.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal's entry is toward anyone in specific, I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess,and in hopes it might help someone else as I do. And if you might take an entry wrong and feel that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life. May God bless you!......
Good afternoon everyone! I do hope that you all are feeling and doing good. :o)
All I can say right now is what a night! I know that I'M still shaking! My daughter says she's fine! Just say's that how fast that how it all happened! Yes...it does! In a blink of an eye!
I happened to be in the shower when it happened. I wasn't told about it until awhile after! ggrr! Then I was told and then told that I was NOT to "show my emotions" (me being upset and crying) when she gets home!!! GGGRRR!!! By someone that doesn't understand what it's like to have his own child!!! :o( I was a reck! No sooner I was told, she got home and all I wanted to do was hold her and never let go of her! Of course, I had to look her over to see for myself that she was ok. She only has a scratch on her finger from the glass that flew from her car. Again...Thank and Praise God that NO one was hurt in this!
Her car was put in the garage. She took pictures of it. I went out to look at it. It upset me. I held in my tears. I had to go back in the house. By having to hold in my emotions made my muscles have fun with my body! Ouch!
Before she leaves for school, she says a prayer. Yesterday, she had a feeling...a different kind of feeling when she was dropping off my grandson to his daddy's house. Before she left the house here...she had prayed and put on a neckless. She's Catholic and it was a St. Anthony necklace. Saint of miracles. I didn't know this. She was being watched over!
The evening went fast for me. As a mother...all I wanted to do was to make sure she was alright! Being in a car accident myself, I know that sometimes that you don't feel that you're hurt until hours after. She was fine! Just being a mom! :o) And she let me! :o)
I would go to my bedroom to cry a bit, then come back out so he wouldn't see me. I had to release somehow. I love my kids way too much.
When my son was 15...he had a severe bicycle accident! He was 'ramping' his bike with some friends at his house on a well built ramp. His parents always were there to watch the kids to make sure things were fine. My son's bike came down wrong and he landed on the top of his head...hard to explain where, but here goes...you know where a babies 'soft spot is? ...right there is where he landed! He had a near death experiance! His friends mom helped him back, and rushed him home to me! I was in histerics!!! His teeth were broken out, his head had and face were all bloodied and bulged and his arms, hands and legs were all cut up! She had to carry him to me! I rushed him to the hospital and they stitched him all up and cleaned him up! That was the worst that he has been through! Thank God for that one too! His teeth are half of what they once were. He still has problems with them, but he says at least he still has them.
Today....I don't have anything at all planned! My physical therapist came this morning. My body was all 'balled' up. I told her what had happened. This mornings massage hurt so bad it made me cry! It hasn't done that in awhile. I talked to her abit about having to keep my emotions in because she wanted to know why my body was in such a way. She just gave me a big hug. She knows.
So far...all this morning, my daughter and I have been able to show our emotions to one another! So...I've able to cry openly and it feels so good. And it's helping her too! Thats how "I" raised them..not him!!!
She says how amazing it is at some of the things that goes through your mind too...like after the accident. Like since she was on her way to class...so she was thinking that she had enough quarters for the pop machines...she just got gas...and just things like that! :o) Yes...I know I did too...little things went through my mind too! Why...I don't know. But, I told her to keep talking and to let it all out! :o) And she is! She keeps remembering more things the more she talks. Thats good! :o)
I've rambled on abit too much! LOL I'll probably be rambling all day like this! :o)
I truly want to thank each and everyone of you for your prayers! Thank you! :o)
Thank you all for your emails and comments! :o) They means so much to me! :o) Gods blessings to you all! :o)
...The past is never dead, it is not past.