Sunday, April 30, 2006
Friday, April 28, 2006
My daughter and my grandson spent the night with me again last night! :o) I love that of course! I'm still hoping that she will make a desicion that will be the best for her and my grandson. :o) I love them way too much to see them go through what they have been.
ASAP!!!! God bless all of you and gentle hugs! :o)
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
I've been feeling better after I stopped that new medicine. Whew! It was really messing with me and my sleep. It's suppose to help with my restless leg syndrome...but what it did was made my whole body feel as though it was going through restless leg syndrome! Whew! Not good....I couldn't sleep at all! Bad medicine!
I have an appointment to fill out an application for a handicap appartment at Piqua Village on the 2nd. I don't know of any other places in town that has handicap appartments. :o( That place (Piqua Village) is like "Dodge City!" Yikes! But at least the handicap appertments are in the front and away from all of that bad stuff! If anyone might know of any places here in my town, please let me know. :o) I would apprecaite it. :o) There is a house for rent right around the corner on this block....but I don't know if I could do that.
Thats all for now....keep praying for me. :o) God bless all of you! :o)
Monday, April 24, 2006
Today I have a lot of thinking to do as to what I will be doing for my future. My physical therapist will be here and my home health aid, so I can ask them a few questions. They should know some resources for me. That will help a great deal.
Enough for now. God bless all of you! :o)
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Friday, April 21, 2006
Yesterday those new meds. had me so dizzy and my head felt so heavy! Geesh! Just what I need....more side effects. I wasn't even able to do my volunteer work last night either. :o( They understood why. :o) Very nice people. :o)
I guess thats all for now....just really needed to talk and get things off my chest. God bless all of you! :o)
Thursday, April 20, 2006
I suppose thats all for now. God bless you all. :o)
Monday, April 17, 2006
I have another doctors appointment this morning to find out my results of my EEG I had done last week. Oh boy...I've began not to like going for results of any of my tests anymore...latelty they've been nothing but more wrong with me. Yes, even though I have a positive out look on all of this. It's hard to write words down and for others reading it to not actually feel what I'm really feeling, like happy, positive, and the like. I just write what I'm going through. And yes, I still pray eveyday for strength and to be healed. I have all that I have for a reason. And I know this. There are days that I feel so alone....even though I know that God is by myside, I still need human contact. I'm still only human. I need more positive people around me. I know that I have my mom, my daughter and my son and my best friend. But they all have their lives as well. I sit here day in and day out alone either on this computer or in my bed....thats been my life. I can't do much of anything else. I've lost so much more abilities this past month. The list would be shorter just to tell what I can still do. I'm moarning my losses and trying to move on. My incontinance is so much more worse now. I urinate myself so many times a day now. Not fun. The pain that I have in my back is so unbareable! I only feel like screaming. Even when I put a pain patch on my spine, it doesn't really do anything. But I still try them for just incase for a moment of painfree. I'd be so excited if that happened. One moment! Thats all I ask for. It's gotten much worse now when I stand up or walk. My back is so weak, I bend forward. Then I have to sit down. That doesn't give me much time to do much of anything. Well...the "things" that I can still do. My energy gets zapped everyday. When my daughter and my grandson come over, I can't play or hold him like I used to. :o( My heart hurts over that one. :o( He doesn't understand. :o( I just get so weak, I start to shake at times. I don't know whats next in this health hell, but I would like for it to be something that they will give me the right meds. for to help me.
I did get the job that I wanted on line, volunteering! YAY! I can't wait to start. It will at least give me something to do with my time....time...I seem to have a lot of that lately.
Thats all. God bless all of you.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Thats all for now....nothing new to add. God bless you all. :o)
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Sunday, April 9, 2006
Last night, I went to Jim's mom's house for a candle party. It lasted a lot longer then I expected....so I was so worn out by the time I got home. :o( I really over did myself. :o( I'm pretty weak this morning and a bit shaky as well. I still feel as though I could have a seizure at anytime. Nothing yet! :o) It'll happen when it happens. :o)
Thats all for now....God bless you all! :o) I know He has me! :o)
Saturday, April 8, 2006
When God closes one door...He opens an even better door! :o) ( which I find funny whats I know is going to happen in the near future with someone )....my daughter and her boy friend found another home! YAY! :o) It's so much better then the one someone else bought that they were going to get. I'm so glad they found this one....it is beautiful and in their price range! YES! What a blessing! I know they got the better end of the deal! lol :o) They love it! :o) A beautiful large fenced in back yard and a garage as well! :o) A nice front porch for them to sit on in the summer! :o) Just perfect! :o) Prayers He hears! :o)
I suppose this is all for now. I really need to lay down right now. Thank you for your commments! :o) Keep them coming! :o) God Bless you! :o)
Friday, April 7, 2006
I believe that GOD has put a heaviness on our hearts. There is something out there that my daughter really needs and may not be able to afford it. So.... with this, I have prayed and we believe GOD has lifted the heaviness when we prayed. We know that we can get so much by helping them, but money will never give us the pleasure that the smiles of their new home can give. Just to see the joy it will bring, is a good enough price for us. We are so happy for them and so very proud of them. We feel if you want out of debt, help someone else get out of debt. It's all about GIVING. Give your love, thoughts, prayers, time, whatever God is speaking to you to give - Just do it and watch what GOD does in his favors.
I love the Lord and I want to be the BEST CHRISTIAN I can be, I want to sew as many seeds as I can to bring those in darkness through to the light and I know through our Lord Jesus he will help me to do this.Love those who seem hard to love, help those who can't seem to get out of their own. Let GOD deal with their revelations........your job is to LOVE !!!!!! Find it in your heart and prayer to love one another as you would yourself. The waiting game - it's the LORD's test of patience. Something I am in dire need of like my medical equiptment to help my health and my duaghter's first house. But I will pass this test. Be STILL, What would Jesus do? He would help out his fellow man and neighbor. Would he stand by and watch someone in dire need go without, while you have all your needs and wants? In time.....patience is what it is. What could be better then something for me.....I know...seeing my daughter getting her needs met. :o) We as a family have so much love and happiness. To me, happiness is believing in God, loving someone that's not always easy to love, Giving when your heart tells you to, having lots of everything you dream of....happiness is anything you want it to be....you just have to want it. :o) Even though when you have to work hard for your needs. My daughter's boy friend works his butt off for his family. Because he wants to give them their needs. You have to work hard for what you need. Need and want are two very different things. God knows what you "need." And thats what you live off of...your needs..not your "wants" or living off of someone else. After praying with my daughter...we have felt the heaviness lift! :o) God bless you all...and thank you all for your comments...have a great day! :o)
Thursday, April 6, 2006
The Art of Friendship.....
The first step in the art of friendship is to be a friend; then making friends takes care of itself.
To be a friend, one should start by being a friend to himself, by being true to his highest and best and by aligning himself with the enduring values of human life that make for growth and progress.
To be a friend, one should strive to be *like the shadow of a great rock in a weary land*, to be a source of refuge and strength to those who walk in darkness.
To be a friend, one should believe in the inherent goodness of men and in their potential greatness; he should treat one in a big spirit, expectant of a noble response.
To be a friend, one should strive to lift people up, not cast them down; to encourage, not discourage; to set an example that will be an inspiration to others.
To be a friend, one should be sensitively responsive to the dreams and aims of others and should show sincere appreciation for the contributions others make to the enrichment of his life.
To be a friend, one should practice the companionship of silence and the magic of words that his speech may build and not destroy, help and not hinder.
To be a friend, one should close his eyes to the faults of others and open them to his own.
To be a friend, one should not attempt reform, but should strive only to make others happy if he can.
To be a friend, one should be himself, he should be done with hypocrisy, artificiality and pretense, he should meet and mingle with people in quiet simplicity and humility.
To be a friend, one shouldbe tolerant, he should have an understanding heart and a forgiving nature, knowing all men stumble now and then, and that he who never made a mistake never accomplished anything.
To be a friend, one should join hands with all people who are working for great principles, great purposes and great causes; he should put hisshoulder to the wheel to help achieve common goals.
To be a friend; one should go more than halfway with his fellow men; he should greet others first and not wait to be greeted; he should radiate a spirit of overflowing good will.
To be a friend; one should remember that we are human magnets - what we give - we get.
To be a friend, one should recognize that no man knows all the answers, and that he should add each day to his knowledge of how to live the friendly way.
...............My favorite is the second to the last paragraph! :o)
My day was spent in pain, and a bit hurt and upset for my daughter. Stress sure dosen't help matters any with my body. But...as long as others get what they want, I guess thats all that matters.
Need to go now, my daughter is here and she needs some help right now. God bless you all.
Wednesday, April 5, 2006
But....I feel that yesterday was also one of the worse days for me with my body. The pain was tremenous. My back was the worse. My upper body and my legs and hips were so weak, I could barely get around. I felt as if I was going to just snap in half. If that makes since? I really don't even feel up to going to my doctors appointment this morning. If I do, I'm going to have to use my wheel chair. Because I already know I won't be able to walk that much.
I got a call from my nursing agency yesterday letting me know that my home health aid would be changed! The new one will be coming Thursday.
This morning isn't a good morning at all. I'm still very weak and in a lot of pain as well.
This is all for now. God bless you all... and please keep the comments coming. :o)
Tuesday, April 4, 2006
This morning I'm feeling pretty weak again. My physical therapist came, and she told me again that I really need to use soup cans to exercise with to keep my upper arm muscles. I told her what I do, and she that it isn't enough! Yikes! I asked about my upper leg strength and no, walking isn't going to help them. So, I'm losing their muscle mass faster, and thats why they are weaker. That explains why the wheel chair comes into play. duh! :o)
Tomorrow morning I have an appointment with my sleep specialist at 9:30. I honestly don't know what he can do to help me out anymore. He's so nice. Fatigue goes along with what I have, so I doubt if he can help with that, unless he puts me through another sleep test.
It's such a pretty day out today. :o) I'm going to take photo's of my daughter. I did this a few years back, and we had so much fun doing it! It's like a photo shoot for the both of us! I miss having those so much. :o) Oh well. That was the past for me. So I'm going to be on the other end of the camera and take photos of her! :o) Have a great day and God bless you all and thank you for all your comments. :o)Please...you can leave a comment.... :o)
Monday, April 3, 2006
Yes, I'm still in a lot of pain still this morning. It's just apart of my life...me. This is me. I'm very happy with me. As soon as I find out the other medical things that I have, I will accept them and move on. Stay out of the stagnint. Today I don't have much planed. I do know that I will be resting. :o) Please...keep praying, God does hear us all. :o) Thank you for all of your comments and please keep them coming. :o) Have a great day! :o)
Sunday, April 2, 2006
Ok...this time change is for the birds...I'm already mixed up on when to take my meds. :o) Geesh! Now, my body will have to get used to it as well....and that will take probably a week or two. :o)
I did, however, sleep pretty good last night. YES! :o) I know I really need it for my physical and mental strength. One of the hardest things for me to do is to ask for help. Lately I've noticed that I've been having to ask. I'm usually the one that helps others. And now the tables have been turned. I know I have others out there praying for me through this tough time, as I am as well. God gave all of this to me for a reason. He doesn't give people anything that they can't handle. And I keep telling myselfe that. I can handle this! Today is one of those days where I really feel pretty low. I'm not able to do much at all today. I'm in a lot of pain as well as my strength in my body is very low. I'm feeling pretty restricted I guess. A weird feeling. My husband and I had a good talk last night about what is going on with me lately. He's doing his best to get this house fixed for me to get around in. He told me that he's going to put a ramp out back first, then work on one for the front porch. The only thing left then are the basement steps. Those are the last thing on his list. I agree. :o) I so appreciate what he is doing for me....much more than the work on the house. :o) He told me when I find out the other thing thats wrong with me that no matter what it could be, he will still be by my side through it all! :o) You don't know what that meant to me when he said that! :o) By now...other men might have left me by now. He's also been trying to quite two things that he has an adiction to. First he's working on quiting smoking, and he's been doing great! I'm so proud of him! :o) Then he said as soon as thats under control, he will work on quiting his drinking!!!! YAY! :o) I'm so very proud of him! :o) I've been praying! :o) God hears me! :o)
Right now and in the evening yesterday, I felt so alone. I know I'm not, but the feeling is very overwhelming. So many things have been just rushing through my head. My life has gone from one extreme to the other! I used to be a very active and out going person, and now to this. It's kind of hard to swollow at times. Thats what gets me down....trying to do something that I just did last week, and findingout that I'm not able to anymore. Just the loss of it all. And having to realize that this is really how I'm going to be living for the rest of my life. And I'm only 42. Like I've said before.....when you are young, and you are taught the things about when you get older and grown up, your not taught about things like this, so it's a big "hit in the face" when this sort of thing happens to you. Thankfully through all of this, my children and grandson have and will be taught about it. So maybe no surprises for them. That life will through you a curve ball sometimes. and then you have to deal with it when and if it does happen. I guess I just need to talk....sorry for rambling on and on. :o) I'm sitting here alone, like always and just needed to get some things off my chest. :o)
I still have a few things that really need to get done, and I am not able to do it. I've started on them, but am not able to finish them now. Both my bedroom and this room. <sigh> Not that much more to finish up, just getting it done. Maybe I need more ideas as well. Oh well. :o)
I suppose I'm done for now. I feel better just typing. I guess I feel that how can anyone else understand what I'm feeling and what I'm going through. Who knows?
God bless you all and thank you for all of your comments. :o) I hope you have a wonderful day! :o)
Saturday, April 1, 2006
Well...I guess I'm done whinning! lol :o) God bless you all and thank you for your comments...and if anyone has any information on ms, I'd really appreciate it if you could let me know. :o)