Thursday, November 8, 2007

I'm emotionaly numb and an emotional reck!

As most of you know, I havent been able to go and visit all of your journals. The reason being is because of my health. I just can't seem to keep up anymore, even though how much I try. I'm at least two weeks behind. What I've done is delete most of them to start over.
What I discovered last night....has hurt me so badly, and I didn't know! You're not going to understand this except for one person in my life.

I wasn't paying attention and had accidently deleted something very special to me! I wasn't told this until last night. Had I known! I'm so very sorry that I didn't know! I had no idea that I deleted it!
After I found out the news, I just sobbed! With two different feelings. One, that I had no idea and didn't even know this...and the other were happiness for her. I guess thats what I get for not paying attention hard enough to the journal entry's that I deleted. I'm so sorry.

Please forgive me. I didn't know. I'm so glad and very happy that she's safe!
All that I can do is go forward from here. Thats all I can do. I would like to be able to move on in this situation and please know that I'm still here.

I am having a very hard time keeping up with your journals. I'm sorry. I haven't been doing very good lately. Not an excuse, just the facts and being honest. I also apoligize! I hope that what is and has been going on with me and my health, is just something that will go away in time.

I have two video's from Tuesday that I took of my son and the dog. We were having snow flurries and my son came in and wanted me to see how Madia looked all speckeled! So I did my best to capture it, but it was in the mid 30's and the winds were high. My son stood in the doorway of the garage, and I was just up on the deck with just a night gown on! Whoooo!
The other video is pretty dark. I was coming in the house and came into my room and I have it dark in here because light hurts my eyes. And yes....I hate my voice! lol Now you see how I got the name as 'mouse' when I was in high school! Just think, I'm older now! :o) So it's deeper!

I was also thinking of taking a break for awhile. I have something very important in my life right now. And I don't won't to screw it up. Plus my medical condition isn't that best right now either. Please just bare with me and I do hope you understand.

Thank you all for your comments! And, thank all of you who have signed my guest book! Thank you! It's just on my side bar! :o) Gods blessings to all of you!



dca721 said...

I hope things get better for you.
I have a hard time keeping up on the few journals that I read.
I wouldn't worry about it, your friends understand.
Take care.

my78novata said...

OH I wish we had flurries. I LOVE seeing MEDIA I just love videos of your fur baby. Though If you need to take a break then do it you have to think of you and your health first

pharmolo said...

Hope you manage to regain some emotional strength soon, Lisa. Have a good day :-)

mztishgray0726 said...


sugarsweet056 said...

Didn't you say a few posts back that you were going private?
I hope you get to feeling better.
Just do what you can, don't try to do it all.

specialadyfink said...

I agree about the moods why can't we just put in there with our own text;
mad as hell & ain't taking it anymore
tired as hell
bored as hell
don't give a crap
tired of same ole shit
do ya giva crap
don't giva crap
what the hell do you think
oh I could go on....

I like your voice- can we call you house mouse?
Take care of yourself
I gotta get off of here and flea bath my dog
even though I see no fleas she constantly digs and bites...

lanurseprn said...

I hope you're ok. I always enjoy your videos. I really gotta learn how to add video to my journal. I'll miss you if you take a break. But, I understand.
Take care of yourself sweetie, and come around and visit my journal when you can. It'll be there.

astoriasand said...

I am sorry you are having such a bad time Lisa.You take a break if you need to.Best wishes and I will watch out and keep you on alerts for a while,see if you do anymore postings.Look after yourself.Take Care God Bless Kath

lisa41076 said...

Awwwwww Lisa, sorry you are having such a hard time lately, praying for you, I will miss you if you take a break but I would understand, Love You Lisa XO

cuteallison1980 said...

Don't be so hard on yourself Lisa.  You are doing your best.  Don't give yourself that added stress.  Just take care of yourself the best you can and I think anyone that cares about you understands what you are going through. Hope today will be a good one for you.  Luv ya!


ajquinn354 said...

Lisa do what you hve to get you back into a stress free lilving, if it's a break you need, we all understand and will look for your return.  Know your health problems are a real contributor to how you feel most days and that you do the best you can under the circumstances.  I believe you need to stop feeling so guilty if you can't get to the other journals or in the case of the one you deleted, people understnad dear.  Stop being so hard on yourself all it does is cause you to have more stress which isn't good for your health situations, I believe it can make you feel worse. Just allow yourself to enjoy each moment, stop worrying about you can't change or what's gone on. Put yourself first for a change.  Bless you dear...Arlene (AJ)

ceilisundancer said...

Snow?!  Already?

You do what you need to.  I hope tyhat person understands.  I don't expect people to come and read my journal all the time.  It's there if someone has the time and interest, otherwise, that's alright.  It's more for me.  Hope today is better.  

kamdghwmw said...

I have done some bone head things before. You are not alone there!

hugsdoodlewacky said...

((((((((((((LISA))))))))))))))))))))))you need to do what you have to do for your health,dont worry about going to other jorunals.We know your here and know you care.Have a nice weekend.

gehi6 said...

I watched the videos so felt like I was in Ohio for a few moments visiting you.  I got my hair cut today in preparation for making my Christmas home video reading children's poetry for my grandkids.  I will send you one for Xmas!  I don't think you should strain yourself now to visit journals when you are not up to it.  If we need to tell you something we can come to your journal and tell you. Gerry

heavenlybama said...

Many hugs to you Lisa.  I understand if you have to take a break.  We all need one sometimes.

dca721 said...

If you need a break take it.
I read maybe 5 or 6 journals and I can't even keep up with them.
Not sure really what you are talking about what ever you deleted.
But, anyone who is your true friend will understand, if they don't they're not worth it.
Put yourself first and take care of you, if you don't NO one else will.
That's good advice...maybe I should take it
My friend stopped by tonight and we've had a few drinks....but, no driving, I am going to bed!
Love you,