Saturday, June 30, 2007

Hopeful

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal's entry is toward anyone in specific, I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess,and in hopes it might help someone else as I do. And if you might take an entry wrong and feel that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life. God bless you!......



I had a day to do a lot of reflecting on so many things yesterday. I made the time to do so. It was well needed.


I've written about so many things in my journal. To go back and to re read, I feel that I have grown so much as a person inside. I've said before and I'll always say this, I don't regret anything that I've done because it has made me the person that I am today. And this person that I am today; I can live with! And I like it!
There come a time where a person gets a bit tired of feeling the need of walking on egg shells, when there's no need to. Too many ego's getting in the ways. So many game playing. Is that fun? I don't want to be a part of that. It takes too much of my energy away from me, which I don't need. I love life! I love to be happy! I don't feel the need to have to explain my every actions, everything that goes on my my own home for the sake of different screen names, how many people that live in my home, why I write about my illnesses and not about this or that. I choose not to. Thats that!

I am who I am. You either like me or you don't. Thats fine with me. I'm not in any kind of a contest of a popularity either. All I do is want to just write in my journal the way that I do with no drama. And yes...it would be nice if jl would stop all the fighting. Is that wrong of me to ask? It used to be a place that was very differnt. Not anymore. Again...it goes back to where I feel like I'm walking on egg shells around jl. I don't like that feeling.
I put jokes in my journal for a reason. Trying to put some laughter throughout! Even though I do have my pains in my everyday life...I do my best not to make that my main subject. I have ms and fibromyalgia...and yes, I am in pain 24/7. Ok, thats establishied. Now, I move on in my life. Just because I have those, doesn't mean they have me!

No, I'm not leaving jl. I'm here to stay. I'm going to be very busy this weekend with my grandson, so I probably won't be posting. Again...I don't feel that I need to go into full detail about it. And this entry is in no way towards anyone. These are my thoughts and my feelings.
I choose to have certain things or people in my life for a reason. If they are going to be toxic for me, then I need to extinguish it. Then move on with my life! Just that simple. I have a lot of friends that I love dearly! :o) And I appreciate all that they have done for me. Thank you! :o)

LOVE LIFE!  LIVE LIFE!  ENJOY LIFE!  :o)


Gods blessings to you all!


26 comments:

hugsdoodlewacky said...

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arlenes627 said...

I do get totally freaked from one site that I'm on.  We do need time for oursleves, well I do because it's affecting my health.  There are always those people who 'get to ya', even tho your post is to no one in general.  Yes we have fighting there too. Don't know why people think that is a fun thing to do.  

I try on that  pic posting place (can't say where) to relax. It had become very obseesive just to post ... a lot of time. It was depleting me.

God Bless you too.
Have a great weekend.

nightmaremom said...

Great entry my friend!  Sometimes the written word shows no emotion even if you are writing with a boat load of it.  Of course you can't see facial expressions so it can be misunderstood.  That is no reason, however, to live like you need to walk (talk) on egg shells.  You do not need to or should you have to explain everything you say or do.  Especially if it makes you uncomfortable.   But sometimes a simple explanation can fix all the misunderstandings. Relationships are about talking things out, sharing, caring, and making sure all is ok.... especially in troubled times.   I'm glad you are staying and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.  And I do apologize for any stress I may have caused you.
love ya
hugs
d

queeniemart said...

you & i have already talked about this...i support you always in all you do. I love you for you and i rejoice to be a part of your life.
Love,lisa

emabecmar said...

I'm glad your staying. You have too, I put crazy glue on your chair so now your stuck with us, hahahahaha. ((((((hugs))))))))
Love,
Cindy

lipglosslush7 said...

I've been On AOL Journals Since the very first year that it came about. that was about 3-4 years ago. I left for a few years and headed over to MySpace...BUT, i've been here for a long while and recently just came back to it.

I can tell you this...The Drama and the fighting will come and go. It comes in seasons and or waves...you can go a year with J-land being a very peaceful place to have 3 months or more worth of fighting the next year. The reality is it is 80% women who Blog in this community regularly. Women are the most spiteful, hurtful, vindictive creatures. we as females will stop at nothing for revenge or to clear our name in chaos or to hurt someone who hurt us.

Thats the sad truth but thats how we are as a species. and you put a whole bunch of Women into a community.....there is going to be fighting and cattiness, Lies and Deceit.
Sad.....we should be coming together.....but we don't. We compete with eachother even when we don't even realize it.
Not saying we ALL act like this...But some are more grown up than others. Some Are not as strong as others. Some feel they have to Lie to be liked. some have a NEED to be liked. some let jealousy take over their minds. It needs to stop....but i doubt it will. For the past 4 years in this community...it has come and gone...It just stinks when you have to choose who to associate with on here because of immaturity.

pharmolo said...

I've always said that you can write what you want, and if anyone doesn't agree with that they can go hang. It's YOUR journal, something you need very much, and do not allow anyone to spoil that. Welcome back.

my78novata said...

glad yoru here to stay

lisa41076 said...

Lisa, glad you are here to stay !!!!!!!!!!! You are one of the most beautiful J-Land angels and I cherish your friendship, Hugs Lisa

astoriasand said...

Very well said and thats how everyone should feel Lisa.It is good to be assertive and those who do not like what you have to say,don't have to viist..I enjoy coming to your journal and you have certainly brightened my every day since I came along here.You look after number one and keep on entertaining us who agree with what you have written here today.Yehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I am looking forward to reading many many more of your lovely postings.Have  a great week/end with
Grandson,wish I could join you he sure is a good tonic for me when you post about him LOL!! Bless Him.Take Care God Bless Be well.I hope you have less pain and a comfortable one.Kath
Astoriasand http://journals.aol.co.uk/astoriasand/MYSIMPLERHYMES

katie39041 said...

Glad you are ok.
love ad hugs
Katie

sugarsweet056 said...

Hoedy sweetie, knew you'd be back...you love J-Land too much to let someone spoil it for you. Just hang on!
Sugar

jckfrstross said...

enjoy your weekend:)

Deb

loveladylisa1 said...

Glad to read you are sharing. Just keep being you and all will work out.
Lisa
Now go get some rest, take time off, we will all be here when you get back. Habagooday!

rdautumnsage said...

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siennastarr said...

Lisa... Like I have said to you before, and I will say it again..  Don't let these people get to you.  Just put whatever you want in your journal.  It's yours.  You don't need to constantly defend yourself.  Like you said.. Those that want to read will read.. those that don't want to.. won't.  Or shouldn't.  At any rate, don't give these people the time of day.  Just know that you have people here reading that genuinely care about you.  That's all that matters.. :)

Right?

Hugs
Jackie
http://journals.aol.com/siennastarr/Hopefloats/

maryajacobs5 said...

keep posting, it is a help top people like me who have pain 24/7 from fibgromyalgia

Mary
http://journals.aol.com/maryajacobs5/grand-tour-of-america/

nhd106 said...

Good for you, Lisa!  Good for you.

Nancy

layla44808 said...

Lisa, for all the pain you live with, you still make people laugh..A ray of sunshine on a bleak day..Much appreciated.
It's YOUR journal, of course you should write what you want..as we all should.
take care, Sheri

sazzylilsmartazz said...

This is a good entry and I agree with you. I don't even give all the details of my life to people offline. Why should I do that online? There are things you need to share and other things that you want to keep for yourself.  That's why you have a journal. Also, jokes are good because laughter is medicine for the soul.
I understand what you mean when you say you just want to write in your journal and be left in peace. I feel the same way. Yet, that isn't happening and I don't know why. I'm being accused of things I'm not doing and things that would actually be beneath my dignity. All I really want to do is make my goofy little graphics and be left in peace - but oh well.
Anyway, I hope you feel better and glad you are not leaving. I can't imagine what it must be like to have to live in pain 24/7. You need your journal more than most. So, hang in there and maybe the toxicity will blow away with the wind; at least I hope so. I also hope you feel better and enjoy your time with your grandson.
Dianna


geocachelinda66 said...

Its seems the JL troll got you too huh?  Sorry to hear that.  You are right, its your journal and you can't write what ever you want!  You don't need to take dictation from anyone.  Linda

jhorky said...

Being new to journals I was  a bit suprised  to find out their was bickering.  I have no idea why and it is none of my business.  At 77 yrs of age, I feel life is to short to bicker over anything unless it is over some one attacking something I say about my family.  I am just grateful for you, that you can still see well enough to be able to write.  My sons MS took that ability quite early on, also his walking, but he was a lot like you as far as trying to keep on.

bittywitchway said...

way to go lisa, just have fun. if some one gets upset that is their fault for looking at it in the wrong perspective. have fun with your grandson and we'll see ya later

penniepooh said...

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butterflies4me04 said...

Very good entry!! I agree with you with "if no one like it leave"!!! Those are good words to live by! Don't live your life for others, in the end it doesn't make you happy and I know you know all this and agree with it .. you are a very smart, wonderful and strong powerful woman!!! I hope that your pain soon gets better for you! I couldn't imagine what you must go through!!! You have very good standards and things like so will get you far!!!

Theresa

heavenlybama said...

Great post Lisa!  I agree.
Hugs,
D