Saturday, February 16, 2008

~Inhale,Exhale,Tests,update....Oh My! :o)~

Ok....again, I don't know where to start. A lot has happened this week! Whew....I want off of this ride! :o) So, if I'm all over the place...thats because thats how I'm going to remember all of it. (brain fog doesn't help either. lol)

I absolutly love this graphic. Beautiful! Yes, I am stauling. (sp)

I love this one too. And you know I
will live my life my way! :o) I usually do, or at least put a good effert to. :o)

I went to see my heart doctor....I was 10 minutes late! I'm usually on time and early! But they said that it was ok because I'm already one of their patients. I was glad to hear that. If I wasn't, I would had to have paid a certain amount of money. I never knew that one.

I woke up at 4:00 this morning. Kind of early but I'll just take a nap later. I'm sure you understand that I have soooo much on my mind. So many things I need/want to do.
Wednesday evening I noticed that I'm starting to swell up again. This time, it's starting in my upper body. Like my face, chest and stomach. Thursday when my nurse was here, she had noticed it in my legs and feet as well. I was weighed and thats when I realized that I had gained 10 pounds! And it was over night! Fast! She told me to make sure I get as much rest as I can. So I did. She didn't do anything because I had my heart doctors appointment the next day. That was fine with me. I'm sooooooo getting tired of being touched, poked, pinched and squeezed! A big OUCHIE!

It would be nice when I see one of my doctors, that they could at least say something positive to me except, "This won't hurt!" lol Geesh!
You know the weirdest thing about my body swelling? It's the part to where I can actually feel it! Ick! No kidding! I proved it last night. When my whole body was swolling the last time, I had her measure my feet and my cankles. <--Yes, thats what they were. Last night, I had her help me measure my upper body. I'm going to be brave here and tell you all my measurements. Here goes; My calfs were 15 and 15 1/2, my right cankle was 11inches, the top of my foot around was 10 inches, my left cankle was 11 1/2, my left top of my foot around was 10 1/2, my left calv was 15 inches. My waist, measured last night is 48 inches! Yikes! I used to have a 19 inch waist! :o) Good memories! :o) My waist was 48 1/2 the last time. But right now, It's swelling mostly in my upper body. It makes it hard for me to breath. Especially when I lay down. I'm getting out of breath so fast. When I don't have my oxygen on, I use my inhaler.
I have this little thing that Legacy provided for me, to see how much oxygen I have in my blood. It's this little thingy that you put on your finger for 24 hours. This is going to be pretty easy to do.
My arms and hands are swollen as well. When I was at the doctors, (I seen a nurse practioner first) she noticed my hands and they both and my right foot, always are purple. I've showed them to all of my other doctors and they told me it was lack of circilation. This lady called it a name that I forgot already. She took my hands and examimed them both very closely. She said that she would like for me to be tested for the name of it that I forgot. But after the tests I have on Tuesday morning. I'm shceduled for an Echo, which I've had before. I can't remember the names of all the other tests, except for the last one. A stress test. Not the one that you walk/run on a treadmill. This one is when they give me a shot that will put me IN the start of a heart attack! I've had this done once before. It scares the hell out of me! I have to sign a bunch of papers just in case I might die! The last time I had this done, I just sat on the bed and relaxed. (well, as relaxed as much as I could) There are many people around you, so close that I don't really feel comfortable being in my space. If that makes sense. But they do have to be there and where they're at. There was the doctor, a nurse, a clergyman, another person with the defibulators, (sp) and another that can crack me open as soon as needed! It's very overwhelming! The last time I had this test was in 2006. At that time, the results were that my lungs aren't very strong and the right side of my heart is damaged and starting to droop a bit. I've never heard of that one. But I guess my lungs haven't helped my heart any. Which has made the congestive heart failure. I also have a palpatating heart as well. Good Grief! It also isn't beating right, and again, I forgot the name of it too.
The doctor will be doing these tests in his office. It will take about 3-5 hours! I have to be there at 8:00 am. And yes....this scares me like nothing else has ever! Since I've already been through this before, it's making it worse because I already know what to expect. I survived the last one, so I'll survive this next one too. :o)
When I came home yesterday, I had to do something to just take the edge off of how I was feeling! Scared is what I was/am feeling! So I put Marlyn Manson in and blasted it! Kayden and I jammed to it! ;o) I like the way he redid Tainted Love. :o) Then I put in Gretchen Wilson to slow myself down. Music can calm me down quick. It worked.
Sorry about this entry being so you can guess, my nerves are shot, I really need to talk and I'm scared. And thank you so much Cindy! You don't realize how much you've calmed me down when I read your email! :o) Thank you!
I have more things going on, but right now I just need to stop.

ALL of you for your comments and encouraging words! It truly means so much to me! Thank you also for signing my guest book! :o) I appreciate all that you are all doing to help me to get through this. :o)

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about dancing in the rain NAKED!!






madcobug said...

Sending up prayers for you that you will make it through those test fine and that they can give you some meds that will keep everything under control. May God with with you on this journey and calm you down so you won't be afraid. Hugs, Helen

specialadyfink said...

Geeez-what is there to say that can help you feel better--wish I had the magic word..I never knew that they put your heart into the start of a heart attack-my mom went through that the other day and I couldn't get to the hospital to be with her.She went to the hospital ER at 7 AM and they let her go home at 11:35 PM.She was telling me about this stress test and shoot that is why she went to the hospital-she couldn't breath her chest hurt and 2 nitro didn't help...then they try to make you have a heart attack-makes no sense to me.
Love the lil graphic I keep my journal public-I swiped it!!
You take care and know we're out here to lend an ear.........

springangel235 said...

You are always in my thoughts and prayers....I hope you can get treated with the right meds to keep the swelling down...
I love your tags...they are awesome, as you are too.
Hugs and love,

momiscool2 said...

I'll keep you in my prayers!

ajquinn354 said...

Lisa dear, allow yourself to calm down if you can.  You are worrying and I understand that because of your problems you are having. But, you'll be in good hands.  I have the nuclear stres test done every year because of my congestive heart failure and trust me dear, they are not putting you in a heart attack stage, that is not what this test is about.  Yes it takes several hours as you have the first part of the test done, then they want you to go out and eat some food and then come back for the final small part and to remove the needle that ran the medication into your system for the test. I've never been told it puts me in a heart attack stage and it hasn't.  The people that are there are to help you with the test and some folks might get dizzy when the needles is removed after the 2nd part of the test so they are there to make sure you don't fall and feel ok. I also have the Echo test done, the EKG test and others.  Been doing this for 8 years without any problem. You'll be fine.   Arlene (AJ)

pharmolo said...

When will you hear the results of your tests, or more to the point, what are they goign to do with them? It doesn't sound very good at all, but you don't need me to tell you that. Keep smiling :-)

hugsdoodlewacky said...

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((LISA))))))))))))))))I hope you have a pain free weekend.Maybe you can do one of your hobbies to take your mind off the pain.I know,easy said than done.I am there now,having alot of pain with my knees.

lisa41076 said...

Awwww Lisa I hope you have a pain - free weekend, Love and Hugs Lisa

heavenlybama said...

Keeping you in my prayers Lisa!

swmpgrly said...

I would be scared to death. I will keep praying , you will be ok I have faith.

trishaham said...

Lisa, Please know my continued prayers are with you. You are such a loving and brave soul. May God keep you safe always. In Jesus name I pray.

nelishianatl said...

The tests do sound scary.  I've always heard there's never a testimony without a test.  We are all hoping and praying and believing for you.  I am here also if you ever want to talk.  I have always appreciated your friendship and letters.  You're an awesome person and fantastic lady in my opinion.


imgr8phil said...

I know it has been rough on you.  I'm glad that someone can calm you down when you need it.  I hope you are having a good weekend.


dca721 said...

Hi Lisa,
You sure are going through a lot.
I love the idea of you jamming to the music with your grandson.
I went through such a tough time over Christmas,
so much stress that I couldn't turn my mind off at night to sleep.
I went weeks without sleep.
Lately I have been sleeping but don't want to get up...depression.
Take care of you.
I love the Marilyn Monroe quote, it is so true.

dca721 said...

Hi Lisa,
I tried to sign your guest book but wasn't able to.
Maybe I did something wrong?  I don't know.
I am sorry you have to go through all these tests.
I wish you well always.

ukgal36 said...

Wishing you all the best

gehi6 said...

Have been reading all the entries that I have missed due to concentration on my son Raymond's crisis with his health, but I think he is getting through it now, figuring out what he has to do to turn things around.  I think you are doing such a good job of writing down all that is going on.  It is just so illuminating to me.  I think that journals like these are very valuable somehow because they tell us how a person feels going through all these changes.  I, for one, greatly appreciate that you are sharing your history with those who want to read it and be with you in these hours of need.  I know some of the other journalists are experiencing crisis in their lives from time to time and must take time away from the reading and writing.  But the essentially caring ones will be back again and again showing you that they keep you in their minds and prayers as I do.  Gerry

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shrbrisc said...