Friday, March 28, 2008


.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal's entry is toward anyone in specific, I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess, and in hopes it might help someone else as I do.I do not pretend nor imatate to be someone I'm not. And if you might take an entry wrong and feel that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life. And if there is something in what I write that "offends" you, options; don't read, or realize that this IS real life, and learn more about it! I also know that what I write in MY journal, that NOT everyone will agree with me and I don't expect them to! God bless you!......



Thank God it's Friday! I'm so glad this week is over.
I had a lot of tests to go take this week. I cancelled them all and re-scheduled them. I needed a break and I just wanted to be alone. Alone to think.
The only test I did was the sleep test. All I had to do was to show up at 7:30 pm. and they put the electrodes on your head and body then get in bed and go to sleep. If you can. What woke me up was my right knee cap. I woke up screaming because of the pain and the man came running in my room to see if I was alright. I just let him know that it was my fibromyalgia acting up, nothing serious. I think it was around 4:00 am. when I was able to come home.

And yes...those video's really cheered me up. I checked my mail, posted the videos and washed my hair. Ick! That wicked goopy stuff they have to use, was all over. Then I went to my bed to rest.

I think I found a doctor. One that will come to my home. It has taken me along time to find one. For me to keep having my nurse and physical therapist, I had to have a doctor, and not a nurse pratitioner. But use her until I find one. They took my information and will give me back a call. And yes they are taking new patients and my insurance. Thats the best news I've heard in awhile.
I also had to listen to a man that came to my home to let me know if I could keep my physical therapy. I have NEVER felt SOOO belittled in my own home!!! He is a PT as well and is over the one I have. HE'S the one that "decides" if I still need one!!! I'm sorry but I had no idea that this person had the same exact things and pains that I DO!!! I DO NOT like the idea of ANYONE having or even thinking of having this much control over MY LIFE!!! I don't think so! And yes, I did let this man know how I felt! Then I had to go rest and I really needed the oxygen then! Then I called him and let him know even more on how I felt! NO ONE in this whole world has a right to tell ANYONE how they feel! And I told him this! I WILL NOT let this happen to me!

After I talked to him, then I called my physical therapist to let him know how I felt and what I told that "stupid" guy.
Then I get a call on the same day that I'm going to be getting a new nurse! aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! I just couldn't believe this day I was having! This new nurse I was going to get kept calling me to see what she was suppose to do! She told me that the files were all over the place and she didn't understand them! What?! NO WAY! And "I'M" suppose to tell her what shes to do? When she came yesterday, she did everything she was suppose to do and even knew how to put my medicines in the reminder box. Boy was I so grateful that it turned out for the good. Whew! My home health aide was here as well. She does my laundry first. I'm sitting in my room with the oxygen on and I hear that the washer was 'off' and making that boom sound. I yelled to her to go fix the washer. I didn't get a responce, so I had no idea where she was. I got up and she was in the kitchen. I yelled at her, telling her to not let the washer do that, it will break the drum inside! She went and finally fixed it. I had both of my doors shut so it would get cooler in my room. It was awhile before I seen her. She came in and asked me what I wanted her to do next. I apoligized to her about yelling at her because I was having a bad day. It wasn't her fault. lol...she told me that she never wants to piss me off again! lol I guess I scared her. That wasn't my intention.

And now it's today. I guess I just have so much on my mind and I really need to get it out before I hurt more people, like my family. I do feel pretty bad. Just it seems that so much has happened this week. I even don't have my best friend anymore. I'm really glad that I cancelled my tests. I couldn't imagine what my week would have been like. I'm just glad this week is over. I called dh at work yesterday to see if he could come home early. I just needed to talk and get a few things off of my chest. He told me he'd try. When he got home, he hugged me. I needed that. He's the only one that can calm me down. And he did. :o)
I'm very grateful for my family! I love them all so very much! :o) I also need them. :o) I'm also so grateful for what I have....Love! :o)
I'm signing off now....!  :o)

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.




chat2missie said...

Sometimes, medical professionals need to be put in their place!  Have a good weekend.

hugsdoodlewacky said...

(((((((((((((((LISA))))))))))))I am sorry you had to go through all that.

nelishianatl said...

I like your fighting spirit though sometimes it can exhaust you. I am very glad your husband was there for you that afternoon.  One thing I can't stand is for someone to tell me how I feel.  THat just 'gets me' too.  

I think I would have been scared if you yelled at me too.  lol  But as a Nurse's Aid she shouldn't have been just sitting unless you told her it was ok.  It's hard to find good ones, whose whole heart is into it and they aren't there just for the paycheck.  My heart was in it.  

I hope you have a weekend where you feel good.


pharmolo said...

Methinks you are in control, Lisa, for as much as you can be. One thing no health practitioner should do: talk down to their patients. Hope you'll have a good weekend.

ajquinn354 said...

Lisa just wish we could all be there to help you out with all you are going through daily.  Take care dear.  Arlene (AJ)