Monday, June 16, 2008


I do apologize for letting someone actually get to me as bad as I let it. It has effected me in a manner that can greatly control my life. I've worked for years and years to not do the things that I've over come. I'm still a recovering anorexic and a cutter. I will always be this way because the feelings never do go away. It's always in the back of your mind when something is either said or done something. It can happen, and then you're struggling all over again. This is what happened.
My choice to cut myself is my letter opener, or whatever I can find. My choice for dealing with anorexia, is as it always was. Not eating. And I have lost 7 pounds.

Do you think that the one that has done this too me cares? Nope! Probably just going on with their lives and saying to themselves, "Mission acomplished!" Sad. Plus, what is this fine line of just writing about your life and your illnesses being so negative? I really want to know. I have good days and bad days, just like everyone else does, but I chose to write about it.

Love this graphic! Thank you Sugar. :o) Too cool! :o)
All day yesterday, I was fighting a battle of hives! My hives have put me in the hospital! They do get that bad. I get hives when I get extremly upset/hurt. I still have some, so I have to deal with them. gggrrr!
My shaking is almost gone. Good news. I did also deleted that coment. I feel 100% better that I did that.
I'm still having problems with the urine staying in my bladder. I had a 14 fr, dh is going to the pharmacy to get the 16 fr. I had some problems with the others, I'm still so swollen, it's very hard to do it bymyself. We'll see with the next ones.
If these are better to where I can do them by myself, then I'll just keep the other ones for either dh or my nurse to do.

Yes, my left side of my chest is still doing its thing. It hurts. I just have to get used to it like I've did with all the other pains I have.
I'm going now. Don't forget to sign my new guestbook. :o) I lost my other one.



arlenes627 said...

hugs and love,

sugarsweet056 said...

Prayers for you my friend. {{}}

lurkynat said...

this entry was very strong and very good!
Thank you and thank Sugar!

elmofromoz said...

You sound Very Positive...KEEP IT UP!!!!
Love ya

ajquinn354 said...

Just hang tight there Lisa, life is complicated enough with all we have to go through and deal with to let anyone upset you to the point your health becomes more effected.  If you get any more like just delete it, I wouldn't even waste my time reading through it when you see that first comment that is stressful to you dear. Take care.  Arlene (AJ)

hugsdoodlewacky said...

((((((((((((((((((((LISA))))))))))))))))))))))I dont understand why anyone would say anything bad about you,you are a good,caring and loving person.You go through so much. am always praying for you and for your health to get better.Just think of your family an your Grandkids who bring you nothing but joy and happyness.I love you!!!

cuteallison1980 said...

All I can really say to you Lisa is to not waste your precious time getting upset over what someone might say or think about you.  Just make sure you keep real people in your life that will tell you the truth but at the same time be sensitive to your feelings.  I know it is hard to maintain happiness and a positive attitude but please try to keep yourself on an even keel.  Have a happy Tuesday.  Luv ya!


thegirlnexdoor77 said...

Keeping you in thoughts and prayer...hope that things keep on the positive for you!  Hugs,TerryAnn

merry1621 said...

Lisa, what is this about Anorexia and cutting?  Yes, those impulses never leave you; you just learn to live with them & control them,even if tit means therapy.  Am I missing a dynamic here. Are you talking about someone else, or yourself? I've been thru that too!

I have had to reinstall AOL.  I cannot get to my Journal except through my old verson of AOL which will  not allow me to read names of people mailing me, or for me to reply to them.  The bigggest problem really is though, that I cannot open my Journal in the NEW version, It's a mess.  I can only read it, not add an entry.
I just thought you might want to know.  If not; that's okay, too.

In the middle of a flood I don't have time to deal with AOL tech help.  But I'll staraighten it out.  Meanwhile, Please take care to the best of your ability of yourself.  Okay?