Sunday, October 31, 2004

I didn't order this weather...who did?! :o)

The winds here have been very wickedly high! It brought in some cold behind it. Not a good thing. I am having pain now, from head to feet! On top of that, it feels like I'm catching another cold. :o( Great! :o(  Because of the high winds yesterday, my husband had to rake our kitchen! There were leaves everywhere! Amazing to think of how they got in like they did. So, nothing in my little piece of the world has changed much.

Friday, October 29, 2004

I can't believe my baby has a baby growing inside her! :o)

Wow! Yesterday was a very eventful day! :o) I was able to go to my daughters first ultra sound! Things sure have changed since I had my kids! Which is good! That experiance was something that I'll never in my whole life, forget! It felt so weird to see my baby, laying there, and seeing a baby growing inside her! Somebody really needed to slap me! I was in a state of mind that I haven't been in, in a long time! euphoria! It was a very beautiful thing to witness! If it wasn't for her boy friends mom, I wouldn't have seen it! Thank you so much! Today, I am having the "normal" pain that I usually have. My back, neck, hips, knees, arms, and feet and ankles! My eye balls hurt as well. Too bad they can't go behind my eyes and fix the damage that is there. Oh well. Well, I need to go. I just had to show off my grandbaby! :o)   <-----BIG SMILE!

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

.....and again.

Well, I guess my "good" fibromyalgia is over! :o( At least I did have a time to where I didn't have very much pain at all. I'm thankful for that. I absolutly HATE this! I know that everyone else out there, that might be reading this, that has this as well, feels the same as I do. It hurts like no other pain that I've ever felt! I've said this before, and I'll say it again, I'd much rather give birth 10 times in a row, then to go through this pain!!!!!! I am in the most pain now, then I've been in a about a month and a half now. :o( ggguuurrr!!! back is in enormous pain right now! My shoulders, my arms, my hands, and wrists, my hips, upper and lower parts of my legs!!! My ankles, and my feet! My neck, and it just radiates all the way down to my tail bone! I'm swollen all over again! (And NO IT'S NOT MY WEIGHT either! I already know that I'm fat!) I had to take my watch up a whole 2 notches! I've had this watch since summer! It's been on the same notch since! I will still work with my medicines, and listen to my body. I just feel that I haven't listened to my body enough, and pushed myself too far. :o( I did sleep again all night last night. I went to bed at 10:00, and got up at 7:00. Thats really good for me! I really need my sleep. Oh well...back to the drawing board. signing off!

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

here we go again.

Today is Tuesday. I got 7 hours of sleep last night. I'm very glad about that. My physical therapist came yesterday, and told me if I don't start taking it easy, my pain will worsen. Yes, this time all of my pain was from the fibromyalgia. :o( Since I'd been feeling better, I guess I was over doing things. I didn't even realize it. But my body sure did! Not good. My back, hips, and knees are really hurting this morning. All of this fibro stuff seemed to start in my back. If I could just open it up, and get my hands in there, I know I could rub the pain away. Because you can't get it from the out side! My bed is begining to feel hard to me again. I have no idea what to do about it. I have an old mattress on it, the one's that you can just fold, and a gel mattress, and a down feather bed pillow. When you lay on my bed, you sink in. But, to me, it feels like concrete. :o( Thats just another thing that I have to deal with. That could be one of the reasons why I haven't been able to sleep very well. My mom and sister came over yesterday. They took me to lunch with them. They came back over last night, and watched a show with me. They are going to come back over today to help me pack. If I feel anything like I do right now, I have to do what my body says. I can't push it any further. It hurts way too much, and then I pay for it when I don't listen. I don't want that to happen anymore. Thursday is my daughters first ultra sound. :o)I can't wait. I miss her already! :o) Ok...I just experianced something very weird from my house!!! It's only 8:00 a.m. right now. Time to go now to investigate. Bye!

Monday, October 25, 2004

It's all good! :o)

Yesterday morning, I woke up at 2:30 a.m. It was non stop all day. My daughter and her boy friend were coming up, and my son's girl friends play was yesterday as well. I got my shower and dressed, and my daughter finally came! :o) It was so good to see her again! :o) Her boy friend bought her a new car, for when the baby comes, they will have a car that will be dependable. :o) It's so nice! She gave me a ride around town in it, and I loved it. It's an 2001 Eclips. My mom came over as well. We all were going to see the play. By this time, it was around 1:00 p.m. We sat up in the balcony, because the seats below were the metal folding chairs. I knew I wouldn't be able to sit in one, without having a lot of pain afterwards. But, I did anyways. :o(  I felt so bad, because I had to leave early. I did get to see his girl friend though. :o) I feel the lack of sleep, and my legs dangling for such a long time, made my back hurt very bad! I spent some time with my mom and my daughter and boy friend. I took some photo's of her. She still doesn't have a belly on her yet. I had her weigh herself while she was here, and she had lost 2 more pounds in a week. :o( I've never seen her so thin. She still gets nauseated. This pregnancy is really putting a toll on her. :o( My mom seemed to be worried about my other sister, and went ahead and left. I'm glad I made chili for everyone after the play, because it made me feel better that everyone got to eat before they left. I was going to send some home with my mom, but I didn't get a chance to. I wished she could have had more time to spend with my daughter, though. I know we don't get to see her that often. Oh well. It was good to see her and her boy friend. :o) Getting to know him is really going to be a great thing! He's so happy with my daughter. And seeing it, made me happy as well. :o) I can't believe how he takes her mood swings in such stride! :o) Which is very good! They took some of her things back with them, and I gave them some chili to take home. I could tell, when they were getting ready to leave, that my daughter had had a full day, and really needed to rest. The poor thing. By then, my body was in full pain! I tried not to show how much pain I was really in. My back was in so much pain, I could hardly move. My hips, legs, ankles, feet, neck, and arms were all hurting! Then, I got a really bad headache! On top of all of that! OUCHIE! I went to bed at 9:30 last night. It was so sweet, my husband was giving me gentle hugs, and rubbing my back. :o) He could tell how much I was hurting. Thats all I wanted to know. He even tucked me in bed, and tried rubbing my back. Just feeling his hands on my back hurt. Even though it was very light touches. :o( But the thought of him trying was so sweet of him. :o) I slept all through the night, and didn't wake up until 6:20! YAY! I did it! I woke up with a very bad headach that could go into a migrane at any time right now. :o( I did take something for it, but, you just never know. My physical therapist will be coming today. I can't wait. My mom and sister will be coming over today as well. Before I end this....Sweetie, we are really looking forward to you two coming back up for another visit!! :o) We are not anything like the your dad. :o) Well, you know that one! lol :o)

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Was that sleep I had?

Yesterday wasn't a very good day, to say the least, with pain. :o( I had so much planned to do. With no sleep, I get pain. I couldn't even walk without my walker. :o( I was doing so well. goes on. I did get one thing accomplished that I wanted to do. I made a batch of Toll House cookies. :o) And, I don't think I burned myself either! :o) My sister that moved away, and now has come back, came with her kids last night for a visit. It was one of the best visits that I've had with her in I'd say years! :o) She didn't ask for information on anyone. She came to visit us! It was really so good to see the kids. It's been a few months shy of a year, since I last saw the two younger ones. They've really grown. If she can come over and be the way she was last night, and not ask me any info on any one, then I won't mind her visiting. :o) After that, we got a pizza, and my husband and I watched shows about haunted places. That was pretty cool! I feel so badly for him as well. He's sick like me, and he was packing most of the day. :o( I went to bed at 11:00. And I woke up because of pain. :o( Darn it! My left hip and knee was hurting so bad, I couldn't stand it! So, I got up at 2:30 a.m. Oh well. My daughter and her boy friend are coming up today! YAY! I want to get some film for my camera. She's been wanting chili, so thats what I'm going to make for supper. :o) My son's girl friend is in a play today as well. We are all going to go see it. :o) So, today sounds like it should be a good day! Just hoping that I don't have this pain.

Friday, October 22, 2004

Isn't sleep a part of life?

I'm up again! The only thing that I can think of that is doing this is too much on my mind lately. :o( Even though my husband and I have been talking about so many things every night, it's not helping. It's not like we sit around and talk about all bad stuff. I don't know. With having fibromyalgia, the doctors always tell you to try to sleep more, and stay away from stress! Uh...Yea..right! HOW? I know thats the sorce of the pains I've been having. Of course my back, my hips, my knees, and my right thigh, and neck and right shoulder. :o( I was doing so good. But, I'm not going to let this stop me from working on getting better. On top off all of that, I have the flu. I can't seem to keep anything in my stomach. Everyone in the house has it. Yuk! `Tis the season! I guess I'll try to find something to do that might bore me to get tired. :o)

I'm not going to bother writing today about anything in my life. And about the progress of my fibromyalgia.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Got sleep!

I finally went to bed at 5:30 yesterday morning. I was able to sleep until 11 something. Last night was a normal night. Boy am I glad! With no sleep, on top of my stress, my pain would be ten times worse now. My back, shoulders, hips, arms, neck, and I had the shakes, all yesterday. Not a good thing. I had problems gripping things again. The shaking doesn't help that at just helps knock everything out of my hands. My eye sight was very poor. But, I expected that. It was a nice and quite day. The evening went very good for once. Nothing bad or stupid happened! YAY! :o) I was also able to take care of a few people that have been on me, which has been very stressful for me. I was able to talk with reason to them, and they have stopped, and left me alone! 2 down, more to go. I really don't like it when people keep on me about my own ideas. Or, my own opinions. They are mine. Thats it. Over. Thats how I feel, and everyone else should be able to have their own feelings as well, as long as you don't push them onto me. I heard from my daughter. She's starting to do alittle bit better with her sickeness. She has made it through 2 days of work this week. I guess thats all. Bye!

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Can't sleep....!

I'm up! Can't sleep again! This will surely help my pain, and my cold/flu! I have so much on my mind, I'm sure thats why I can't. When my son was young, and he had things on his mind, he would tell me that he had, "race cars" in his head, and he needed to talk about things, to get rid of them. Thats exactly what it's like! He nailed that one on the head! I can't close my eyes, and not have 50 things racing around in my mind! I honestly don't know how to get rid of some of them. My husband and I talked about most of them tonight, and he has seen and has agreed on why I feel the way I do. We've been talking a lot lately. Whic has helped me a lot. :o)  I'm in a lot of pain as well. Why not? Why don't other people understand that when you tell them, "You don't need a lot of stress!" because the fibromyalgia pain will act up real fast, they don't listen? My son and I had a good talk tonight as well. So that situation is under control now. I've talked to almost everyone now. The others will have to be at another time. I did pack a few more boxes earlier. It doesn't seem like it's all that much left to pack now. I really thought since this is a big house, that it would take forever! I was wrong. :o) My mom came over today. She could only stay for a few minutes, but it was still nice to see her. I hope she gets the job she's been wanting. :o) Well, from the looks of this, I'll be up for awhile. :o( Now, my day tomorrow will be painful. No sleep, and stress, what a mix for pain! :o( It would be nice to be able to get out of this house maybe a day or two a week! Instead of hearing about it!!! It feels like a slap in the face! Thanks to all that do that to me! Just because I have "whatever" doesn't mean I'm not still me! Unless I'm an embarresment. Oh well! I guess no one realizes how much it hurts me. Or, don't even care. I guess thats the price everyone that has a medical problem, has to deal with. I hope not. I know I have really gotten "hard" since all of this. It's not the medical problem, it's seeing the world pass you bye, and everyone else. So...bye!

blah blah blah

I just got done packing more boxes from the upstairs. I over heated again. Whats new? My back is killing me, my hip hurts, and I have the shakes now. I was able to get a few hours of sleep last night. I woke up around 5:15 this morning. I had a hard time getting to sleep. I really have so much on my mind. If I wrote it, I'd have pissed off people! I'll keep it to myself. The only thing that I'm able to write is, I'm still worried about my daughter. She lost 5 more pounds in 2 weeks! This is the thinest that she's ever been. Her doctor gave her some pills to help on her nausea's tummy. I hope that helps her. I would love to know, "Why do people say one thing, and then, do another?" Don't they realize how that hurts others? Well, I just answered my own question. Nope! If they did, they wouldn't do it! They don't lose sleep over it. All I want to do today is sleep the day away. I'm just so "tired" of certain things, and broken promises. Thats life! blah blah blah.....

Sunday, October 17, 2004

.....not today!

I finally got to bed at 2:30 last night. :o( Not a good thing. I got up at 6:30. :o( Just as I thought, it has taken it's toll on me to pack. I feel like I had been ran over by a bus! I have pain in my neck, shoulders, back, and my upper arms. :o( But at least I know what it's from. The only thing that I feel that is good, is my legs! I can feel the muscle tone coming back in them! YAY! Thats so good! :o) Something I'm doing is good. Plus, this cold weather doesn't help matters. It was 30 degrees when I got up! I'm trying to "get" tired so I can take a nap. I realize how funny that must sound. But, with a sleeping disorder with all of this other stuff, it makes it hard to sleep. So, I'm waiting. I'm hoping to get a lot of sleep today. My body really needs to regenerate itself. Plus, get rid of this headach as well. :o( body is doing what I thought it would. Which shows that I am getting to know this stupid fibromyalgia stuff, and my body. `*`*~*~*~*`*`*`*~*~*~*~*`*`*`*`*`*~*~*~*POOF`*`*`*~*~*~*~`*`*`*~*~*~

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Just another day.

I can't sleep. So, I'm up writting in this thing. Today, we packed all of my daughters things, and her whole room. One room down, 12 more to go. My back is really hurting so bad. I hate at times that I look "ok" on the outside, and no one can see how I feel on the inside. I packed so much, and I over did it. Big time. I know I will pay for this tomorrow. But hey...thats life, right? I did get to talk to my daughter as well today. She got sick again last night. :o( My son packed a few of his things, plus a box of clothes for donation. I took 2 naps today. One in the morning, because I got up at 3:00 this morning, and then after I got back down stairs from helping to pack my daughters room. I had to sit in front of my fan for a long time, to cool down. I felt like I was going to pass out. I just put something else on that was cooler. I went back up stairs to help again in the craft room. Which is basically a storage room for everything. My daughter had stuff in there as well. I just called it a night. I couldn't force anymore energy from my body. My husband ordered pizza for dinner, and I ate 1 slice. I went to take out my dentures, and noticed that my mouth was bleeding from chewing! I've so had it with those things! I watched a movie, and tried to get tired. Not happening yet. :o( And it leads me to now. What a life.

.......And again.

I had a pretty good day yesterday. My sister came over to spend the day with me. The one that has fibromyalgia as well. I'm still sick. :o( blah! back, my knees and my left fore arm has been hurting. My arm hurts because when I picked something up, I strained it by doing so. Thats going to happen. I have a feeling it will happen a little more, since we are getting ready to move. Oy Vey! But still, so far, so good, with my medicines that I'm taking myself off of! YAY! I've started this morning, taking myslef off of the second medicine! And I really am feeling so much better. :o) It's sad that some doctors think that if they "drug" you up, they won't have to deal with you, and "you'll feel better!" Not the case! I'm getting up early again, but at least I am getting some sleep. I do still take a nap during the day, when I can. Especially since I've been sick. I'm not even wetting myself anymore! I'm wondering if one of those pills were doing that to me. I think that alergic reaction in my mouth, has gotten better. It's a little hard to see. But from what I can see, it looks a lot better. :o) I suppose thats all.

Friday, October 15, 2004

Just another day in my life.

Yesterday seemed to be a loonnnggg day! It never ended! Whe nyou're not feeling well, I suppose that's what makes it feel that way. I took a long nap. I felt a bit better, cold/flu wise, after that. I'm having pain in my back, and in my right knee. Now thats a switch, it's usually in my left knee. I was able to be with my daughter when she read the email with the information in them. They now have a phone! YAY! I stayed on line, so I wouldn't miss her. It worked. So, I was able to be on the phone for when she read them, I could help her through them, and answer any of her questions. :o) I feel so much better about that. I was just so worried, I couldn't sleep. Then afterwards, she called in work because she was sick still. :o( Then she said she was going to take a nap. In the evening, around 6:30, I got a call from her. She just got up from her nap. She just wanted to talk. :o) We talked for about an hour and a half. I hope she doesn't get in trouble for calling me. I could hear her boy friend in the back ground being himself with her. :o( Oh well. I couldn't eat yesterday, but I started to get hungry before my husband got home. I made a bowl of tomato soup. It sounded good at the time, but then....eeewww! It felt like it burned a whole in my stomach! Nothing sounds good when you're sick. I really am hoping that today will be a much better day. My husband bought some cold/flu medicine home for me. I'm not sure if they're helping or not. It's so hard to tell what's fibromyalgia, and what's not. I had to make my bed the other day, and this morning, my dog is laying on it snoozing away! lol Thats my seal of approval! :o) If I was sleepy right now, I would get in bed with her! :o)

Thursday, October 14, 2004

I'm hurting inside.........

I'm not getting any better from this stupid cold/flu thing. I still have a fever. I got up at 3:00 this morning! Way too early. I'll just take naps during the day. My fibromyalgia stuff is the same. My back is hurting me, and my knees. I think my knees are hurting maybe because of the cold/flu thing. Who knows. I had to change my sheets yesterday, and it really did me in. Whew! I over heated bad! It kind of scared me a bit. I had my fans on, and my air conditioner on as well, to cool down. It worked after about 2 hours. Just because I'm getting better in certain areas, doesn't mean I still don't need help in others. Again, it must come down to, "well, you're looking so much better!" Thats on the outside. It's just like in the begining all over again. Oh well. It's me, I can bounce back. NOT! Not always. I have the same feelings as everyone else does. I had to do something that I really didn't want to do. I found some papers that my daughter needs. But neither of us could come to each others home to get/give them. She asked me to write it out in an email. There are 8 pages of them. I did my best. I found them over the weekend, and I did my best in writing them to her. I just wished I could have given them to her myself. It makes me mad that I couldn't. :o( I didn't know of anyone that could take me to her where she lives. Plus, everyone was busy any ways. I'm hurting so badly, deep inside because of this. Again, oh well. Sweetie...I tried and you know I did! I love you so much! :o) If I knew that my car would make it, I would have tried. When it comes to my kids, they come first!

Wednesday, October 13, 2004


I didn't get much sleep at all. I couldn't take a nap. I tried to, but I just couldn't get sleepy! I hate the way my sleep disorder does to me! If I don't get to sleep when I need to, then, when I'm up all night, I can't get to sleep at all! It's just so stupid. :o( All day yesterday, my back was killing me! My right shoulder, and my legs were weak. Great! Just what I needed! But again, this is good ole' fibromyalgia for ya'! My son and his girl friend both have the flu/cold. I have it now. :o( I have a fever as well, so I know I'm contagous. So, as always, we will be sure to pass this along for a few weeks to everyone in the house! Again, with fibromyalgia, I'll have it the longest, like always. Thats life. My sister called me last night, the one that has fibromyalgia as well, to see if I wanted to go get coffee with her and our mom. I was eating at the time. But when I started to tell her that, we seemed to get disconnected. Dead air. I called her back and left a message on her phone to let her know that I couldn't, and thanks for the invite! :o) I just took my night time pills at 6:30, because I was finally getting tired! Then my other sister called, and told me about her son's dream. She was also asking me questions about others that I felt she should have asked them, not me. So, I just told her about their health, and I know nothing! No more game playing here! I was getting so tired, and was not at all feeling good. At about 8:30, I went to bed. I had the fan on me, because I was hot. When I woke up this morning at 5:30, I was sweating so badly. eeewww! I still have a temp. and I'm all "achey" all over. OUCH! My shoulder is better, but my back still hurts. Not as bad. I'm glad. I have a feeling that I'll probably end up in bed most of the day. Oh well, maybe I'll "shake" this cold/flu thing. Yuk!

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

This could mean pain! :o(

I'm glad my day was good early on, yesterday. I went to see my doctor. He was so pleased to see how much better that I am. He even said that I can take myself off of two more medicines. One of them, all together be off of it. The other one, only take it when I have pain! YES! I come home, and layed down for a nap. I do this so I can be sure, or at least try to stay out of as much pain as I can. It worked. My back did feel better. Ok....I'm on a medicine schedual. Plus, a daily schedual. I have to have those for my health. For instance: I can't stay up late for 2 nights in a row. I can't take my medicines late either. Both of those will through me into a tail spin. I had just got into bed last night. I take my night time meds. at 9:30. I know by that, I will usually be in bed by 10:30, or earlier. I'm always the last in this house to go to bed. Then, I hear the phone ringing. I got up and answered it. Gee, it was my one sister that felt she couldn't wait until today to call me, to tell me about a dream her son had! I asked her if she would call me today, when I'm up! She knows my problems, and my schedual, and all about my pills. She came and stayed here before. I even told her! But, thats the thing with her, she only listens if it concerns her! So, after that, I was up all night! I didn't get to bed until 4:20! Great! I am not feeling well on top of my fibro pain. I had a fever as well yesterday. This morning, when I did get up, I woke up with a very bad headache, my back is litteraly killing me, and my shoulders are now hurting me! If she called me for attention, then this is her time for "HER!" Live it up, Kim! I hope you're happy now! I'm now useless for the rest of the day. This is the sister that lied to me, and stole from our mother, and her husband, and she had her daughter with her to help! She's back in town, and hoping that all she has done can be forgotten. Oh sure... NOT! It takes awhile to earn trust back. And that only depends on how hard she claims to "care" like she says! If she could walk in anyone's shoe's that has fibromyalgia, she would then, and only then realize what it's like to be me!  

Monday, October 11, 2004

.....a relaxing day.

I had another relaxing day yesterday. It's been so nice for me, the last few days. My husband and I have gotten a lot of things worked out. Plus, not having much pain sure does make a world of differences! I still do have back pain. Yesterday it was really hurting me. I needed to go Sears to get a few items, and my husband said he would take me. So, thankfully, they now have shopping carts there, and it made it so much easier on me. He looked at tools, while I bought my items. We were done and out of there in no time flat! Then my back was hurting me pretty bad. I just came home and took a nap with my dog, and dreamt it away. When I woke up, it did feel a bit better. I have a doctors appointment today at 1:00. My physical therapist comes at 11:00. I can't wait for either of them. I have a feeling that my doctor will be a little surprised at how I am doing. He should look at how I'm doing, and not the fact that I'm not taking his medicines. Oh well, if he don't. I didn't get any boxes packed, but neither did anyone else. So I don't feel bad about not getting to it. I called my mom yesterday to let her know that I had an appointment today, and she said she would call me and we would talk when she got home, after she checked her email. I didn't get a call, and I didn't get an email. Thats ok, that must mean something must have came up. I haven't heard from her all week. So, if she doesn't come today to take me to my doctor, I can try to drive it myself. :o) My allergic reaction to my dentures, doesn't seem to be clearing up very fast. That concerns me. I am still using the wash. Like the dentist said, the fibromyalgia can do strange things to people, and it just wanted to make me allergic to my dentures. Of all things! My daughter has been very sick with her pregnancy. I really hope that she will be ok. She's sick all day, and everyday. :o( When I seen her, she was nothing but skin and bones. Thats not good. I really wish she was here, so I could at least help her through her first trimester. But, oh well. Her choice. Bye.

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Date night! :o)

I had a wonderful time last night! My husband and I went to one of our favorite resteraunts last night, and then came home and watched a movie! :o) I can't even remember how long it's been that we've went out to eat together! I know it's been a few years. It was so nice, and relaxing. We need more time like that. :o) The rest of the day was spent just relaxing. I had to, because of my back still hurting. Again, at least thats all that is hurting me right now. :o) With this fibromyalgia, you never know when you're going to hurt, and where. So far, nothing new. Whew! Today, I'll again try to pack another box! I'm getting there, slowly but surely. :o) There really isn't much to tell. I do have an appointment tomorrow to see my doctor. He will more than likely be a little upset that I took myself off of some of my medicines. Oh well, let him. He'll see the difference him self.

Saturday, October 9, 2004

.....a box a day!

Yesterday was a pretty good day. Cue in, "the back pain.....!" That seems to be the only pain that I've been having lately, is only my back now. Since I've lost some weight, and my legs and ankles don't swell any more, my ankles seem to be weak now. Well, again, they have always been weak, thats why I've always twisted my ankles and broken things, like my bones through the years! So, I am aware of that. I twisted both of them last night! lol It just makes me feel more and more, back to "normal" again! My best friend called me last night, and asked me if I wanted to go to WH. Of course I did! YAY! She sprung me lose from my room! I tried something new again. I didn't take my walker with me. I didn't even hold her arm for any support! I did it! YESSS! It's not that much of a walk, but, I did it! :o) What it probably looked like to on-lookers was a pregnant woman walking slowly. I don't care! :o) Things are starting to happen now. To the good! I do still remember that I also need to rest afterwards, because I need to build up my strength. I have been "trying" to pack. But, it just seems that I can only get in a box a day! I over heat still! Very badly! I'll pack a box, over heat, then it takes about an hour of me sitting in front of a fan, to cool off. I have to pack. I am getting ready to go upstairs to take a look at the things up there as well. Today is going to be rest day....I'm hoping. :o) Bye.

Friday, October 8, 2004

Yesterday was a pretty good day!

Yesterday, my daughter's boy friends mom brought her up. :o) It was so good to see her finally! I took some photo's of her, and she looks so cute! She has lost weight, in fact, I thought she looked like skin and bones. But, thats what happens when you get pregnant, you lose weight, then you put it on! She has this beautiful glow about her! I seen her, for the first time, as a woman. :o) I hope her boy friend fixes her car this weekend like he said, so she can visit more often. :o) As for the fibro pain, I'm doing ok. Just still my back. Nothing new. I've come to terms, that I'll never get rid of that pain. Which is better than having a full body pain, anyday! My one sister that moved away, had moved back a few weeks ago, and she called me last night. She told me that she is on a mission to make sure that she stays in touch with her family now. Keyword:Now! After the time before she moved, when she came back the last time, and now? Why? It's really hard, and will take a long time for her to earn her trust back with me. Other than all of that going on, I suppose things are ok here in my room. Bye.

Thursday, October 7, 2004 pain this morning!

My back is really hurting me this morning. My right shoulder is as well. I probably just slept wrong, I don't know. I just took Advil, and I can already feel it relax a bit more. Well, my husband came home yesterday and gave me the big's oficial...WE GOT THE HOUSE! I am very excited, but not looking forward to the packing. I started to pack some boxes yesterday, and over heated, and it took an hour for me to cool down! Oh well, I can do it, get over heated, then go cool down. That will be that. That way it will get done. My daughter and her boyfriends mom is coming up today for a visit. I'm very excited to see my daughter! I will be doing a reading, so I'll need some quiet time. After they leave, I'll probably just go lay down, and dream it away. I guess I'll go now.

Wednesday, October 6, 2004

Much better day!

Yesterday was so much better. I had such a fulfilling day. :o) I was able to help a someone out! Now that makes me feel good! I am an empath, and are able to help others with readings. Since my fibromyalgia has become worse, it has taken so much from me, just to try to do the "mind over matter," to help with my pain. It litterally zaps me. I do have good days, to where I am able to "recieve" things, to help others. Through a lot of concentration, I was able to help someone, and thats one of the best feelings ever! I'd much rather help someone, then ever hurt anyone. I'm a virgo, and thats just the way I am. :o) I wasn't in very much pain at all, yesterday. Things seem to be levaling out somehow in my body. Thats a very good thing to happen right now. It sure is giving me a break on all of that horrid pain. Which does consume me. It's just like a fight against me, and the fibromyalgia. But, I have a feeling that I will win this thing! :o) I will not give up until I do!

Tuesday, October 5, 2004

Sleep was great!

I finally got some sleep! It was very restless. I'm now wondering if I'm getting what my son has. With fibromyalgia, it's so hard to filter out what's not a part of it, and what's something else. I'm really feeling miserable this morning. Plus, it could have something to do with the weather we've been having. It's 27 degrees out! Way too cold for me! bbbuuurrr! My back is really in some pain. Thats where all of my pain began with all of this, so I usually expect it. Other than that, I don't know if anything else is in too much pain. I'm still numb! I finally know of someone else that has this problem as I do! They have a full body numbness with their fibromyalgia as well. I don't feel so weird anymore. My legs and ankles are not swelling anymore! YAY! My hands were last night. The reason might be for that, could be because I might have used too hot of water washing them. I don't know. They were pretty puffy, and red. They are fine now. I seen my daughter on line yesterday, and was able to talk to her. :o) It made my day. She has an appointment to get her first aultra sound done on the 25 of this month, and I want to be there with her! :o) I can't wait! At least I hope I can get down there to be with her, and to see the first photo of my grand baby. :o) I need to go. Byeeee!

Monday, October 4, 2004


Well.......I did get to bed at 4:30 this morning! I got up at 8:30. At least I was able to get some sleep. My physical therapist was just here. She told me how much better I have gotten since months ago! Plus, I told her I had a long day at the mall on Saterday. She couldn't even tell while messaging me. YAY! Plus all the weight I have lost. You can't see it, but I know it's gone, and thats all that matters. I just thought I would jot down an update. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~POOF~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sunday, October 3, 2004

Not sleeping......'s 1:11 right now. I can't get to sleep! I didn't take a nap today. I should be in bed! Everytime I lay down, I have a coughing "spell." When I'm up, I seem to be fine. I don't have a cold. My sinuses aren't draining, so I have no idea what's going on. I fell asleep for a few minutes watching t.v. earlier, but not enough for a good nights rest! If I could lay down, without coughing, I could sleep! Maybe this mouth wash I have to do, and the medicine I have to take, is doing it. I don't know, this hasn't happened until I had to take those. Just a speculation. Except for that, my day was a pretty good day, concerning my fibromyalgia pain. I was hurting pretty badly earlier, but then it seemed to ease up on me. Whew! I still haven't heard from my daughter. I can't get a hold of her by phone, because it was disconnected. So, since I don't have her boy friends cell number, I have to use aol and write letters. I'm going now. If you read this Nena, I love you and miss you very much. If that means anything to you.

I'm beat! :o)

Yesterday was a very full day! My mum, my sister and I went out to lunch, and then went to the mall. The mall has their own wheel chairs, and of course, I had my walker with me. The sister that went, is the one that has fibromyalgia as well. :o( I got a wheel chair, and I had her use my walker. I'm glad she did. I was really getting worried about her. She was in her first really big pains, and she needed to stop and rest. I told her to turn the walker around, and sit down. It helped her. :o) To actually see her this way, upsets me in so many ways. First of all, to see her go through, what I already know is very painful. And second, to think that I have a more severe case of this, and others see me the way I am, and go about their bussiness, and not at all help me out! How do they sleep at nights? I'm talking about my own family members. And thats the sad part, "family members!" The 3 of us seem to be all we have, and we help each other as much as we can. We did have fun, no matter what the obsticles were! :o) Today, I'm in a lot of pain. Even though I was in a wheel chair. It doesn't matter with this disease. I can walk, I can sit, I could be in bed, and still have the same pains! I wonder how my sister feels today? I sure hope not like me. Ouchie! I haven't heard from my daughter in a few days. I hope she's doing fine. I really miss her. And I mean "miss her," in a way of the way she used to be with me. She would at least write me a letter just to say she loved me, or hi. Like I said, I miss my daughter. Hi Nena..I love you, and my grandbaby!

Saturday, October 2, 2004

Up just a little too early!

I found out yesterday that I'm allgeric to my dentures! Of all things! I went to the dentist the other day because my jaws were hurting. I had no idea that I had also been hurting on the inside of my mouth as well! Which has now lead to me not being able to wear them any more until I see him next, in 3 weeks. This fibromyalgia stuff is really frustrating me. I'm so tiered of all the numbness through out my body, and I honestly don't feel anything until it's too late. He gave me Motrin 800 millagrams, and a mouth wash. They both make me tired! Gee...why wouldn't they....everything else does! Thats why I'm up so early. My fibromyalgia pain is still the same. Nothing new, or any surprises.....that I know of. Just like last year, I broke my ankle and didn't even know it, because I couldn't feel it. I feel a little cynical right now. I feel that my daughter is trying to use me as a scape goat. She can't use her father, because they're not speaking. I got 2 letters from her so far, and both of them have contradicted each other. If she needs to hang something on me, to make her situation better, then so be it. The stress is killing me. All I ever did was love her. And I will always, no matter what.

Friday, October 1, 2004

Very confused!

I am feeling a bit better today. I'm still having chest pains, but they aren't as bad as they were. Whew! I was pretty scared on Tuesday, I didn't want to end up at the hospital at all! My arm had pain, and that really scared me. Thats never happened to me before. My blood pressure must have been sky high. My fibromyalgia pain has been fine. Nothing new to add. Just the same, my back. I've lost weight these past few days! Thats really good! Not eating really helps! Imagine that! I did hear from my daughter yesterday. It was nice. I guess. I don't want to get into it. There's no point. At least I've heard from her, thats all that counts to me. I pray for her, and her unborn baby. I love her, and my grand baby. I have no plans today, except to just stay here and rest, like I have been doing. I don't think anyone really knows how my health has been these past few days. Except my mom. She's pretty worried. Oh well. Who cares? No one else does.