The doctor's office was crowded as usual, but the doctor was moving at his usual snail's pace. After waiting two hours, an old man slowly stood up and started walking toward the door. "Where are you going?" the recptionist called out. "Well," he said, "I figured I'd go home and die a natural death."
What does it mean when you find a bear with a wet nose?
It means you're too close to the bear!
I know I've gained too much weight. I was sitting in my living room last week, and my surround sound wouldn't work!
The post office came out with something called the Forever Stamp. It's 41 cents, and your mail takes forever!