Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Amazing how pain runs your life!

Well, I got up way too early this morning. 2:00 a.m.! :o( You see, it doesn't matter how tired or sleepy you are, what seems to matter is the pain you are in. Thats what controls my life. It's so amzing how that works.

Yesterday, I did some more work on the house. My husband was home, so he helped me with a few things. I did things that consisted of putting things away while being able to sit down. My son and daughter have helped me so much! :o) Actually, there's not that much more that needs to be unpacked. YAY! It's just putting it away thats the hardest. My back hurts so badly. I feel like crying. My feet still hurt the same. My left leg and knee cap are the worst, besides my back. If I wouldn't have fallen, I'd be in a little less pain right now. Gee...I wonder what woke me up?! PAIN! I'm having a few spasms in my neck, shoulders, legs, and my arms. My eyes are even hurting a little worse. It hurts to move them. Eye drops do not help. None of my medicines are helping anymore. Something I have to live with. I did, however, find new information yesterday morning on why my jaw bone had been swollen. I'm going to print it out, and take it to my doctor. I'll let my dentist know as well. This morning I'm going to go with my daughter to her doctor. I hope she has gained weight. To me, it appears that she has. :o) I'm doing my best! :o)

I'm doing my best....is all I can do with my life. :o)

Monday, November 29, 2004

Now what do I do?

Ok...I finally was able to take a real good look at my left leg last night. I had time to sit down to rest long enough. OMG! I think I should have went to have it checked! Who knew? I'm in so much pain as it is, I had no idea that it looked as bad as it did. My thigh is very swollen, there is some kind of fluid on top of my knee cap. :o( My ankle and foot are swollen as well. Both of my knee caps are still going out of place, so I never thought my left knee was that bad. It only hurt just a little above my "normal" pain. My back....well, boy does it really hurt! I would say it is in exacerabation right now. My shoulders and my arms are really hurting. I'm sure it has to do with my back as well. This pain seems to be never ending. I found my pain chart yesterday. I read it, and realized that I've been bouncing between an 8 and 9! Not a good thing. A 10 is were you can no longer funtion properly, and are crying with the pain. I just don't know what to do anymore. This is just my life. No matter how I feel when I get up, I still have my life to live. Pain or more pain. I don't have a choice in this matter.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

I rested.

Yesterday, I rested. I didn't put anything away. I couldn't. I took a short nap to try to get my body back to were it isn't hurting so bad. I woke up way too early this morning. Thats going to make it a long day for me now. :o( Today, I have to start back up with unpacking, and putting away. You would never in a life time ever think that your body could be in so much pain at one time. It is. I'm very grateful that my friend has come over to help me. If not, I wouldn't be as far as I am now, on unpacking. Thank you! :o) I thought that I would have had more help, I did when I had to pack. Oh well. I don't give a shit anymore. So, if I hear that I'm not suppose to "do that," then you help me it, or shut up!  I'm too tired to hear those things, and too tired to deal with it.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Ok....I think I was asking for too much yesterday!

Ok...I had more than my fair share of pain yesterday! And then some! I got up this morning barely able to walk. Today, I have to listen to my body. Both knee caps are deciding to go out of place this morning. Just praying that they both don't do it at the same time. Today, I'm hoping that I can stay with this thought, I'm going to just unpack boxes that just say, "Lisa's desk." :o) I can sit for that. I know I really have to tend to my left leg today. I should have had it checked. Too late now. Now I have 2 bad legs. Falling is one of the things that happens to me with having this fibromyalgia. Then the rest just happens on it's own. :o(

Friday, November 26, 2004

How about not too much pain today? Ok?

I'm in one of the most painful times in my life, with this horrid disease. It feels like someone took each and every vertabra in my back, and knocked them all out of their order! I feel like I broke my back! It hurts that badly. My legs aren't doing very well either. But, they never really have felt that great for awhile. My left leg is really killing me! It is hurting from my hip, all the way down to my foot. I have to use my walker now, all the time. I have to depend on it all the time once again. :o( I will probably have to until this leg gets better. It's still swollen a bit, but not as much as it was. My knee cap seems more lose than before. It keeps coming out of place more than ever, and more then my "bad" knee! Not a good thing. I can hardly get my arms up past my chest area. My arms and shoulders are in a lot of pain as well. The bottoms of my feet are still really hurting. The only way that I can describe the feeling of it is, like I have marbles taped to the bottoms of my feet. Then try walking on them all day. And then add on all the pain that they are already in. OUCH! This is just my life. I have this for some reason, and I have to just live with it. There's nothing I can do now. Except to pray. And I do. I tried to get some laundry done yesterday, at the old house. I came back here, and unpacked a few more boxes. No...we didn't get to have a "Turkey day." I wasn't able to do any cooking at all this year. I can do it another day, I feel. We just gave thanks to having a new and better home for us.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

What a fool I can be! LOL

Ok....I am in the one of the worst pain that I have been in a awhile. It has been raining here for a fewdays in a row. Plus, we have been moving as well. On Tuesday, my daughter and I stayed at a Hotel with a hot tub in the room. Boy did that feel good on my back! :o) I stayed in that thing for as long as I could! :o) Then yesterday, I had went to the old house to pick up the dog, and I was coming out of the house and to my car. I did it...I fell because of all the mud! I had a feeling that I would, because of all the rain, and how muddy our old yard gets. Down I went, landing on my left knee, and my lower leg bending towards the left! A way that a leg isn't suppose to do! OUCHIE! My knee went out of place again, and I had to just lay there until I could get my knee cap back in place. Then my husband picked me up and put me in my car. I have some pretty bad pain in my hip and thigh as well. Plus, when I landed, I tried to catch myself with my left hand..lol. Can't be done! So....my left arm hurts as well. Shooting sharp pain going down to my foot and then back to my knee. I don't think I broke anything this time. The last time I fell, I broke my right ankle last year. Whew! But, the good news is....no more packing!!! YAY! Now the unpacking. :o) Wish me luck.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Just another day.

Yesterday was just another day. It seemed to just drag on and on. :o( My son moved almost all the boxes over to the new house. There are still so much to get moved. I went over to the new house to take before and after photo's. I couldn't stay long, because of my feet hurting. I still don't know what it is. Or what to do about it. They are getting much worse now. My left foot will go numb on me. Oh well. I suppose thats all I have to say. Everytime I write in this journal about having fibromyalgia, and tell what is going on with me, and ask if anyone else has the same problems, no one will answer. So, I am assuming it's just me then, right?

Sunday, November 21, 2004

YaY! Sleep! :o)

I finally was able to get some sleep last night! :o) I was able to get 7 hours! YESSS! My body really needed that! Well, I took it real easy yesterday. My feet were really giving me fits all day yesterday! I've never had anything like this. I don't know what to do about it. I have more little muscle cramps on the bottoms of my feet. At least I think thats what it is. I don't know. But it hurts so bad, it's very hard to walk! Does anyone else have this? I'd like to know, and what do you do about it? With all of the other pain I have, and on top of all of that my feet hurting like they do, it makes it hard to even concentrate. I was able to get a little over an hour nap in yesterday. That helped somewhat. But, I woke up with a headache and a backache, so, that didn't help the pain. Geesh! And that wasn't the fibromyalgia pain. Just "normal" pain. What ever that is anymore.

My husband told me that the kitchen has been painted yesterday. :o) They are still working on the electrical wiring, and the plumbing for the new mini bathroom down stairs. The plumbing has taken longer then expected. Thats just our luck. :o) My daughter told me that she is going to be coming up on Monday, after her appointment with her doctor. :o) YAY! It's about time! So I have that to look forward to tomorrow! :o)

Saturday, November 20, 2004

There's always someone out there that seems to know everything!

I woke up this morning, again, too early. Oh...by the way..this is to "FullaBalony", If I have a letter out of place like htis (this), I have long nails, and my fingers do go a little faster then they should, so, please restrain yourself from making fun of me and putting a label on me. I'm sure I'm not the only one that does this. There's always someone out there that has to think they are above everyone else, and can make fun and laugh at their expense.

Today is going to be very busy. We are going to start moving everything in the new house. :o) YAY! I can't wait! So, in just a few days, we should be all moved, finally. A day I couldn't wait for. Still....my feet are really killing me. Both of them now. I don't know what to do about them. I still have those little muscle lumps in my rib area, and big muscle cramps in my thighs again. I didn't do anything yesterday, so I could be rested enough for today. And still have these stupid problems. My feet will get numb as well. Thats something new. I do have one more box to pack. That I can do. I'm so glad the rest of it all is done! Whew! I'll try to get a nap in early today, so I can help my husband and son. Thankfully, my room is in the back of the house, so it won't bother everyone else that will be here. Well, I need to get some coffee, so I'm done for now. One more thing...THIS IS TO EVERYONE ELSE THAT READS THIS JOURNAL, IF I DO MAKE A MISTAKE IN MY WORDING, OR SPELLING......SO WHAT! Thank you.

Friday, November 19, 2004

A grea time. :o)

Yesterday morning didn't start out very well. Getting up too early is hard on me. I took a nap, and it helped. When I got up, my son had laready been home, and was coming back from the new house with the vacuum. He got off of wrok at 1:00. Shortly afterwards, my husband came home. Then we went over, and I took a few photo's with my digital. The house is so much cleaner then it was! But, there is still a bad smell were the previous owners cat sprayed. It just takes my breath away. It's even in the basement. While we were there, my best friend came over to see the house. :o) Of course, we have about the same taste, so she loved liked I do! :o) Then, after my husband installed a new kitchen faucet, we left to get something to eat. She and I were going to go get Chineese, but, Red Lobster sounded a whole lot better! :o) I have not been that full in months! Whooo! Then we went to a new store in town, where her daughter works, an animal store. They had such cute puppies! There is a bird that my girl friend is getting for Christmas, and she was able to get it out. She was holding it, well, it was walking on her. lol Then, I held it. It likes silver and gold things, so It went for my bracelets. It was a really nice and cool bird! Then I came home, and my daughter called me. She was very upset because she lost a very expensive pink diamond ring that her boyfriend got her on Sweetest Day. :o( I felt so bad for her. She thinks it might have fell off while bagging a sack for someone. It would be nice if the person that finds it, does return it for her. What a day that was! :o) It really turned out so much better then it seemed like it would. :o) The bottoms of my feet are still hurting. Of course, my back, and all of the above. But, I got to get out of this house!!!! YAY!!! It was so nice!

Thursday, November 18, 2004

.....oh well.

Well....this morning I got up a little too early again. Which will make for a long day for me. My feet really seem to be one of the worst pain I've been having. I've never experianced this one before. Again, what do I do for them? I have no idea. My sides have little muscle lumps in them as well, by my ribs. As well as all of the usual pain I have, my back, shoulders, front of shoulders, legs, knees, and my arms. The only thin I know to do is to just sit here. I'm trying to take care of my feet by keeping them up, and trying to stay off of them. I'm trying to stay painless for the big move. How? I already feel useless. Just sitting around and not doing anything isn't good for you. And I hate it! Oh well. Thats my life with this horrid disease.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Please, don't take anything for granted!

Yesterday, I didn't pack, or do much of anything. I couldn't. I was in too much pain. I now really have to listen to my body. I wasn't told anything about this fibromyalgia, and what to do. Yesterday morning, my bottoms of my feet hurt so bad, I couldn't put any weight on my right foot. Of course, the usual was hurting as well. Plus a new place on my left side, near my ribs. I think that the most grosses thing about having this disease is, you can feel the tiny or big muscle "balls." When they are on the bottoms of your feet, and you go to step down on them, you're stuck. I'm not able to hop. That would be a sight to see. :o) Last night, and the night before, I did get 5 hours of sleep! YAY! My husband went over to the new house last night to clean. I felt so useless. Thats my job. I haven't been able to do very much to help in this move at all. His mom called last night, and she and her sister and her girls are going to go over and help clean for us. That was so sweet of them. :o) That will help my husband out so much. My son and his girl friend went over and cleaned out the garage, so we can start putting a few things in there. Here I sit. I would love to be able to clean my new home. I have the keys, and I'm not able to do anything, or even go over there right now. Thats my life.

Monday, November 15, 2004

Bad day.

Yesterday wasn't a very good day at all. I didn't get any sleep to start out with. Which means that I was in a lot of pain. This packing is really making me hurt pretty badly. Then, my physical therapist came, and told me that she can no longer come over! She said because that I showed some improvement! I have, but now, I'm having troubles again. Then while she was here, I got sick, and had to get to the bathroom as fast as I could! I still need her. The medicines I'm on, are not helping me at all! She does. Thats my life. She did say if I get any worse, I could call her again. uummmm, yea, I'm still the same! Then the rest of the day, we had to pack my room. Of course, my husband helped me. It's done, except for a few things I have on my desk. Just one day, it would be nice to have a full day to where nothing bad happens. I'll just have to stay as positive as I can, and go from there.

Sunday, November 14, 2004


I was able to get some sleep! What a great feeling that is. :o) My back, legs and arms are hurting. I'm sure it's all from the packing. My physical therapist is coming this morning, so I'll know what type of pain I'm having. :o) I finally got an email from my daughter yesterday. She's doing fine. I can't wait until she can move up here. :o) My best friend came over yesterday, for the first time in weeks! lol We both have this same nasty cold thing, and it has kept us both down and out. It was good to see her. :o) Thats it.

Friday, November 12, 2004

.....what happened?

Ok...I'm up again way too early! :o( I got up at 1:00! I just don't get it. I was able to pack only one box yesterday. Again, I started to over heat. What is with thie fibro stuff? It starts on the back part of my neck, and just esculates! It litterally makes me sick to my stomach! I have to sit in front of a fan for almost an hour, everytime this happens! Does everyone else out there that has fibromyalgia experiance this too? Oh well...thats life for me!

Much better now! :o)

I've had 3 good night's of sleep! YAY! Which makes me feel better. My physical therapist came yesterday for the first time in 2 weeks. She told me how much better I have gotten, even since the last time she was here! Wow! I was surprised. I was in pain, and thought it was the fibro. It's so hard to tell whats what. I only had 3 bad points! Wow! That was a first! :o) She's going to only come once a week now. I knew taking myself off of all of those medicines would help me! It has! My daughter came up yesterday to go job hunting. :o) I think she already found a job! They will call her this week. I'm so happy! I worry about her so much. With her here, then I can take care of her and the baby. :o) Thats all for now!

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

......I will get sleep!

Again, I got up way too early! I got up at 3:00 a.m. This will be another long day. My daughter is suppose to come up and spend the night. She is coming up here to look for a job. YAY! :o) My mom finally called me yesterday. Well, I should say she had my sister call me on my mom's cell, to let me know some good news about my sister. I'm confused. I needed to ask my mom a question, and I actually talked to her. Then she hurt my feelings, by saying to me, "Now don't go and tell your other sister!" Yea right! Like I even talk to her! Like I would have in the first place?! Thanks mom! Geesh! Not getting any sleep, is really making my fibro stuff act up big time. I can hardly walk all over again. Plus, I'm having a hard time helping to pack. I was able to pack two boxes yesterday. I got way over heated, and had to stop. Oh well....this is my life! Sucks!

Tuesday, November 9, 2004

.......up too early.

Well, I was able to get a few hours of sleep yesterday morning. That helped out some. I'm still in pain. I had to call off my physical therapist now for the second week! :o( I really need her right now. I took a very hot shower, to try to sweat out this cold. It didn't make me feel any better. :o( Nothing has been helping. I put the head up on my bed, to try to help on my coughing. I had to put the foot part up last night, because my legs were going to town on me! :o( I still coughed all night long, until I got up at 3:45! :o( Oh well. It just means for a long day for me. I'll try again to get some more sleep today.

Monday, November 8, 2004


I went to bed at 9:00 last night, because of this stupid cold!!!!!! I'm still sick, and I again, had to call off my physical therapist!!!!! NOT HAPPY! Still NO sleep!!!! I'm going to try to stay in bed today! With no sleep, and not having my physical therapist here in two weeks....you better believe I'm in a lot of pain! If anyone needs me today....leave a message on the machine!

Sunday, November 7, 2004

Sometimes I feel I'm not going to get rid of this cold!

Well....I still have this horrid cold. It used to be when I got a cold or the flu, it would take 7 to 10 days! Not anymore! It's 2 to 3 weeks, at best! My immune system must be pretty bad. Geesh! It's been two weeks since I've been able to have my physical therapist come over. And I really need that! All I did yesterday was rest. I took a nap, and tried to feel better. But now it's in my chest! Blah! I could barely even walk. I don't need to even say what hurts on my body....my whole body is in pain! My legs and my feet have been swelling. :o( My husband told me that I should have them above my heart! Then I told him, then I should have my body, from my neck down, above my heart too! :o) lol It looks swollen too! lol But, I have had them up. I did, however, get the second set of photo's back yesterday! They are ones I took of my daughter and her boy friend when they were here! :o) She looks so cute! And so skinny! :o( She's now 11 weeks along! She has a little bump that shows! :o) Well....gotta go!

Another.....what a day I had! lol :o)

Boy...yesterday was a long day for me! My body was telling me to ssslllloooowwwww down! This time I had to listen! :o) I had no choice. Which was fine with me. I still have this cold. :o( Well...being out in the night air on Friday night, I think brought it all back. It was worth it though! I felt bad, because my husband was doing all of the packing in the kitchen yesterday. I couldn't do one thing to help him. I wasn't able to stand up for very long again. Even using my walker. I had to sit down on it, if he asked me in there to see something. Then, back in here. It's still hard for me to just "not" do anything. It's still in my soul, to just jump up and go, move, do something, anything but to sit or lay around. It takes a lot of self talk to get through a day. I'm still having a problam with this stupid cold. I finally found something that I think might work. Robitusson cough syrup. It seemed to help me last night. YAY! :o) I haven't heard a responce back yet from my letter I sent to my daughter. She was probably sick, and tired when she got off of work last night. She has no legal ties to stay down there, where she is. I wish she would just come up here to live for her health, and the baby's health. My husband and I were talking about this last night, and are very worried. :o( Nena....for your health, and the baby's health. Listen to your gut instinct! YOU are very right!

Saturday, November 6, 2004

What a night! :o)

Last night, my daughter and her boy friend came up for a visit. :o) She was going to spend the night, because we had plans to go shopping! Her boy friend came this morning to pick her back up. I had a blast last night! lol I have so much fun with her! :o) Well, we both have so much fun together! :o) I wanted to by her a pair of maternity pants, and some baby things. :o) I origianlly wanted to get her a baby book. I couldn't find any! I will have to look in the next town to us. We don't have many stores here. But, we had fun looking at all the baby things! Things sure have changed since I had my children! lol Prices too! :o) I bought her a pack of new born t-shirts, a night gown to bring the baby home in, and a little lamb finger puppet! The baby's last name will be Lamb! :o) And a pair of after bath slippers! I had too, they were just too cute! lol Boy, we both were worn out by the time we were done. I got home, and felt as if I was going to just drop. Litterally! I changed into my night clothes, and tried to watch a movie with her, but I couldn't. I had to go to bed at that moment. So I did. Today, I'm in so much pain. :o( I really pushed my self way too far this time. But, it was all worth it. :o)

Friday, November 5, 2004

ditto. :o(

Last night, my back was hurting so badly, it felt as if someone was pushing a knife in me! It was hurting so bad! :o( The "knife" pain, in my opinion, is the worst pain in my back that I can have. It just takes my breath away. I went to bed at 9:00 last night. I felt so exhausted. It just cames on real fast. The next thing I remember is, doing things in my sleep again! I even got out of bed, and started to sleep walk! :o( That is so dangerous for me. Well, it was before all of this fibro stuff happened too. But, my knees have been going out of place, and I've been falling, and the way my back feels, it would give out, if I didn't use my walker. My legs are so weak. I feel like I'm at least 95 years old! I even rested yesterday. It just doesn't matter when it comes to this fibromyalgia. It seems to get you know matter what. Getting up at 3:30 this morning is going to make for a long day for me. Great! Just what I need!

Thursday, November 4, 2004

too much pain. :o(

Yesterday, I did it again. I went to the grocery store to get things for vegetable soup. Luckly as I was getting out of the car, my husband drove up. He has been having to come home early. His boss has taken his over time away, and he used to go into work at 4:00 a.m. , and get home at 5:30. Now, he goes to work at 6:30, and can come home like yesterday, at 2:30! This is really hurting us finacially! But, The stupid president got re-ellected, so I can see that this will be a normal thing now! Because we aren't rich! Yes, my whole body hurts like hell! My fault. If I had known that he would have been home when he did, I wouldn't have went to the store. Too late now. I'm still sick. That means, AGAIN, I will have to call my physical therapist to let her know I'm still sick, and then she can't come. :o( I really need her help right now. I guess thats all for right now.

Wednesday, November 3, 2004

Getting better.

Yesterday was a bad day for my fibro. The cold that I have flared it up! Great!!!! At least now, the cold just isn't in my head and sinuses now! It's in my chest, too!!! YAY! Fun fun! Add on a full day of nothing but rain to all of this too! That always helps! This has really set me back. I'm so weak, and with my knees going out of place, I fall! My back is killing me. My hips, my arms, well, just say now that my whole body is in PAIN! Yesterday, in my muscles, if anyone has ever had a TENS unit on them, thats what I was feeling in my legs and my arms all day yesterday!!! On top of all of the other pain, then add that...OUCH! I'm going to put a little sign on the front door, that will read; "If you're sick, go home!" Sad that I would have to do that. You'd think some people would have the common sence to stay home! One thing that I made sure I did yesterday, was to vote! If I had to crawl, I would have. The rest of the day, I was in bed. I'm really trying to get rid of this shit, so on Thursday, I can have my physical therapist come over to massage me. But, since I've been sick, that takes away from me as well!!!!!! Thanks again! :o(

Tuesday, November 2, 2004

I'm going to have to stay in bed today! :o(

Again.....I got up at 2:30 this morning! Not a good thing here!!!! I am so sick, I again had to call off my physical therapist! Thats not a good thing either! I don't know how many times I have to stress to people that having fibromyalgia makes me more suseptable to many more viruses!!! IF YOUR SICK.....STAY HOME!!! And away from me!!! I'm in so much fibro pain, plus, add on a very bad cold! Not a good time! :o( I just wish that others could walk in my shoes for just five minutes! Thats all it would take!

Monday, November 1, 2004

.....Now I have a cold! Thanks!

Ok...now I have a cold! I just got over the flu. Thank you to who ever gave this to me! :o( Plus, I still have the fibromyalgia pain on top of the cold pain! Yuk! Not too overly fun here! I'm up way too early, because my right knee was killing me, and I couldn't breath. Thats one of the worst ways to wake up, from pain! I know I pray to just have my body back the way it was before all of this pain. Then I think I'm being selfish for asking such a thing. Because I'm praying to God for this, and His son went through way more then I am! But, I do know there is a reason for me to have this. I just wish I could figure it out. Thats all, I can't breath, and I'm coughing too bad to type.