~Detachment~

Detachment is....

 

Ability to allow people, places, or things

the freedom to be themselves.

Holding back from the need to rescue,

save, or fix another person from being

sick,

dysfunctional, or irrational.

Giving another person "the space'' to be

him or herself.

Disengaging from an over-enmeshed or

dependent relationship with people.

Willingness to accept that you cannot

change or control a person, place, or

thing.

Developing and maintaining of a safe,

emotional distance from someone whom

you have previously given a lot of power

to affect your emotional outlook on life.

Establishing of emotional boundaries

between you and those people you have

become overly enmeshed or dependent

with in order that all of you might be

able to develop your own sense of

autonomy and independence.

Process by which you are free to feel

your own feelings when you see another

person falter and fail and not be led by

guilt to feel responsible for their failure

or faltering.

Ability to maintain an emotional bond of

love, concern, and caring without the

negative results of rescuing, enabling,

fixing, or controlling.

Placing of all things in life into a healthy,

rational perspective and recognizing that

there is a need to back away from the

uncontrollable and unchangeable realities

of life.

Ability to exercise emotional self-protection

and prevention so as not to experience

greater emotional devastation from having

hung on beyond a reasonable and rational

point.


Ability to let people you love and care for

accept personal responsibility for their own

actions and to practice tough love and not

give in when they come to you to bail

them out when their actions lead to failure

or trouble for them


Ability to allow people to be who they

"really are'' rather than who you "want

them to be.''

Ability to avoid being hurt, abused, taken

advantage of by people who in the past

have been overly dependent or enmeshed

with you.

 

"Only one thing has to change for us to know happiness in our lives: where we focus our attention."

-- Greg Anderson

"He who would have beautiful roses
in his garden must have
beautiful roses in his heart."
-S.R. Hole-