Friday, June 30, 2006

And still not sure....

Ok....I went to Middletown yesterday morning to see my new neurologist and to find out the results of my last MRI. He seen something when he was looking at the brain and stem. He said that he couldn't see any plaques/sheaths, but is very sure that I have progressive ms. He tested my reflexes and looked in my eyes. He seen something wrong when he did those as well. <sigh> I told him the "new" things that I have been experiancing. Yes.....those are apart of ms. He says that I have ms...but he needs to have it proven on a test. Then he can treat me with the right medicines. He wants me to go through more testings....which I'll be glad to endure....because he wants to find it...if that makes since. I do know that there is a small percentage of ms pateints that do not have the plaque/sheaths. I might be in that percentage. I had more blood tests...and I have to go through another visual evoked responce. The last time I had that, it blinded me for 3 days. Plus it hurts. After these tests, he wants me to have another spinal tap and another test to see how fast my brain responds and reacts to these little electrodes that give you a little shock. I've had that one before as well. Another eeg...because of my seizure disorder, and another emg! The last time I had that test left side didn't respond to the electrical shocks....and the right side did just a bit. Plus...I didn't even feel the large needle being poked in me! It looked painful....but I couldn't feel it. I really like this doctor...he is on top of things and doesn't want to have any stones unturned. I like that.
So back is still numb. It felt weird when my physical therapist was giving me the deep tissue massage on my back....I couldn't feel it! A weird feeling. So...I'm assuming that these injections stay for a few days. I'm glad about that! :o) I'll be seeing him in another few days. :o)
Thats all for now. :o) ASAP! (always say a prayer) God bless all of you! :o)

Thursday, June 29, 2006

I'm not sure yet....

I went to the pain clinic yesterday. It wasn't what I expected...but that doesn't matter. The doctor was very nice, and I liked him a lot. :o) Of course...I knew he would be "poking" on me and on my back! Ouchie! He gave me injections in the muslces in my back that were hurting pretty bad. Whew! That was an experiance! But...the pains in my muscles went away....the injections made them all numb! I lost count on how many he gave me at 5! I know there were a lot of them! At first he wanted me to come back in two weeks....then he changed his mind because of the severity of my back....I now go and see him again on the 5th of July. I'll be getting more injections. He also gave me Biofreeze. It's a topical medicine and he said that it should help the pain. I'll give it a try...because I'm not sure when the injections will go away, and when they do...all of the pain will come right back as fast as it all went away! Whew! Not looking forward to that. But at least I'm not in the pain I was in. Today I have another appointment to go see the new neurologist in Middletown. Now thats a long drive. I'll find out more on the progressive ms from him. So...thats going to be an all day event! The drive is what will take so long. <sigh> I'll keep posting more info when I come back. :o)

God bless all of you...and thank you for all of the support that I have been given! :o)

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Just a few things....

Yesterday was just another day for me....all I did was rest still. My lower back, hips and legs are still giving me some problems. Still having a time with walking. This will pass. :o) Today I go to the pain clinic for the first time. I don't know what to expect. I know it will help me. :o) My options are running out. :o)

My doctor did tell me that they might put me on some kind of a "drip" medicine. I'm not sure what that is...I think it's something that I can push a button and it will put medicine in me. I remember him telling me that he wanted to do that for me, but couldn't because he is only a family phycision. I'll find out today. :o) I've been taking Vicodine to help take the edge off the pain. It's helped a bit. Using my wheel chair really helps me! :o) It came just in time for me! :o) Praise God! :o)

Everyone else here are doing great! :o) It's so good to hear the laughter in this house once again! :o) My daughter and my grandson are very happy! And it really shows! :o) It's great! :o) They both went swimming yesterday for a bit. :o) My son found a new job that will pay him more! YAY! :o) My husband is doing so much better! :o) I'm so very proud of him! :o) I'm proud of all of my family! :o)
Thats all for now....Gentle hugs and God bless all of you! :o)

Monday, June 26, 2006

A beautiful weekend....

This weekend was what I needed....nice and sunny! :o) I hope it stays this way. :o) My husband started working in the front yard yesterday to fix the old wood that's framing the bushes and flowers. It really looks so much better now. He took it pretty easy this weekend....and I'm glad to see that. He really just needs to rest. But no one can tell him that. He was having some problems breathing yesterday, and is out of his inhaler and he refuses to go to his doctor to get another one. gggrrr! He does have a tank of oxigyn he can use if needed. :o)

I had a painful time the whole day yesterday. <sigh> I used my wheel chair all day...but the pain still over powered me. I could hardly walk. This morning my physical therapist came and boy did it hurt! Geesh! I know that it will help in time. I have an appointment on Wednesday to go to the pain clinic at 3:00. I don't know what to expect. It will help. Then on Thursday at 11:30, I have to go back to see a nuerologist in Middletown! Thats a long drive for me. He will tell me more about the ms. I basically spent the whole weekend in bed resting. I really couldn't do anything else. It's getting harder and harder to hide the pain I'm in. I know I shouldn't do that, but I'm used to doing it for so long. I'm working on that. :o)

My daughter had a great weekend! I'm so happy for her. :o) She really deserves this! :o) My grandson is feeling better as well. :o) Looks like more teeth on the bottom and the top are coming in! Ouchie! I had ordered a few things for my daughter...clothes...and some of the order came! I'm so excited...she really needs clothes. And with a new life ahead of her, she needs new find a job and/or school! I'm having fun shopping for her! lol :o) The other half of the shipment should come today! :o) I can't wait! :o)

I don't have anything planned today. I'm still in a lot of pain. Very limited on what I can do. My home health aid will be coming today as well. She helps me out a lot. I'm hoping I'll be able to get a nap in...I haven't been sleeping very good....again because of the pain. Just can't find a comfortable position. I'll try again! :o) If I have to, I'll try every bed in this house to see if I can get comfortable enough to sleep in! lol :o)

I will end this now. Nothing more to say. :o) Just keep your faith, and be strong! :o) And ALWAYS pray! :o) God hears you! :o)

Friday, June 23, 2006

Another rainy day.....

It's raining once again. We do need it though, but it could let up on the thunder and lightening! eeek! I don't like that part. :o)
My grandson has a new cousin! She was born yesterday! Her name is Gracie. :o)

My grandson is teething still and isn't a happy camper right now. The poor thing. With it raing out...we can't take him out to play in the back yard. :o( We're going to have to get creative! :o)

Well....I was able to get 7 hours of sleep last night! YAY! I'm still having a lot of cramping....getting used to that.....and I've been noticing a few more things that might have to do with my heart. I'll right them down so I don't forget to tell the doctor. I really wasn't feeling up to par yesterday. I pull through no matter what! :o) Having faith tends to do that.....gets you through everything! :o)

I need to go now....God bless all of you! :o)

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Through the valley

Through every lonesome valley

we have help and a sweet refuge,

For every trial of  life on earth,

We have one who will always be true.


Through every valley, there is hope

as on the Lord, we depend,

There is no other to walk beside us,

Jesus is our dearest friend.


As eagles soar over the mountains

and glide swiftly through the air,

Your spirit can rise above the mountain heights,

As the Blessed Lord delivers you from despair.


There is hope with the Lord in the valley

as each day, He goes before us to lead,

For with earthly trials,  we have a testimony

of  times spent with our blessed Jesus, at His feet.


His power and might is all sufficient

for whatever you may be facing today,

if on His strong arms you lean,

and let Him guide you along life's way.


He'll bring you out of the valley

as you trust in His grace so divine,

It's wonderful to walk with the Savior,

and in the valleys of life, have great peace of mind.

Wooo Hooo.....!

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal is toward anyone in specific.....I've had this journal since aol came out with them, and I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess,and inhopes it might help someone else as I do. And if you might take an entry that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life......

YAY! Today is the first day of summer! :o)

I had a great night of sleep last night! Yessss! I had 8 hours! YAY! It's been so long! :o) I think a lot is off my mind now, since the tests I had. Whew! I'm so thankful that it's not congestive heart failure! There is still something wrong with my heart and I have to go through more tests...but at least I now know it isn't what the other doctor thought it was. The shaking is almost still feel like a chiuaua! lol I was given a card after my tests that I have to carry with me at all times for 3 days! I guess the dye that was put in me was of course nucular, but it also will set off alarms and police radars! lol So...if I go anywhere, I can set them off! If I do, I have this card to show why I did! :o) After all the things that I was told after it was injected in'd think I'd glow too! :o) Too funny! :o) Of son wanted to take me to the air port to see if I set their alarms off! lol :o) I said no. :o) I knew he's be the one to want to do that! lol My little pool that I got last year has been filled. I got in it in the late afternoon. :o) I had a lot of fun! My kids and my son's girl friend and my grandson and my husband were all out back having fun! :o) My grandson has his own little pool as well. :o) Too cute! :o) I didn't over extend myself being out in the sun. I've learned from last years mistake.

And right now.....there is a storm going on! Geesh! I was hoping for another nice day. :o) Oh well....the plants need the rain. :o) I really don't have too much planned for today. My home health aid will be coming. She will help me get a few things done. :o)
I'd better get off of here! Whew! Now it's lightening and thundering out pretty bad! God bless all of you! :o)

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

It's finally over......

This morning were the tests for my heart. I glad thats all over with. Of course the one that really bothered me the most was the enduced stress test. I feel like a shaking chiuaua! That was one of the weirdest feelings I've gone through! lol Sitting while my heart was pounding out of my chest! Yikes! I did have the same pains that I have here at home, and told them what I was experiancing. My husband and my mom went with me. After all of the tests were done, I was to wait, and I found out the results. Great news! I don't have congestive heart failure! YAY!!!! :o) But....there is something there still that needs to continue another look at by the cardiologist. Not a problem! :o) Praise the Lord! :o) Thank you for all of your prayers! God bless all of you! :o)

Sunday, June 18, 2006

About stuff......

I've been resting a lot this I haven't put an entry in since Wednesday. I'm on a new medicine that kind of makes me feel tired. So, I've been in my bed most of the time. <sigh> The medication is for my arthritis-my back, and the fibromyalgia. It's suppose to help relax my muscles. I don't notice any differances. But it might take alittle more time to get in my system. :o) My husband has been doing so much better this week. :o) I'm still worried about him though. I'm so proud of him as well....he's really cut down on a lot of things! :o)

So much has gone on still this week! I've asked for it to stop...and it hasn't! Someone has gotten into my daughter's and I's other journal! We don't know how it was done....but I'm pretty sure who it is. I reported the other persons journal that my daughter and I feels that it is. No matter how the both of us try to block this person, they still get into them! Not very nice!

I'm just so tired of everyone elses drama and game playing! And I don't know how many times I have to tell everyone that I can not have this much stress on me! And my daughter can't take much more of their games as well! What they are actually doing is pushing her and I further away from them because of their games and drama!

I like that saying....because it's so true! I'm hoping that today will be better. :o) It's Father's it will be! :o)
We don't have anything planned today. Maybe a cook out tonight! :o) Sounds good to me! :o), when I write in my other journal...I'm going to put more 'key words' in it like I did yesterday, and thats how I found out that this person got into my journal! And this is all over my daughter breaking up with her boy friend! I say...move on and get a life! Geesh! My daughter and I can't take anymore of this. She has to take care of the baby, and if she's stressed out, the baby feels it....and thats not good and then I get pretty mad! This person only thinks of themself, and no one else! Obviously! I don't understand why some people can be this way.
Well....yesterday my husband and I went to some garage sales! :o) I haven't done that in years! It was fun! :o) We were looking for a table so my daughter can put her t.v. on, and we came home with a bunch of stuff for our grandson! LOL :o) We didn't find a we just got a few others good buys! lol :) Just doing that wore me out, I came home and had to get my legs up and rest! I couldn't believe wasn't that long ago that I could walk that far...which wasn't very far at all. <sigh> I took a nap to get some energy back.
Well....I guess this is all for now. My husband wants me to go with him to get some coffee...I'm out! YIKES! :o)

Happy Fathers Day!

Happy Fathers Day!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006


.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal is toward anyone in specific.....I've had this journal since aol came out with them, and I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess,and inhopes it might help someone else as I do. And if you might take an entry that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life......

Sunday evening, my husband came in my bedroom and asked if he could lay down on my bed....he didn't look good at all. I told him of course and he didn't even have to ask! Then all of the sudden he was having major chest pains and could get his breath! :o( That happened a few times, then he wouldn't let me help him. :o( My best friend had called, and I told her what was happening and she brought over a nebulizer because he has asthma as well. He was out back on the deck and could move! :o( He still couldn't breath right! He used the nebulizer and it didn't help. We both were able to finally get him to go to the er! He is a very stubborn and hard headed person! I was up all night with him at the er....and they checked him out and said that he was ok! UH...Yea right! :o( His blood pressure was very high! They told him not to go to work the next day...but he did anyway. I was so worried about him being at work. I had a doctors appointment to go to, so I was up all night. Then I started getting chest pains again. I didn't tell anyone until they got worse. Since it was in the evening...I just went to bed. I had a hard time sleeping because of the pain. I had the cardiologist I thought I'd wait until I seen him. My husband finally took yesterday off work, and he went with me. At first, he told me because of my age he wasn't going to run any tests on me....they did do an EKG and nothing showed up. So he was going on that until he started asking me questions. I told him about the one night, and of all the pain that I've been experiancing ever since. I explained what I felt that night. Then he changed his mind and I now am going to go through a echocardiogram and an induced stress test. What happened to me wasn't good. Everytime I have chest pains like that, it's making my heart weaker. Yikes! My tests are next Tuesday...he said he wanted them done as soon as possible. I'm ready for them now. I just wish my husband would have the same tests that I am. He's too stubborn. Then yesterday, my daughter's friend came for a visit. She lives in Pittsburg. Her boy friend and her baby came as well. :o) It was so nice to finally meet them. :o) My husband and I really liked them. :o) Next time I hope they can stay longer. :o) I took a lot of pictures while they were here. :o) We went to Applebee's for dinner. That was fun! By the time we got home...I was so beat! For the last 2 days, it's felt like I've been walking in hip deep water! My right leg is still pretty swollen. It was good to get out and do things! :o) I loved seeing my daughter so happy! :o) After she came back from taking them to the bus station....her ex boy friend calls her and upset her big time!!!! :o( This seems to be an everyday accurance, and myself...I'm really getting tired of the games being played!!!!! If it continues, I'll not answer the phone! And I mean it! I know she can't take anymore of this, and I sure can't either! It's ridiculous! Today all I have planned is to rest!!! :o) I really need it! :o) I'm still trying to make up the rest that I need. It hasn't been easy. I'm very worried about my husband and my daughter and grandson. Things are going to have to change around here......none of us needs this extra stress being brought on us! This is all for now. God bless you all! :o)

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Anything and just about nothing....

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal is toward anyone in specific.....I've had this journal since aol came out with them, and I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess,and inhopes it might help someone else as I do. And if you might take an entry that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life......

I love this's very relaxing to me. Today all I've done is relax and not over exert myself. I took a nap as well. :o) Lately it just seems as though I can't get enough sleep. I have an appointment tomorrow to see my arthritis doctor in Englewood again. I'll find out the blood tests that were taken from my last appointment. On Tuesday, I have an appointment to see the cardiologist for the first time. I honestly can't wait. I want to know what's going on.
My husband has been working on getting more things done around the house for my daughter and grandson. :o) The ceiling fan that he put on the front porch looks so nice. :o) There's still a few more things that need to get done tonight.
I've still been having pains. And of course....still having the cramping from the fibromyalgia as well. That'll never go away. :o) The chest pains and the ms stuff has kind of put the fibro pain way down on my pain list! :o) Good I guess. :o)
I suppose thats all for now. God bless you all! :o)

Above The Clouds

The Sun Is Always Shining There are times when gloom or darkness causes us to momentarily lose sight of the light. Although it is at these times when the thought of the sun can help us. Its warm, glowing rays brighten even our thoughts, and it's good to remember that despite appearances the sun is shining right now. We may not be able to see it at this very moment, but if clouds block our view, they are only filtering the sun's light temporarily. If darkness has fallen, we know that the sun is still shining at this very moment somewhere not too far away, and it's only a matter of time before it will shine on us again.

When we remember that the sun is still shining, we know that things are still in motion in the universe. Even if life feels like it is at a standstill, sometimes all we need to do is have faith and wait for the time when everything is in its perfect place. Or we can we can choose to follow the cues of the sun and continue doing our work and shining our light, even when we can't yet see results. In doing so we exercise our patience, making sure we are prepared when opportunity knocks and all other elements are in their right and perfect places.

The sun also reminds us that our own shining truth is never extinguished. Our light shines within us at all times, no matter what else occurs around us. Though the sun gives us daily proof of its existence, sometimes our belief in our own light requires more time. If we think back, however, we can find moments when it showed itself and trust that we will see it again. Like the sun, our light is the energy that connects us to the movements of the universe and the cycles of life and is present at all times, whether we feel its glow or not.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Just about this and that......

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal is toward anyone in specific.....I've had this journal since aol came out with them, and I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess,and inhopes it might help someone else as I do. And if you might take an entry that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life......

My day yesterday was a bit better. I still haven't told anyone about the other things that I've been experiancing....I just don't feel the need to. I may be wrong, but I know whats going on. What I did yesterday was I pushed myself on purpose to see what would happen. I guess I'm doing alittle experiment on myself, on my own. I was right on what I thought. Bummer! But at least now I know.
My husband is putting up a ceiling fan on the porch for me today. :o) It really is looking so nice. I put my candles out last night and rearranged my porch....It's like my little sancturary. :o) Thats where I go to unwind and relax. :o) And when it's hot out, I'll now have a fan to help keep me cool. :o) Last night my husband and I moved some things out of this room to make room for my t.v and stereo. He's going to move it in this room for me today. He and my son also moved my armoir in here for me. Whew! Then my daughter will have her bed in my old room! :o) Now finally this should all be done this weekend. :o) YAY! A lot of work!
Well...I'll keep you updated on other daughter just told me to get dressed! LOL I guess she wants me to go somewhere with her! :o) I guess I will! LOL :o)
God bless all of you! :o)

Friday, June 9, 2006

Yesterday was a blur.....

The whole day yesterday seemd like a blur.....a dream/nightmare! I honestly don't even want to talk about what I learned yesterday....that alone upsets me. Now that I know that I didn't have pluerisy....I've had a lot of pain everyday since the first attack I had. There are so many different things to even list. But it made me do a lot of thinking as well. Now I know what the pains I have been and still are experiancing are from. Good Grief! I didn't tell my family about that part need to keep telling them things like this. I know I don't even want to hear about it. I didn't have a very good day....I was still having "those" pains, plus my back was absolutly killing me. I'll get through this. :o) I'm holding onto my faith in God to get me through this. :o) I don't really have any other updates that I want to talk this is all for now. :o) God Bless all of you and keep me in your prayers. :o)

Thursday, June 8, 2006

Update on my health.....

I had a doctors appointment this morning. I found out several things that I wasn't ready to usual. I do have good news to report about my's back down to being normal! YAY! :o)
I also found out more about my heart. He is sending me to a heart specialist now. It's a bit worse then I even began to think in the first place. I haven't talked to my family yet, so I'm not going to write it in here yet. And I never did have pluerisy. I also found out about that stress test and why I should have had it the day my other doctor wanted me to. I wish now I would have. This doctor explained it better to me this morning. He is also having me go to the physical therapy at the hospital for the warm water exercise to try and help my back. It's really killing me right now after he touches it to check on the progress.
All I can say right now is that I can not have any stress what so ever in my life right now. I choose to live! God bless all of you. :o)

Wednesday, June 7, 2006

Be careful of what you just might come back to you....

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal is toward anyone in specific.....I've had this journal since aol came out with them, and I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess,and inhopes it might help someone else as I do. And if you might take an entry that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life......
I was going through some things of mine and I came across something I've had for years. I kept it because I feel that it's very true. I found it in the news paper. 
                      Charactirstics of Trustworthy People
1-They don't lie to you.
2-They don't stab you in the back.
3-They stand up for you.
4-They don't talk behind your back.
5-They help you with positive ways to improve.
6-They don't put you down.
7-Feel comfortable when you're around.
8-You're not an addiction in their life.
9-Supportive of what you say.
10-The relationship is not one sided.
My favorite...They're not manipulative!
It seems as though no matter whatI do to help someone when they ask for just isn't ways of telling them the truth when they ask me a question! The truth hurts....just accept it...and move on with your life. Simple! So...I am only guessing on why I am not getting asked anymore questions! Fine with me....I've been moving on. Because thats just what you do. You do nothing but waste your life away if you don't.
We are getting My daughter and my grandson's things put away and in order. Today...I need to get a few things done in my room to make room for my daughter for her new bedroom. :o) Things are going great! :o) My grandson is doing great now and my daughter is much more relaxed as well. :o) It's so great to see my daughter "back" once again! YAY! She hasn't been herslelf for about 4 years. It was sad for us to see. And now...she has seen the difference as well! :o) Good girl! :o) I'm very proud of her. :o)
Things in my little "health world" have been pretty much the same. The pain hasn't went away. ggrrr! This morning I almost passed out. I got real dizzy and had tunnel vision...I just grabbed on to my walker and held on. I got in my wheel chair and used it. I'm so thankful that God has blessed me with the wheel has really been helping me. :o) Godhas really blessed my family! :o) Other then that dizzy spell...I guess I'm ok. :o) My home health aid will be here soon to help me. :o) I guess I need to get off of here. :o) God bless all of you! :o) Choose to live and move on in your life! :o)

Tuesday, June 6, 2006

Not such a good day......

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal is toward anyone in specific.....I've had this journal since aol came out with them, and I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess,and inhopes it might help someone else as I do. And if you might take an entry that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life......

Well......yesterday just was not a good day for me pain wise. My back was hurting me so badly, I could barely do anything! I even had 3 of my prescription pain patches on my spine! It didn't even take the edge off! I did however, rest most of the day in bed to try and help the such luck this time. I can actually feel it getting worse. It feels as though the spurs are on all of my vertabras and more of my spine is deteurating. I had no strength at all. I went to get more blood tests done yesterday as well. I've been having so many, I forget what this blood test was for. I'm still having flare ups with the ms. Not fun. Very different then the fibromyalgia flare ups. ASAP!
Today will be a better day. :o) I went to bed pretty early last night. 8:00! I was able to get 7 hours of sleep! Yes! Boy did I need that! :o) Since I'm not able to use the patches today....12 hours on and 12 hours off.....I knew I had to get as much rest as I could to help the pain. It didn't help my back pain, but it of course helped everything else. :o) Whew! :o) Just please keep us in your prayers. :o)
God bless all of you! :o)

Monday, June 5, 2006

Enough is enough!

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal is toward anyone in specific.....I've had this journal since aol came out with them, and I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess,and inhopes it might help someone else as I do. And if you might take an entry that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life......
I was told just last week by someone that they really loved my daughter just like their own. And was told that my daughter is like a daughter she never had. Even though she had broken up with her boy friend....she still told me that she felt that way. That made me feel pretty good. Well....for some odd my daughter seems to be a bad person, to this same person that told me these things! I'm confused! And so is she! Enough is enough with all the bad talk and bad things that you have done to my daughter! Because you're not only hurting her...but my grandson as well...that you say you love so very much! When she is as upset as she is now...he feels it too! :o( All she did was break up with her boy friend! Everyone does it! It's not like they are married. Geesh! Get a grip...please!
Please pray for my daughter and my grandson as they are both going through so much right now. God bless you all! :o)

Saturday, June 3, 2006

Just a little update.

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal is toward anyone in specific.....I've had this journal since aol came out with them, and I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess,and inhopes it might help someone else as I do. And if you might take an entry that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life......
Again....yesterday was another one of those days. I think I'm having a flare up with the ms. Thank the Lord I have my wheel chair now! :o) My hands are really cramping up on me...and my left hand seems to be the one thats worse. It keeps wanting to "close up" on me. As if I'm closing my own hand! I've just been doing my best with trying to exercise them to keep them both open. Both of my legs feel as if they are as tight as they can get, and I'm having way more muscle spasms then normal. Yikes! I layed down yesterday morning at 9:30, and didn't wake up until 1:00! I know I really need the rest. I'm still not sleeping very good at night. I guess I have too much on my mind still. I've been praying! :o)
God bless you all! :o)

Friday, June 2, 2006

Yada Yada Yada.......

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal is toward anyone in specific.....I've had this journal since aol came out with them, and I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess,and inhopes it might help someone else as I do. And if you might take an entry that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life......

uuuggghhhhh!!!!! What a day it was yesterday! My physical therapist had came and done the deep tissuse massage. Well...somewhere in between Tuesday and yesterday, my whole body became all numb now! She started rubbing in one place, and I just thought it was just that area....nope....I couldn't feel her hands, fingers, nothing! All I could feel is the pressure of her hands! I told her about it, and thankfully she's a nurse, because with having so many different things wrong going on...she said that it sounds like the MS getting a bit worse! Yikes! So....I guess that explains a few things that I've done....and it really didn't hurt. :o( On Wednesday, I had stubbed all of my toes on my left foot and I thought to myself that it should have hurt me. But it didn't. I know I've been having more problems with both of my legs going numb on me without knowing it. When I get up to walk, I can't feel them or my feet. Which makes it hard to walk. With having the fibromyalgia, ms, and all the back problams....I never know anymore whats what. So...I've kind of had a lot on my mind lately...maybe alittle more then I should. But I can't help but think at times...whats next? I still keep pushing on everyday. I choose to live my life and not let what I have get the best of me. It ain't going to happen! I keep praying to God. :o) I keep my faith strong. Thats what gets me through this. :o) Please put me on your prayer lists. :o) I haven't been getting much sleep lately and have had some added stress. I had some more chest pain from my pluerisy...still trying to get over that too. I'm going to call one of my doctors today to get my records from him. A copy of them....I need to get them for my new doctor...and I'm going to go through them myself and see what is in there. My family knows which doctor and what I'm looking for. And if I find it....ggggrrrr! Last husband came over to me to give me a hug....and he stepped onmy left foot with his shoes on, and I didn't feel it except for the pressure and it didn't hurt! He realized that he had stepped on me, and jumped back and kept apoliging...but I told him that I didn't feel it. I told him about how my whole body is now numb and I think that upset him. He gave me a big hug and said how sorry he was. I told him it wasn't his fault. :o) No ones! :o) God gave all of this to me for a reason, and I except it. :o) I've been using my whell chair. :o) I'm still having a bit of problems know and then! :o) I deffinitly think I do need a helmet! :o) lol It has really been helping my back and legs so much! :o) By the way...I want to clearify one thing....I know that there are others out there that get way less sleep then I do....but when I don't get sleep, it does make what I have worse, and acts up and I have a lot more pain then usual. Thats why I mention my sleep.
I made home made beef and noodles last night and invited my daughter and her ex over for super! :o) Thats her favorite that I make. :o) I had my son help with peeling potatoes because my hands are also cramping and gripping inward. They didn't come over. :o( But I think she said they might tonight for leftovers! :o) Thats good. I don't want him to ever feel that he is not welcomed here. Because he is. :o) All I want is for the both of them to be happy. And I support the both of them. ;o) I guess I've rambled on enough. lol ASAP! :o) God bless all of you! :o)

Thursday, June 1, 2006

A bit upset.

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal is toward anyone in specific.....I've had this journal since aol came out with them, and I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess,and inhopes it might help someone else as I do. And if you might take an entry that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life......
I am a bit upset over a few things for my daughter. Maybe it's because I don't feel that it's right and it's my daughter. She has been in a relationship now for about 4 years now, and has decided to break up with her boy friend. She was unhappy. For a long time, they've been trying to work things out between them. It came down to where it just wasn't working. The baby doesn't need to hear the fighting that was going on. :o( It did affect him. :o( My daughter doesn't want that for her baby anymore as well. It took her a long time to make this decision. She just wants to be happy and not miseriable. The other day, the both of them, my daughter and her boy friend came to an agreement together, and broke it off. daughter came over to visit. She was on line and was bombarded by one of his family members about her decision. :o( From what she was telling my daughter, his whole family now feels that my daughter is a bad person for making this decision. :o( It's not like they were married...and it's not like others haven't been divorced with their children being young. She is not a bad person for doing this. Everyone that lives up here and has been around them...knows and have wittnessed for themselves what has gone on in front of us. No...we nor his family do not live with them so no one really knows what goes on in their house. Except for the two of them. But what I and others have seen is enough for me. I'm very proud of her for all this time of trying to work her relationship out. I'm proud of him as well. What I'd like to know is why then do they feel that my daughter is such a bad person? No one on my daughter's side up here thinks he is a bad person for making the same decision. I don't get it, and it hurts me to see how my daughter is hurting going through this break up and now his family thinking that she's a bad person and now has turn on her on a dime. Makes no sense to me. We have not done that to their son, nor would we. When my daughter went home from visiting me, she told me that she was telling him what his familyhad said to her and she just broke down in tears. :o( She doesn't understand all of this either. In my opinion....I feel that it's between the two of them...not his family and the two of them! They need to stay out of it and let them work on their own decisions. It really hurts me to see her go through this. It just needs to stop! Everyone that knows my daughter, and the relationship that she was in...knows that she is not a bad person for making this decision. If anyone feels they need to back me up on this and make a comment, go ahead.
God bless all of you!