Friday, June 6, 2008

~Is it really worth it

My day has been up and down. I'm doing my best to be more up than down.
Did you know that crying your heart out (no pun intended), doesn't do anything to make you feel better. In fact, It's made me have alot more pains now. That 'shocking' thing that happens that I still think it has something to do with the MS. And of corse, the fibro.
I've been in my bed to get my legs and feet to go down. They still are the same. I don't get it.
Well, My nerves are totaly shot. I don't have anyone to talk to about this ( the lquid in my left lung), so theres nothing I can do about that. I've cryed all day today. I just added this to my illnesses page. You can click on the proper graphic and it'll take you there.
I feel like I'm in some freaked out dream and I want to wake up. It's not fair that your soul is much younger than the flesh (body). But I guess thats just something we all have to go through in our lives.
When I lay down in my bed, I'm gasping for air, even with the oxygen. So I have alot of pillows and I just put them in a confortable position. That helps a bit.
I don't know what to do. I'm really trying to hang in there. I'm slipping. This information has me going into a spiral. A real melt down! Add all of this to my already melt down! I never knew one could have so many tears to cry. And then of course my 'real' life, Don't want to go there right now. And here I thought I could count on _____! I guess not. I should just try and go to be. Hopfully I can sleep.
And please keep me in your prayers. Thank you.


Lisa


 



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13 comments:

lisa41076 said...

Awwwwwwww hon, sending up prayers for you, Love and Hugs Lisa

dca721 said...

Hi Lisa,
I am sorry you are not feeling well.
I will pray for you.
Love Donna

sybiljb said...

Hi Lisa, I hope you can get a good night sleep. I know it is hard when you are in so much pain. I will remember you in my prayer.

katerh99 said...

Lisa, Have you been to, or considered, going to The Cleveland Clinic? There has to be some really bad communication going on with your caregivers: that includes the Doctors especially. While the rest of us are feeling quite hepless, being so far away, we can and are praying for you!

imgr8phil said...

I feel so bad for you.  I hope tomorrow will be better but I completely understand how you are feeling.  Take care and hope you will have a better day on Saturday.

Phil

specialadyfink said...

When you lie down.try to elevate your feet above your heart level/It may help aleviate the swelling.
Wish you a good day and a better tomorrow.
Many hugs
~c~

siennastarr said...

h

pamal3 said...

I will keep you In my prayers Lisa. i hope this pain subsides for you. Love Pam xx

zoepaul6968 said...

Oh my friend,on our journey and our talks we have shared alot,I know I am newer to you than alot of others,but you have taught me dignity and fight,a fight most people wouldnt have undertaken,to that I admire you,it is something that makes me angry to see someone work so very hard,to fall and have to work even harder to rise,it may not sound like real help,god knows if I were there I would do anything to swap places a while to give you what you need,but you are in my prayers every day,especially for the pain and swelling to subside.Keep us all in your thoughts,we are together in battle and united in love,bless you zoe xxx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/zoepaul6968/domestic-chaos/

elmofromoz said...

(((((((((((((((((Lisa)))))))))))))))))))) Your always in my thoughts. Check you remail I sent you some stuff.

sugarsweet056 said...

It IS worth it sweetie!!! And I always have you in my thoughts & prayers. I love you dear Lisa, my online friend. {{}}
Sugar

gehi6 said...

I would be scared, too, but your soul is strong and you are able to look at yourself clearly and what is more you are doing a great job of bearing witness to what a person suffers with this conditiion.  That is really brave of you to do, in fact heroic.  I can't think of another person except some of these j-land journalists who could write so well about a worsening state of health that seems to have long since passed the critical stage. All I can think to say is I am reading and my heart goes out to you.  Gerry

ajquinn354 said...

Lisa you are always in my thoughts and prayers as you by are all the other journal readers to read your site and words dear.  I wish there was something all of us could do to make your feel better. The crying doesn't help dear,will only get you down more.....strive to make each day the best you can, when you get so down, believe it makes one feel worse and you don't need that, you're a fighter dear, keep fighting. Bless you. Arlene (AJ)