Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Sorry.....about anything......

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal's entry is toward anyone in specific, I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess, and in hopes it might help someone else as I do.I do not pretend nor imatate to be someone I'm not.I have to be careful, apparently someone are way too obsessed with 'my' life. And if you might take an entry wrong and feel that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life. And if there is something in what I write that "offends" you, options; don't read, or realize that this IS real life, and get out of your plastic bubble and learn more about it! I also know that what I write in MY journal, that NOT everyone will agree with me and I don't expect them to! God bless you!......


 



I really don't know what to say. I will answer some questions; No, I'm not on any blood thiners and never have been. Yes, I have been trying to get another doctor, but they are not taking any new patients right now. I've even called the ones that my nurse gave me that will come to your house. So I'm stuck with the stupid doctor that I do not like. I have no other choices. Yes, the bottom part of my left leg does hurt. Yes, my right arm is still in pain. No, the heat isn't doing anything to help. Believe me, I've been trying everything known under the sun. I'm told to rest....I'm told to walk....I'm told to NOT walk....I'm told to NOT be in bed resting!

My doctor told me that "He can't do anything else for me, since I just had an appointment!" And no...unless I'm bleeding out of my eyes, the ER won't do anything about this.
I'm so confused now, more then ever! I do have one good thing that has happened......the back of my left arm has feeling in it once again!
No one hears me. No one "see's" what I'm asking for help....because "I look good!" If you only knew how tired I am of hearing that!!!!!! If I had a penny for each time someone has said that too me...I'd be filthy rich!
It feels like I'm at the very begining again. Before I was diagnoses with the Fibromyalgia! My nerves our shot, my patience level is NIL! And the pain is driving me nuts! No, I do not have any pain pills.

The only pills that I have are the ones that are for my fibro, and one for my MS. Thats all. Oh, and one for my seizures! Can't forget that!
I was on the computer yesterday, looking up thromboplebts and phlebitis. Oh gee, everything I read wasn't a pretty site. They all said the samethings. I'm just so tired!
Today, I feel like I'm actually going crazy! huh...how about that! I wouldn't know why! I have all of the blinds closed and the lights off! I don't want to see or hear anything or anyone. What I have planned is to just get back in my stupid bed and pull the covers over my head and hope that maybe I'll wake up. I'm tired right now, later.



23 comments:

specialadyfink said...

Geeez-don't let people bring you down like that...-it has to be frustrating.I have pain and I know to look at me people can't 'see' the pain so they do not realize what you go through.
But ignore those that disbelieve and some may just be trying to be helpful and are at a loss as to what to say that may be of help.....keep your faith..
*HUGS*
~c~

astoriasand said...

The way you describe the blinds shut and the light offdon't want to see or hear anything rings loud bells with me Lisa from my past history of depression.and I eneded up having to go for a stay in hospital..I hope you feel better soon and I should let your doc know you felt like this too.Prayers being said for you.I never want that to return.I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.Take Care God Bless Kath
astoriasand http://journals.aol.co.uk/astoriasand/MYSIMPLERHYMES

wwfbison said...

So sorry to hear you are feeling so poorly - and so frustrated to boot.  I wish there was something I could do for you.  I hope this passes for you.
Lisa

arlenes627 said...

so sorry sweetie. anxiety is a horrible thing.  hopefully if you were in danger they'd take you in the E.R.? and does the nurse know what she's talking about and do you trust her? And even if you don't like your doc, does he know what he's doing? Because if he is being negligent, that is another story.

my78novata said...

I think you need something for depressoin. if your depressed you cant heal. you need a new dr but I KNOW drs do not care now days

hugsdoodlewacky said...

((((((((((((((((((LISA))))))))))))))))))))I aggreee with the other.I have been in so much pain and it makes me so depressed.I do hope you get some help from all of this.Praying for you.Have a nice evening.

pharmolo said...

I'm sorry this is driving you down, Lisa. I hope your grandson will come round today to divert your attention :-)

ajquinn354 said...

Lisa I can feel your emotinal pain in your words....so sorry you aren't getting the right help from your doctors.  None of us what you are going through, since it's not us having your problems, but my heart aches for you. If your doctor can't do anything for you since you just had an appointment, could he recommend a Cardiologist or make an appt. for you to have this clotting checked out, so they could get you on a a blood thinner pill.   Bless you.  Arlene (AJ)

imgr8phil said...

I feel badly for you.  I know you feel helpless at the moment.  Just keep the faith and things are bound to get better than they are right now.  Take care.

Phil

pleezeno1 said...

I am new to your journal and I was hoping to find some new information or help with fhybromialgia as my father was just diagnoised. But instead I find someone who needs more than that, some psychological help. I find it odd and even strange that there isn't a specialist or even a general doctor in your area (meaning surrounding) that can help you with your needs. Something as little as a pain reliever? You have blood clots and no ones seems to address them - Why? Do you really have them?  I noticed in your last video an ashtray of cigarettes (would they be yours? This might be your reason for your need of oxegen!) I was hoping that someone out there could help me( please) with some of the answers I have, instead I find too many of those that need sympathy instead. I wish you well. Keighla

cuteallison1980 said...

My heart goes out to you Lisa.  I wish I had the power to make things good for you.  Just stay strong and keep doing whatever it takes to get yourself the care that you deserve.  Luv ya!

Allison

emabecmar said...

Your in my prayers. ((((hugs))))
Love,
Cindy

nightmaremom said...

awww hon I'm sorry..... I wish I could do something
hugs
d

akapussnboots said...

wow (pleezeno1) that seems kind of harsh coming from someone that is new to the journal and dont know everything about her dont you think!    I do live in her area and I can say no there isnt anything around here, and to tell you a little about our ER, I have a friend whose husband is very sick and waiting a liver transplant, he gets dehydrated easily and he went to our ER they took one look at his arms full of pin holes(from all the iv's) and told him they could not help him cause he looked like a junkie. Does this sound like a place where you can get proper care? He went to an ER about 2 hours from here where his Dr. is and he was admited because he was in real bad shape. Know the facts before you judge!

seraphoflove9001 said...

This is to Pleezeno1...
In my opinion, you have no right to say those nasty things to me at all! Do you live where I do? Do you understand what I go through every day? Did you even look in my archives? Are you always in a great mood? Everyone has their ups and downs! And yes I do have information in my journal! Obviously YOU didn't look did you?! But all you had to say was all negative! And assuming something does not make what you assumed thr truth now does it?! What if I was at someone else house? Did you think of that when you saw the ashtray?! Do NOT jump on ME because you are the one that didn't look in my archives for information! Are you a psychiatrist? I highly doubt it! You have no right to speak to me the way you did if you are new to this journal! Why didn't you go to a search engine? How do you think I find out MY information? How did you think that YOU were going to find information on fibromyalgia by watching my video? You seem to be the one that needs help! Do you have everything that you need right at the tip of your fingers? My hospital's ER do not help people like this. They don't even help if you have a broken bone. Did you know that? How dare YOU for writing the things you did without FULL knowledge of where I live! If you don't live here, then you have no right at all to write what you did! Get a Clue! Again, if YOU do NOT live here, then YOU do NOT know anything! Got it!

seraphoflove9001 said...

cont....And you actually write this: instead I find too many of those that need sympathy instead. How very ignorant of you! And you said that your father was just diagnosed? Well then, does that mean he might need some sympathy as well? If you're going to trash me in my comments, then I expect for you to get all of your facts together! You've read that I have oxygen. So why not go further back? Your doing nothing but showing how ignorant YOU are about others with illnesses! I feel sorry for you and your dad, if YOU are his care taker! You ARE goinng to find people that have fibromyalgia that are really in a lot of pain! Again, since YOU do NOT live here, then YOU do NOT know what it's like now do you?! You have put down so many people in what you've wrote! You just showed your inteligance as well! It's NIL! Nothing there!

lisa41076 said...

Lisa, I am sending you huge hugs (((((((((((( Lisa )))))))))))))))) and as far as ( Pleezeno1) goes you should get to know the person inside  before you make judgements about them, Lisa is a wonderful person  and a true friend with a huge heart and it's too bad you will never get to know that, Love You Lisa XO

kamdghwmw said...

Here is a big hug and a pat on the back. Just hang in there and I know that you will be fine. You are a strong women.
Kelli
http://journals.aol.com/kamdghwmw/noonmom

springangel235 said...

I have so much support for you Lisa...and I am wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving...I wish you the best day!!!
Hugs and love,
Joyce

sweetestsin52605 said...

Geez Mom!
That is so ridiculous!!!
It wouldn't hurt to go to the ER maybe.

I love you so much!
Please don't leave me.

helmswondermom said...

h

ma24179 said...

Lisa I know you are feeling miserable right now, I am so sorry that you are..I know the feeling of being helpless..not being able to fix it, your own body. I am not physicallly ill, but emotionally I am torn apart. I am in constant turmoil..no way to escape this self created misery.. You just have to try and do something to take your mind off of it..I don't know what else sweety to tell you. Is there a project you can work on?? Can you crouchet, paint, write...something that will keep you from concentrating so much on what's going on. I know taking your mind off of it will not fix it, but if there is no fix...then don't drive yourself crazy. I'm here to talk anytime you need it..Happy Thanksgiving

jmoqueen said...

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))) to you lisa, I wish there was something I could do for you xx

Jenny

http://journals.aol.co.uk/Jmoqueen/MyLife