How did the telephones get married?
In a double ring ceremony!
What is a polygon?
A dead parrot!
Dad, there is a man at the door collecting for the new swimming pool.
Give him a glass of water!
Eat up your spinach, it'll put color in your cheeks.
But I don't want green cheeks!
"Quick, take the wheel", said the nervous driver.
"Because there is a tree coming straight for us!"
Where does success come before work?
In the dictionary!
Did you hear about the fool you keeps going around saying "no"?
No. Oh, so it's you!
What stories do the ship captain's children like to hear?
Why did Robin Hood only steal from the rich?
Because the poor have nothing worth taking!
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8!
What's an insect's favourite sport?
What kind of car does Mickey Mouse's wife drive?
A minnie van!
Is this a second hand shop?
Yes Sir Good. Can you fit one to my watch then please!
How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?
By flood lighting!