Saturday, December 31, 2005

About stuff.

I had a pretty busy day yesterday. First of all, I wrote and emailed to everyone that I could think of for possibly help for any kind of a donation for my medical needs. I even wrote to my towns news paper. I got a responce back saying that she sent my letter to the reporter, and he will contact me on Monday. I don't know what that means. I asked in my letter if I should put something in the news paper. But thats all she wrote back. So I don't know. Or if it means that he will put something in the news paper for me? But I'm still not foing to stop looking or calling or writing to people. I'm very determind right now. After I was finishing up on doing that, I got a call from my daughter. She wanted me to come over and watch my grandson for a bit while she went to drop some thing off. He is still sick with a cold and she didn't want to take him out. I went over, which only takes me about 4 minutes to get there. She was gone maybe 45 minutes if that. :o) All me and my grandson did was sit and watch Seame Street! :o) He loves the show! :o) She came back, and I came home. Right whne I got in the house, the mail came, and I got my check. So, since I was still dressed and had my coat on I went ahead and cashed it and got my money orders that I needed and a few other things and come home. It took me all day to do that. But, I did go and get that cane that was on sale that I wanted and need. :o) It was a very good price, only $12.00. :o) Really good compared to most of them that were $49.99! Thats just way to high for me. When I got home, I noticed that my husband was already home, and had taken the dog and went somewhere. It was so good to know that I wasn't going to be alone for very long. :o) And I wasn't. :o) He came home right after I got my pj's back on. :o) While I was at the pharmacy getting my cane, I asked them if they knew of any kind of orginazations that could possibly help me with getting what I needed. They gave me a phone number to call a place in Dayton called Advanced Medical. It's worth a try to give them a call. :o) I didn't get much sleep tonight like I did the previous nights. 2 and a half hours. I'll just try and get a nap in some time today. My best friend and her daughter came over last night and she brought over a few of her games! :o) We played Name That Tune, The 80's Addition! Boy was that fun! lol :o) It came down to my best friend and me! lol My best friend won! :o) It was close! LOL:o) She left them here for tonight. We are having people over for New Years Eve. :o) I can't wait! My sister and her boy friend are coming too! :o) I'm going to make jello shots for eveyrone. lol I've never made them, but they sure sound good! Too bad I can't drink! LOL :o) My husabnd got a few things as well for a small type of a buffat! :o) Too bad my mom can't make it! I would love for her to be here! :o) I guess I don't know what I'll be doing first. I need to get clean sheets out because my sister and her boy friend are going to stay the night! YAY! :o) I know I need to make a list so I can make sure that I remember to get what I want to do done. :o) I'll forget if I don't. :o) I will be also making poork roast and sour kraut. I do that every year. :o)

Well, I think thats all for now. I am very sore from all of what I did yesterday. Again, if any one knows of any one or any place that would/could donate, please let me know. Or if you have any other ideas for me, please let me know. :o) I'd really appreciate it. :o) I was even going to try our mayor! :o) I still just might! :o) God bless everyone! :o)



Friday, December 30, 2005

Just stuff.

Well, as you can see, yesterday was just an up and down day for me. I have a feeling that my husband is having a hard time with what I told him about my doctors visit. I think the prescription for the scooter or a motorized wheel chair is what got to him. He knows by that, that I will be getting worse from this day on. He kept asking me all night if I was ok, and if I needed anything. He does ask me that, but it was so much more often. He also asked me how I was doing with what the doctor has told me. I told him yes, I feel very positive about it. And I asked him how he was doing with it. He just looked away, and said that he was ok, but wishes that he can get all of my needs right now for me because he said that he can see how much I need them. And it makes him feel bad that he can't help me in that way. I told him not to worry about it, that I'm ok for right now. He was as well as I was last night, very upset over the fact that we were misslead about the whirl pool tub! He said he just felt like going down to the basment with a sledghammer and smashing it! He was that upset! I told him no, just leave it alone and we will find a way to get what I need somehow. He's not taking this well at all. I'm worried about him. He has so much on his mind as it is, and he doesn't need anything more to worry about. I know that his reations are out of love for me. Because he told me so many times last night how much he loves me, and to make sure that I knew that, which of course I do. :o) I'm not going to stop trying to find a way to get the medical things that I need. I let him know that. He told me that he feels like shit because he can't offord to help me when I most need it. I was sure to let him know that he's not, and I understand why he isn't able to. I love him so much. :o) I told him that what I needed from him doesn't cost anything, and thats just for him to be here for me and to give me hugs. :o) He said that he can do that. :o)

I am still having the same pains as always. That sleeping pill did work for me last night! I got 9 hours of sleep! YAY! :o) I'm still taking the other two medicines, and so far so good with them. Whew! :o) I can tell a difference with the nerve pain one. I can now tell what pain is what. Which helps me to let the doctor know what pain is what and where it is. The other medicine is for severe pain. I can feel it start to work, but I know it has to get in my system more to take effect. Today I should be able to tell a difference. :o) I feel positive about these new medicines. :o) Because if they were going to give me any kind of side effects, it would have happened all ready. :o) And so far they've been helping me. :o) Finally! Since my doctor knows now what I really do have, he can now treat me with different meds. that will help me. :o) YAY! Maybe I need to change the title to this page? Just joking...because I still do have fibromyalgia, but with MS as well.

I suppose thats all for now. God bless you all, and gentle hugs and stay pain free today! :o) Please, all comments are welcomed, they help me through my day. :o)

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Just talking............

I've been sitting here thinking ( nothing else to do). I actually listened to someone when they told me that the whirl pool that I bought, was suppose to be a "hot tub package"! My husband and I were told that this certain store had these "packages" because it was out of season and to go out there and get one. Then, I asked where they were, and the person that told us about them showed me, and I went ahead and bought it! I put trust into this person. Now it's money wasted that we didn't have. Because it wasn't what we were told it was, it's a whirl pool tub. Which I can not use. There's a big difference in the two. I shouldn't have listened. I was also told that I would be helped getting a hot tub by someone as well. And then, once again, I put my trust in them. Wrong again! I'm just tired of having this "false hope" when someone tells me something and I actually believe it! How stupid can I be?! Especially when you know that they can do the things they tell you finacially. I don't know how many times we've helped people. And I know they've all were appreciative. But, where are people at when we need help? I don't mean to come off as being cynical, but it really does get to me. I've been doing everything in my power to try and get the medical things that I do need. And it just chaps my ass when I keep running into a brick wall! What I'd like to know is where is all this help at out there that I keep hearing about? I spent all day yesterday on so many different charity sites asking for help! I got nowhere. Even though I have prescriptions. I guess that doesn't matter. Plus, it would be a freakin' tax write off. My husband works his ass off, and we live week by week. We are struggling right now. I do want to make this clear: I am happy for those that I know that does get the help that they need. :o) Because I do know that they deserve it. It's just the ones that I know that do have the money, and choose not to help. I just really needed to get that off my chest. This is in no way to offend anyone. Ok?

I got some news this morning.............

Well....Boy did I get a lot of information about what is going on with me this morning! Finally! :o) I gave that paper that I wrote on what has been going on with me, and then I printed it out. He seen how I was, and I told him what I've been going through since the last visit. He noticed a big change in my condition. He gave me 3 new medicines to take for my pain. One is for nerve pain, and one is for my sleep, and the other is for chronic pain. He said for now they should help me until I get my proper diagonosis from a neurologist that he is sending me to. My doctor is just a primary physician and he said that he is not able to give me the diagnosis that he knows is wrong with me, only a neurologist can. So, I am to go to a new neurologist in March. He told me that fibromyalgia does not progress. Which I already know that. I have something that I knew I've had since 1994. I have progressive multiple sclerosis. But he said he wasn't able to give me that diagnosis, only a neurologist can do it for my insurance reason. I don't understand it but it does make some since in a way. He wrote me out another prescription for a scooter. He said that I need it now! I told him I know that I need It now! I'm having a big problem walking! :o( The wheel chair won't work for me anymore because of my upper muscle pain. I went to get my scripts filled, and I seen a cane that would help me as well. As soon as I get my check, I would like to go and get it while it's still on sale. :o)

Well, I've taken two of my new meds., and they are starting to affect me. I'm getting a bit dizzy, so I need to get off of here. :o) I'll updat when I can. :o) Please leave comments they do get me through my day. :o) God bless you all! :o) And stay pain free. :o)

P.S. What would be nice is if I could find someone out there that could donate a scooter and a hot tub for me. I have scripts for them both, and they would be a tax write off. If any body knows of anyone or any place, I would be so grateful. :o) Thank you! :o)

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Just to talk.....

Yesterday was just one of those days. My massage therapist came, and it still hurt like hell! Even she said with as much medication that is in my system, I shouldn't be in so much pain still! Well I agree with that! What's the use of taking them if they're not going to work? My right side seemed to be stiff/rigid. When she was working on my right leg, it was stiff and would jerk. I let her know what had happened on Friday morning with that patch. She read the ER follow up/release paper, and I'm doing exactly what it says to do. I did make an appointment with my doctor, and it's tomorrow, the soonest they can get me in. My jaw was doing that lock thing again on me all day! I still have these weird shakes. I would really like to know what is going on with me! This is all just a bit too much! I'm really worried here! My daughter came over yesterday to do her laundry. :o) My grandson wasn't feeling to well, he was having a stuffy nose. Poor thing. He was laying in my bed for a nap, and I crawled in and layed down with him. :o) When we both got up, my daughter took him and I got up and my whole body started going in this weird shaking thing! I was so bone cold! My whole body was shivering inside and out, and my teeth were actually chattering! I went and put something warmer on, and I was still that way! I just sat down and let "whatever it was" take it's course. What else was there to do? My son and daughter were in the living room and thats were I stayed too, I didn't want to be alone. After awhile, the shaking calmed down and I was feeling a bit warmer. From being extremly hot to being extremly cold is a weird feeling! Right now it's 52 out, and I'm a bit chilly! This just isn't making any sense! I'm just glad that my shildren were here with me yesterday. This is scary enough, but to be alone is frightening for me! I'm going to call my doctor today and see if there was any cancelations and get in today! Please...if anyone has had this happen to them or has any suggestions...Please let me know. I would really appreciate it. :o)

Thanks, and God bless you! And please leave a comment, it just might help me. :o)

Tuesday, December 27, 2005


I slept 5 and a half hours last night! Yesss! :o) I am still feeling the same way as I have been. I was all day yesterday as well. I'm so glad that my husband was off of work. :o) He helps me. :o) In fact, when I went to bed last night, he layed down next to me, and thats the last thing I remember! :o) That was so sweet of him. :o) I don't know when he left my bed. My dog must be worried about me too, she keeps following me around where ever I walk to, and lays beside me where I am sitting. :o) I do know that animals do sense things. She stays in bed with me. :o) My daughter dropped by to pick up the rest of their presents from Christmas. I seen my son only a few times, he was in and out a lot. :o) Thats him! :o) lol I didn't do anything at all yesterday. I still can't. My massage therapist is coming this morning. This is going to really hurt. But I know it should make me feel better. :o) I'm still having all the pain I have been. A new one started again...on my right side, near the lower part of my ribs. :o( Boy does it hurt. I still have the shaking. I wish it would go away. Oh well. Just part of my life. I was on line yesterday trying to find orginazations that donate for medical needs. No luck yet. I'm not going to give up. I truly need the 3 wheel scooter and the hot tub. Too bad I don't know of any one that could donate. I've been having a hard time walking with my walker because my legs will get weak and go out grom under me. And to use my wheel chair takes my upper body strength which I just don't have any more. The whirlpool doesn't work because the jets are too low and they don't get the areas of my body. I've been so hot the past few days. I've been wearing my summer clothes and everyone else has been cold. It's usually the other way around! :o) I get so hot that I will actually sweat! I don't know whats going on. I checked my temp. and it was ok. Maybe it's part of the Vicodin that I'm taking. All I know is that I still would never wish this on anyone! Not even my enimies! This is something horrible to go through. In my entire life, I would have never thought there was anything like this! :o( One day, I will figure this thing out. :o) I guess thats all for now. :o) God bless you and gentle hugs! :o)

Monday, December 26, 2005

Another day.......

Yesterday was such a great day! :o) It was just wonderful! :o) I couldn't have asked for a better day! :o) I had my family with me! :o) It's the most important thing to me, having my children around! :o) My mom even came! :o) She helped me finish up dinner. I couldn't have done it myself. My sister was going to come up, but her boy friend was sick so they couldn't make it. :o( I missed her being here. I got a few pictures of everyone. I also used my present...a new camcorder. :o) I want to watch what I got on it today! :o) My son and daughter made me cry...a good cry...they both gave me things that mean so much to me! :o) son said "watch, moms going to cry again!" LOL And I did! lol :o) He gave me pictures of he and his girlfriend! I love pictures because they stop time and I can always have them to look at! :o) He knows how I am about things like that! lol :o) And my daughter...I got her a bear that was for daughters. I seen it, and the verse that was on a wooden heart that had a music box, was beautiful and I had to get it for her! When she opened it, she cried, which inturn made me cry too! :o) The bear was special to me, and she read the verse and cried. We are just very emotional I guess! LOL :o) Yesterday was just a great day! :o) My best friend came over last night and we watched a movie that I've been wanting to see. :o) A great ending to my day. :o) I just was able to stay awake long enough to finish watching the movie. Whew! lol :o) I even slept 8 and a half hours last night! YESSS! :o)

I was still having a hard time getting around and with my pain as well as with the medicines I'm taking. It's been a bit difficult for me to even function normally. My ears are ringing so bad, I can't hear myself talk, I don't know if I'm talking loud enough. I feel very dissconected...My head feels like "static", if that makes since. Like static in a radio, or "the bug fights" on the t.v.! I'm still pretty shaky, and am having these jerking movements all over my body. Involentary muscle movement. Still having trouble controling my eye movements. Just a lot of things thats going on that isn't natural for me. :o( My mom seen one of my muscle lumps on my upper right arm. And she was across the room! I still have them as well. The pain is still coming back. My breathing still doesn't seem right either. It hurts my chest/rib area to laugh, but it didn't stop me from laughing, just had to hold my chest. :o) As soon as I can, I'm going to make an appointment to see my doctor. To be honest, this is kind of scary to go through and not know why.

Well...I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas! :o) I sure did! :o) Please keep comments coming! :o) God bless you! :o)

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas to all!

        _(_      _Y_      _Y_      _Y_     
       [___]    [___]    [___]    [___]    
       /:' \    /:' \    /:' \    /:' \    /:' \    /:' \
      |::   |  |::   |  |::   |  |::   |  |::   |  |::   |
      \::.  /  \::.  /  \::.  /  \::.  /  \::.  /  \::.  /
       \::./    \::./    \::./    \::./    \::./    \::./
        '='    '='     '='     '='     '='     '='

                            Merry Christmas everyone! :o)


             \ /

                                   God Bless you all! :o)


Saturday, December 24, 2005

Just an update......

Well, so far I've taken my usual medications, Benadryl, and two Vicodine's! And nothing! I can feel the pain coming back right were it left off! I honestly can't believe this! I've had all of the medicines that I'm suppose to, and take two more Vicodine's in two more hours! Plus, I'm still awake! Unbelievable! So...I'm just sitting here, in pain, and doped up! :o( I'm honestly wondering if it's worth all of this. I really don't like being this way, not having full control of my own mind, all doped up. I don't get why people would like to be this way! Good Grief! The place on my back, where the patch was has been hurting as well. The doctor just told me to put moist heat on it and the painful areas on my body. I would never wish this on anyone! My daughter called me this morning to see how I'm doing. :o) She will be going to her father's house for Christmas Eve, and will be back here tomorrow! :o) My son has been gone, and will be back tomorrow as well. :o) That means so much to me that I have my kids with me on such a holiday! :o) Even if we have to spend it in my bedroom all around my bed! lol :o)

Well....I guess I'll try again to try to get some sleep. Wish me luck. :o) God bless you all! :o)

             Happy Christmas Eve!

Not sure........

After I wrote my last entry, I still wasn't able to lay down and take a nap. As tired as I was, it just wasn't happening. I was able to get 5 hours of sleep tonight. I can slowly feel the exscrusiating pain coming back. :o( All of the medicine that was pumped into me yesterday is wearing off. Since today is the weekend, I think I'm going to have to take the Vicodine like the doctor prescribed. :o( I don't want to take it if I know I'll be alone. Taking 2 every 4-6 hours seems like a lot to me, and I know I'll be in a drugged out stupor! I don't like not being able to have control of my self. I guess thats why I never really got drunk when I used to drink, I like to have control over myself. If that makes sence? Plus, I've heard that Vicodine is very addicting. Thats the last thing I need. I know I do have to do something about this pain. It's too unreal! Besides my husband seeing how much pain I really am in, my mom seen it yesterday as well, when she took me to the hospital. My husband helped me last night to take my shower. Boy was I glad. :o) My son was home all day to help me as well. :o)

Today should be just a big rest day. I'm also hoping to get a nap in as well. The more sleep I can get, the better I should feel. The place on my upper back shoulder where that patch was still looks as if I was burnt. :o( I'm still taking the Benadryl for that.

My sister is still sick. I talked to her yesterday, and she isn't feeling any better. She is still walking to work. :o( Even though it has warmed up, it still isn't good for her while being sick. I really wish there was some way that I could help her. She's spending Christmas alone. She couldn't get anything for her kids for Christmas, so they will be with their dad. My husband and I wanted to be able to help her, but we just couldn't afford it. I feel so bad for her. :o(

Please keep the comments coming, it helps me knowing that someone understands what I'm going through. Gentle hugs and God bless you! :o)

Friday, December 23, 2005


I ended up at the emergancy room! I was having pretty bad reactions from the patch! :o( They gave me an I.V of saline and benadryl. Then they gave me two doeses of Moraphine! I'm feeling much better. Whew! I was really scared! The doctor gave me another script for Vicodine for my everyday pain. I really don't like taking them either, but, if I take them like he said to, it will help my pain so much better. But they scare me too. But I know that I won't have a reaction from them. :o) Now what I have planned for today is to do nothing at all, and get some much needed rest! :o) I really can't do much of anything any how! :o) Take care all, and God bless you! Please keep the comments coming! :o)

Too much pain......

Yesterday I was in so much far the worse that I've ever been in! :o( My doctor gave me a patch in August, after I tried the oxycotin that gave me a severe reaction. I've been afraid to use this patch. It's called Duragesic. Last night I just couldn't take the pain any more, so I had my husband put the patch on me. I went to bed, and he sat with me until I got comfirtable which took awhile. When I woke up this morning, I was having trouble breathing, and all kinds of side affects. I took it off and had my husband wash the area it was in. I'm really scared now! :o( I need help. I know I can't be alone. I'm going to try and think of someone to call. I'll update as soon as I can. God bless you.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Just one of those days...........

Couldn't sleep again...I got up at 12:30! ggggrrr! 2 hours of sleep! :o( I'll try to take a nap today. My massage therapist will be coming this morning. I know it's really going to hurt! Whew! I am very sore and hurting pretty bad right now. Thats what woke me up again. I know that yesterday was suppose to be the shortest day of the year, but for me, it seemed like it would never end. I was able to take a nap, but was still not feeling very good. I still have too much on my mind.

My best friend came over last night for just a few minutes. She stopped by to pick up her Avon. :o) My daughter called me to let me know that she is coming over today to spend the day with me! :o) I can't wait! :o)

My mom still isn't talking to me like she used to do. :o( I don't know why. :o( I'm trying my best to let her know how I am feeling, but I guess thats not enough. If I understood, it would help me a lot. But I don't. Oh well.

Today all I have planned is to spend quality time with my daughter and grandson! :o) She said that she was going to surprise me and clean the livingroom for me! And boy does it need it too! :o) That helps me out so much! :o) She really helps me out so much! :o) My son does as well, but he has been pretty busy for the past week, and I haven't seen him much. He'll pop in and give me a hug and tells me that he loves me and asks how I'm doing! :o) Then he's off again! LOL :o) And of husband is working his butt off as always. I don't see him for a very long period of time. He's a work-aholic!

Please keep the coments coming. :o) If you only knew how much they really do keep me going, maybe there would be more of them. Stay out od pain, and God bless you all! :o)

I just want to add that I told my mother who Apersonwithfibro really is. You won't be hearing anymore comments from her any more.

Just talking.

Yesterday I was in so much pain. My upper body is so swollen. Those muscle lumps are all over now. :o( They really hurt. I can only raise my arms so far, and thats it. And move them so far. This will pass. I was able to get 7 hours of sleep last night! :o)

My daughter and my grandson came over yesterday so she could do her laundry. :o) Boy, did that really cheer me up to see the both of them! :o) I was able to take a nap. I layed down with my grandson when he was napping. :o) So cozy! :o) We had such a good visit. My daughter got a phone yesterday, so now I'll be able to call her. YAY! :o)

I didn't hear from my mom yesterday. Don't know if that is good or bad. I wrote to her asking how her new job went. :o) My sister is sick, and she still had to walk to work yesterday in this cold! :o( It's a little over 2 miles and it was too cold for her to do that. She did tell me that mom baught her another winter caot. But she doesn't have any boots. When she was here visiting, I wished I could have gotten her a pair, but I didn't have the money. :o( No wonder she's so sick. While I was taking a nap yesterday, my daughter told me that my other sister had called me, and she told my daughter that she was out driving in our moms van! ggrrr! Because her car has been inpounded. Then she should be walking too! That upset me so much, I couldn't call her back because I would have not been too nice. :o( I don't mean to be that way at all, but it just hit me the wrong way, when knowing that my other sister is walking in this weather to and from work everyday! :o( She gets another coat and my other sister gets to use our mom's van! Just doesn't seem right. Especially when she doesn't work! Just out driving! gggrrr!

I hope that today will be better for me pain wise. The pain actually would make me cry yesterday it was so bad. I don't have any plans today, except to get as much rest as I can to help ease this pain. Again...back to bed I go! :o) Thank you for all of your comments! God bless you and gentle hugs! :o)

.......................................Angels speak to those who silence their minds long enough to hear.

-  Proverb

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


Wow, what a day I had yesterday! My massage therapist came yesterday morning....OMG! Boy this was the most painfull massage yet! Whew! Those two new muscle lumps that I found, she was massaging, and the first one I actually screamed so loud, and I almost hit her! I've never done that one before! She usually holds my hand because she knows I hurt when she does this so I have somthing to squeeze. This time she had to use both of her hands and I had nothing to hold on to but my bed cover and that wasn't enough! I cried so bad. I got 2 hours of sleep last night because of the lump that is on my upper chest, (the one that really hurt) was hurting me all night. I'll try to get a nap in today. :o)

After that, my husband called me to tell me some good news! :o) He got his bonus check! It wasn't what it was suppose to be, but I went shopping with my best friend last night and I got everything! YAY! :o) I'm proud of myself for being able to get what was needed on the limited budget! :o) husband got me a Christmas present as well! A new camcorder! :o) I can't wait to use it! Now I can record my grandson! :o) So now I am done with shopping already! LOL :o) That was so much fun! :o) Today my daughter does her laundry here. She doesn't have a phone, so I'm not able to call her to see if she will be coming today or not because of how cold it is. Right now it's 1 degrees! bbbuurrr!

It appears that there might have been a "missunderstanding" with someone that rights comments in my journal. My sister and I know "her" very well, and she does write "the things that I say." So, everything is fine, I certainly don't mind at all what she writes. :o) I want to thank "her" for all of "her" support! :o) "She" knows about the situation that my sister and I are going through very well.

I want to thank you for all of your comments, keep them coming, they really do help me get through my day! :o) Everyone's comments! :o) Stay warm and God bless you! :o)

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Worn out.

I had another great day yesterday! :o) I was just so worn out. But it was a good "worn out" way! :o) I was so exhausted from having so much fun! :o) My neice and nephew had to leave early. :o( Soon after, my mom came over. One of the first things she said was, so what questions do you want answered? My sister was still here and was upset. So I let her talk to our mom first. She really needed to get it all out. Then we talked a bit, but not very much. But I got out why I was so upset and what started it all. So, it's over now. Whew! If she listens about her friend, I hope. But like I told her, it's a life lesson that she will have to live with. Which is true. After that, I asked if they would make my bed for me. And they did! :o) I felt so nice to get in a soft freshly made bed! :o) Thank you guys! :o) Then my mom had to take my sister back home. :o( My best friend came over as well. :o) We were talking and all of the sudden I got that feeling if I didn't get to my bed, I wasn't going to make it there...I got that tired all of the sudden! So I had to excuse myself and get to bed.

I got up this morning at 12:30! I had 3 hours of sleep! My left hip was really bothering me. So, I'm up. My massage therapist comes this morning, boy, I can't wait for that! :o) I'll have to show her my new lumps that I have so she can massage them. :o( Thats going to hurt, but it helps so much. :o)

This weekend was the best I've had in such a long time! :o) It was great! :o)Even though my husband didn't get his check, having my family and best friend around made up for it! :o) My sister called me last night to let me know that she will be able to come up on New Year's eve! YAY!!!!! :o)

Please keep the comments coming! :o) God bless you all, and gentle hugs! :o)

Feeling better.

I'm feeling a lot better. :o) On Friday, my sister was able to come up! YAY! :o) With the weather the way it was, she didn't think she would be able to, then the weather got better and she made it! :o) My daughter came over with my grandson, and my best friend came over too! :o) I also got to babysit my grandson! :o) I had so much fun that day! :o) I was able to get 7 hours of sleep that night! Yessss! :o) My sister and my best friend and I went to our old favorite hang out on Friday night...The Waffle House! LOL :o) That was great, we haven't done that in so long! :o) I had so much fun. :o) Yesterday, my sister and I went and got a few things and stopped by my best friends house for a few minutes, and came back home. I was so tired. :o) Then my neice and nephew came! I haven't seen them in over a year! :o) Wow...have they grown! :o) I really missed them so much! I have so many pictures that I have taken that I am going to add to this entry. :o) I want to share all of the fun I had! :o)

Yes, I'm still having a lot of pain. I also found a new painful muslce lump. :o( They seem to be spreading on my upper stomach area. :o( And it really hurts. My left hop has been really hurting too. I've been having a lot of trouble walking and a lot of pain. But, I'm doing my best to get around and to not let this disease spoil anything for me! :o) I wanted this weekend to happen for so long, and it's finally here, and I'm going to have as much fun as I can without this disease spoiling it for me. I haven't been able to rest like I know I should, but I just can't lay in bed and not visit! :o) Today though, I do need to slow down some. My body is wearing down real quick! I'm a family person...I just love to have my family around me, it really means so much to me! :o) Plus, I'm too busy trying to take pictures :o) My mom called last night and said that she was going to come over today. I hope the talk will go well. :o) That situation needs to end so I can get better as well.

Thank you all for the comments! :o) Please keep them coming! :o) They really do help me get through my days. :o) God belss you! And gentle hugs! :o)

Friday, December 16, 2005


I was finally able to get 5 hours of sleep last night!!!!! YAY! :o) My eyes were so dry and sore from being open for so long! They now feel a bit lubed up now! :o)

Today, my sister and my daughter will be coming to visit me! :o) I can't wait! :o) She will be staying the weekend with me! :o) I really need this time with her. I miss her so much. She doesn't live that far from me, but my car stalls on me too much, and doesn't make it that far, and she doesn't have a car. Her boy friend is bringing her up. :o) I could use a fun and a relaxing few days. :o) My best friend came over last night and watched a few of our shows that we like to watch with me. :o) That was fun. We used to do that all the time, stay up and watch t.v. and see what would be the most stupid movie we could find on and watch it to laugh! lol :o) But, it started to snow and sleet again, so she had to go home early. We really got pounded yesterday with snow! From what I heard, we got 7 inches! It was pretty to watch from the inside, but I know it was pretty bad out there. My massage therapist called to let me know that she couldn't come yesterday. I'm hoping that she will be able to come today. I could really use it. I'm really hoping that my husband gets his bonus check today, if not, we won't have a Christmas. :o( He told me last night that his boss hasn't said anything about them, so his fingers are crossed as well.

I want to thank you all for your comments, please keep writing, they really do keep me going. :o) God bless you all! :o) And gentle hugs!

P.S. My husband didn't get his Christmas this year. :o(

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Very tired.

I only got 1 and a half hours of sleep! A pretty bad headache woke me up! :o( My neck and shoulders hurt pretty bad as well. Probably why the headache. I've been up for hours now, took some Advil dor the pain, and still no relief. My massage therapist will be coming this morning. That will feel good to get the massage. :o) Boy do I need it! :o) I was having another bad day of "fibro fog" yesterday. I had to make a few phone calls and I had such a hard time trying to talk. I was so embaressd. I just forgot words in the middle of what I was saying! It was an ok day yesterday besides the fog. My pain is still the same. I talked to my husband last night about what has been going on with my mom, and what it has done to me. Physically and mentally. He told me he had noticed that I was in bad shape for awhile and wondered what was wrong. But, when he would ask me if there was anything on my mind, or if I needed to talk, I would say no, I'm fine. But I couldn't hold it in any longer. We had a great talk, and he deffinitly understood the flashbacks it gave me. He said it happens to him once in awhile too. But, I have dealt with those, and have moved on, but I still am not able to as of yet without getting the truth out to the ones who need to know. He agreed with what I wanted to do. But thats not going to happen. I was already told that. Oh well. After a good talk, I will move on. I have so much to heal for right now. :o) I have a grandson that I need and want to be with and to do things with! :o) I except everyone for who they are, but I can not except being treated the way I am. I am looking forward to this weekend! :o) My sister will be coming up to stay the night with two of her children! :o) I can't wait to see them. :o) I really miss them a lot. :o)

I had nothing to do yesterday except to rest. Blah! I'm so tired of that. I wanted to go visit my best friend but I couldn't. She only lives down the hill from me. :o) I had a box perm for a few weeks now, just sitting there. So....needless to say, I was so bored, I got myself a perm! lol :o) I look like Peter Frampton from the 70's! LOL :o) But it's much better then just straight hair! :o)

I want to thank all that have wrote comments, they really do keep me going, and to those that have also signed my frappr. :o) God bless you. :o)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

A better day.

I got up pretty early again. Thats ok. My daughter was here most of the day yesterday, and I had so much fun with Kayden! :o) He was making me laugh so hard! lol :o) I just love the antlers on his head! Too cute! lol :o) Being with my kids and my grandson really cheers me up! :o) I actually got out of the house since it snowed! It felt so good. Fresh air! :o) No walls! :o) I went over to my best friends house to visit with her. :o) Her mom got her an Ab Roller, I think thats what it's called. It's an excercise thingy. :o) I tried it, and I didn't even feel any of my muscles being used at all! YAY! I found a way to excercise! :o) It strecthed out my spine, and that alone felt so good! It's been years since I've been able to do that! I still felt good after I got off of it, it was like I didn't do anything. I was told by my physical therapist to do excercises in my bed, because then gravity doesn't pull on the body that way, but I've tried and I've still ended up hurting myself. Then we went out to dinner. That was so nice as well. :o) Very relaxing, which I really needed. So, I had a pretty good day all in all! :o)

I want to thank everyone that has signed my frappr, and has left comments. :o) Thank you! Kepp signing my frappr! :o)  God bless you and gentle hugs to you all. :o)

.................................................How smart you are has little to do with where you are going to be in the future.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Still scared.

Last night I had a hard time getting and staying asleep. I was afraid that what happened to me the night before would happen again. :o( Yesterday when my massage therapist came, I told her what happened, and she said, "Uh oh!" And wouldn't tell me anything else! Good Grief! If she knew something, I would have liked to know, she has always told me things. So, I don't know what that means. She did, however, take a lot more time with me, and really seemed concerned. I'm still having problems walking. I'm still taking care of myself. :o) Have too, I need to get better. :o) My daughter and my grandson came over last night and spent the night! :o) Today is her laundry day, so she just thought she would surprise me and stay the night. :o) YAY! :o)

I guess thats all for now. Please keep comments comming as they really do help me through this. :o) And please sign my frappr! :o) God bless you all! :o)

Monday, December 12, 2005


I was woken up at 2:00 this morning by this horrible feeling of my muscles constricting all around my ribs! It was making it hard for me to even breath! :o( At first, I just laid there scared! I didn't know what to do. I waited until I was able to move, and then rolled to the side of my bed and got up. I honestly think I'm going to make a doctors appointment today! I just can't take anymore of this. I'm scared! My massage therapist is coming this morning and I will let her know what has been going on as well. She's already not happy the way my whole body is in right now! And is worried about me. I can't take anymore of this pain. I can handle the "usuall" pain, but not this scary stuff! And I've been doing nothing but staying in bed resting. I really do feel that it's because of all the stress I am under right now. As soon as that is settled, I'm hoping I'll get better. I can still feel the tightness around my lung area when I breath. :o( Especially on the right side. I'm very scared right now. :o( If anyone has had this happen to you, or know someone that this has happened to, could you please let me know, and what was done about it? Thank you. :o) Please all comments are welcome. God bless you! :o)

Please sign my frappr! :o)

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Just to talk.

I was able to get 5 and a half hours of sleep last night! Yessss! :o) I took a pain pill before I went to bed. I really hate having to take those things. It did however take some of the edge off a bit. My doctor knows I don't like to take them and he's going to wonder why I've been using so many of them lately. Oh well. He knows I'll tell him the truth. And yes, I'm feeling the same! :o( I was in bed all day yesterday! :o( My husband and my son helped me through the day. :o) I still can not believe how bad my body is. :o( The pain is so bad. :o( Even in bed, I was getting dizzy and felt as if I was going to pass out! And thats from the pain! :o( I'm still swollen as well.

Once again, I tried talking to my mom yesterday. Yea right! :o( She still isn't seeing why and how much she is hurting me. I've done everything there is to do. I wrote another letter to her, and she read it, but I didn't get a response. :o( Oh well. At least I've tried.

My best friend came over last night! :o) She always cheers me up. :o) She gave me my Christmas present early! She knows how my house has been with things coming up missing, and the "activity" thats been going on as well. She gave me an authentic certified box of Holy water, oil, and and a cross to bless this house with! :o) They are all from Jerusalem, Bethlehem and Nazareth. :o) So, thats what I'm going to do today, bless this house, and hang the cross above my bed. :o) Plus, I also have my own bottle of holy water that I get on my own at a local church. I can use that as well. This gift gave me chills when she handed it to me! :o) Of course, I had to give her a gentle hug! :o) My husband an I watched "It's a Wonderful Life" last night. We watch Christmas movies every Saturday evening until Christmas. :o) Thats our time together. :o)

I want to thank everyone that leaves comments. And please go to my frappr page! :o) It's a good way for me to get to know you. :o) Which I would love to do. :o) God bless you! :o)

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Just ramblings.....

I didn't get very good sleep again last night. I could feel all of my muslce lumps that are all over my body. Even on my back as well. :o( There is no position that is a good one. Getting up at 3:00 is much better then 2:30! :o) All day yesterday I was in bed. It makes me feel stir crazy when I have to stay in bed for so many days. I haven't had to since I've had fibromyalgia! By far, this has been the worse that I have ever been! :o( Last night, the pain was so bad, it was making me sick to my stoamch. My husband noticed how uncomfirtable I was, and he said that he hates seeing me like this and wishes that he could do something to help me. Bless his heart. :o) I wish there was something he could do too! I thought that my mom was suppose to come over yesterday. She wrote me a letter letting me know. It would have been a nice thing to do to let me know if she wasn't going to come or not. My nerves are just shot over all of this bull! I can't be put through all of this! I don't know how much worse my body can get!!! And I sure as hell don't want to find out either! :o( I'm just very thankful that I have the family I do have that is supporting me through all of this mess. I was reading my Fibromyalgia Awarness magazine last night, and it has an article in it that I really liked. It's about positive attitudes. :o) What they are, and what they aren't. Here are a few of them:

     What a positive attitude is not:

-Being a pollyanna, running around saying, "Everything is wonderful!"

-Ignoring or hiding from reality, and pretending.

     What a positive attitude is:

-Accepting reality and finding ways to make it best fit you.

-Accept what you have, and not what you have lost by having fibromyalgia.

I really like those. :o) It is so true. I was also readin an article about how to change your focus. It was about keeping a journal, and making sure that you at least write once a day about everything! Well, I do that! :o) And it shows a box on Tips on Writing to Heal! A very good article as well. :o) Like I've always said in this journal, my writings help me through my days. And I'm glad that I feel that I'm doing the right thing! :o) It also says to have positive people around you. Well, I already know that one too. But in my life, I do have my husband and my children and my sisterand my best friend! Plus all of my friends that I have on line! :o) I appreciate them all too! :o) I guess this is all for now. :o) If there is any other people that are supporting me out there, you can let me know. :o) God bless you all! All comments are welcome. :o)


Friday, December 9, 2005


Boy did we get hit last night with snow! We got at least 4 inches! It could be more because the weather man was saying we were getting an inch an hour! Yikes! I know when I looked out side, I couldn't tell were the yard and the street started! There are a lot of towns under a warning 1, because it's so bad. That means that the police son't want you out on the roads. It goes up to 3. A 3 means if you are out on the road, you get a ticket! Because it's that dangerous out. I would love to be able to get out and take some pictures, I think the snow is beautiful like this.

I got up early once again. I didn't sleep very well. I could feel all of my muslce lumps no matter where I tried to lay. I could also feel my swollen body, which kind of made me sick to my stomache. :o( My massage therapist could not believe how bad my whole body was yesterday morning! She had to start the massage from the base of my neck, top of my spine and my neck, and of course the rest of the way down and my whole body this time! Ouchie! It took a lot longer as well. Even my hands had lumps in them! She had to massage the tops, sides and the palms! She told me how bad my back and whole upper body was swollen! I thought it was because I could feel it. Then after the massage, now I'm way more swollen then before, and it's my whole body now! I wish I could take pictures of this to show. But I would have to be naked to do that and I'm not going to do that one. It starts from the right side of my face, down my neck, and then the rest of my body! I look so deformed. :o( I'm in one of the wors pain that I've ever been in! I can hardly even move. Thankfully my husband helped me out so much last night. :o) He was really worried about me. He said he wished he could take it from me. Bless his heart! :o) One of these days I will get back to my "normal." I just can't wait. This pain has lasted for too long now. :o( My daughter came over yesterday and surprised me! :o) She couldn't stay long, but she did fix my bed for me, and said that she would come over today to change my bedding for me. :o) From the way it looks out side, I doubt that she will be able to make it now. Thats ok, I'd rather her be safe then try to make it over here. :o)

I was in bed all day yesterday. While I was in bed, I have a laptop and I was writing in my journal on that. Then I thought I'd write a letter to my mom about how I'm feeling about this situation. I needed to, to get some things off my mind. I sent it to her, and I hope that she took it like I meant it. If I don't get this stuff out of my mind, I'm not going to get any better, or if this situation doesn't end, I'm not going to get any better. So, at least it's a start. I need to heal in more ways then one right now. If the doctor seen me right now, he'd more then likely put me in the hospital! I don't want that to happen! This is by far the worse I've been. :o(

Thank you all for your comments, and keep them coming. They help me to get through all of this. :o) God bless you all. :o)

Thursday, December 8, 2005

Nothing much.

Yesterday was another bad day once again. I had to take another pain pill to try and ease this pain a bit. I rested in bed most of the day. My son did all of my errands for me. :o) My daughter couldn't come over because she was busy. I was alone, which scares me when I'm in this situation. I never know whats going to happen. I don't have anyone else to call to come over to help me. My best friends car isn't working. :o( Plus, not hearing from my mom, I don't know what hours she works anymore, and I seriously doubt if she even would come. She's busy at work. I have a feeling that today will be another one of those days. My massage therapist is coming this morning, and when she's done, I'm in more pain then I started out with. But it does help. I've been using my wheel chair and my walker to get around. Too bad my sister doesn't live closer to me because I know she would be here in a heart beat. :o) Too bad she doesn't have a car either, she would be able to come up for a day to help. My mom baught her best friend a car, and my other sister a car, and I have a car, and she baught my other sister a winter coat. She has to walk to work in this cold weather, and her work is over 2 miles away from her home. And my other sister doesn't work, but has a car. :o( I would giver her mine in a heart beat if I could. :o) But, thats our life! :o(

I couldn't sleep all that well last night. I have too much on my mind still. I've talked to my husband about the situation thats on my mind, and he's not real happy at all! And neither am I, and I can't seem to get it through the head of the person the situation is about! He sees what this has done to me, and is not happy about that either! Hopefully I will be able to feel better soon. :o) I'm trying! :o) I plan on being in bed today again to try to rest my body.

Well, I suppose thats all for now. My pain level is way off my pain scale, and has been for a few weeks now. I'm still praying for at least one day of releif. :o) God bless, and all comments are welcome. :o) Everyone have a great day! :o)

Wednesday, December 7, 2005


Yesterday was one of the worst days for me with pain! :o( Of course, I took my normal medicines, and I also took some Advil to see if it would help with taking some of the edge off of the pain a bit. Nope, didn't even make a difference. So, I eneded up having to take a Vicodine! :o( I only take those if I have no other choice! It did take some of the edge off. My daughter was here doing her laundry, and my grandson was asleep in my bed, so I got in bed and took a nap with him. :o) The pain was my whole body! It seemed to start from the base of my head, upper neck, and just generated all through my whole body! :o( Then, I just rested, and watched my grandson play and be his cute adorable self. ;o) After they left, my pain wasn't getting any better. I had to resort in taking another one! :o( That time it seemed to help more. I went to bed around 10:30. Got up at 2:30 again this morning. So far, I'm still in a lot of pain, and can barely move. :o( If I move my head the wrong way, there is a pain that will shoot right down my back, and then into the rest of my body. Ouchie! :o( I really hope that today I'll feel better. This pain is agonizing!

I did have a good day even though I was in such pain. It helps to have my kids and grandson here with me! :o) They all make me laugh and smile! :o) I don't know what I'd do without them all! :o) To me, they are my life! :o) Laughing helps so much when I'm in so much pain. :o)

I am hoping I will have a good day today. Again, all I have planned to do is rest in bed. I am going to call my daughter to see if she can come over to make my bed for me. The sheets need changed really bad, and with me being in the bed so much, the sheets get all tangled up and very uncomfortable. My son has been helping me by cleaning and dusting and vacuuming for me. :o) And my husband called me yesterday from work to see how I was doing. :o) I don't know what I would od without the love and support from my family! :o) And not just my kids and husband, but my sister as well! :o) She writes me to ask how I'm doing even though she reads my journal. :o) And my best friend too! :o) That makes me feel that she really loves me and cares enough to ask about me. :o) She's such a sweetie! :o) And the ones that write comments makes me feel that they care too. :o) Even when my Aunt write as well. :o) Thank you all. :o) I've been getting ecards from my great Aunt everyday now, and they have been cheering me up! :o) They are so beautiful! :o) I write her back to let her know. :o) Again, thanks for the comments, and keep them coming! :o) God bless. :o)

..................................................There is no such thing as an insignificant human being. To treat people that way is a kind of sin and there's no reason for it. None.

                                                         -----Debbi Feilds

Tuesday, December 6, 2005


I got up at 2:30 this morning. The pain in my neck and upper chest area woke me up! Ouchie! gggrrr! I have those large lumps again in those areas. It's so hard to get comfortable to sleep. I'm trying my best to relax to help my body feel better. My daughter will be here today to do her laundry, and I'll be in my bed trying to rest. Thats all I have planned for today. If I don't rest my body, I know I will be in worse shape. I don't want that. I had to use my wheel chair yesterday. :o( After my massage therapist came, I was able to just use my walker. I'm still having problems walking. Oh well. The pain thats in my back that goes down to my hips affect my legs pretty bad. Thats what's making it hard for me to walk.

My husband and I sat down last night and made the Christmas list of the gifts we need to buy for the family. This year we are having some money problems. So, the list isn't what it usually is. We have to use one of his weekly checks to buy for everyone. I'm usually done shopping by now this time of year. This has been such a bad time for us this year. But I am very thankful that we can at least be able to give something. :o) It's from our hearts. :o) And to me, thats what matters the most. :o) I was going to help with my Kohls credit card, but I had an identitly theft happen with it! Last night, my husband and I got that situation under control. Whew! But I'm stuck now paying off the bill that I didn't buy. But at least it has been settled now. Just thankful for that. :o) At times I think in my life, if I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have luck at all! lol :o) And I know if I don't laugh about it, I won't get by in my everyday life. :o) But, there must be a reason for all of this to happen to us. And thats ok. We will get through it together. :o)

I guess thats all. My eyes have been hurting as well lately. I know they are getting worse, but they are also hurting. Who knows what that means? Just something more for me to live with. And thats ok. :o) Please keep the comments going, they help me get through my days. :o) I don't feel so alone. If that makes since? :o) God bless you all! :o)

Monday, December 5, 2005

Good Grief!

Well, my day yesterday wasn't very good at all. I am still having problems walking. No surprise to me. Just part of what I have I guess. I also was having something that hasn't happened to me in awhile happen all day yesterday. My whole body would do this jump/flop thing! I don't know how to describe it. It feels like it comes from my back, and then it's like I get a jolt and my whole body will jump/flop! I had one happen so bad, it almost made me fall out of this chair! I don't know what is causing it. I'm still having those dizzy spells and the feelings of passing out! I just get in my bed to where I feel safe in case anything happens. I don't know whats causing this either. Plus, the pain I'm in as well. Geesh! I found two new muscle lumps yesterday! :o( I was doing so good. It could be the stress and lack of sleep. Having a seizure disorder as well, stress and lack of sleep is one of the main causes for a seizure too! Just like the number one cause for my body to react in a bad way too! A double edge sword here. :o( So I just stay in places to where I know I will be safe just in case it will become a seizure. My husband has already moved some furniture around for me so I can use my wheel chair. He is very worried about me. I don't blame him, becasue if I don't know whats going on, I'm worried too! Oh well, it's my life. :o) Just things I have to deal with and move on. :o) And I so. :o) All comments are welcomed, and God bless you all. :o)

Sunday, December 4, 2005


I was feeling a bit better yesterday. The dizziness. I laid down and took a nap and slept for 5 hours! Geesh! I guess my body needed it. :o) I'm begining to wonder if my body isn't under more stress then it can handle still. I have to keep my system always at an even keel. Even temperature. If not, I have bad reactions. Thats due to the damaged hypothalamus/thalamus. I can't control it. Boy do I wish I could. I still have so much on my mind. I'm worried about my sister. I wonder what I have done wrong with my mom. This all needs to be settled. Especially my mom getting my one sisters hopes up on becoming a part of the family again and getting to spend time with her mom, and now it seems to be hopes let down because of what my other sister has said. There are 3 of us and we all "need" our mom, no matter what! You just can't pick and chose which one of us you'll be closer to. I'm just hurting over all of this mess, especially now, at this time of year! I've gotten used to her being this way, but my other sister needs her just as the other one does! But for some reason, it isn't seen that way. And thats pretty sad. It's been excepted that my one sister has changed, but not the other. Not very nice in my opinion. :o( If she can give my other sister a chance, then she should give this sister the very same chance. And if she can remain friends with someone that lies and takes from her, which she "feels" that my other sister will do to her, then I just don't get it. :o( Does any of this make sence? It doesn't to me either! You should live it! :o( This situation in my opinion is very childish. When you have more then one child, you can not pick and chose. I sure don't! I grew up this way, and by having my own children, I can not see how a mother can do this. :o( I love both my children so much and the same. I don't know what I would do without them. Of course through the years they've hurt me, lied to me and stolen from me, but nevertheless, they are still my children, and we've worked through it all. Thats the way it should be. God doesn't turn his back on any of us! I can see this situation to where she won't have anyone but herself and her "friend." I'll still be here, but she will have to be the one to come to me this time, I've been going to her to try to talk and am getting no where. She needs to also tell her friend the truth about the letter she had me type for her to send to her friend. That has to end as well. I'm still hurt over that, especially because I'm the one that took the heat from it, and my body got worse over that, and she tells her friend not to listen to the letter even though she was the one that had me type it for her. Her friend needs to know the truth. I just really neede to talk about this because I think this could be a part of my problems I've been experiancing. It needs fixed so I can get better. And by the way, if you're reading this "woo", ask me, and I'll tell you the truth.

I didn't sleep very well last night. My back and hips are hurting. The right side of my neck is killing me. I was having a hard time walking again yesterday. My legs don't seem to want to work at times. Maybe I'll try my wheel chair today. I won't like it, but if I have to, I will.

By the way, if anyone reads this, and seems to get all "bent out of shape" over what I wrote, don't dog me. I needed to get things off my chest and thats it. Yes, I do have good things to say, and positive things to say, but not this morning, just really needed to get this off my chest. Ok? God bless you all! :o)


Saturday, December 3, 2005

Busy yesterday.

On Thursday, I was still having problems with being dizzy and the feeling of passing out. I know I should make an appointment, but I'll just ride this out. I did however get out to pay my bills, and my best friend went with me. :o) After getting my errands don, we went to Red Lobster for a relaxing dinner. We both really needed that. For the both of us, it felt so good just to get out of the house. And that was another way to stay out even longer! LOL :o) Yesterday I was still feeling dizzy! My sugar is fine. Which is good. Whew! :o) But still, other then that, I still don't feel ill. I'll figure it out. :o) My daughter called me and needed me to watch my grandson while she did some errends. Of course I jumped at that! :o) Thankfully, the night before, I went to Big Lots and found an umbrella stroller for only $7.99! That really came in handy! So, instead of carrying my grandson when I'm not able to, I put him in his stroller. :o) Plus, my son was here so he helped too! :o) Kayden just thinks he's the funniest person alive! lol As soon as my son walks into the room, he starts laughing! lol :o) Yes, my son has always been able to make people laugh! lol And he's still that way! :o) He still cracks me up! lol So yesterday went great! I was able to get some pictures while he was here. He had just went to the doctors and got 4 shots, so he wasn't feeling up to par. Poor thing. I'm still worried about my mom. She tells me not to, but I can't help it. I just wish she would talk to me and get it out. Oh well. I'm also worried about my sister. :o( She was suppose to come up here this weekend for a mini vacation. Well, now she won't be able to make it up here for the rest of this year. :o( I really wish there was a way that I could help her with Christmas, but I'm not able to. All I am able to tell her is to not give up and to be positive. God will find a way to help her. :o)

Well, I am in more pain then I have been. All of the samethings still are hurting, and now I have my right side of my neck killing me as well. Both of my eyes are doing this twitching thing, which makes it a little hard to see at times. :o) Both sides of my face will just go to town on the twitching. It is one of the weirdest feelings. My right foot and ankle are hurting pretty bad as well. Last night I had a hard time walking. I know that there are times when I should be using my wheel chair instead of my walker, but it's harder for me to use with my upper body in so much pain. Every chance I do get, I lay in bed to rest my body. I bought myself a new Bible, I've never had one of my own, and I've been sitting in my bed transfering all of the things that I have out lined in my old Bible to my new one. :o) Thats taking a lot of time to do, but what I'm also doing while transfering is reading it as well. :o) I'm already in the New Testiment! :o) Yay! :o) I suppose thats all for now. Please keep your comments coming, they really do keep me going. I don't feel so alone that way. God bless. :o)

Thursday, December 1, 2005

My thoughts.............

Yesterday wasn't a good day at all. I don't know what it is, because I have 3 sleeping disorders, a seizure disorder, borderline sugar problems, and the fibromyalgia. I was really feeling out of sorts. I was using my walker all day to help get around the house. I took a nap, and thought that would help, and I still felt the same. I don't feel like I'm coming down with anything, thats why I need to figure out what it could be. Process of elimination. :o) I did, however, have a lot of tremors/shaking, and different kinds of muscle spasms as well. So, I kind of think it could be a seizure ready to happen very soon. I have auras that can last up to 3 days before I have a seizure, so I never really know when it could actually happen. :o( Not a good thing. I was in the hallway to go to the kitchen last night, and almost passed out! Thankfully my husband was there and caught me and was able to sit me down! Whew! That was a close one. I went to bed early last night. I didn't get much sleep because I was having those dreams again. I couldn't write anything down because I didn't have time. I really needed to go to the bathroom. :o) But, I do know that they were prophetic dreams. I still feel them which is good. I just don't have anything specific wrote down to help me remember the whole dreams. They will come back to me. :o)

My daughter is coming over today, so thats makes me feel better. :o) I won't be here alone. Just in case anything happens again. I just have a feeling that all of that stress that I was under for awhile, and then having good days without it all might be messing with my system a bit. I am very thankful that I don't have all of that stress right now! Whew! It really made my body hurt pretty bad! I'm still having the same pain in my upper body, my back and my hips and down my legs still. But, the good news is that there aren't any new lumps are pain popping up! YAY! :o)

I want to thank those who wrote comments. :o) Please keep them coming, they really do help me keep going. :o) Go bless. :o)