Tuesday, August 17, 2004
God only knows why.
Well...I really have no idea what today is. I woke up thinking my husband was here. But, he's at work. I hate it when I wake up, and not know anything. I couldn't get to sleep last night, until 4:30! I just got up at 8:00! Great, what a way to start out my day! I have nothing planed for today. I'm glad, because I still feel really confused right now. I see that I don't have any sticky notes up, so I guess there isn't anything important today. This part of fibromyalgia I can live with out as well. It's a scary feeling. I just feel that I exist. Then, add the pain along with this! What a mix this is! Being in pain, and confused, what a combination! Yea...there's no accidents in that combo! When I went to the bathroom, I fell up against the wall! I'm thankful it was our smallest bathroom! My hips and legs are still in pain, along with the shoulders. Nothing has changed. I still have that cold. ggggrrrr! I'm also taking cold medicines. I suppose what I need to do today is to try to make my bed. It hasn't been made since my daughter left. I can't do it, because of the rails, and because it takes more then one person. So, I sleep in a very messy bed, and I can't stand it. The sheets really need to be changed. Oh well. Thats just a small problem. You know, my husband and I were talking last night. What we don't understand is how come the kids do not see the fact that I NEED their help?! Why don't they? It does not make since! They only see it (through rose colored glasses) when they need something from me! Other than that, they don't. And, it hurts my feelings a lot. I've said it before, I have kids that would put me in a home, before they would take care of me! Thinking that it would be best for me. They don't realize how much it sits me back mentally to see this! It's absolutly killing me! And it is. :o( I honestly don't know why I even want to try to get any better. What for? I don't have a life anymore. Today, all I'm going to do, is play a few games on line, take my pills, and try to get some sleep so I can get rid of this nasty cold. Cool day I have....huh?!