Thursday, August 11, 2005

SSDD

Yesterday was just another day with the same stuff different day. I'm still in an extreme amount of pain. Too much on my mind doesn't help matters either. When I lay down to rest or to go to bed at night, all of it just runs so fast around in my head, and I can't sleep. I was very lucky yesterday to have both of my friends over. We talked for hours. I was able to get my stuff off of my mind to them, and they both understood how I feel and why. They don't understand why the stresser and the email I had recieved are actually thinking the way they are either. They wanted to know if these people actually realize how much pain I'm in, and how much more pain they are putting me in more by being this way? I said probably not, or they don't care. One or the other. I haven't felt good all week. I know it's my nerves that is making me this way. Too bad the ones that you think would notice it, don't. Or the ones that you thought cared, don't. I'm just very grateful for the friends that I have, because they also see the things the same as I am, so I don't feel like it's all in my head now. My one friend has noticed one of my stressers just happen like I thought I seen it happen, like a night and day switch towards me. Plus they've known about my other stresser for months now. I've been taking my pain pills that I only take when I absolutly have too. And they aren't working. :o( I'm going to call my doctor to see what I should do. I hope he doesn't want me to go to the hospital like he told me once before. :o( I really don't like the way the one stresser has made me feel. I'm very hurt. Which turns into more pain. Too bad that they seem to be more worried about someone else then me. I love my family do death. And in my eyes, they come first no matter what. In my opinion, thats the way it's suppose to be. If one of my kids are hurting for any reason, I'm on top of it, and put all of my pain aside for them. Thats me though. I don't have anything planned for today. There isn't anything I can do right now. Too bad. My pain level is a soft 10 right now, and has been all week. It will pass. :o) I want to thank my daughter for her sweet comment. :o) God bless you all, and very gentle hugs to you. :o)

3 comments:

llittleloft02 said...

i hope i am not the stresser lisa , i would hope you could talk to me .... that would hurt me if i am your stresser ...

kelley

seraphoflove9001 said...

Kelley,
No, you're not at all. :o)
Love Lisa

missboogerhead said...

I am sorry.  It would be nice if those around us would understand the impact of their actions and words, but it is simply just too hard for some people.
I understand about the pain meds... I have been taking my "real" pain meds for about a month since this flare up started.  We are currently trying to figure out these other crazy symptoms that are springing up.  I may have possibly developed an allergy to one of my meds.
Hope things begin to look up for you soon!
~Miss O