Monday, October 31, 2005

So far today is the same as yesterday. My massage therapist called, and con't come this morning because she is sick. I hope she feels better. This time change is really messing me up pretty bad. I am so confused. More so then before. :o) It's hard enough for me to remember things as it is. :o) I don't have anything planned today. I am going to write down everything that I can think of, that I feel, my pain and where it is, and the numbness, and where it is. I need to have everything down on paper in front of me, so I can go from there. Then I'm going to call my doctor to make an appointment. If fibromyalgia doesn't progress, then what else is wrong with me? I've looked it up, and no, it does not progress. Mine has ever since I've been diagnosed. So something else is wrong. I'll just get to the bottom of this whole mess that has disabled me. God bless you. :o) Comments would help if anyone can think of anything. :o)

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Just things thats happening.

I have a question to eveyone else that reads this that has fibromyalgia. For a few weeks now, I've noticed that I've been having trouble swollowing. I have to keep my head straight, and at times it is like like muslces in my throat won't work. Has this happened to anyone else? It gets to a point to where I will choke. I've been noticing more and more new things and places that are hurting, and has stayed. As if this is progressing once again. It does bother me. Because sometimes I have to wonder what's next and where it will happen. I've also noticed that my body is getting more numb. Which I still don't understand that one. When I was taking the temprature of water that I was using in a bath, it was 137 degrees, and it felt fine to me! My husband baught me a candy thermometor so I can see how hot or cold water is for me. If I would have gotten in that water, I could have seriously hurt myself. Things like this are starting to be more and more noticable and staying. Other then all of the pain I go through everyday, I go through this as well. My eye sight has gotten worse too. My eye doctor can only give me reading glasses because of the nerve damage behind my eyes. I'm just going to have to call my doctor about all of the things I've been noticing more of lately. I would really appreciate any and all comments. :o)

Ok....this time change has really messed me up. lol I actually was able to get 7 hours of sleep last night. Yay! :o) I'm still in alot of pain still today. In some places, its not as hard on me. This too shall pass. :o) My best friend came over this morning for coffee, and we watched a movie. I've been noticing more "activity" going on in this house. I thought when we moved it would be over. I guess not. My son's bedroom door will open and shut on it's own, I have baskets and a very heavy bear sitting on a shelf above a window in this room that keeps getting moved all around. I take this thing that I have that I can reach with and grab things and put them back, and they get moved again. The shelf is maybe about 5 inches from the ceiling. Plus there is no one here that can reach it without getting the step stool. Everything that has been happening, I've rationalized. Nothing can be so far. I guess the house gets "active" this time of year. The other house we lived in did the same thing. Oh well, here we go again. I have God on my side, and thats what matters. :o) I'll write more later, too weak to type write now. :o)

Saturday, October 29, 2005

I've been in alot of pain all morning. I was able to get more sleep this morning as well. I've taken all of my meds. that I'm suppose to and I'm in so much more pain then I was. :o( This may sound weird, but I have to rest up to even take a shower! :o( I finally felt that I was able to do so. I have a shower chair that I have to sit on while taking a shower. By the time I was done, I was so weak I was shaking pretty bad. I have this large lump on the right side of my neck that is really killing me. My shoulders, upper arms and upper chest is really in pain. Then it is going down my backto my hips and then down both legs. I'm having spams everywhere right now. My eyes even twicth. This has been a pretty bad day for the fibromyalgia. It's keeping me from doing things. All I'm able to do is sit, and then that hurts so I stand then that hurts, then I sit. It's a cycle. I'll just have to ride out this wave. All of my life, I would have never knew of pain this bad.

Friday, October 28, 2005

I got up at 12:00 am!!! 3 hours of sleep. I wish this sleep problem will get better. It is really messing me up. My pain level for the past week has been so high! Last night I could hardly move my right arm. I have such large lumps in my upper right arm as well. Plus every place else. All of the usual places. Even the bottom of my right foot. It's almost to the point to where I'm starting to get used to this. I don't know if thats good or bad. Maybe good, because my pain and fibro progresses. Then stays that way. So maybe it is a good thing, I don't know. Well, going to go. God bless you all. :o)


Well, I was able to go back to bed and get more sleep. Yay! :o) I slept for 5 hours! I'm not tierd, but still in alot of pain. My upper body seems to be the worse. Oh well. This is life for me. :o)

What a great day I had! :o)

Yesterday was such a great day! :o) I had so much fun! Our mom and my daughter and grandson went to visit my sister that lives about an hour from us. It was so great to see her! I haven't seen her or my neice in almost a year. I really missed them. :o) It was so good to also get out of the house too. I love to spend time with my family. :o) I wish that we lived closer so I could see her more often again. :o) I don't think I've laughed as hard as I did yesterday in months! lol :o) It did, however, really wear me out. My massage therapist came over early, and it hurt pretty bad again! :o( I was in alot of pain, and still am.And my best friend came over as well and really surprised me! :o) I like it when she does that! lol :o)  Well, I'm worse today though. I over did myself a bit yesterday. But I don't regret any of it! :o) After we got home, I was going to pass out the candy. I put my robe on, and sat on the porch with the bowl of candy. :o) That was the second time I've ever done that ever. I usually go out too! lol Not this year. The kids were all so cute. :o) After that ended, I took my meds. and was ready for bed. My daughter called, and she had an accident that hurt her foot! I grabbed my first aid kit and went over. It wasn't looking too good, so I brought her and Kayden back her for the night so I could wake up with him so she wouldn't hurt her foot. I was so worn out! Whew! :o) But, you got to do what you got to do when you have kids! :o) This morning, Kayden's daddy came and picked them up and took them back home. :o) And from then up till now...I'm am so very sore and in so much pain, I think I'm going to have to take a pain pill. But thats ok. :o) I'd do it all again. :o) So, I got to see everyone yesterday! lol :o) There is this one woman that my sister and I had found out that is not being nice to our mom. She has taken so much from her money wise, plus a whole lot more. :o( If my mom doesn't turn her in, I know my sister and I will find a way to our selves. It has really hurt us both to know what she has done to our mom. :o( And to our family! :o( Things will get straigtened out soon, I'm hoping. It just has to for my mom's sake. Money wise. gggrrr! Enough of that, I can feel my blood pressure rise. :o( Well....gentle hugs to you all and God bless you! :o)

Thursday, October 27, 2005


I was able to get 6 and a half hours of sleep last night! Yay! :o) Boy am I still in a lot of pain. I've been trying to take care of myself by not doing anything that would aggrevate my body in any way. No such luck on that one, this diease doesn't seem to care what you try to do. It will make you hurt no matter what. My mom is coming over this morning, and we are going to go visit my sister that I haven't seen in almost a year! :o) I can't wait. :o) We will leave after my massage therapist comes, I have to have that massage. So, I have something to look forward to for today. :o) Tonight is beggers night here. This will be the second time in my life that I will not be going out but staying home to pass out the candy. It feels weird not to go out with my kids. lol I'm just a big kid at heart! :o) Well, thats all for now. Gentle hugs. :o)

UPdate.......OMG!!!!!!! As I was saving this last dog was going up the stairs, and made it to the 4 or 5 step, and was THROWN down them to where she hit the WALL!!!!! :o( Ever since we've moved in this house, I've always felt something I see that it is REALLY letting "itself" be known! I got over to her, and she was laying there scared and with her ears back, looking up at the steps. I yelled at "whoever" to leave us alone and that if they are going to be here "they" have to learn to live with us!!! I am so mad!!! I got my divining rods out, and went towards the stairs, and sure enough, they were crossing!!! I got a chill on my left side that made my hair feel like it was standing on end!!! So I know "something" was on my left side. Oh I'm so mad at that!!! "They" don't need to get physical with us! I had to live with that in our other house, and I will do everything I can to stop it here! She was able to get up after about 5 minute of just laying where she landed. Thankfully she wasn't hurt. I seen it happen, and I'm very surprised that she isn't hurt at all! I will have to smudge and pray all through this house now. I WILL get rid of them! Through the help of God I will. Wish me luck.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Still way too much pain.

My morning started out great! :o) My best friend came over. It's nice to see her. :o) She had problems sleeping as well. I was able to get a nap in. I am very frustrated in so many ways right now. I had one of my "prophetic" dreams! :o( I am very worried about someone that I am very close to. I've talked to her about someone in her life that is not of good. She needs to listen, and really listen now! Bad feelings about this situation. I've tried everything before, and she won't respond to my emails, and I don't know how to get this message to her. :o( She did tell me that she might come over tomorrow. I hope so, so I can tell her about this dream and the bad feelings I'm getting. I'm also wondering about someone else. Ever since my daughter has moved out, I haven't heard from her. And she has told me over and over that we are good friends and that she would be here for me if I needed someone, because I was there for her. Well, I haven't heard or seen her since! hhhmmm. You know, it makes it hard to trust people when they say one thing and do another! That really gets under my skin. And it hurts too. Oh well. :o( Chalk it up to another life lesson that I've learned.

More time to think....being alone doesn't help. I am really hurt by allowing others to talk to me when they need to, while in the mean time, I put all of my baggage and pain, on the back burner for them. And for them to get information from me when I don't realize it, and where are they at when I could use them to talk to? Not even a thank you for the photos I send to them. Or even to let me know that they did recieve them. How rude to use me that way. Like I said, I've really learned a lesson through this. Nothing more from me, I need to take care of me, and no more sending photos. Why should I? My name is Lisa, not door MAT!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

In a lot of pain still.

My daughter and grandson came over yesterday so she could do her laundry. :o) Boy did I love that! :o) I get so bored here during the days because I'm alone. For one thing it makes the days go longer and second, I get kind of scared if something would happen to me, like if I all. Don't need that one to happen. I held my grandson even though it was hurting me. I just couldn't help it. :o) It made me feel a bit worse, but I have to hold him. :o) He's just too adorable. :o) I went to bed at 9:00 last night, and woke up at 12:00 this morning. :o( Well, better then no sleep. This is just going to be a much longer day for me, unless I'm able to get a nap in. ::::crossing fingers:::: :o) I don't have anything planned for today, except for trying to get some more sleep in. God bless you all. :o)

Just an update on a few more thoughts. Nothing else to do but to sit and think, can't do anything else. I was wondering what happened to all the people that would leave such uplifting comments? Or, even send me any emails? Have I said something/did domething wrong again? If so, let me know. Ok? I hardly hear from my mom, or really anyone anymore. Why? I know you might not have time to write a letter, but one that just says hi every once in awhile would be nice.


I guess no one understands what it's like to sit in a house day in and day out. all there is to do is nothing!

I need to ask for help.

Yesterday was a very painful day for me. After my massage therapist left, I was feeling so much worse, but that happens. She had to massage a lot more of my body this time! Not too good. She had to massasge everything but my face and my stomach! I was that bad. Oh well, just part of this disease. Again, last night I was showing my pain, ( i really couldn't help not showing it ) And everyone thought I was either in a bad mood or mad. Geesh! I simple said that I was in extreme pain, and thats all. I noticed again that I was trying to hide it. So I stopped it on my own! Yay....that was an accomplishment for me. :o) Today, I'm still in the same pain, and I'm not going to hide it. I need to learn to ask for help. If I don't, I'm not going to get any better. Down deep, I know this.

This morning, the phone woke me up. It was my daughter. I imeditly called her back. She called me because she had a bad dream about me. So, I talked with her and got her to laugh, and didn't get off the phone until 6:00! lol :o) Like I've always told my kids, no matter what, I'll always be there for them, even if it's for a bad dream. :o) She feels better now. :o) She will be here to do her laundry today. So that should make her feel better as well. :O) Me too, then I get to see my grandson! Yay! :o) All for now, God bless you all. :o)

Monday, October 24, 2005

I was able to get 7 hours of sleep last night! Yay! When I woke up, my bed was fine like usual. Yesterday was not a very good day for me with my pain and energy. I did take a nap to try to at least get more energy and/or feel better pain wise. No such luck, just was able to catch up on some sleep that I have missed. Not complaining there. :O) I'm still catching myself "hiding" my pain. I really am working on not to do that. It all started when I was first having these pains a few years back. I felt like since it was all new to me and others, and a few people didn't believe me at the time that I was and could be in this much pain, I would just hide it then. Now, it's coming too natural to do it, and I need to stop. Everyone understands now what I have and what I must be going through. If my husband asks me if I need help with anything, I find myself saying no, when I really do need it with whatever I'm doing. Then afterwards I pay for it. I'll probably end up putting a few hundred sticky notes up throughout the house for me saying, "Stop hiding it!" :o) Maybe that might work? :o) I need to do something, because the pain has made it to where I'm having a hard time walking and using my arms. Basically sitting is ok to do. But then I still have my back killing me and goes down to my hips. Geesh! This seems to be a no win situation here. Oh well. My daughter stopped by yesterday and really surprised me. :o) She was getting a few more things to take back to her place. We were laughing so hard, because she is very clumsy, and she kept tripping and doing funny things! lol She always been a very clumsy girl, and I have always called her Grace! :o) As for not being graceful! lol :o) She finally ended up getting her things in her car with no more falls or tripping. :o) Then she went on home, and I'm hoping she was able to unload her car without tripping! lol I didn't get any phone calls, so I guess she did it! :o) I suppose thats all for now, my massage therpist will be here soon. Gentle hugs all. :O)

                               ........................................When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I will not have a single bit of talent or gifts left that was given to me, then I could say, "Iused everything You gave me!"

Sunday, October 23, 2005

I got up at 2:30 this morning. gggrrr. Again, my bed was a mess. That is so unlike me to wake up like that. I can sleep in my bed, get out of it, and not look like anyone has been in it. I know thats sounds weird, but I've always been that way. My Mom has always called me the princess and the pea! lol :o) Love ya' Mom! :o) Yesterday was not a good day at all. I was so weak, and in so much pain, I could hardly walk or even talk. Talking took too much energy from me. After I took my shower, which really drained me, the pain worsened. The day seemed like it would never end. Then when I went to bed, I had a hard time finding a comfortable place to lay. My back and of course everything else is just killing me. I think I'm going to call my doctor and see if he can put me through another test to see if that tumor has gotten any bigger. If so, then it should be able to be removed. Or, if anymore tumors have grown. He did say that will happen, but not knowing when and where. Geesh! Well...I guess thats all for right now. Gentle hugs to you all. :o)

Saturday, October 22, 2005

I didn't sleep very well at all last night. I was in bed for 7 hours, but I didn't sleep that long. My bed is all disheveled, it looks like a tornado hit my bed. It is so hard to actually find a good spot that doesn't hurt too bad to lay on to get to sleep. I was in alot of pain yesterday. If I'm in that much again today, I'll have to take a pain pill. I had a hard time walking again, and putting my arms up, like to grab something. I had spasms everywhere. Maybe this weather has something to do with this flare up. I had to go out in it yesterday to pick up a script. After I got home, thats when I got so much worse. Just have to ride it out. :o) Nothing planned at all today. Just to rest. But, that doesn't mean that I can't have visiters. :o) I hope all is doing well, and God bless you all. :O)

I thought I'd write some more. I've had some things on my mind. I'm sitting here alone, and can't stop thinking. My husband and I talked last night and the night before about our financial situation. The whirlpool has really cost so much more already then getting a hot tub would have. :o( And it's not even close to being all the way done yet. I should have tried harder on finding someon to donate a hot tub for me. I really feel pretty bad. I was writing out the grocery list, and it is now just 3 of us here, and he told me how strapped we really are. :o( I had no idea. All I eat is special k cereal with skim milk, toast, and smart ones microwave dinners. I drink water and have coffee in the mornings. My son works all the time and isn't here that much. I feel kind of guilty for not trying harder. My husband is a work-aholic, and works so much over time every week just to make ends meet. I really don't like seeing him so stressed out like this. :o( I still have that script for the hot tub, and I think I'm going to go ahead and try harder to find someone that will donate. Then I can tell him that he doesn't have to spend more money. That would make me feel so much better. I love him too much to see him stress over the things he does, because of me. Sorry....but I just had to get this off of my chest to help myself feel better with my muscle spasms. I don't feel better all the way at all until I can find a way to help him. I will keep looking.

..............................Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

-Michael Jordan

Friday, October 21, 2005


Well all day yesterday I was in a lot of pain. Of course it started with my back, where that tumor is. Then down to my hipes and then down to my legs. My upper front chest was killing me as well. I was having a lot of spams. My upper back shouders and my upper arms too. My right one was the worst. When my massage therapist came, she was amzed at how many muscle cramps I had in just my upper right arm. I wasn't, because I could feel them. uuuggghhhh! It could be the weather making me act up. I haven't been out side in a few days, so I don't know. It's been in the 40's here. I waited until my husband got home last night, and I finally used my whirlpool tub. The jets aren't very strong. But it still felt good to get in it. At least I'm in warm water that the water moves in like the doctor said to do. But again, it doesn't move very well. Probably because it's a tub and not a hot tub, but I'm still thankful that I have my tub. :o) It still helped me relax. :o) I went to bed early and got up at 3:30 this morning. My back woke me up. I'm not sure, but I'm wondering if that tumor is getting bigger? At least I did get 7 hours of sleep! Yay! :o) I'm really hoping that today is much better then yesterday was. God bless. :o)

Thursday, October 20, 2005

I got 8 hours of sleep last night!!!! Yay!!! :o) I was also able to go back to bed yesterday morning to finish some sleep that I'd missed out on from getting up too early. :o) That helped my body feel better. :o) This morning at yesterday my shoulders, back, hips and my legs are in much pain. My massage therapist will be coming this morning, so I can't wait. It'll hurt, but I know I will feel better afterwards. :o) God bless. :o)

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

I was able to get 3 and a half hours of sleep tonight. :o) Not too bad. My back is still hurtin me. It will soon pass. :o) My daughter came over yesterday to do her laundry, so that meant that I had all that time to spend with my grandson! :o) It was great! We were sitting on the front porch, and we seen a catapiller! I call them "willie worms," so I picked it up and showed it to him! lol I put it on his hand and he was watching it walk up his little arm! lol :o) It was just so cute to see! Then, he held his bottle for the first time yesterday too! He's really getting to be such a big boy now! :o) Boy I miss seeing him everyday. But I make up for it everytime I see him. :O) After that, my energy level was so weak, and of course my back has been hurting me, and the right side of my neck has been having muscle spams. So I went to bed at 9:30.

..............................................God gave burdens, also shoulders.

                                                  -Yiddish proverb

Well, I had such a good day yesterday. :o) My sister called me, and we had a good talk....I'm proud of you by the way! :o) The only problem I had was my back pain. gggrrr. It was hurting pretty bad, and the pain was starting where the tumor is, then radiated down to my left hip, and down my left leg. I was having a hard time walking. And thats what woke me uo this morning at 3:00. At least I did get 5 hours of sleep! Yay! :O) Much better then the night before. Today, my daughter is coming over to do her laundry. That means I get to see the baby! :o) Yay! They stopped in last night, and I got to see him for a few minutes. :o) I don't have any plans today except for today except for the usual nothing. If my back doesn't feel any better, I'll have to take a pain pill, and I really don't want to do that. Not complaining, just hope the pain gets better. :o) God bless.

Monday, October 17, 2005

I'm feeling a bit better this morning. :o) I didn't get much sleep last night, but I had 3 hours which is better then 2. :o) My mom came over yesterday, and she helped me with my mattress. Little did I know, I had the mattress on backwards. I didn't get a manual with it, so I had no idea. She was helping me change my sheets, and we noticed big lumps. So I called the manufacture and asked what it could be and what to do about it. We did it, and it's now better. :o) I don't have any plans for today, just to rest. God bless. :o)

Sunday, October 16, 2005

very sad. :o(

I'm so sad and upset right now. :o( I just found out that someone that is in my family that I love so much is ill. My heart hurts pretty bad right now.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Very sad. :o(

I deleted the last 2 entries for a personal reason. I'm "assuming" something about a very good friend of mine, and I'm very upset over it. I've been crying over it. I only wish that they would talk to me. Just a conversation, thats all.


Yesterday was a pretty good day. :O) I had a real good talk with my mom, and it lifed so much off of my chest that I've had on my mind for awhile now. I've just been seeing a friend of hers not treating her very nice, thats all. She has seen it too. :o) Whew! I just took a few more photos of my feet and legs while I was out side smoking. :o) So the lighting is a lot better. As soo as I get them loaded, I'll post them on. :O) My husband had a good idea as well, he said if I put on my bathing suit, I could be out side for him to help take more photos that will be more clear. :o) Geesh...I can never think of the things that are so easy! lol :O) God bless you! :o)

Friday, October 14, 2005

Photos of my "lumps."

I had my daughter and I take as many photos of a few of the muscle lumps that I have. I couldn't get them all without stripping all the way down. :o) But maybe by these photos, you can see them and it might help someone else with fibromyalgia. :o) Yes....these lumps are very painful.


I got 8 hours of sleep last night!!! Yay! :o) My massage therapist worked me over again yesterday morning. Boy did that hurt. Whew! But it foes make my muscles feel better, even though you wouldn't think it would. :o) My father in law and my husband has my hot tub in place now! Yay! It's in the basement and they had to do so much to make sure it was level. And now the tub is cemented in! YES! :o) He told me that I should be able to use it by the begining of this week! Yay! :o) But they are still going to inclose it and it will be a room for me! Cool! :o) I already know how I want to decorate it! lol Today I don't have much at all planned, well...I really can't do too much. I did do a bit in this room yesterday, and it is slowly but surely getting there. :o) Have a great day, and God bless you! :o)

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Good Grief!

I got up too early once again. I had 3 hours of sleep. Bummer! I hope I'll be able to get a nap in today. :o) Yesterday I didn't do too much. I did rest my body, and I've been working on some photos of my grandson to print out. :o) I think they're going to turn out great! :o) My massage therapist will be coming this morning. Yay! :o) I still have bruises from all of the rubbing that she does. Plus I still have those wierd looking muscle "lumps." They hurt pretty bad. Thats what wakes me up most of the time. I have a huge one on my left hip, and I couldn't sleep because of it. Thats really going to hurt when she rubs it! Yikes! Oh well....I can take it, I have no choice in the does help me. :o) Gentle hugs to you all! :o)


Yesterday was just a regular day in my life with fibro. Still very painful. I put makeup on for the first time in a long time to try to make me feel better. :o) LOL....didn't work, but my husband liked it. :o) My daughter is getting a cold now and hasn't been feeling very well. It's just moving around the house and hitting everyone. yuk! I'm not going to do much again today, mainly because I can't. Just rest in bed again. :o( I've been busy just doing nothing. My limitations are really getting to me. I know this will pass in time. :o) Just waiting. :o) For about the past 3 weeks now, I've been flooded with all kinds off "information" that has really been keeping me busy. Let me back up a bit; I was born with a gift given to me by God. I don't know what to call it, it does run in my family. From my great grandmother, my grandmother, and now me. Some call it pyschic, I just call it a gift. Because with this gift, I've helped others. Well, for about a year and a half, I've felt closed off. And since I've gotten so much of the negativity out of my life, I am now getting it back, and it's full force. Whew! In my dreams, I am getting flooded with information from people, so much that I can't even write it all down, and during the day, I get "feelings" and "impressions". I make sure for whoever the information is for, I tell the person. If I don't, it doesn't leave me, and I need for it to. So....I've been very busy with all of this information and vibes/feelings to help others again. :o) I keep a note book by my bed to write down my dreams, if I can remember them all. But, I do remember the ones that have been "stuck" in my head when I wake up, and then I go from there with it. I realize this doesn't make much since to alot of people, but this too is my life. :O) I've had to come to terms with it as a child and to learn how to handle it, and channel it to the right way and to the good. No, I don't always get good news, but I still have to tell the person it's for. It's hard to explain. :o) I don't call this a was given to me by God, and God doesn't give curses. :O) So....I've been pretty busy with this lately. :o) By the way, if you don't believe in this, could you please not leave a nasty comment or send me nasty emails? Thank you. I have only one that will judge me, and it isn't any of you, ok. :o) With that said...God bless all of you. :o)

Tuesday, October 11, 2005


Yesterday seemed to be an up and down day for me. After my massage therapist left, I took a nice hot shower. It felt good on the muscles that were hurting so bad. Which is 90% of my body. I then rested for awhile to let the heat make them relax a bit. Didn't really work, but it was a good idea I thought. :O) My back, hips and legs really hurt and are very weak still. My upper arms and chest are weak as well. And in a lot of pain. It so hard to have my grandson here and to not be able to hold him. But I had to last night. It hurt so bad, but just to hold him helps me on the inside. :o) He's my little cuddlebunny! :o) Then, I was putting my walker in the back seat of my car last night, and it flipped somehow and knocked my jaw into the tip of the car door. Ouchie! I have a lump on my jaw now. lol...I'm always doing something! :o) Geesh! So, now I have a very sore face! Again, I wasn't able to sleep very well last night, and again got up early. I really am getting used to this. For some reason, all day yesterday I kept getting over heated, to the point of sweat just rolling off of me. I'm not sick anymore, so I don't know why that was happening. I was doing the same in bed last night....that, and pain, not a good mix.  I haven't gotten hot in my new bed since I've had it. So, I don't know what is going on now. I do know that with fibro, the thalamus is damaged, and thats the body's thermastat. So, who knows. :o) If it continues today, I'm going to call my doctor about it. I get so hot so fast, it makes me sick to my stomach, then I cool down just as fast. Oh well. Going to go now. :o) God bless you all. :o)

Monday, October 10, 2005

What a morning.

I couldn't get to sleep last night until late. Then I wake up this morning early because of my hips and legs hurting me. Only 3 hours of sleep. Better then 2 hours. My massage therapist came early as well this morning at 7:30. I was glad. But boy did it hurt! :o( From my back down to my hips and legs, are very weak and in alot of pain. My upper arms, shoulders, and upper chest area are as well. She told me that it would take a few times of therapy to get some of the knots rubbed out of my upper chest and arms. Yikes! I'm just going to take a nice hot shower and then rest my body. I'm not able to do much else. Except to talk to my grandson! :o) Too cute! :o) I bought him some books last week, and I can read to him as well. :o) He likes that. :o) Gentle hugs to you all. :o)

Sunday, October 9, 2005

Not again......

Only 2 hours of sleep again. :o( I hope this doesn't mean the sleep thing isn't going to start up again. I'm too weak as it is now, and in enough pain to last. The pain in my back and legs woke me up again. I'm going to take a pain pill and try to get some rest.

Remember the three R's:  Respect for  self;  Respect for
others; and responsibility for all your  actions.

Saturday, October 8, 2005


Yesterday I was in a lot of pain. :o( My hips and legs were weak, and had those muscle "lumps" in them again. My upper arms and shoulders are killing me. Of course my back really hurts. My pain level has jumped up again. I'll just have to ride it out. I'm so weak, I'm shaky. I didn't get much sleep at all last night because of the pain waking me up to often. So, I just got up at 4:00. I have two bed sores, one on my right ankle and the other on my left foot. The one on my left foot is hurting pretty bad this morning. It's probably due to all of the tossing and turning to try to get comfortable in bed. I'll ask my daughter if she can rub lotion on in for me today. :o) My hands are a bit crampy as well. It hurts to'm making this short. :o) Gentle hugs. :O)

Friday, October 7, 2005

Better. :o)

I'm feeling a bit better with this cold thing going on now. My pain level is about a 10, and has been for about a week and a half now. YAY! :O) I'd still like for it to be back down to at least an 8, but from what it was a few weeks ago, I'll settle for a 10. :o) I've had a lot of time to reflect back on a decision I made weeks ago. I'm glad I made it. :o) The stress in my life has gone down so much, it's unbelievable. :o) I don't want to sound selfish, but I have to think of my body and the pain that I go through. I made the right choice. I am still getting woke up throughout the night with pain, but I will probably always go through that as well. But the days are so much better with so much stress gone. :o) I never realized how much it was until now. The pain is still in the same places. No new surprises. I'm just thankful for the level getting down to a 10, and staying there. :o) It's still an hour by hour disease. I wanted to know if there were anyone that reads this journal, that has fibromyalgia and multilpe Sclerosis? My doctor is wanting to check me for MS again. He still feels that there is more wrong then just the fibro. I was just curious. Well, today is going to be very cold, and rainy. YUK! Gentle huga to you all. :o)

Thursday, October 6, 2005


All I did yesterday was stay in bed. I took a nap, and when I woke up, I was feeling worse. It feels like a cold is trying to set in....but I'm doing my best to stop it! :o) 6 hours of sleep last night...YES!!!! The more sleep I get, the better it'll make me feel with this cold thing and my fibro. My son didn't have to work yesterday, so he and my daughter were home yesterday! :o) He would come in and check on me to see if I needed anything, and my daughter would do the same thing. :O) My grandson has gotten better with his little cold now. :o) Whew....I'm so glad. :o) I just have to say how proud I am of my kids! :o) I wouldn't have them any other way. :O) They went through alot when they were younger, but the main thing is, they have learned from their mistakes and have moved on. :o) I love them both so very much! It makes me feel so good, because when I'm down and out in bed, they both always help me. I must have done something right for them to love me and care about me as much as they do. :o) All I have planned to do again today is the same thing. I'm still not feeling well, so I'm just going to rest in bed today. My daughter and grandson lays in bed with me, and I put in one of my grandsons dvd's for him to watch, and he loves it, and it's so cute to watch! :o) He loves grandma's room. lol :o) And my daughter loves my bed. lol :o) Well....I'm going to go and take my meds. then get some more rest. God bless you all! :o) Thank you for your comments, they really do keep me going. :o)

Wednesday, October 5, 2005


I was able to get 8 hours of sleep last night. YES! :o) I think sine I wasn't getting much sleep for such a long time, made my system really screwed up. I'm in so much pain today, and I feel like I'm sick. BLAH! Just not a very good day all in all. But, Just very thankful I did get more sleep. That will help out my immune system. I'm going to go back to bed. Prop up everything that hurts, and rest. Gentle hugs. :o)

Tuesday, October 4, 2005

Cha....Ching!!!!! :o)

Yay......I was able to get 7 hours of sleep last night! :o) I feel alittle more rested finally! :o) Now I hope my day will be a lot better as well; pain wise and rest. My right foot and ankle are still swollen and purple. Still numb were it is purple. I don't know what thats about either, but I'm keeping an eye on it to see if it soes get any worse. Again, I don't know if this is a part of fibromyalgia or not. This disease is the have a hard time trying to tell what is from the fibro, and what isn't. Geesh! I'm still very weak. But I'll get by. :o) I suppose thats all for now. God bless you all! :o) Thank you for the sweet comments, they keep me going. :o)

Monday, October 3, 2005


I had such a long dat yesterday.....and still not even a nap. So, I wasn't doing much at all. My head felt so heavy, and my hips and legs are so weak from no sleep. My physical/massage therapist comes this morning, and I can't wait. I know it will hurt like you know what, but I know it should help my body feel a bit better. :o) I'm hoping to at least be able to get a nap in today, and get sleep tonight. :o) Boy do I not like it when my system goes through these "no sleep" periods. Geesh! I just get so weak and worn out over it. I'm hopeful enough that this too shall soon pass. :o) And I know it will some time. :o)

.....................................You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.

-Rosalynn Carter

Sunday, October 2, 2005

I need a vacation!

With so much on my mind about my health, and a few other things...I really need a vacation! All I need is a few days of nothing but relaxing, and nothing else going on thats outside of this house. It upsets me to see or feel something new about or on my body. If it pulls me back 2 steps, I'll move forward 3. I'm so determined to figure this disease out. Why am I getting tumors....why is my foot and ankle purple....and why are my hips and legs so weak? There is no why, it's what can I do now to get better. I have to think of it that way. I'll come up with an answer that I know that I'll be able to do. I just really need to give my body a rest. And, get some much needed sleep. :o) Oh goes on with fibromyalgia even if you have to push yourself every hour of the day. :o) God bless you all. :o)


Someone must have a guilty consious. If you think that I might be talking about you in my journals, then you must feel guilty of something. I have my own life that I live, and if I write something in this journal, doesn't mean I bring things on myself, or am writing about you, I write about what happens in my day to day life....Ok? So save it for some one who cares....You are not the center of my world...ok? And I never said when and what time either. So why an aliby?

Sleep? What's that?

UUGGHHH!!!! Once again...not much sleep again tonight. Another 1 1/2 hours. :o( My eyes are so used to staying open, they wouldn't know that to do if they were shut for more then 3 hours! This is really taking it's toll on my body. This weather we are having isn't helping either...cold and never know, and that messes with my body as well. gggrrr. :o) Again, it's from one hour to the next right now. I'm dealing with it. :o) Nothing else I can do. Unless I break down and take a pain pill, and I might just do that here in a bit. I really don't like to rely on those. But, they have been working. Thankfully. :o) I don't have any plans today at all. Yesterday I went through some old clothes and pj's because all of my other ones are too big on me. YAY! I've found out that I am now wearing a size medium! :::::doing a dance::::::   :o) I like this! From a size 3X in January, now down to a medium! I've lost about 60 pounds now! :o) I'm very proud of myself. The less weight that I have to carry around on my legs and back, the better I will feel in the long run. :o) I'm getting there! :o) I guess thats all for now....going to try and take a pain pill and lay back down, and prop my right foot up some more. Still purple and numb. Gentle hugs. :o)

Saturday, October 1, 2005


Yesterday was so long for me. Only having 2 hours of sleep with no naps made my body just ache all over. Plus with this cold weather sin't helping either. When I get too cold, or too hot my muscles cramp up so much more, then add on no sleep. Yikes! I've been having problems with my toes on my right foot for the past 2 weeks. This morning when I got up, I've noticed that whatever is wrong has spread to the rest of my toes, and my foot and ankle are swollen. They are purple and I can't feel anything where they are purple. I'm going to have to be in bed again today to prop my leg up to see if it will help. If not, back to the doctors. Because my right leg is my good one, and having problems with it, messes up my balance, my left leg kind of drags along with me. Geesh! With this disease, you never know from one hour to the next what you're going to feel like or whats going to happen. I had a nice surprise mom and sister came over to visit. :o) I've been worried about my mom a bit, and to see her made me feel better. She had lost her husband a few months ago, and things just aren't going good for her right now.

Now, this is for the girl that keeps doing the drive by's.....I can ignore you, but you have now made other neighbors pretty mad. I hope your mother reads this, because she needs to tell you to stop this nonsence. There is an elderly couple that lives a house down from me that she takes care of her bed riden husband. She is disturbed by these drive by's. And her husband! She is going to call the police. I have another neigher that lives beside us, across the street, that it is also disturbing and he will not put up with all of the yelling either. So, if you and your friends want to laugh and think what you yell out your car window at "our" house, is just trying to get to us, you're wrong. Now you've gotten other neighbors invovled that will call the police on you for what you are doing. I'm hoping that you will stop acting like a 2 year old, and think of others besides yourselfish little games with your friends. Because you've now pulled in others in my neighborhood that will not put up with it. Again, this all needs to STOP! Because you are not getting to us, we can ignore, but not my elderly neighbors! Learn some respect for others, and stop thinking of just yourself. Please? If this doesn't stop, and I hear more complaints from my neighbors, I will get a restraining order. Ok?

With that I need to go lay down and prop my leg up. My grandson still doesn't feel good, so I might put him in bed with me too. :o) He's such a snugglebunny! :o) Gentle hugs to you all, and thank you for all the uplifting comments! :o)