Tuesday, March 18, 2008


.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal's entry is toward anyone in specific, I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess, and in hopes it might help someone else as I do.I do not pretend nor imatate to be someone I'm not. And if you might take an entry wrong and feel that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life. And if there is something in what I write that "offends" you, options; don't read, or realize that this IS real life, and learn more about it! I also know that what I write in MY journal, that NOT everyone will agree with me and I don't expect them to! God bless you!......


I just need to talk a bit right now. I hope you won't be thinking that all I'm doing is whinning. I just still can't wrap my brain around things. I feel overwhelmed. I have been feeling weaker. The fight is getting harder and over all, just putting a toll on me.
I had missed a call on Monday from Legacy, where my other oxygen is from. I called in the morning and the guy brought me 4 little tanks that holds 4 hours. I have a little 'bag' that it will go in and it's not at all heavy for me. My oxyden level was checked as well. The first reading was 91, then he had me keep the 'thingy' on that does the checking and I also had the other oxygen on. He had me walk back and forth from the Kitchen to the living room. My number was 98. He said that it proved to him that it does help me. I already knew that. Soooo, I'm now on oxygen all the time now. Bummer.

I like what the above poem says. It kind of tells of what I'm going through in my life with the people in it. I've made hudge life changes. Because this is my life and I have to think of me. Not everyone else. I even lost my best friend. I don't need anymore drama in my life. It's been a bit more relaxing.
There are times to where I honesty feel like I'm going to really lose it. I'm holding on tight to my faith. When you're at the end of your rope, just tie a not at the end!
My life changes so much each day. What scares me is that I never know what my body will be like when I get up in the morning. This is my life right now until I am able to find another way to fight this. And I will.
My grandson wanted his picture taken with us. :o) We just couldn't say no. :o)
Thank you for listening.




nelishianatl said...


katerh99 said...

Lisa, Just a quick and true story. MS is weird.  A dear friend of mine was diagnosed with Progressive MS at the age of 45 yrs. She had been School Nurse, (R.N.), following an excellent career. Within one year she was wheelchair bound. She could barely speak, was nearly blind, and had many symptoms such as you describe. She was was recommended to Hospice Care, as her MS Dr. did not think she would live long. Long story short...it is ten years later. Yes, she does still use the wheelchair. But she can speak, converse, see, read, eat well, think straight, plays with her grandchildren and throws good parties! They may be potluck, but we sure have a good time. And most of all, so does she. And she lives at home.

Even Progressive MS can can throw weird curves....for the better. J-Land is praying for you and so am I.

jeanno43 said...

What lovely pictures!  Rant all that you want.  Like you I never know how I am going to be from one day to the next, even from morning until afternoon.  For completely different reasons of course.  I find myself o.k. and then I burst into tears.  I ache all the time these days.  I feel so very old.  My faith keeps me going as well but I get so disappointed when I go to bed feeling confident and tell myself tomorrow will be a better day and then it is not.  I tell myself that nothing lasts forever, that things will get better.  That is about all we can do, the best we can, keep our faith and hope for better times.  Hugs.


pharmolo said...

There is no mistaking the fact you have had to come to terms with some major changes in your life, Lisa, and I defy anyone to go through what you have gone through. Because you didn't want those changes, but nature, unfortunately, pushed you there. And that's the difficulty in a way. Because there's nothing, at the end of the day, that you could have done to prevent progression, deterioration or whatever. It is outwith your control. You have done exceptionally well :-))

ajquinn354 said...

Lisa know we all care about you. Life hasn't been easy for you dear, proud of the fight you do every day and your determination.  Miracles happen all the time, keep fighting.  I've also know a woman about your age with MS and she's had some horrendous up and down days, but with time and care, she's gotten better, so there is always hope. Bless you. Arlene

swmpgrly said...

your will and determination amazes me.
(This is my life right now until I am able to find another way to fight this. And I will. )
That statement tells me you are soooo strong and nothings gonna beat you down.
You are Amazing!

cherry2sweet2eat said...

have a good night.