Tuesday, August 23, 2005


I honestly wish that my husband would understand me! I'm so upset and just fed up with his ignorance! I'm so tired of the way he has treated me since I've found out that I've had this disease! He is MY stresser in this house! I just have to get it out! He knows when I'm in pain and seems to get meaner and meaner to me the more pain I get in! It hurts mentally and physically! Last night was the final straw! I'm tired of him slamming doors when he doesn't get his way. And so tired of him talking to me like I have no brain, and treated me so dissrespectful! Then he gets mad when I am in a lot of pain, and seems to take it out on me and everyone else in the house! He asked me last night if there was anything that he could do to help me he would. So, I said that if he wouldn't drink so much, that would help me out tremendouly! Just over a year ago he started drinking heavily and It's not my fault. Well, that really made him mad! Drinking never used to change him. He had times where he would start, and then when to stop...not now. I have no one that I can depend on if anything ever happens to me in the evening because he's drunk! It was a blessing that my friends were here when I had that horrible reaction that night. I would have been out side the whole night, or where ever I would have been in the house because he couldn't have been woken up to help me! My nereves are so shot! And now he's playing the "ignore Lisa" game right now. How mature! I feel that he is being very selfish on his part. It's not like he doesn't know anything about fibromaylgia! He does and he knows how to give me a muscle massage if nessecary, but won't. His loss, not mine. I just had to get this off my chest. I will not play childish games anymore! He needs help. He plays a part were he tries to make me feel guilty for anything he can think up, but it doesn't work, then he turns it around to where he "thinks" I'm making him feel guilty! gggrrr! No more playing games! I have to think of my health. I love on my grandbaby, and my children. That is the best healing in the world! :o)

No comments: