Sunday, December 9, 2007

Man + Woman

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime



SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.



GENERAL EQUATIONS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.




LONGEVITY STATISTICS

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.



PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.



DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING
MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me
in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to
them at funerals.


 


5 comments:

misswings60 said...

I loved that,and it so true.lol!! D0n't forget you have a doctors appointment tomorrow morning. I'll be over to see you and take you honey. love,love mommy

imgr8phil said...

A lot of these are very true.  Have a wonderful Sunday.

Phil

cuteallison1980 said...

I like the discussion technique.  LOL  We get the last word always!  That is our right LOL.  Have a nice Sunday.  Luv ya!

Allison

ma24179 said...

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. <<-- that was my favorite! -Missy

kamdghwmw said...

Oh those are so true!
Kelli
http://journals.aol.com/kamdghwmw/noonmom