog."
What do I want for Christmas?
-Peace in everyone's hearts
-For everyone to know what Christmas is truly about and what we are celebrating.
-The strength needed to cope every minute of the day, to get through my days.
What do I NOT want for Christmas!
-Drama
-Sadness
-No peace
Now I'm going to tag;
Lisa Jo
Lisa41076
Friday, December 22, 2006
~Emails~
I don't remember who it was that want me to put a few of the supportive emails that I do recieve on my journal. I don't think that I was believed. I don't care if I was or not. But here is one of them, and I left out the name because I don't have his permission yet to use it.
Lisa, please remember the devil is also real and he puts the greatest fear in us all and that is doubt.yes i know your physical pain is so very real and it hurts like hell but he's not after our body's but he want's our soul's.so never doubt GOD love's us so very much that he gave us these earthly vessel's but our spirit's we shall surely soar to the heaven's with and that is the greatest gift to us all that belive in the LORD JESUS CHRIST AMEN.Keep the faith and your reward is not of any treasure here on earth but in heaven.
Now...This is the second one I've recieved this morning! This is why I thank everyone for their supportive emails! :o) Because I do get them!
I don't know how this entry will turn out
I had a doctors appointment yesterday morning to see my family doctor and a follow up on my blood work. I also had a few questions for him as well. My blood work all came back great! Thats the good news. :o) Very glad to hear that! 
I wanted to ask him about the osteoporisis. And if there was anything for it. Well, yes there is, in fact, alot of things...but, they all will damage my esophagus! So, to me, there is nothing. Thats ok. I also wanted to ask him about Thrush again. My mouth is burning once again! :o( ggrrr! I just don't get it! 
Plus, I can only open my mouth so far on my right side and it's not very far at all. I have to squeeze a sandwich together as much as I can just to fit it in my mouth! He looked in my mouth. No, I do not have thrush again! Whew! Well, I thought that was such good news! I wish I would have had it! What I do have is something that has to do with the mucus in my mouth!
Why? Because of my dentures that do not fit! Plus, the TMJ that I already know I had...is deforming my FACE!!!! :o( The joint of my jaw on my right side is already damaged! :o( My mandilla is already damaged! :o( And my left jaw is on it's way to being just like my right one! :o( Then I won't be able to open my mouth at all! :o(
Oh yes....everytime I've seen my dentist, I've told him how my dentures do NOT fit me right, and I told him that when I got them! But....He agrues with me! Doesn't he think that I should know? I've had them for 3 years now and thats why my face is so bad! :o( I had a feeling something was going wrong, because of my breathing and a few other things that were different! :o( Thankfully my doctor got right on his cell phone yesterday, and called a friend of his that is a ortho and will take my insurance! I don't know how many times I thanked him for doing that for me! Because if I were to try and call, no one would take me in as fast! My doctor said it's that bad, and it needs to be taken care of asap! :o(
So....I found out so much yesterday. The only good news that I had was my blood work was great! And thats it! I also have to start using my electric wheel chair now. :o( My lower back, hips and legs are and have gotten much worse. :o( So, I will do my best to clean up toys around here so I'll be able to use it. They just need to be put in their place, where they belong.
I told my mom yesterday that this is it! My doctor also told me that there are no more medicines for me to help with my pains or really anything else, because I've either been on them or tried them all. But, I'm not going to go through anymore of this! No more tests, no more anything! All I get done doing is cry and pray for strength! I'm just so very tired.
And the extreme home make over....yes, it would be such a blessing if it could truly happen....but to get my husband on the camcorder...yea right! I can't do it! So, there goes that down the drain! And yes, this house does need to be made over so I can live better in it with my wheel chair! :o( Life would be so much easier if others would/could help, but if they won't, what can I do about it? Thats what I want for Christmas....my medical needs met! I know, thats a laugh! :o(
And my daughter....I don't know what's going on there with her and her boy friend. It seems that she doesn't talk to me much anymore about really anything! :o( And that hurts! :o( I don't know whats going on. Why I'm hurting so badly? Because I feel that when you go and help and help and help and it takes from you....and then it's all turned around to where what ever happens or is said...it suddenly is YOUR FAULT??? HOW AND WHY???? I just don't get it? Yes...my heart is hurting pretty bad right now! :o( Over everything that I've talked about in this entry! It's all about, "WHY?" And to that, I say, "I'm done with it all!"
God bless all of you!
