Saturday, May 12, 2007

Trying another entry.

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal's entry is toward anyone in specific, I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess,and in hopes it might help someone else as I do. And if you might take an entry wrong and feel that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life. May God bless you!......


 



Good afternoon to everyone! I hope you are all doing and feeling well today! :o)


Yesterday, my son and his girlfriend and my daughter pitched in to get me a Mother's Day gift! All of these years...I've never had brand new set of pots and pans. They've all been hand-me-downs from my grandma. :o) What a surprise! :o) Now, when I'm able to cook anything, I won't know how to do it in new pans! LOL :o) How sweet of them! :o)


Tonight...I'm going to finally get to see my son play in his band! They are having this big concert with alot of other bands out at the Elks Farm! :o) I'm so excited! The whole family is going! :o) I even bought my grandson a pair of head phones that cut out alot of the noise! I put them on and I couldn't hear a thing! I blasted the TV music and still could only feel the beat on the floor! So, they will work! YAY! :o) Of course...I'll take pictures! :o)


Tomorrow, my daughter and her boyfriend are taking me to the Olive Garden for dinner! I've never been there! :o) I've heard alot about how great it is! :o) I can't wait! :o)


My girl friend and her husband were here earlier! :o) We had a great talk! :o) We actually had time to talk this time too! lol ;o) It was nice.

She brought up the fact that when she walked in the house, how she would have never ever in her wildest dreams would have thought she'd ever see my house the way it is to this day!!! :o( I agreed. :o( I'm ashamed. She also noticed as she came in the back...that my ramp is blocked off still! She asked me why? "I don't know." I'm not the one that did it...it, to me, would make more sense to block off the steps, not my ramp! I now have been using the steps and it bothers my hips and legs so much more then when I use my ramp. I'd much rather talk to this wall next to me then to go into it with the person who has done it. My house stinks, it needs cleaned so badly! I'm not kidding when I say it's been months! I'm embarressed by it! My physical therapist has said things to me about it, and am surprised that the person thats suppose to be taking care of it hasn't been turned in by her. :o( I don't qualify for any home cleaning servises. My kids do what they can do. I do what I can do. And so does the person that is taking
care of me. But an alcoholic will say anything to make you believe them! :o( Sad. It's embarrsing to admit. I don't write for anyone's pity. I write for me. It feels better to get it off my chest and out of my mind. I would love to have my life back. No..not the life without having my illnesses...the one with the love and help that I once had. It's found in your heart, not in a bottle! It's very clear here when anyone comes over anymore. Me...living in my 'cubical' is what I call my bedroom, and then the rest of the house....you won't find me. Because it's hard for me to get around in! A pig sty! If I EVER even thought about (which I wouldn't have) left the house in this manner, I wouldn't have heard the end of it!!! I do see now...the woman must be the back bone of the family...and once she's "DISABLED" so is everything else! Once again...I was soooo wrong in listening, and believing in someone! It'll never happen again! never! my trust is so low.



 


 


25 comments:

dca721 said...

Hi Lisa,
I am sorry to hear that your house is a mess.
That is hard on you when you are unable to take care of it yourself.
I hope you get some help soon.
If I were near, I would come over and help you.
Nice presents for Mothers Day.
Happy Mothers Day to you.
Love,
Donna

lisa41076 said...

Lisa, Happy Mother's Day to you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you enjoy your dinner out tommorow, Hugs Lisa

astoriasand said...

Oh I think you will do a good job whith those new pans etc when the mood takes you Lisa.How lovely they have bought you this so mmuch wanted gift.You deserve them.I hope you have a fantastic time at the band show.Also have a fantastic meal too sounds a nice place .Don't worry too much about the house work I am sure we have all been in this boat at sometime in our lives,where we  think it is a pig sty.I like visiting pig sty's though if you get a good laugh and good company there and thats the main thing,so if I were nearer I would visit and we could roll about laughing in the pig muck together Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.Mines not as it should be for my liking just now due to not feeling well,but I have past worrying just now.Like you all I want is to be pain free in these old legs of mine.OUCH.Reason my comments are a little late.I havn't been on th epooter much at all.You being disabled though I do think you should get more help than you sound to be doing Grrrrrrrr.Trust does leave us when we have been hurt too much.I am relating to that one plenty.You Take Care I wish you the most wonderful MOTHERS DAY you have ever had.You have a beautiful family.God Bless .Kath
Astoriasand http://journals.aol.co.uk/astoriasand/MYSIMPLERHYMES

mrsmasonater2005 said...

At last i can leave a message...cor i have had problems.  Hi lisa how are u feeling.....happy mothers day to you and i hope you enjoy your lunch tomorrow....i looked at the pictures of your grandson....he has grown and is a fine looking young man and you did a lovely job of his hair cut.  Nicky xx  http://journals.aol.co.uk/mrsmasonater2005/my-life-and-family/




glensfork4 said...

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sugarsweet056 said...

I live in a cubicle too, so I feel for you. And I sooo wish I had a ramp!!! Just don't let it get you down sweet lady, there are others in our situation too. Let's all pray for each other.
Hugs, Sugar

my78novata said...

wish i was there to help clean your house.
Man new pots an dpans that is aawesome cool. you will be the new rachael ray i nyour home lol

penniepooh said...

That must be so frustrating about your house. I know you want to be well enough to take care of it or at least have someone keep it tidy for you! I hope you have a nice weekend and a lovely Mother`s Day.  :0)
Hugs
Penny
http://journals.aol.com/penniepooh/pennys-pieces-of-ohio/

http://www.myspace.com/pennysplace2gogh

penniepooh said...

PS >>> I just love that graphic of the boat!! How cool!

Penny
http://journals.aol.com/penniepooh/pennys-pieces-of-ohio/

http://www.myspace.com/pennysplace2gogh

pharmolo said...

Well, let's hope situation round your way improves sometime fast, Lisa.
Happy Mother's Day!

lanurseprn said...

That boat graphic is so neat! You'll love the Olive Garden. Enjoy their salad and breadsticks.  
Hope your home gets the way you like it again someday.
Pam

jckfrstross said...

Happy Mothers Day:) one day your house will be the way you want it

Deb

rdautumnsage said...

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hugsdoodlewacky said...

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coopsbaby said...

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elmofromoz said...

Your kids are so wonderful. Have a Happy and Joyful Mother's Day you deserve it.
The salad will fill you up and the bread stick are to die for. Now you made me hungry and have to think about what I want for dinner tonight.
 Love ya
  Cindy

nightmaremom said...

Happy Mother's Day!!!  Ohhhh soup and salad is out of this world!!  Eat slowly and get as much as you can in you :)
Love ya
d

emabecmar said...

(((((((((((Lisa))))))))))))) Happy Mother's Day to you my dear friend. Wow, that was nice to get new pots and pans. I really need a new set myself. The ones I have are like 20 years old. I am so sorry about your house, being a mess. If it's any consulation so is mine. I wish we lived closer, I would come over everyday and help you clean it all up, and then we'd hang out a bit for a chat. I really mean that. Your such a loving caring Mom, grandmom and friend and you deserve some happiness. So for today, you just take care of you and forget everything else.
Love you girlfriend,
Cindy xoxo

queeniemart said...

i wish i could help you with your home...do not be ashamed....you do what you can. I love love love Olive Garden and hope you go and enjoy yourself!
love,lisa jo

jmoqueen said...

Don't be ashamed of your home.  You can't be expected to do it all.  Hey even those of us who work all week don't have time to clean.  Just do what you can and feel proud of what you've achieved that's what I reckon :-)  Hope you had fun at the gig and the Olive garden xx

Jenny

http://journals.aol.co.uk/jmoqueen/MyLife

ndnhunny30 said...

Lisa,
Happy Mother's Day hun! I sure wish I could come and help you out or at least get your house clean again for a bit! I know it is hard and you should not be ashamed! It happens ;) The Olive Garden is YUMMY it is one of my favorite places to eat other than Benihana's. I am commenting on all 3 entries  so GREAT pics of your son and his band. You have beautiful kids and a beautiful grandbaby! I hope you have a wonderful day.
Hugs,
Robyn

gehi6 said...

I am so sorry your caregiver has not stepped up as you have become more disabled.  I don't know what to say.  I have been wondering how that was going.  I am afraid many drinkers would not come up to an occasion where they had to extend themselves and take more responsibility, since they have usually been somewhat carried along.  And so hard to make changes.  Have to bide your time.  Gerry

merry1621 said...

Lisa, Now that is sad!  And unexcusable.  But when there is a substance problem around that's what happens.  You can't help it.

I keep everything up, but I can do it still.  If I couldn't, it would only be dusty never dirty.  My husband and I share the load and we always have.

My heart goes out to you. At this stage, I don't know what you can do. As you need a place to live, and this seems to be better than the alternatives.

I know you didn't say this for sympathy.  But all the same I do feel bad for you.  It's like you have no choices. If you can't pay someone, you can't.  

I wish I could do more than tell you, that's a shame, but I don't know what it is.  You are always in my heart, thoughts and prayers.

Love,
Merry
NO baby yet.

queenb8261 said...

My house is a wreck all the time and I COULD clean it, but I don't feel like it...ya know? I hurt all the time. It hell on me getting up and down. My son that lives here does SO much. Clutter is my downfall. I am SO unorganized. But screw it. No one ever comes over here.  I dust when it gets too bad, or Tom does. I do clean the toliets. I do the least amt as possible. I'd be happy to do more. I'm old. I'm worn out. Someone come clean my house. LOL Don't worry about your house. If it smells then find out what smells...if it's the trash....DELEGATE. If it's the carpet hire a shampooer or rent one. If it's just musty air it out. I know. Easy for me to say. Anyway.  No one's judging you. NO ONE.
 I never had a full pot & pan set of my own till a few years ago too!!  I LOVE them.  I bought them for all three of my kids and myself one year because they all got married the same year  (one in Aug, one in Sept, one in Oct). Best purchases I ever made. LOL Hope you enjoy Olive Garden. I like it OK, but DH only eats my spaghetti as far as Italian cuisine goes. LOL
I hope your Mother's Day was the best.
Gentle hugs, Barb  http://journals.aol.com/queenb8261/DiaryofaMadwoman/

sexychick33195 said...

i really do like your blog it is very interesting to me and i understnd and accept why you shouldnt take life for granted because you never know when it tis going to end so you should always expect to be a better person and enjoy life as it is now