Yesterday was just another very painful day. In more ways then one. My body is still kind of in a "numb" state after our loss, and I'm now starting to feel all the pain and large muscle cramping once again pretty bad. This too shall pass. It's amazing what stress can do to my body. It was in the 50's here and nice and sunny out, so I thought I'd go out back for the first time since our loss. It was a very hard thing to do. To look around and see all of the places that she would sit to gaurd our house, and to not see her there was very painful. I had my phone with me, and my best friend called, and we cried together. My family and friends have been so supportive. And I thank them so very much.
And going through pain other then was just mentioned, has been very hard on me and my body as well. Yes Jeannette, I have been having someone speak ill of me and my family. Why? I don't know. And yes, I have been ignoring it so I can heal myself. I feel that my health is way more important then the pettiness of someone elses behavoir. I did, however, recieve an email saying that they were sorry for the hurtful and unkind words that were spoken and the actions that followed. And they hope that my needs are answered. I honestly hope thats true.
I couldn't sleep again last night. I got up at 2:00 this morning. I just have so much on my mind. I did get good news for a motorized wheel chair. I have an appointment this morning at The Good Will in Dayton. :o) They except donations of everything that will help others like me. They even have cars. I never knew this. What a great place! :o) Since they are helping me, I am going to donate my wheel chair to them, since I no longer can use it. :o) I know it will bennifit someone out there like me! :o) And it gives me such a great feeling! :o) I have crutches too, and I will take them with me as well, because you never know who might need them. Now, all we need to do is build a ramp for me to get in and out of the house. Easier said then done. Maybe they might know of some place that can donate one for me, who knows. :o) Our money situation has been very tight for months now, and can't offord anything extra thats out side of the house bills. Getting things for Christmas was hard enough on us. The next item that I have a prescription for that I need is the hot tub. That is very hard to find. I've been calling around on that as well. No luck. I guess no one likes to donate those to people with medical needs. But, I still will not give up on that either. I still pray for the help that my family and I need, not want. Through all the calls that I have been making through all of these months, I have found that the people that are in a money situation as we are do the donating, and the people that can afford it and are well taken care of, don't. Very sad to see. When so many people in need could bennifit from their many gifts.
My sister called me last night to let me know that she and her boy friend will be coming up today. :o) I'm looking forward to it. :o) Having my daughter and grandson here again spending the night, has really helped me so much. :O)
I do want to thank you all for your comments of support. :O) You don't know how much it means to me to know that there are people out there in J-land and people that reads my journal do care. :o) Thank you! :o) God bless you all! :o)
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