Tuesday, May 6, 2008

I have so much that I need to log today.
*****Warning***** I might say something that offends someone.

This part shouldn't be offensive. Since last Thursday, I've been having a pretty hard time using my hands. I cant even count how many times that I've dropped things. Already this morning, I dropped my coffee carafe on my right thigh and burnt it. Again, I just started crying. I don't like it when I cry. Thats all I seem to get done doing. I was able to get up and get another gown on and did my best with my thigh. Last Thursday, I was in the kitchen with my home health aide and I was making a cup of chocolate milk. When I picked it up, I dropped it, and the whole cup was all over the floor. And she just washed the floor. I'm glad she has a good sence of humor. Since then, all I keep doing is dropping things. My hands aren't working right like they did. I was so glad it was the weekend too, because dh was here with me. He's already called me to see if things are going ok. I told him about the hot coffee.
Dh was very helpful to me all weekend. I don't know what I would've done without him. I appreciate everything that he does for me. My BP yesterday morning was 149/135. Pulse was 112. It's gone down a lot. This morning it's 141/86. I do these before I get out of bed.
My legs, mainly my right one are swelling again. I don't know the 'why' in this. I'm starting to get used to it. I don't know if thats bad or good. Just used to it. I wanted to take a nice hot bath last night. Dh wouldn't let me alone, and I'm glad. He seen how I have to struggle just to shave my legs, (my legs don't 'twist' anymore from the hip, they are just straight) and just how hard it is for me really just to do anything. He kept telling me to breath. I told him thats what happens when I get a bath, it takes so much out of me. Thats sad. I should be able to take a bath if I want to, on my own without getting so out of breath. When I was done, I hurried to get my oxyden on. Of course that helped me.
*****This might offend someone*****
Dh had came down and was talking to me in my bedroom. ( LOL....I'll tell you later ) I asked him if he might have noticed how much it takes out of me just to bath. My hips really don't work anymore and nor do my shoulders. Which makes it hard to do certain things in everyone's life. I asked him that when he is here, if he could wipe me after I go #2? I feel so bad having to actually ask that. I've told myself, if I ever have to have someone do that for me, then there goes my dignaty out the window. I can't do it anymore because of my stupid shoulders. There has been way too many things happening to me all at once again. I'm losing so much more abilities again. It's 99.9% to where I shouldn't be here alone anymore. After I get done with this, I'll play some games on Pogo then go back and watch tv in bed. The thing that I thought was funny; Dh bought me an air conditioner just for my room. Yes, we do have central air but it doesn't seem to be enough anymore. My system is out of whack. He told me that now that I have that in my room, that I can freeze myself as much and often as I want to. When he came in to talk to me, he had on 2 coats and a pair of gloves. lol I had it pretty cold. I think it was 60. Plus 2 fans going. :o) It was perfect for me.
From me dropping almost eveything I've had in my hands this weekend and then having to ask him if he could wipe me, my mood isn't too good. I do feel depressed and just overloaded with too many things that I'm losing so fast once again. My meldown wasn't even done yet. I'll just chuck it in with all of the other things thats fueling this meltdown.
I hope you like the pictures above.




ajquinn354 said...

Lisa the pictures are precious of your daughter and grandsons, thanks for sharing them.  I'm sorry you are going through so much, know your days can be pretty rough.  No offense taken dear, until someone is in your shoes they don't have any idea what each minute of the day is like for you, you need some help, that's part of what family does for each other when you are having health situations, don't worry about it.  Wish someone could be with you all the time to help you, be careful when making anything hot, especially if you are by yourself.  Take care. Arlene (AJ)

mclr53 said...

Hi Lisa, I know you don't really know me but I have been reading your life story for a long time and I just could not keep silent any longer.  You need to get a different DR.  someone in your family needs to insist that your not getting proper care.  There needs to be a primary physician who oversees your care.  You also need specialists for any particular condition that you have.  And they all need to collaborate your medical care.

You should not be having blood pressure issues that are frightening.  There are medications for your blood pressure and apparently you are not on the right one. Also their are medications for the fluid.  The blood pressure and the fluid go hand in hand.  Please Lisa if you cannot get someone in your family to speak up for you then you need a medical advocate, someone who is willing to let the "professionals" know that your care is sub-standard.  A week or so ago you were told by one of your Dr.s to go to emergency and have them admit you. I was appalled that the ER DR. did not call the admitting physician and have you admitted, someone needs to call the Dr. who sent you to ER and tell him they did not follow his orders.  Lisa a lot of Dr. think because we are women we blow things out of proportion, well in your case you have a lot going on, but YOU DO HAVE RIGHTS.  

INSIST that someone do something about your blood pressure and the fluid and find out why suddenly you cannot hold things in your hand.  You have a beautiful family and they want you around for a long time.  Don't let the medical community blow you off. GET SOME ANSWERS!   Hugs jean

chat2missie said...

Sending lots of hugs.

gehi6 said...

No, I don't think what happened should offend anyone because of the reasons why it is happening.  I am sorry you are having to suffer these indignities, but I think your family and DH would gladly do them in order to have you there with them. That photo of Kayden and baby Andrew is so precious.  You can tell that they are both going to be blue eyed boys!  And what eyes.  Gerry

sanguinelioness said...

Lisa, please listen carefully to what Jean has said. She makes many excellent points.
I am very concerned, as well, that you are not receiving the care that you are entitled to. I had hoped that you were going to see that other Dr. and perhaps get a new set of eyes on your case. It does not look like this is happening.
She is absolutely correct about getting a medical advocate if you cannot advocate for yourself or if no one in your family is able to do so at this time.

You NEVER should have been sent home last week from the ER without being admitted. They should have taken care of you then...doesn't seem like they really listened. This week things are worsening. That is simply NOT acceptable. DON'T ALLOW IT!
You are in my prayers,

peytonswater said...

Love the pictures!  I'm sure that was hard to ask him. I would have personally been laughing as I asked.  I know it must be hard in someway I know. But I would do that for anyone that needed it.

katie39041@talktalk.net said...

Jean said it like it is, get help Lisa. I can relate to your dignity because i too are having some major issues right now. Your in my thoughts and prayers Lisa.
gentle hugs and love

nightmaremom said...

Lisa I do hope you will find a doctor who will listen and follow up..  this is so very wrong.  

imgr8phil said...

Your new snuggle bunny is awfully cute.  I wish beyond wishing that I could do something for you, that I had the power to make sure you had  your health and your dignity.  Hope you have a decent hump day tomorrow Lisa.


cuteallison1980 said...

I wouldn't wish what you have to go through day by day on anyone.  I just wish you didn't have to go through it.  I know it gets tiresome for you.  No major words of wisdom from me, just hopin' you will have a good day tomorrow and thn the next.  Luv ya!


lanurseprn said...

I agree with Jeans comment...#2. She says it well...and very clearly. JMO

ndnhunny30 said...

Hi hunny I wish I could just take it all away!! Log whenever you need to whatever you need to, I am always here to listen and read anything you need to get off your chest. IF you ever really want to vent and are fearful of doing it here shoot me an IM or email anytime ;)
Love you and hugs, Robyn

lisa41076 said...

Awwwwwwww hon , thinking of you and praying too, Love Lisa