Friday, February 29, 2008

If only you knew.....

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal's entry is toward anyone in specific, I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess, and in hopes it might help someone else as I do.I do not pretend nor imatate to be someone I'm not. And if you might take an entry wrong and feel that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life. And if there is something in what I write that "offends" you, options; don't read, or realize that this IS real life, and learn more about it! I also know that what I write in MY journal, that NOT everyone will agree with me and I don't expect them to! God bless you!......


 



Good morning! In hope it finds you all well and doing fine.


Yesterday went pretty smooth. My nurse came first. She was a bit late because she needed to be here when my Home Health Aide came. There is a Care Plan for any Home Health Aide that comes in this house. They're suppose to have a copy as well. My nurse needed to see if she was doing what she is suppose to be doing to help me. I told her how much I really like this one. I ask of her to wash and iron my bed sheets. I haven't been able to iron and I really miss it. I like to have my things ironed! :o) I know, I'm a bit odd! lol This Aide does it perfect! I told my nurse that this Aide is a hard worker and does everything. She's young, so she has the energy. :o) Plus, she knows how to laugh and just have fun! I love that! :o) So, after my nurse had seen how we interact together and if she is doing the things on the list, she went ahead and left.

My Aide left at 3:00. Then I was waiting on the food delivery guy to come. I was getting tired and just not feeling up to speed and I really needed a nap. So, I just went in and sat in my bed and rested a bit. It seemed that I had to use my inhaler a lot more yesterday as well. I was getting out of breath a lot. Part of CHF. gggrrr! The inhaler does help, I can feel my lungs expand a bit more when I take in a deep breath. Oh...I almost forgot about this. When my nurse comes, she has to also do certain things no matter what. I had to get weighed and I have lost 3 pounds!!! YAY! :o) Within the amount of when I started taking a double dose of the Lasix. :o) I'm still swelling up, and she doesn't understand it, I don't either.....but I'm seeing progress! :o) Thats the good thing. :o)

The food delivery guy didn't come until around 6-6:30! He had to take care of something important to him...so thats why he was late. He is really a nice guy, he even brings a dog bone for Madia each week too! :o) He really likes her...who couldn't love her! And its too cute...she knows he's here by the sound of the truck! :o) Then she goes to the front door and waits on him! lol :o) She's so cute! I'm so glad we have her!

Today, my Physical Therapist was suppose to come, but I called to cancel because I'm not feeling very well. He usually comes at 10:00. I guess how I'm feeling is just not up to par. My energy level is very low and I woke up with the shakes again. Oh yay. Thats no fun. Well, it is when I do something stupid because it makes me laugh! lol I'm always doing something stupid and I just have to laugh! I even make my daughte, son and my grandson! I don't think that my sil really knows how to 'take' me! lol It's funny, he and I can go back and forth with each other! He's funny! My daughter just gives me this look like, "He's not funny so stop laughing!" LOL I told her that she married to him so thats why its not funny to her! :o)
I've had a few things that were and still are, on my mind now for months. I can't shake it. I've done something that you can never get back. I've really hurt someone that I love. There are no words that can explain how I feel. But more importantly, it's how this person feels. I handled something in the wrong way and I can never get it back.

I'm actually sick to my stomach over this. Because I 'know' what I did was wrong and how it effected the other person. I guess I didn't think that what I did was as bad as it truly was. Keyword here is; "think."
I took 2 Dorvicets to help with my pains. I can feel the edge coming down a bit. It's my back/spine, hips and upper thighs. As always.
I'm going for now, need to take a walk. I'll use my walker because it's safer.
Have a great day! God bless all of you!




9 comments:

chat2missie said...

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trishaham said...

Awww... I hoe you feel better and don't be so hard on yourself. "To err is human" We have all hurt someone at some time in our lives. "To forgive is devine"

Tia

kirkbyj05 said...

Have a lovely weekend Lisa and I'm glad to read that you are using your walker.  
Take care...I will be thinking of you but wont be on the computer as I have family coming to stay again this weekend to see me for Mother's Day.
Behave yourself until I come back.
Hugs
Jeanie  xxx

katie39041 said...

Looks like your having a tough time of things Lisa. Your in my prayers.One thing i picked up on, You say you have hurt someone. It is never too late to make amends. If that person cares for you the same as you care for them you need to talk it over explain why you said the things you said. Also tell them how much you love them. We all say and do things we do not mean. Do not push yourself on them say what you have to say, or write a letter. But then wait, if they care they will come back to you.
love and hugs
katie

pharmolo said...

Hi Lisa,
Wishing you continued strength in coping with your health challenges.
If the person you hurt cares about you, they'll let it lie, and not let an honest mistake stand in the way of a valuable friendship.

Guido

lanurseprn said...

Ditto on what Guido said.
Pam

specialadyfink said...

howdy gal-sounds like your nurse is a good one this time...and your home health aide-you got lucky there.
Mom always had one of those big ironer machines and one of my chores was to iron sheets and pillowcases.They really did theirself-they rolled around and you held the handle until it finished with that part and lifted the handle and moved it to another spot...I can still smell that wonderful smell of those warm sheets-I loved to put my face against theem when they were warm-after they cooled down a bit.
I'd give that sweet Madia a bone too,if I could....
Love that last graphic-It 'fits'
Huggies
connie

helmswondermom said...

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jmoqueen said...

Keep feeling strong lisa, you'll be ok xx

Jenny

http://journals.aol.co.uk/Jmoqueen/MyLife