.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal's entry is toward anyone in specific, I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess, and in hopes it might help someone else as I do.I do not pretend nor imatate to be someone I'm not. And if you might take an entry wrong and feel that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life. And if there is something in what I write that "offends" you, options; don't read, or realize that this IS real life, and get out of your plastic bubble and learn more about it! God bless you!......
Good morning!
I have so much on my mind and so much I want to talk about and so much I 'need' to talk about. I just don't know where to begin.
Firstly, I do want to thank each and everyone of you for all of your support and such kind words! Thank you! And those words of support are what are keeping me going, one day at a time!
I'll start with yesterday....the nurse came to ask me questions, put my meds. in a box that will remind me when to take them because I've been forgetting. The box hasn't arrived yet, so she couldn't do that. She took my vitals and asked me questions.
The day before ( Monday ) my Home Health Aide was here. I had told her about the nurse coming the next day and what she was going to do. I have a very long list of things that she is suppose to do for me. Which she did in the begining and has recently just stopped doing for me. She will come in the house, clock in by using the phone then sit down and start talking to me about other clients and her family and just things that I'd prefer not to hear! Then, that takes up about an hour and then she would put my laudry in to wash and do my dishes. Sometimes she'll sweep the kitchen floor and she'd stopped vacuuming and dusting my areas! Which is what she's here for! She also had stopped doing my bed for me and taking care of my feet. The nurse seen the condition my feet and ankles were in yesterday and told me that they really needed to be put up on a pillow and also rubbed....which is what the Aide is suppose to do for me. The nurse wasn't very happy at all the way my feet and ankles looked! My right one more so, it's the worse one. So, when I had told my Home Health Aide about the nurse coming, she started telling me what to say if "this" question was asked or if "this" question was asked! While she was sitting next to me on my walker telling me these things, I started getting those chest pains again! I grabbed my chest and started to make a noise because of the pain, and she did nothing to help and it didn't even slow her down from talking! She was more worried about herself than she was for me! She was actually telling me the things that she's suppose to do for me and what to tell the nurse....so that right there told me that she knew what she's suppose to do to help me!!! It was upsetting me more and more! That night, I couldn't sleep! She had had me in such a state that really had me so upset, everything she was telling me just kept going through my head! I was up the whole night! I do not lie...and I was certainly not going to do what she wanted me to do for her! My daughter was here resting on the couch when the nurse came. I wasn't feeling good at all....meaning the fibro and ms. When the nurse seen the list of things the Aide was suppose to do for me and how many times a week, she asked me if she did them. I spilled my guts!!! I was not about to lie and say that she did, because it is/was very obviouse that she didn't....especially by looking at the condition my feet and ankles are in! My daughter was even able to tell the nurse a few things as well, that she had wittnessed!
The nurse called in to the company that they both work for and now I'm going to get a new Aide. The old Aide would tell me just to have my husband do it for me! Now, he does do all that he can for me because of the hours that he works, he isn't able to do what her job was suppose to do! The nerve of her!
I'll have two nurses coming each week as well. I'm very happy about that. 
Today, I was suppose to go to the Adult Day Care, but I still haven't recieved the papers yet for me to sign.
I'm still fighting my body. I honestly don't know how to describe it. Sort of like 'a mind over matter' thing. When my mind tells my body to do something...it's not! So then I will do that, mind over matter. It's not working anymore. The thing thats going on with my legs has seemed to just happen too fast! I'm praying that it will go away in time, but I don't really know what's going on. Next Tuesday is my appointment to see the MS specialist and I can't wait! I need answers to my questions about what and why my body is doing what it is! I'm still using my wheelchair! Why? Because right now, I have no choice! Whats going on?! Do I grieve this loss of my legs yet, or do I just wait it out and they will come back to where they were?!
I still have to go and get a dress to wear at my daughter's wedding! I just haven't been able to go anywhere yet. That upsets me too. I will be there! I'm also doing my best to be there for her when she needs help with my grandson because she's really been having a hard time with this pregnacy. God bless her! My husband just called me from work just to check on me! :o) He wanted to know if I got any sleep last night! Bless him! :o) And..just got another call from the Adult Day Care Center and someone will be here at 1:00 for me to fill out papers. Cool! :o)
I guess I really needed to talk and let a fews things out!
I'm also still having a private battle with my eating disorder. I did let the nurse know about it. I know when someone see's an over weight person, they wouldn't suspect it. I'm over weight because of medicines. Not eating. That I can control....meaning how much I eat and what I eat if I want to. I have such a loving family...they do watch close. Bummer. I was 15 years old when it started. I'm working on it.
If you've read this far.....thank you! I'm alone and have no one to talk to. So I use this journal. Sorry about that. :o)
I really should stop....and am sorry it's lengthy. But it helps me. And to know that I have support from all of you! Now that really helps me! :o)
Again....thank you for your comments and much needed support! Gods blessings to all of you! :o)
25 comments:
h
how could she not have been worried about ???????? how terrible
Did she not read your entry?!?! Have a beautiful day, thats it!!! Why even stop by to write that if you are not going to READ what my mom has to say?!
Anywho mom, I read it and I am so happy for you that you got all of that out to the nurse. I am glad I was there to help you out with some questions. I also cant wait until you see the MS specialist finally. That will help you out, or I hope it does. You will get your dress in time. I will make sure you get a good one. Don't worry. Heck, the groom doesnt even have his outfit yet. haha. Love you mom and take care and "have a beautiful day!"
You WILL be at that wedding! :) When is this, did I miss the news? How exciting! And, yes, good you said what is really going on, and that you'll get a new home health aide. If one is coming in supposed to do all of this then s/he should do all of this. Less stress on your family, more help, etc., this is needed or it wouldn't be scheduled for you, yanno. Your descriptions also let me know that that is what my father really needs, more than a nurse, so thank you for spilling!
Never put up with that again!!! If an aide or a nurse does not do what they are supposed to do, don't wait...report it!!! That's terrible & if she's doing that to you, just think how she's treating others...some that can't talk. So, always speak up!
I use a little med box too, I fill it myself once a week...it really helps, since I take so many pills. You'll enjoy that. :)
Will be glad when you see the MS specialist...have a list ready to ask.
I use the w/c from time to time to...I hate it, cause I can't manage as well as when I'm walking. If people only knew!
Nice that you have such a supportive family!
Can you order a dress on line, or from a catalogue?
Have a good day, my prayers are with you.
Huggies,
Sugar
First of all, you should NEVER apologize for what you write in YOUR journal. In fact, I would soooo love to see you take that disclaimer off that all of your entries start with. It about breaks my heart when I see it, although I understand why you feel you need to have it there.
WE ALL LOVE YOU AND ARE WITH YOU EVERY STEP OF THE WAY!
And that damn home health worker needs a punch in the nose. ;o) I hope they were smart enough to fire her and not just relocate her like the catholics did with the priests. (after 12 years of catholic school, I can say anything about catholics I want! How's that for a disclaimer?)
LOVE YOU!
MJ
Lisa, I am glad you are getting a new aide and you will have two new nurses coming by, I know you will be at your daughter's wedding looking beautiful, Hugs to you Lisa
I know that I haven't commented in a long, long time but what you just described is outrageous. How disrespectful and thoughtless. I was a CNA for ten years and never even sat down unless asked and then turned it down unless they just insisted. I FOUND things to do and stay busy. She needs to go and I hope you get a new sweet one very fast. I started a new private journal and I'd like you to come over when you feel well enough to read and if you have time. I care about you very much.
Nelishia
http://journals.aol.com/nelishianatl/PrayingandBelieving/
I am so very happy for you that you were able to inform the nurse on your home help/carer nurse. How dare she prime you with answers!!
I so hope they have sacked her. This woman is dangerous! Suppose another person she looks after was well and truly bedridden? Then what? Does she just sit there and talk the ears of that poor soul and do nothing for her/him too? She is just as bad as a thief. She is taking money and not giving the services she is being paid for.
Anyway, this is your journal and you can write what you want to. If it fills a space in your life and helps you to vent about something or air your worries for the rest of your readers to share then that's a good thing. Problems or worried share are always halved. I'm sure you will get a beautiful dress in good time for your daughter's wedding. I look forward to seeing pictures of you all dressed up.
Praying for your good health and answers to your many questions soon.
Take care
hugs
Jeanie xx
SO SORRY YOU HAVE HAD TO GO TO THESE LENTGHS JUST TO GET THE HELP YOU NEED ....WITH LOVE Jan xx
((((((((((((((LISA)))))))))))))))))))))I am so sorry you had a bad nurse,I hope and pray you get 2 good ones.Have a good day.
They should fire that aide! Why doesn't anyone want to do their job anymore? It just pisses me off! We have aides like that in the hospital, too!
I'm glad you are getting another one, and will be able to go to Adult Day Care. I hope that makes it easier on you. Do they pick you up each day? Or does DH have to take you? Will you go 5 days/week?
I like it when you write about yourself. Jokes are fun to read, but I like the personal entries much better. So feel free to write all you want. I'll read it! And I'll be here to offer you support.
Hugs...Pam
Hi ya Lisa: Well I am so glad you told your nurse about the Home Health Aid, you are supposed to receive a certain level of care and if she is doing that to you she would do it to some other person who may not be able to communicate the issues. I hope they monitor her closely. If she does not like what she is doing she should get another job. I am happy too that your family is being supportive. Maybe when you start going to the day care program, it will give you a chance to interact with others. I sure hope the MS Dr. can give you some insight into what is going on with you. I for one am interested in how you are doing and if you need to vent, just go ahead and vent. Take care my friend and keep us informed. Hugs to you jean
I think it is time to find another aid. I also think that it is great that you will be able to fill out the papers today! We are here for you.
Kelli
http://journals.aol.com/kamdghwmw/noonmom
Lisa, you can talk to all of us who read your journal for how ever long you need to get your thoughts, concerns out of your system. Know we all wish there was something we could do for you, has to be a really concern time for you. Glad you are getting a new Aide to help you, glad you spoke up and told the nurse what the Aide wasn't doing for you. Glad your family is supportive of you and check in to see if you are ok and help out with whatever you need them to do for you. The Adult Day Care will be of comfort for you, you'll meet others, won't have to be alone on the days you go. Take care. Arlene (AJ)
God Bless you Lisa, we are here to listen, you can vent anytime you want to, isn't that great. I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope it gets cleared up soon for you. Joni
Things aren't going well, Lisa, but at least people start to care - something that should have started long ago. No Matter. Please continue to sound off on here, and I hope you will soon have the care you need and deserve.
that aide needs her damn job taken from her. I was in health care for many yrs and the way she did you was CRIMINAL....she makes me sick.
I hope you felt better today.
Love,lisa
(((((((((Lisa)))))))))) I hope and I pray for better days for you.
Love,
Cindy xoxo
I agree with Lisa Jo - this aide needs to go. That's no aide at all not to mention that she violated Federal law by telling you about other clients. That means she tells others about you. That needs to be stopped.
Keep writing and keeping it real. You are an encouragement to countless others that you may never be aware of. Don't know how anyone could possibly think you were referring to them or otherwise take your entries personally. They are definitely missing the point.
Dirk
http://journals.aol.com/tsalagiman1/the-first-amendment-not-politi/
Oh talk as long as you want to, there are many glad to listen if it helps relieve you. I am just hoping you can get better help who will relieve some of what is going on, especially the feet and legs part. I will be thinking of you. I came right over here after reading a reminder from Guido to come and lend support. Gerry
First off, I am happy to hear that Aide is gone ~ no good having an aide if all they do is upset you. Type as long and as lengthy as you need to, you know everyone here cares & wants the best for you. Thoughts & Prayers to you.
Lisa
http://journals.aol.com/wwfbison/life-on-a-bison-farm
Lisa I'm glad you got the info on the aide out... she was doing you absolutely no good. Good things will come now I feel it.
hugs
d
h
I'm glad you're getting a new aide. The nerve of her! I hate when health care workers come in and don't work like they should. Don't apologize for writing lenghy entries. You may need to come back to an entry as far as your health care goes. Praying for you always.........
Hugs,
D
http://journals.aol.com/heavenlybama/journey-to-success
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