Thursday, May 17, 2007

I think I can...I think I can...! :o)

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal's entry is toward anyone in specific, I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess,and in hopes it might help someone else as I do. And if you might take an entry wrong and feel that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life. May God bless you!......


 



Good afternoon everyone! I do hope that you all are feeling and doing good. :o)


All I can say right now is what a night! I know that I'M still shaking! My daughter says she's fine! Just say's that how fast that how it all happened! Yes...it does! In a blink of an eye!
I happened to be in the shower when it happened. I wasn't told about it until awhile after! ggrr! Then I was told and then told that I was NOT to "show my emotions" (me being upset and crying) when she gets home!!! GGGRRR!!! By someone that doesn't understand what it's like to have his own child!!! :o( I was a reck! No sooner I was told, she got home and all I wanted to do was hold her and never let go of her! Of course, I had to look her over to see for myself that she was ok. She only has a scratch on her finger from the glass that flew from her car. Again...Thank and Praise God that NO one was hurt in this!
Her car was put in the garage. She took pictures of it. I went out to look at it. It upset me. I held in my tears. I had to go back in the house. By having to hold in my emotions made my muscles have fun with my body! Ouch!

Before she leaves for school, she says a prayer. Yesterday, she had a feeling...a different kind of feeling when she was dropping off my grandson to his daddy's house. Before she left the house here...she had prayed and put on a neckless. She's Catholic and it was a St. Anthony necklace. Saint of miracles. I didn't know this. She was being watched over!


The evening went fast for me. As a mother...all I wanted to do was to make sure she was alright! Being in a car accident myself, I know that sometimes that you don't feel that you're hurt until hours after. She was fine! Just being a mom! :o) And she let me! :o)
I would go to my bedroom to cry a bit, then come back out so he wouldn't see me. I had to release somehow. I love my kids way too much.
When my son was 15...he had a severe bicycle accident! He was 'ramping' his bike with some friends at his house on a well built ramp. His parents always were there to watch the kids to make sure things were fine. My son's bike came down wrong and he landed on the top of his head...hard to explain where, but here goes...you know where a babies 'soft spot is? ...right there is where he landed! He had a near death experiance! His friends mom helped him back, and rushed him home to me! I was in histerics!!! His teeth were broken out, his head had and face were all bloodied and bulged and his arms, hands and legs were all cut up! She had to carry him to me! I rushed him to the hospital and they stitched him all up and cleaned him up! That was the worst that he has been through! Thank God for that one too! His teeth are half of what they once were. He still has problems with them, but he says at least he still has them.

Today....I don't have anything at all planned! My physical therapist came this morning. My body was all 'balled' up. I told her what had happened. This mornings massage hurt so bad it made me cry! It hasn't done that in awhile. I talked to her abit about having to keep my emotions in because she wanted to know why my body was in such a way. She just gave me a big hug. She knows.


So far...all this morning, my daughter and I have been able to show our emotions to one another! So...I've able to cry openly and it feels so good. And it's helping her too! Thats how "I" raised them..not him!!!
She says how amazing it is at some of the things that goes through your mind too...like after the accident. Like since she was on her way to class...so she was thinking that she had enough quarters for the pop machines...she just got gas...and just things like that! :o) Yes...I know I did too...little things went through my mind too! Why...I don't know. But, I told her to keep talking and to let it all out! :o) And she is! She keeps remembering more things the more she talks. Thats good! :o)
I've rambled on abit too much! LOL I'll probably be rambling all day like this! :o)
I truly want to thank each and everyone of you for your prayers! Thank you! :o)

Thank you all for your emails and comments! :o) They means so much to me! :o) Gods blessings to you all! :o)

...The past is never dead, it is not past.
          -----William Faulkner



 


16 comments:

rdautumnsage said...

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lisa41076 said...

Lisa, glad your daughter is ok, Hugs Lisa

ceilisundancer said...

I'm glad that she is able to vent and release with you, Lisa.  It'll help both of you.  Yes, glad God was watching over her, and that your grandson was no longer in there with her, all those things.  Miracles can happen.

my78novata said...

I love the top pic.
your daughter will be sore but Im glad hse is okay as can be for this .

yes even bike wrecks can be bad you as mom havea right ot be worried abotuu your kids and show emotoin no matter how old they are

astoriasand said...

I know just how you feel Lisa.My son who lives in USA had a terrible road accident a few yrs before he came out there.It made me ill for months.The guy who ran into him who's fault it was died and I never got over it for yrs.His family and I contacted one another and no ill feeling was ever brought about.Even though it was there sons mistake and fault,I thanked God so much my son was ok!! It did affect him for many months mentaly.He is ok now though and funnyly enough I chrisitened him after St Anthony.That being his middle name.Not his first name.So you let your feelings out love don't hold them in nor your daughter.Things could have been much worse but still it is a terrible shock any accident is.I do hope you get better as time passes by this week .I am late with my comments today I have had so many other things to do.At last I am now able to settle down for an hour now on my pooter YEHHHHHHHHH LOL!!.
It keeps me going I think.I do not know sometimes what I would do without it LOL!!.Hugs to Daughter and yourself.Both keep well.Keep smiling.Take Care God Bless.Kath

Astoriasand http://journals.aol.co.uk/astoriasand/MYSIMPLERHYMES

emabecmar said...

My gosh, I am so glad your daughter is ok. And as for "him" saying hold in your emotions, I'd like to slap him in his dang head. Your a mother, it is natural to be upset when one of your children is ill or hurt. Hold in your emotions, grrrrrrrrrr he made me mad. (((((((((Lisa))))))))))
Love you,
Cindy xoxo

kamdghwmw said...

I am just so glad that your daughter is fine!
Kelli
http://journals.aol.com/kamdghwmw/noonmom

coopsbaby said...

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helmswondermom said...

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psychfun said...

I'm not sure who is telling you to not show your emotions but they are so wrong. My guess a male?! Not that all males don't & all femals do but in general. This is why they commit suicide more than women! Ugh. Do not listen. You are experiencing the consequences of keeping it in with your muscles & there can be others. There is not a psychiatrist, psychologist or counselor in the world who would tell you to keep it in. Now there certainly are healthy & unhealthy ways to express it...aggression would not be good but you should express it. Everyone is different how but you should.

hugsdoodlewacky said...

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hugsdoodlewacky said...

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sweetestsin52605 said...

I love you mom!! I told ya yesterday to show ur emotions and screw him, didn't I? I'm glad we got to talk to day. Yea, I just had my oil changed and I got "some" gas before I left. I was so pissed I didn't grab a water either...haha. Oh well. At least I am okay and we shall see how that kid is since it looked like to me he was faking it. :/ oh well. I love you mom!!!

jmoqueen said...

I am just so glad that your daughter is ok :-)  Glad she's talking about it and you are able to express your emotions.  That sounds so bad what your son went through but at least he is here xx

Jenny

http://journals.aol.co.uk/jmoqueen/MyLife/

gehi6 said...

I would have been so upset, too.  It's a wonder to me everyone gets where they are going as safely as they do,. and we have some very reckless drivers in Arizona.  I do hope your daughter was not hurt, just shaken up, because it is true some injuries don't show up at first.   Gerry
http://journals.aol.com/gehi6/daughters-of-the-shadow-men/  

queeniemart said...

no one has the right to tell you not to show your emotions, that is cruel. I am so glad your daughter is ok...i know how you must have felt and i know how you love your kids!
XO lj