My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He
asked me how old I was, and I told him, '62.' He was quiet for a moment,
and then he asked, 'Did you start at 1?
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood
was like: 'We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a
tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked
wild raspberries in the woods.' The little girl was wide-eyed, taking
this all in. At last she said, 'I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!'
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, 'Grandma, do you know how
you and God are alike?' I mentally polished my halo while I asked, 'No, how are we alike?' 'You're both old,' he replied.
I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it
was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I
continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, 'Grandma, I
think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!'
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, 'I'm not
sure.' 'Look in your underwear, Grandpa,' he advised. 'mine says I'm
four to six.'
'Grandma, Guess what? We learned how to make babies today.' The
grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
'That's interesting,' she said, 'how do you make babies?' 'It's simple,'
replied the girl. 'You just change 'y' to 'I and add 'es'.'
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home
one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the
truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's
duties. 'They use him to keep crowds back,' said one child.
'No,' said another, 'he's just for good luck.'
A third child brought the argument to a close. 'They use the dogs,' she
said firmly, 'to find the fire hydrants...