Friday, July 29, 2005
What a week.
I didn't get much sleep tonight. I only had 3 hours, I've been up since 2:00 am. Not a good thing. I still have so many things on my mind. I know everyone is tired of hearing that, but, this is apart of my life, and it also really effects my fibromaylgia big time. My right arm is what woke me up, the pain was in my elbow and my shoulder. Plus, too much on my mind was racing around in my head. My husband and I were talking last night. It was so nice to be able to talk to him. This house that we live in now, he and I don not have any privacy at all, or any place to go to just be alone, or just talk. He said last night how much he misses our old house because of the room we had there. I was sitting on the front porch smoking and he came out as well. That was our time. I loved it. He asked how I was doing, and I was telling him about all of my muscle cramps and where they are, and he said that he wishes he could do something to help me. That made me feel so good inside. :o) He's a special man. :o) The thing is, we were talking about our money situation, and mine as well. I get an S.S.I. check monthly, which isn't much and barely gets me through the month. He works 12 hour days, and we live week by week on his check, plus what I give him from my check to help him. With all of the people that live here, our bills have doubled and some trippled. The bills do get payed, but leaves us with out money to get other things that we need. I can't afford to put gas in my car this month, so I asked him if he could do that for me, and he said yes. :o) When we were talking, he says when will we be able to get our break in life? I would like to know the same. He helps everyone with anything they need, he works his butt off even when it's hot or if he's sick. Most of the things that I went through in the garage that wasn't unpacked yet he took to a place in town to donate them. He's been having headaches lately. Which is unusual for him. He doesn't get them. Which I've never met anyone that doesn't get them. I think it's the same stuff thats on my mind as well. Things that we need, and can't afford. I feel so bad for him. Last week he had to fix the side walk, took money we didn't have, but now no one will trip and fall and it was all broken up so it had to be fixed. There are so many other things that need to be done to the house. He said if he knew it was this bad, we wouldn't have moved here. I talked to him about my money situation for this month, and because of the new medicine that costs $190.00, I'm really going to be struggling. Before this new medicine, I was going to surprise him this month with a new deck kit, because the deck we have is getting bad and weak, and an out door furniture set that I seen at Sears. :o) Then I would be able to sit with him out back. :o) He would have loved that. :o) Like he said, when is it time for our break? The stress in the house is over, but the money situation is still there. I love him to death. I don't like seeing him as stressed out as this, and it in return, stresses me out. Geesh! Sorry for ramling on, but this too is apart of some of my problems with the pain I am having. It's just a day in my life.