Thursday, May 4, 2006
Ok....I talked to my family last night about my future and my current situation. As soon as I can, I will be getting a will made up and a living will as well. My physical therapist was just here, and I told her and showed her the copies of my results and she feels it would be a good idea as well. She said that she's sorry, and that she hopes that I will be well taken care of. She was showing me what I could possible do to help me. As in to change my bedroom in this room and to make my bedroom into a bathroom for me. Which in fact that is what my husband said last night as well. I agree that it would help out a lot and I could possible be able to stay here and not have to move out and be alone. Right now...I feel as though the fibromaylgia and the ms is in the same catagory as my seizure disorder....low. I'm more concerned about my spine and my heart. Yes...my pain level is still high, but I've seemed to adapt to it. Praying helps! :o) It gets me through my days and my tough times. Now....trying to keep the stress down is another story.....with living in this neighborhood....my stress is very high right now! There's so many things that I'll never understand...and I hope someday I will be able to. The way I see it...I don't have the heart or the thoughts that others do that do the horrid things that they do. For the people that do know me....know that I'm me and I'm not of any kind of threat, not an evil spirited person I don't go out of my way to be mean and hurt someone on purpose, and I just stay to myself. I'm sort of still shy...I have been all my life. My friends and family know this. I write in this journal to try to help others in what I write or I write whats on my mind to ease the stress. Thats it. My friends and family also know that I'm not a money lover, or what ever I was called, and I am not a poor poor me person as well. Or what ever I was called. For almost a year now...I've been trying to get donations to help with my medical needs. And thats all. I don't see how that makes me a bad person. If you do, please tell me. And what's wrong with trying to get help when you don't have it on your own? And to also tell another person that you don't have money because you smoke is so wrong..especially when so did they and drank as well. My husband does drink, he buys it, not me. We have both cut way down on smoking. I have patches and a medication to help me stop. So far, it's not working because of stress that seems to appear out of know where. I don't toot my own horn, or what ever was said. All I did was just talk in my journal. I didn't even write about all that my husband and I donate to. Doanting books to our library is great....that gives others the chance to learn as well. Thats a great gift. And how is that unwanted? And if you had sold a car to someone, and knew that they were going to pay it off the very next day, and had been making the payments for about 5-6 months, would you take it away from them? Do you think that if you did you could sleep at night? And feel it was right to do? So...this person had been making their car payments for them basically...and still didn't get anything back! Is that being nice? Is that being a good Christian? This is just some of the things that I know about and have to deal with in my neighborhood and my family and friends! My neighborhood isn't very nice. And it's sad. Like I do...Always Say A Paryer! God bless all of you! And...Dear God, Please forgive them for they know not what they've done. Amen.