Thursday, March 17, 2005
A bit better.
Well....I cried most of the day. My mom told me that she would stop by after court to let me know how things went. She didn't. Then I got very worried and thought she was mad at me for not being there for help. So, I cried. My son and I had a spat early on in the morning. That made matters worse. I cried over that. My body is in a total freak out mode. My daughter seen that my sister who lives with my mom, get on line at around 3:50. I asked my daughter to let me get on line so I could email her. I really was upset then...because seeing that my sister was on line, I thought then my mom was really upset at me. Not the case. Whew! I wasted a whole day of doing nothing but crying and worrying and causing more added pain to my body. My mom called me to let me know the outcome, and it was good. :o) I'm so glad, and she wasn't mad at me at all....it was my own guilt that I thought up in my head, that she would be upset at me. I should have known better. But...thats me, a worrier. :o( I just got off the phone with her, and I feel better. I don't feel the guilt anymore. But....of course, I do still have all of the other stressers on my mind. That will take time to get rid of. Only if I'm able to talk about it to the right people. In this house? Yea, right! :o( I am done crying....and I feel so silly about worrying over this. But..thats me. :o)