Sunday, December 16, 2007

If I were Santa


If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do;
I'd dump silly gifts that were given to you,
And deliver some things just inside your front door,
Things you have lost, but treasured before.

I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor,
And to go along with it, neat tiny figure.
Then presto, the old color that once graced your hair,
Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.

I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted,
So things now suspended need not be uplifted.
I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back,
Until you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.

I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin,
So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin.
You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells,
And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.

No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes ;
No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.
Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny
From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.
You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take
And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.
Yes if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid.
You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of cupid.
I'd give you a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle,
And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle

But Alas! I'm not Santa, I'm simply just me;
The matronliest of matrons you ever did see.
I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got,
But I'm due at the doctor's for an estrogen shot.



Even though we've grown older this wish is sincere:

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!


 

6 comments:

misswings60 said...

I really liked that. That would be great ,if only!!!! lol!!!!  love ya baby, mom

imgr8phil said...

I do have to say that this was very nice and poetic.  I hope you have yourself a sensational Sunday.

Phil

kirkbyj05 said...

I wish.......!   You have got me in the mood to send Santa my wish list now!
All of the above and more .....please!

Great entry!   I enjoyed that.
Hugs
Jeanie xxxx

lisa41076 said...

Awwwwwww Lisa I wish you were Santa but you still make me smile, Love and Hugs Lisa XO

cuteallison1980 said...

I really like this.  I don't know where you get this stuff, but you have a knack for finding it.  Hope your Sunday is a good one, and that you aren't too cold back there.  Luv ya!

Allison

ukgal36 said...

h