Wednesday, February 28, 2007
~My path, My way, My friends!~
I have a few things on my mind....again....I need to express! Sorry, but if I don't get this out and off of my mind, the more pain I'll be in, and I really don't need that right now.
As you all now, I have my faith and it's very strong! I feel that I don't need to keep going over it ALL the time! But, as I've seen, someone seems to THINK I should! Again, I know whats going on WITH me and thats all there needs to be! OK? And don't just "think" I get this from your journal, reamber the email you sent to me? At the end, you say NOT to put this in my journal! Probably because YOU don't want your "friend" to know what you REALLY do! And HOW nasty you can really TALK! Plus....I can have who I want as friends! OK? Now....one more thing! When I say "My ex nieghbor," who does it mean? Have I lived in this house ALL of my life? NO! So as you put it, get your panties out of a wad! I have alot of "ex nieghbors." And so do you! GET OVER YOURSELF! Or, how YOU put it, Stop hanging on to every word I write! OK? This may please you to know that yes I am dying! But for you, not soon enough! But if YOU don't stop.... then yes...it's going FASTER! And THANKS! And the word "stupid" is an "opinion!" Not SLANDER! Moving on................
Yesterday wasn't very good at all. Pain wise! My leg was not working very well the whole day. :o( My left arm was doing bad as well. Actually my whole left side wasn't doing good! I know crying doesn't help the pain any, but I sure did alot of that! It's the "unknown" that is scary for me! And this one is a biggie! It's my left side of my body thats not doing what a normal human body is suppose to do! That is scaring me to death! I don't know what to do and I have nothing to take that will help the pain. So I have to go through all of the pain! I just keep praying to God to keep his hands on me! Now, I can't hide my pains from anyone!
I have the shakes again this morning. I know I'm pretty weak still. My voice is weak as well. I was talking to Gina on the phone last night, and I thought I was talking normal, and she said she could hardly hear me! LOL :o) Sorry Gina! LOL And thanks for calling! It made my night! :o)
My husband got home....he was conerned about what had happend the night before. He had wittnessed my leg. I had something to eat, and then I sat in my recliner. I'm so glad that I got that! I reclined all the way back, and he put some pillows under my left leg. He thought that maybe if my leg was above my heart, it might help it. Well...the both of us don't know what to do, and we're doing the best we can to cope with this together. :o) It didn't work. My leg started to feel like my heart was in my leg! A " thumping" feeling! He took them out, and I sat the chair back up. He went on to bed and my daughter was still up. I wanted to get in my bed, and my chair is at the end of my bed. I yelled for her and she helped me get in bed. :o) I don't know what I'm going to do if I'm ever alone now. My cane really isn't a help anymore. My walker helps a bit more. I guess I'm wheel chair bound. ;o( And I'm fighting to NOT be this way! If I can. My strength is going away too. I'm still working on it though. My mind is still there and mind over matter! If my stress level could go down....I know my strength would come back. But that will never happen! I'll either get an email or something in her journal. Let's hope not!
She knows what I have and still doesn't seem to care! How about that!
Yesterday, and the night before, I was up helping a friend! I hope and pray that everything is alright! I'm so worried! Oh...The below entry has been settled, and so sorry that I forgot to put in a side note. It was a misunderstand on both parts. :o(
All of my friends know I'm always there for them when they need me! I even slept with my phone last night! Just in case!
Today, my home health aid will be here. And tomorrow my physical therapist is coming. :o( Oooh thats going to hurt! Not looking forward to that! Ouchie!
Well.....I do need to go....my leg is killing me right now. I don't know what to do for it. I just had it up. Oh well. :o) I'll figure something out. ;o) If I knew why and what it is or causing it, that would help! :o)
Thank you all for your emails and comments...they really do help me to get htrough my days! :o) Gods blessings to all of you! :o)