Friday, April 4, 2008


Again, what a week this has been. I was very worried about my daughter and just felt so helpless because I couldn’t give her help. I gave her hugs and I love you’s but sometimes thats just not enough. I love her and the unborn baby too much for anything to happen to them. I think she’s better now knowing more about it. I pray she and the baby will be fine.
I’ve been getting my days all mixed up again. Geesh, how hard is it to keep track of!!! There are also so many other, "Just little" things as well. My memory isn’t working right still. I can remember the stupid little things and then the important stuff seems to evoperate! I’m really starting to feel helpless to myself as well. And with the 50 lbs. that I’ve gained...(water weight) it is really scaring me! There are times I just want to just sit and cry. I’m doing the right stuff on my end, I just need for my nurse and doctor to do theirs! Because as of right now, with the two of them NOT helping me...it’s put all of this water in me! I’m just so pissed about that! I’m NOT a statistic, I’m human! They don’t have to feel this or go through it so why should they help!
I finally had the chance to talk to dh. I told him that I’m having a major melt down and have been for almost a year now! I’m overwhelmed and I’m losing my dignity. I can’t take it if I’m diagnosed with anything more! I’m just so done! Dh doesn’t like to hear me talk like this, but this is how I do feel.
I’ve been doing what my doctor has told me and things are still happening. Life really sucks. I haven’t been on the computer like I used to be. I’m doing my best to keep my legs up.
~Bye

10 comments:

hugsdoodlewacky said...

(((((((((((((((((((((LISA))))))))))))))))))I care.

elmofromoz said...

(((((((((((((((((((Sweetie))))))))))))))))) I do stop by and read your journal everyday but don't always leave a comment. Hope someday doctors will listen to us and understand what we feel. I wish I could make them change places with us so they would understand.

imgr8phil said...

I can feel your frustration and wish that I could do something for you just as you feel helpless.  I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers Lisa.  Hope you will have a decent weekend.

Phil

cuteallison1980 said...

I'm sure your daughter and baby will be fine.  I'm worried about you Lisa.  I wish there was something I could do to help you.  All I can do is offer a cyber hug and wish you a happy weekend.  Luv ya!

Allison

emabecmar said...

will put your daughter and baby in prayers. have a nice weekend. (((((((hugs)))))))
Love,
Cindy

texastames35 said...

hi lisa  I AND WE LOVE YOU , MAY GOD HEAL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY , AND FRIENDS , I THINK AND PRAY FOR YOU ALL DAILY YOUR WELCOME GOD IS THERTE , YOUR NOT ALONG , IM NOT SURE WHY YOU HAVE TO HAVE THIS WHY IT HAPPEN , I WISHED IT DIDNT , AND THIER WASNT ANY THING LIKE THIS , KEEP DOING  YOUR BEST AND KEEP THINKING + , IT HELPS TO THINK IM BEATING THIS . IM GOING TO COME THUR THIS GOD HAS HIS HANDS ON ME AND MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS , U ARE BEATING THIS , BIG BIG HUGS I LOVE YOU , IM HERE FOR YOU THANKLS SO MUCH FOR SHARING WITH US , MANY DAILY PRAYERS , THINKING OF YOU , HOW THAT NEW BABY AND YOUR DEather i thinking all  is good and thier ok , hi grandedmom, ur neeeded , u have love and faith , and you have lots to offer , im sry about everything , i know it dont help like i want it to but i do feel the things and all , may peace be with you and may gods hands touch you , good job , well done , we love you much , my family and friends say that that are praying and keeping you in thier hearts and prayers and knowing that god will be there and ccarry us thur , also hi ,. ur welcome thank you , its very nice being friends ,

pharmolo said...

I just can't get over the lack of interest shown by your dr. 50 lb in weight? Well, continue to wish you strength, and am pleased you could talk it over with dh.

arlenes627 said...

omg. bless you truly and someone  please bless me truly same, for lately i've been saying the same thing daily.

zoepaul6968 said...

My mum and indeed I have suffered severly with odema,leaving me with some awful blue/purple scarring on my legs and feet,so obviously wearing skirts etc is a complete no no,actually going out anywhere now for me is a no no,i get panic attacks before I go out of the door and make up excuses to not go at all,i dunno whats wrong with me either,in a way i wish we could swap just for a day,at least youd get a break then,im not adverse to physical pain,its the mental stuff i cant handle. zoe xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/zoepaul6968/domestic-chaos/

emabecmar said...

(((((((((Lisa))))))))))) I have both you and your daughter in prayers.
Love ya,
Cindy