Thursday, March 31, 2005

Wow! What a day!

My pain level is a hard 9 right now. It was most of the day yesterday too. My whole body is killing me!

My daughter was still having the braxton hicks contractions, and I had her walk around to see if that would help her. It seemed to make them worse. She called The Woman's Services, and they had her come in to be put on monitors. Earlier, I had called my mom to talk to her, because my stress level was very high...(not because of my daughter). She came in, and she can always clam me down, and help relax me. She was here when my daughter was told to go to the hospital. My body was hurting so bad, it felt as if I was turning to stone. I was having a hard time moving. As we are getting ready to leave, I find out that My daughter's boyfriend's mom was ON HER WAY TOO!!!! NOOOO!!!! GGGRRRR!!!! That made me even worse! My daughter was put on the monitor, and she is still doing fine. She still has weeks to go...Whew! :o) I was told that his mom had turned around, and went back home. Then when we get home, my son had started making supper. :o) My husband was home and I thought that now we all can just sit back and relax. NOT! My daughter really needed to just lay told her too. But no! I was then informed that his mom and someone else, and someone else was on their way to the house!!! NOOOO!!!!! I can not stand that woman! Supper was daughter needed to eat and rest, and here they all come! They were told all about my daughter's ordeal...but still continued to stay, and the one person had a small baby with her as well!!! And was passing the baby daughter needed to rest! I wanted to stand up and say, " Look, she told you what happened, now you need to leave because she needs her rest now." But I couldn't, because these people would have started a fight in my own home. My daughter doesn't need that right now, and neither do I. After a little over an hour...they finally decide to leave...Thank God! My daughter was then able to eat, and then she got some rest. Which in turn, helped me as well. I honestly don't know how much longer I am suppose to keep my mouth shut with these people? It's getting to the point to where I can't! I have to look out for my own health as well. And now I'm paying for it.

...................If one is without kindness, how can one be called a human being?

                                         -Sarada Devi

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

In a lot of pain.

I got up too early once again. I'm in a lot of pain this morning. Yesterday was a very stressful day. My daughter has been having contractions.....and they were 5 minutes apart for about an hour, then slowed down. Whew! She is 8 months today. The baby has dropped. She is ready at anytime now. :o) I was so emotional yesterday, all emotions combined! I had to take another muscle relaxer to try to relax. I was able to rest about 3:00. I was so shaky and I had a hard time with muscle control. I fell a few times because of being so dizzy....just thankful that each time I did, there was something to catch me. I have planned to get as much rest as I can. The pain is actually making me feel sick. So I know I have to listen to my body or else today.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005


Yesterday, when my physical therapist came....I thought since taking the muscle relaxers would make my time with her almost pain free.....WRONG! Just because I can't feel it with the muscle relaxers, doesn't mean the muscle cramping still isn't there. I don't know what I was thinking! lol :o) She was on vacation all last week, so yesterday was the first time with the new medicines. After she left, I remebered that I told my daughter a few weeks ago that I would make her a T-shirt with, "Due in May" on it. I found the transfers, and got to work on designing it. The background has pastel colors of baby hand and feet prints. :o) She loves it! :o) I them made one for me, with the same background, but it says #1 grandma on it. :o) I'm going to wear it today. :o) To make those T-shirts took me just sitting here at the computer, and printing the transfers. Then, ironing them on the shirt. You can't begin to realize just how much energy that little bit took from me? Then I had to make supper! Plus I had to do the dishes. I had help from my daughter. I was so tired....I had a hard time standing up. I would do one thing, sit, then something else, sit, and continue that way. It just goes to show you that just little things can drain you of all of your energy. I did, however, get 8 hours of well needed sleep last night! Yay! :o) I still feel very weak still. Oh well...thats my life. :o)

Monday, March 28, 2005

An ok day. :o)

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I felt that I really needed to get out of this house again, so I asked my daughter (my son wasn't home) if she would like to go somewhere with me to get out as well. We ended up at The Cracker Barrel. :o) She was hungry. :o) Even though the place was packed, we had a great time. :o) Afterwards we looked around the little front store. She found this cute little blue bunny wrap that goes over a baby's diaper, and I found a butterfly sun catcher. :o) I bought them. :o) I was in pain, but there comes a time where you can't take it anymore...feeling cooped up in the house. My back, shoulders, arms and legs were still hurting. Thats just my life. Kind of getting used to it. I went to bed at 11:00 again, and got up at 4:00. 5 hours of sleep is better then 4. :o)

Sunday, March 27, 2005

A bit tired.

I stayed up a bit too late last night. I didn't get to bed until 11:00. But it was for a good reason...I feel. My husband, daughter and me stayed up and watched The Passion. Beautiful movie. It was my husbands first time seeing it....mine and my daughters second. It was such a good feeling to watch it as a family. :o)

I got up at 7:00 this morning....7 hours is good but, when I do stay up body takes it out on me. Rightfully so...I don't balme it. Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Besides staying up late, my daughter and I went out to eat as well before the movie. It took a lot of energy, but it also felt so good just to finally get out of the house. back, shoulders and my arms and legs are hurting all over again. I need to get a lot of rest today. I can't even make an Easter dinner. But thats ok, thats not what Easter is all about anyway. :o)

Saturday, March 26, 2005

8 hours!

Yesss! I got 8 hours of sleep last night! My mind seems to be more clear this morning. :o) My right arm is doing it's thing on me again. It has decided to be numb, and not work properly. Other then that, so far so good. :::::crossing fingers::::: I don't have anything planned today. I'm still not able to actually leave the house...litterally. I can't even go onto the back porch yet. I'm still getting used to my new medicines. Our fence is done, it was finished yesterday. I can only see it from a window, I would like to go out side and look at it. I know I will soon. What's keeping me inside is, we have a lot of steps for me to go up and down, and It's a little too hard for that still. I can only do the inside stairs for now. :o) I'm getting there! :o)

Friday, March 25, 2005


I got 7 and a half hours of sleep last night! Yesss! :o) I had a low stress day yeaterday, and my shoulders, and my back (spine) was hurting me. This new medicine has actually turned out to be of help for me. Yay! I can feel all of the muscle cramps, but they aren't nearly as painful as they were. :o) I'm just very thankful for these days of relief...and hoping that they last a few more. :o)

Thursday, March 24, 2005


I recieve newsletters from In this last newsletter, it states this:

     Written emotional expression produces health benefits in fibromyalgia patients.

       Conclusion: Fibromyalgia patients experienced short-term benefits in
psychological and health variables through emotional expression of personal
traumatic experiences.

So, I thought that I would share this with you. That is why I have to write in this journal about my personal life as well. It does help me a lot.

.........If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.

-Catherine Aird


Yesterday seemed to be the same. I did, however, get some help from my son and daughter, as I was having trouble making dinner. It was such a welcomed help. :o) Just that little bit helped my shoulder a lot. I'm still trying to get used to the muscle relaxers. I just have to take it hour by hour. So far, so good with it helping my pain level. :o) Yay! I am glad that I do have them, if I didn't...I could only imagine what I'm feeling on the pills, and what I would feel without them. I'm very thankful that my doctor has finally listened, and have worked together with me.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005


I went to bed at 10:00 last night, and woke up at 2:40 this morning. :o) At least I did get some sleep. The medicine is still helping me a lot. All day yesterday, my back and shoulders were still hurting, and in a lot of pain, even though I had taken my pain medicine's, and my muscle relaxer, and a Vicodine! If I hadn't taken those muscle relaxers....I wonder what I would have felt like then? I wonder if my body is going into another exacerbation? I sure hope not. I do realize if I can get more sleep, that would help. And...if the stress wasn't as bad...I would be a lot better as well. As you might have read in my last entry, it was just a "sounding board" to try and help the stress. If only this one person that lives in this house could actually get it through his head to get into "our" reality, and not be so "self centered," and actually pull his wait in this house, it would really be helpful! I've decided to stop trying....I'm not even going to try anymore to get to know him, and I will talk to this person, and treat this person the same exact way that I'm treated by him. What else can I do? What do you do when you have a freeloader living in your house?

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Something to just get off my chest!

What I would like from my family is more responsibilty. They all try and help me by asking "how are you feeling?" Yet, they over look the small things that cause me the things that make me "not feel good," and to use up most of the energy that I do have. Example; when I try to go to our kitchen, we have an area rug in the hallway. It seems that it always has a "lump" in the middle. I do my best to walk around it with my walker. By the time I bend over to fix it, it takes up too much energy! A simple "chore" like that, turns into a major "energy zapper" by the time I do this numerous times a day! Please put water in the dishes so I don't have to scrub so hard when I wash them. If you drop toothpaste on the sink, wipe it up, asap! Don't leave it there for me to scrub a day later! Just take care of your OWN messes and you will save me a ton of energy! Especially when there are all adults living in this house! I also want them to know that I can feel good mentally, but not physically. If I'm happy and talking and having fun, that does NOT mean I can take you up on your offer to go to the mall or shopping! I can have pain and still be happy! Sometimes we are forced to act unhappy, even though we feel good so YOU do not expect so much from me physically. A good mental day does not equal a good physical day. One last thing I need from those in my life, is for you to NOT take it personally. This is my life, for the rest of my life! If we are somewhere and I ask to leave early, don't think something is wrong or that I'm mad. I just know my limits, and know I have to leave and get rest. I will push myself to be there for you. Thats out of love. I will do so much, and then regret, feel guilt, and beat myself up over and over, if I feel I'VE done something wrong. My family really needs to be able to relate to my STRESS and pain level! Well, this "illness" that I am experiencing had never been included in my bringing up as a child! The grief, and guilt feelings were also no where in my childhood to be prepared for this! I put on a brave face and grew more dependent on my husband and family members for my well being. I never realized how slowly my life had been taken from me. And how much! A piece at a time. What I did not know, was to take time to grieve, adjust. I was a woman with children! It was up to me to plan meals, shop, kiss boo boos, listen to my families problems, and do homewrok, mail bills, and attend school functions! I was trained to do all of that. I was never trained how to take care of myself. I am asking for those that do live in the same house as I please help me out by being the adult, and help around the house, and PICK UP AFTER YOURSELF! It takes way too much energy from me to do it now.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Photo's of my daughter! :o)

These are photo's of my daughter through out her pregnancy so far. :o) She will be 8 months in 1 week. :o) A lot of changes that she has went through... :o) In photo 5, that is my son in the photo as well...showing off his tummy! :o)

Boy! Do I feel a LOT better! :o)

I went to my doctors appointment. I told him about the pain pill that I took that was my friend's. I asked him why don't I have a "pain" pill to take when I abosultly need too? Because it did make me feel much better. Well......I not only was told to stop taking my Elavil, but he also gave me a medicine that is a muscle relaxer, ( about time ) and the same medicine that I used from my friend! :o) Plus....before I left, I got a muscle relaxer shot in the hip! YAY!!! Good Grief!!! I asked about what to expect and when will it happen? She told me in about a half an hour, I would start to feel my muscles relax a little, and it would last from 4 to 6 hours! It hit me when I got to the car!!! Yikes! I asked my mom if she could just get me to my pharmacy, and then home asap!!! :o) By the time I got home....I was laying on my walker to get to and in my house! Whoo !!!!! It hit me fast! And was I in NO pain!! :o) YAY! My mom got me out of my clothes, and into my Pj's. :o) And into bed. I ate lunch, took my other pill, and slept. I am still feeling great! I think this is going to work! Yessss! :o)

Another painful day.

After the things I did over the weekend...I am paying for it. Despite that I did have a great time in doing them...I am paying for it. Thats my life. I'm used to it now. I have a doctors appointment this morning. I'm going to ask him a few more questions regaurding a pain/muscle relaxer. I hope he will look into it for me. Thats all for now.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Getting out of the house was good.

Yesterday was a pretty good day for me...considering the past week. My best friend came over and I need to lay down. I had just gotten out of the shower, and it takes so much out of me to even take a shower. So afterwards, I usually have to lay down. She just happened to come right after it. :o) I layed down and When I got up...It was 6:00!!! Wow...I slept for awhile. Good! I came out of my room and she was here again.LOL She invited me to go with her to Red of our "Tiffany's!" I was very excited!!! :o) Heck yes...I was going! LOL The last time I was out of this house was my last doctors appointment. Plus, going there with her is always a good time! :o) I was ready in no time! We got there, and of course they was a 40 minute wait, and they give you a little thing that lights up when you are called. had been over an hour, and by watching people come in and be seated before us was getting alittle bit nerving. She walked up to the front desk and asked how much longer for us to be seated. They had crossed our name off!!!! I was absolutly livid! And so was she! Usually when we are out, I'm the one that will "go off" but she did! Then I did. We asked to speak with the manager, and he came out to our table. He told us that he would pay for one meal. Then when I was talking to him, I told him that when I come there, a waitress always takes my walker and puts it out of the way for me. Then he changed his mind, and told us that he would pay for ALL of our meals! In a way, that kind of pissed me off, because, "Let's make the poor crippled woman" happy! But, all in all, after calming down, the dinner went great! We still had fun! :o) It wasn't the usual fun place that we are used too, I was seated on the end of a table chair, where everytime anyone walked past me, hit my right shoulder, arm, and knocked my chair around. It did hurt, but there was no way I was going to complain. We were more then compensated for our dilma. I still had fun! YAY! I came home, relaxed, and then went to bed at 10:30, and didn't get up or even wake up through the night, until 6:00! 7 hours! YAY! I know I was so exhausted! I just had fun. Today, I have a dinner to attend. I belong to the Ladies Auxilary Eagles, and the annual Ladies dinner is today. I can't wait. It will be fun as well! :o) I can really use fun right now. :o)

Saturday, March 19, 2005

I tried.....

It was so beautiful and warm out yesterday. :o) It got up to 62 here. :o) My pain level was again very high yesterday, and I tried to take a nap....because I had gotten up a bit early again. Didn't I tried again around noon. This time I had opened my window, which is right by the head of my bed. :o) I love the out doors. The wind was blowing on me hust right. :o) I actually did get some rest that time. :o) When I got up...once again, there went my pain level. I was talking to my best friend on the phone, and I was telling her how much this week has been so bad for me. She said that it sounded like I need at least one good night's sleep. I of course agreed. She has some pain pills, that I've taken before, of my own prescription, and she sent over 3 for me to try to see if it would help me. I took one last night. I waited....waited....waited....and then it got to be around 10:50, and I just thought to myself if I just go lay down, maybe it will kick in and work. Nope! :o( I layed there as always, and tossed and turned as always. :o( I got up at 4:00 this morning. The only thing that it did help me on, was my muscles and pain. :o) My muscles "feel" so good and my pain is actually in a lower level right now. It didn't make me sleep, but it sure did help me out with my pain. :o) YAY! :o) I don't recomend that anyone else do the samething. What I took would be something my doctor would have agreed on. In fact, I'm going to ask him about it on Monday when I see him next. :o)

................Be kind,Every person you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Friday, March 18, 2005

........Only those who risk going too far will ever know how far they can go.

another day....

I had a hard time getting to sleep again last night. I got to bed at 1:30, and I got up at 7:30. I did get 6 hours of sleep! That should help. Thats all for now.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

A bit better.

Well....I cried most of the day. My mom told me that she would stop by after court to let me know how things went. She didn't. Then I got very worried and thought she was mad at me for not being there for help. So, I cried. My son and I had a spat early on in the morning. That made matters worse. I cried over that. My body is in a total freak out mode. My daughter seen that my sister who lives with my mom, get on line at around 3:50. I asked my daughter to let me get on line so I could email her. I really was upset then...because seeing that my sister was on line, I thought then my mom was really upset at me. Not the case. Whew! I wasted a whole day of doing nothing but crying and worrying and causing more added pain to my body. My mom called me to let me know the outcome, and it was good. :o) I'm so glad, and she wasn't mad at me at was my own guilt that I thought up in my head, that she would be upset at me. I should have known better. But...thats me, a worrier. :o( I just got off the phone with her, and I feel better. I don't feel the guilt anymore. But....of course, I do still have all of the other stressers on my mind. That will take time to get rid of. Only if I'm able to talk about it to the right people. In this house? Yea, right! :o( I am done crying....and I feel so silly about worrying over this. But..thats me. :o)

Too much to handle....

I woke up early once again, and went to bed late...seems like this is becoming something of a horrible habbit that my body has gotten itself into. I woke up at 3:00 this morning with weird dreams waking me up. I think I've figured out why I've been in such pain for so long. It's not the things that I've been physically doing. I haven't done anything. It's all the things that I have on my mind...which is a sh*t load! To say the least. It has been things that I can't talk about to the right people. Because I'm afraid that I will upset them. I did something last night that makes me feel like sh*t. I was suppose to go to court for my mom today, but I called and let her know that I just couldn't do it. Thats not because I don't love her and that my heart isn't with her. Believe me, I feel the guilt as well. Since I get the "fibro fog," I know I would choose a wrong word to say, and could possible mess things up. I couldn't do that either. Because this past week, I've been not able to concentrate at all. The pain has been too massive. My prayers are still with her. I really wish that I could talk about the other stresser in my life. If I do, I feel it would cost me tremendously. So...I hold it in. It goes to show that even physchological things can make the body go into an exacerbation! How much more can I take? I guess we'll see. I want so badly to be able to talk with my daughter about certain things, but I know she will take them all wrong. So I keep quite. She's pregnant, and thats the last thing that I want to ever do is to make her upset. Which when I do try to talk to her, she does get upset, and takes things all reason is because I can't find the right words to say because I feel I need to pick and choose the right words to try not to upset her. Thats a viscious circle. Then, there are more I need to talk about to someone else. I don't see that one happening very soon either. You have to walk on "eggshells" around this person, or they will think you have it in for them. Which isn't the case. I realize that I'm rambling, but I need to get this out, and off of my chest. I'm a nice person. I try to help people. But, someone throw me a rope would be nice if I could resolve these issuses! I know I'd feel better. But, if I do say anything, "I'm a bitch," and"In a bad mood!" All I want is to just feel better again, and not be in so much that too much to ask for?

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Just a comment.

"In our society, you either get better or you die, and fibromyalgia
patients don't do that, we don't fit in the mold, so people
don't know what to do with us."

Couldn't get to sleep again.

I was up late last night....I couldn't get to sleep. I finally went to bed at 2:00! I got up this morning at 6:00. :o( I suppose 4 hours of sleep is better then none. I'm still in a lot of pain....My right shoulder and arm, both hips, and back, and my legs. I am still having problems with getting my legs to straighten out. The muscles in them are so tight. My physical therapist is coming this morning.....I can't wait for her to put me through the pain that will make me feel better. The last time she was here...I screamed a little and cried a lot. made me feel better in the end. Whew! :o) I guess you can say it's a good hurt. I haven't done anything at all to aggrivate my body at all. If trying to walk around the house is aggrivation...then I have. But I can't just lay or sit around all day. Oh well.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Please visit this site.

I still cannot stress enough on how knowledge is power. Again I'm going to put up this web site.  Go to the right of the page, scroll down a bit, and click on the Welcome Package. You will recieve 3 emails packed full of information. I've never seen so much info. on fibromayalgia. Even in my own searches, I have never came up with this much information. Thanks. :o)

I did it...YAY!

I finally was able to sleep just a bit longer this morning. :o) I went to bed at 10:00, and woke up at 5:30! Thats been the most sleep in awhile. :o) I am feeling a bit better as well this morning. I didn't stay in bed like I was told to do yesterday....I honestly am not the kind of person that likes to just lay in bed all day...unless I honestly can't move, then I don't have a choice. I can straighten out my legs a bit more this morning too. :o) My husband slept on the couch again last night, just incase I would need him. When he does that, I do feel safer. This is going to be a much better day. I'm still in pain, but from the extra will make things so much better and things will heal from this. :o) 7 and a half hours of sleep!!! WOOOOHOOOO!!!!:o)

Monday, March 14, 2005

Not too good today. physical therapist just left. She had to give me a full body rub. :o( OUCHIE! The only thing that didn't need rubbed out was my head! She told me that I'm in an exacerbation right now. Great! I knew I was hurting pretty bad. She said that she will be coming back 3 extra times this week to help me as much as she can. I'm so thankful for her. I honestly don't know what I'd do without her helping hands. :o)

What a day...

Yesterday I was sick, and my fibro was acting up big time. I can almost say that my body was in a complete exacerbation. I could hardly even move, and not feeling well didn't help. I got sick in the late morning, and it felt as if it all hit me at once. That figures. Why not? I layed down to try to feel better. Didn't fact, I was feeling worse. My husband told me that I looked like I had been beaten up. Well...I felt like it too. Everything, my whole body hurt. From head to my feet. The pain was very bad. I don't know to blame the fibro for being sick as well. I went to bed at 9:00. I got up at 4:30 this morning. My right arm is half numb....that feels weirder than when it is all the way numb. When it does this, it makes my arm heavy, and then pulls on my shoulder. A double edged sword. My back, shoulders, arms, legs, and so much more are still hurting this morning. My physical therapist will be coming in today...I can't wait. My husband was so worried about me last night...he slept on the couch so that just in case I needed him. :o) That made me feel more comfortable. :o) He said that he hates not being able to help me out of my pain. So do I. :o) But just the thought of him wanting to help me, makes me feel comfortable, and a little more safe. :o) If I need him today..I'm to call him. :o) And I will do just that if I do. :o)

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Just naps.

It seems that all I've been doing is just taking naps....not actually going to bed at night and sleeping through the night. :o( I've been to my sleep specialist and everything is fine on that's just this horrid fibro. :o( Thats one thing you can deffinetly say about never know what to expect. It can be, "Anything can Happen Day," or, "Lets see how I can ruin your day!" I only was able to sleep 3 and a half hours tonight...and it wasn't very restful. I woke up with my right arm and the right side of my face was numb as well. Now thats a weird feeling! Having half of your face numb! Oh yea! It's fine now. My husband and I worked on this room yesterday, and in my bedroom. Boy does it look good! :o)All I have to do now is to organize this desk. YAY! I was so exhausted after it was all arms and legs felt like noodles. My back and left leg and hip were killing me. And I mostly sat and directed were things were to be put. Again....thats my life with fibro.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Just 8 hours.....

Again....I got up early. Like I said's like I take naps instead of a night's sleep. This is really wearing down my body. I can only imagine what it's doing to my imune system. No wonder I've been having problems with certain things. Geesh! I feel like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz....besides feeling like I need oiled every day....I also feel like I need to go to Oz to ask for sleep! So far, my back hasn't hurt as bad as it did. Whew! Don't need that! It did, however, start hurting a little more yesterday. And so did my left knee, my shoulders again, and my right arm, and left hip...etc...I could go on and on, but no need to. I have plans to finally put my room together today. I still haven't been able to get things put away where they belong. My husband is going to help I know it will get done, and he is very helpful. :o) He took the weekend off to spend it with me. :o) That makes me happy! :o) I need coffee......later! :o)

Friday, March 11, 2005


Yesterday, I was very weak and tired. This may sound funny, but before I can take my shower...I have to rest up to get some energy to do so. I was too weak, so I decided to take a nap first. I layed down at 10:30 am. and didn't get up until 4:30! I couldn't believe how long I had slept! Of course...I took my shower. Last night, I went to bed at 10:00....and I just got up at 2:00! It seems to me that all I do is sleep in a few hours at a time.....which in fact I do have a sleep disorder thats part of norcilepsy. I'm begining to wonder if this is why I have such an odd sleep pattern. My husbands mom has I know what she goes through. No, I'm not trying to diagnose myself. I'm just telling what I am going through.

My pain has gotten better since my physical therapist worked on my back. :o) That was so much of my pain. When my back is hurting as bad as it really effects everything else. My shoulders are the only thing that is in pain right now. Now, that doesn't exclude any muscle spasms or my "knots" that go on 24/7. Those I've learned to deal with at times. They are painful as well...but not as bad as my shoulders, hips, and my back. Boy....this horrid disease is very hard to explain. I do my best. :o)

Thursday, March 10, 2005

A bit better.

Yesterday when my physical therapist came....I was really hoping that she could make me feel a bit better. Especially my back. I do like I always do, and told her were and what was really hurting me....then she really worked on my back this time. :o) Boy did it hurt...but felt good. :o) It feels better today. The time that she was here seemed longer. I do know that she really took the time to hit every spot that I had mentioned. And thats a lot. Plus....I had other pains that I didn't realize I had, because of my back and shoulder pains were hurting too badly. I'm very thankful for being able to have her. :o)

I'm hoping to feel better soon. I've had my beads and other craft things sitting out...ready for me to start. I'm hoping maybe next week sometime, I'll be able to do something. :o) Right now...I'm limited on what I'm able to do. I know I'll feel back to my "normal" self soon. :o)

Wednesday, March 9, 2005


Yesterday was the same. All the same pains. Some spasms going on here and there in my shoulders and arms. When I could barely walk, I just took baby steps. I'm still weak...and my legs are very weak, and I'm not sure why. I haven't gained any weight, so I'm still down to 173. Which is very good. :o) I've lost over 30 pounds within 3 months time. I'm still I don't think the reason that my legs are so weak is because of my weight. My physical therapist will be coming again today....boy I can't wait! I know it's going to hurt...but it's always worth it. :o)

My daughter had a doctor appoinment yesterday....and she now weighs 143! Thats so good...she had lost so much weight when she first got pregnant. She lost about 20 pounds! Now she's only 10 pounds over then her normal weight. :o) But she and the baby are very healthy! yay! :o) She went to her first lamaze class last night as well. :o)

Ok...there goes the pain again...going now.

Tuesday, March 8, 2005

Ok....this time it was backwards. lol

Ok....last night, I couldn't get to sleep! Geesh! Normally, I can't stay asleep! I did, however, get 6 hours of sleep. Thats pretty good. :o) I have good news. My blood work came back very good this time. :o) Whew! It did show that my cholesterol is normal. Not in the high range. :o) YAY! doctor still needs to monitor me for my blood sugar...not too bad yet, but is on it's way there. Plus...I am going to go see a Lipid specialist. My liver is still not that good. That news was so much off of my mind! :o) I was getting a bit worried. Other then that...I got some pretty weird news as well yesterday! lol Um...I have had this itching redness on my upper thigh. I told the doctor about it, and he took a look. I have diaper rash! LOL So...I have the cream that has to put on it 2 times a day for 2 weeks! lol Who would have thought that?!! :o) Just goes in my book of..."I didn't see that coming!" :o) I am though, in some pain today. It's mainly the upper body, and of course my back. This is my life! :o)

Sunday, March 6, 2005


Ok...I don't know what's going on with my system. I got up too early tonight. My right arm was in way too much pain...and am still having problems with it going numb. I do have a doctors appointment today...and I can't wait. Of course he can't do anything about my arm. Oh well. I'm dealing. Getting up at 12:39 is just too rediculous. Having 2 hours of sleep isn't going to help the pain at all. I'm hoping that I'll be able to take a nap. ::::crossing fingers:::: I had a lot of fun today. My best friend and her daughter threw a baby shower for my daughter! :o) It was a blast! My daughter has so much things for the baby now. Whew...I was getting a little worried about that part. But all has turned out good. :o) I took a lot of photo's...when I get them developed...I will post them. :o) I suppose thats all for now. :o)

Up early again.

Well....maybe 6 hours is all I am able to sleep. But I think it has a lot to do with the pain I'm experiancing. My back is hurting very badly. Thats what woke me up. I couldn't find a position that was comfortable enough to stay in bed. I except that this is part of my life...for the rest of my life.

Saturday, March 5, 2005

It's snowing again. :o(

I made it through another day. The blood test that I had yesterday was a two part testing. I didn't know that. I had the first set done, then I had to go back down there 2 hours after I had eaten something for another blood test. That was a hassel. I really took so much out of me. I was so weak afterwards, that I came home and took a 5 and a half hour nap! My body must have needed it. When I got up...I asked my daughter if she'd like to go to Wal-Mart to get a few more things for the baby. Plus, I needed to get more things for the baby shower this Sunday as well. We went, and we both were so worn out. And we didn't really do anything but to get what I had on my list. My whole left side woke me up this morning at 4:25! My knee and hip were in the worst pain. They were hurting me so badly, I couldn't move. I tried to rub my knee, but it hurt to touch it. :o( So...needless to say, I had to lay there for about 20 minutes before I could at least roll over to my side. By that time...I was wide I ended up getting up. I know I probably over ran my body again. I still need to get a few morw things today...but I can go to a store thats here in this town for those items. Whew! The driving to the towns north and south of here, really makes my legs and arms weak. Oh well...just another day in my life with fibromyalgia. :o)

Friday, March 4, 2005

What a day.

Yesterday, my daughter and I went to Meijers to get a few more things for the baby. :o) That was fun. :o) Things sure have changed since my last daughter! lol By the time we got home, I was so weak. I used a motorized vehical, and still felt as if I walked the whole time. My whole left side was in pain, and very weak. Both of my arms were weak as well. It's still a mystery to me. I had another encounter with a woman while I was trying to get on a motorized vehical. I had to have some help, so my daughter was helping me to get seated. All the while....a lady was just standing and staring at us. I wanted to say something so badly....but of course....I couldn't think at that time. Bummer. So...that inspired me to go directly to the computer department to get some bussiness cards, and the soft ware to make them! I finally did it! I now have bussiness cards that say; Just because you cannot see my pain, doesn't mean that I don't have any. I have fibromyalgia. I can't put a bandaid over me to make me feel better. Then I put a fibromyalgia web site on it. :o) So, when the next time something like this happens again, I will give one to them. I feel that education cures ignorance. This morning I went to the hospital for more blood work. I have to go back 2 hours after I eat a meal, to get more blood drawn. Oh yay! :o( Other then all of what I've pain level is a 7 this morning. Not too bad for me. :o)

Thursday, March 3, 2005

I have no idea anymore.

I have been waking up in the middle of the night again. This really gets the best of me. My lower back, and my legs are the worst right now. I'm to the point, once again, to not knowing what to do for it/me. When my physical therapist gets here this morning, I'm going to ask again if there is anything that I can do to help it/me out. I woke up at 3:30 this morning from the pain in my back. I tried to find a new position to lay in....I found one. :o) YAY! But, I had to get up at 5:00. But at least I did get a bit more sleep. :o) My right shoulder is still swollen. I get so tired of just sitting I mopped the kitchen floor yesterday. Well....I started paying for that imeditly. I'll probably have to put my arm in my sling today to take the pressure off of it for awhile. It might be the weather...but it seems that this week has really gotten me in a hard 8, and almost a 9! I only thought that the people that have arthritis with the fibromyalgia have more problems with the weather....I was wrong! Today, I don't have anything planned. Whew! Well....except for calling my pharmacist to see what happened to one of my perscriptions. I had my daughter take 3 of them in, and they only gave me back 2....I need the third one also. Geesh.....I've had way too much problems with them, I honestly think I should change. Other then all of that....I'm really trying to feel better. :o)

Wednesday, March 2, 2005

Nothing different.

Nothing different to report.

Tuesday, March 1, 2005


I got up too early again...2:40. The pain in my back has been so intence, it's making it hard to function in my daily life. My physical therapist couldn't do anything for it. She tried the pillows under my legs, but it made it worse. She told me that I will have to try my best to deal with it. It's just a part of a fibromyalgia life. How fun it is. You really can't even tell anyone that you are in pain....only to let them know that you are in pain, doesn't help it go away. My daughter even agreed to that one. So...I'm in pain...thats my life, and talking about it isn't going to make it go away.